I thought about you again today. Especially today. I thought of how great it would be to have you close to me in front of some roaring fire after the kids have gone to bed in anticipation of Santa. We would have played Santa and then sat down, you snuggling up close to me and me sighing in deep contentment.

I know that marriage is not the be-all, end-all panacea to life’s problems. I know it will be incredibly hard and that we will both find out how selfish and self-centered we can be at  times. But already I am committing to love you no matter what and stick it out no matter what happens.

Thank you that you saw something that other girls didn’t (or wouldn’t). You chose to look deeper, past the insecurities and the awkwardness to the true me inside. You saw the Jesus in me and fell in love, just as I saw the Jesus in you and was captivated by the beauty there.

Our first Christmas together will have presents, but my main gift to you will be me. It will be me doing all I can at whatever cost to me or my ego or my way of doing things to seek your happiness and your Christlikeness. When my job’s done, you’ll be the one who knows how far love goes, as the Dar Williams song says.

I am getting closer to you. I feel that not that I am more ready, but I know how much I will need Jesus to make this work. It will have to be the Jesus in me loving the Jesus in you. I am finding out that there is a tender warrior inside me that is ready to ravish and cherish and bless your heart.

Pray for me this Christmas that I will be able to guard my heart against being carried away by every infatuation and crush that comes my way. Pray that I will guard my mind against temptations and thoughts that will surely come. And I will pray the same for you.

One day, our friendship will blossom into love, or as a facebook friend put it, our friendship will catch on fire. Not an explosion that dies out, but a slow and steady burn that lasts. I am looking forward to loving you more every day until the day I die, and will one day be

Your future husband.