I don’t know if I should be posting this in a public place. Well, really it’s not a dirty secret. So I guess it’s okay. It’s more of an admission that is a bit of a blow to my pride. So here it is (ta-da!)

Hi! My name is Greg Johnson. I am 38 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. Actually, that wasn’t so bad. I never had. Not one. Not unless you count that kindergarten fling I had with a girl named Carrie.

Girlfriendlessness is not a path most guys have taken and it is not a path I would have chosen. And for the record I do like women exclusively when it comes to the romance department. Just for the record.

Still I look back on all these years and I can finally see how God blessed me there. I have finally come to embrace this path because that’s where I found out how deeply God really loves me and how strong His arms really are to carry me, to hold me, to embrace me, and to comfort me. I can look back and see in faith Him singing softly over me during those nights when I wanted to die and felt like I wasn’t worth anyone’s love.

I can also see the major pain I avoided, especially the pain I would have caused the girlfriends due to my extreme insecurities and neediness and lack of self-esteem. I thought I was unattractive and that no girl could ever possibly be interested in me because I had nothing to offer. I see now that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that I do have a lot to offer. The way I make myself attractive is to follow hard after Jesus and let Him live through me in a lifestyle of compassion and kindness and chivalry.

So there’s my secret. Know that if you are like me, you are not alone. And trust me, God knows. He has not forgotten you, nor will He ever. Just listen for that still, small voice singing over you during the silent watches of the night.

PS I’m 41 and three years have passed since I penned this blog. I have come to a place of deep contentment with where I am. Ok, at least 95% of the time. I’d still like to date and eventually get married, but if that’s not God’s plan for me, I can honestly say I am fine with that. God alone is more than enough.