I used to think I knew everything. I used to think I had it all figured out. Not anymore.

Now I know there’s so much I’ll never know but I know this: Jesus is faithful.

I make all sorts of promises and manifestos about how I am going to make all sorts of great changes, then fall right back into old fears and lies. I can’t even last one day with my promises. But Jesus is true to His part.

I surrender a desire of mine to God, only to take it back and try to figure out some way to make my way work. I get my hopes all built up on a potential relationship, only to have them come crashing down on me, leaving me with a broken heart and doubts about myself. But Jesus never changes.

I can talk religious and spiritual with the best of them, but my thoughts are a cesspool and my attitudes stink most of the time. I am so very thankful mind-reading is not one of the spiritual gifts, or I would be supremely screwed. Jesus knows, and loves me anyway.

I can look like the most-together spiritually-mature person on the planet, but inside I am fighting back fears and phobias. I wear a mask that looks so real, people think it’s me. But it’s not. Jesus died for the real me.

What do I know for sure? Jesus. He’s faithful, He’s true, He never changes, He loves me no matter what, and He died for me. He’s my constant, my True North.

So what does it matter what anyone else thinks (and why do I obsess over what they think of me so much)? My goal is not to be popular, but faithful. My aim is to please One person, not many.

I will tell myself this story over and over until it really sinks in. I will tell you this story over and over until you can see it the way I’m coming to see it– as good news. The best news you’ll ever hear.

Amen and amen.