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Fathers And All That

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I can imagine Joseph on a break from his carpentry job, hanging around the water cooler that just happens to be on the construction site. Go with me on this.

He’s listening to the other guys brag about their sons:

“My son made the honor roll again. That boy is just plain smart.”

“Yeah? Well, my boy is All-State in both football and basketball. He’ll be getting a free ride to any college he wants.”

“My boy is going into the ROTC and into the Army after he graduates from college. He wants to dedicate his life to defending freedom.”

Then Joseph can’t resist any longer. “My boy is Savior of the World.”

They all roll their eyes. One of them says, “Yeah, yeah. We know. Jesus is soooo great. He can walk on water. He’s the perfect Man, God incarnate, yada, yada, yada. You don’t have to keep reminding us of how great your son is.”

OK. That probably never happened. But I do think Joseph is a good example of a good father.

He’s the one who raised a child he didn’t father. Sure, it was a miraculous event, but still, Jesus was not his biological child. But he was man enough to take responsibility. He did the best thing any good father can do by loving his wife, Mary, day in and day out.

Also, he raised Jesus in the right way. Jesus knew how to work hard with his hands and was taught the importance of integrity and honesty. When the Bible says that Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, Joseph had a part in that.

Actually, the Bible never records any of Joseph’s actual words. It merely says that when Joseph heard what the angel said, he obeyed. Jesus learned obedience from a human perspective by watching his earthly father. Joseph knew that most of the most important life lessons are caught rather than taught, so he lived out his faith and his integrity and back up what he said by what he did.

Fathers, take a few notes from Joseph. Learn to lead by example and to be the man you want your son to become and your daughter to marry.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in a While

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“You are the butter to my bread, you are the breath to my life” (from the movie Julie & Julia).

I blogged a few days ago about a magical movie moment at Best Buy. I’m beginning to realize that that girl is probably not you. In fact, I sincerely doubt I’ll ever see her again.

But one thing she did that I’m forever grateful for is to help me believe in myself again. Specifically, she helped me to believe that I could be desirable and attractive to the opposite sex. Not in a logical in-my-head kind of way, but in a very real, in-real-life kind of way.

I had even begun to doubt you would ever come my way, but now I believe in that again. I believe that even if it takes a miracle for us to meet, God has plenty of experience and practice and miracles and it’s really true that what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for him,

There are still some fuzzy parts. I don’t know who you are or what you look like. I don’t know when or how we’ll meet. I don’t know where I’ll be. But I do know that wherever you are will be my home.

I know that there will be times when we won’t be “in love,” but we will still love each other, because love isn’t a feeling as much as it is a choice, an action, an active verb. Love even means loving when you don’t feel like it. Going through the motions of love sometimes until the feelings of love return.

I do hope there are moonlit walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. I hope for fireworks and also for quiet moments. I can’t wait to feel you lying next to me, sleeping while I’m still not able to fall asleep over the wonder that you belong to me and I belong to you and that we both belong to Jesus.

Some days, you are harder to see than others, but my hope isn’t in you. It’s in God. Period. I hope you will love me, but I hope you will love Jesus more. I hope to love you, but not half as much as I hope to love Jesus. And I know neither of our loves will even begin to touch the love of the Father for each of us.

That’s what I’m hoping for.

 

Another Break from Facebook

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I was about to call it a night when I realized something. I’d forgotten to write my blog for the day. So here it is, at 1:06 a.m., so don’t be looking for any Pulitzer-worthy materials.

I’m taking a break from facebook. It’s been two days now and I haven’t been to the website once. I’ve thought about it fifty times, but so far I’ve restrained myself.

The last time I did it I was angry and upset by what I perceived to be someone ignoring one of my comments. I knew I had to get my head right and get my thinking straight again. It lasted 10 days and I felt like a new man afterward.

This time, there’s no anger. This time it’s a conscious effort to do without something so I know it doesn’t have a hold on me. I guess you could say I’m giving up facebook for Lent. I’m not really sure how long this is supposed to last. I’m guessing up until Easter. But I didn’t grow up observing Lent, so I really don’t have much of a clue about these things.

All I know is that it’s supposed to be time to spend in prayer and in God’s word. Theoretically, every time I get the urge to check my page or see what my facebook friends are up to, I instead pick up my Bible and pray. I’ll be honest and say that I haven’t done a very good job of that yet.

But I have a few weeks to go, so maybe by that time, I’ll be more disciplined.

To my facebook friends, if you’re reading this, I haven’t forgotten you. I haven’t abandoned you. I’m taking a much-needed break and I will be back. You can still contact me through email or text messaging. You can even hunt me down in person, if you get the notion.

This isn’t really super-spiritual. It’s just me letting you know that I’m alright and God is still working on me.

Have You Ever. . . ?

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Just a hypothetical question or two for you to chew over.

Have you ever messed up a relationship at work so badly that you can’t see how it will ever be put right again? Where it just seems like the other person doesn’t like you at all and nothing you do makes it any better, but only makes it worse?

Maybe you’ve been there. You’ve thought to yourself, “I couldn’t have screwed this up any worse if I had done it on purpose.”

Isn’t it good to know that your self-worth doesn’t come from those relationships? Isn’t it good to know that you are not defined by your success at getting people to like you? Doesn’t it change everything when you fully and deeply grasp that the only opinion that truly matters comes from the God who already approved of you?

As far as that relationship goes, I can’t really help you. I’m not the world’s best at dealing with people who don’t like me. I’m far better than I used to be, but I do still have a ways to go.

But I do know that God is very fond of me. He’s very fond of you. And even if that relationship miraculously revived and grew into friendship, it would still pale in comparison with how much the God of the universe loves you. Is in love with you.

My suggestion is to be Jesus to those people. Treat them as you would want them to treat you and pray for them for God’s peace and joy and salvation. It’s really hard to hate someone you’re praying for.

Again, this doesn’t come down from the mountain of some great person who’s figured it all out and has decided to let you in on his awesome wisdom. This comes from a fellow traveler on the road who’s learned far more from failing and falling down than from success.

Let the love of God tell you who you are, not the judgments of other people. Love is definitely the better way.

 

 

How Fit Is Your Faith?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

If I had my way, everyone would like me. Everything would always go my way and my teams would always win every game. All those teams I didn’t like would cease to exist. Everything I owned would work properly and every road I drove down would be sunny and traffic jam-free.

I’d also have the weakest faith ever.

Most of the things that have strengthened my faith have been unwanted, uncomfortable and (sometimes painful). Given a choice, I probably would have said no to most of them. But my faith wouldn’t be nearly what it is now.

So here’s some questions to gauge how fit your faith is:

1) What do you do when your “dream mate” falls in love with someone else?

2) What happens when someone at work doesn’t like you, no matter how nice and friendly you are or how you go out of your way to treat him or her with kindness?

3) What happens when your circumstances never seem to get any better and hope gets harder and harder to find?

4) What happens when your children act out or continuously behave in ways that run contrary to how you taught them to act or behave?

5) What happens when you run out of answers?

I think that faith grows in the dark. It’s in those times when you can’t see God and can’t find any answers that you find a stronger faith than ever before. It’s when you come to the end of your self-reliance and have no other choice but to fall on the grace of God that you really find out how strong it is to save.

It’s not about great faith in God, but faith in a great God that counts. That’s what I cling to in the dark days when not much makes sense. I hope you do, too.

 

My New Year’s Resolutions Thus Far

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I haven’t really given a lot of thought to new year’s resolutions. I probably should start on that sometime soon, but for now I’ll give you what I have so far. It’s a short list, but we’re only 3 days into 2013, so I figure that I have at least another week or two to really get all my goals down in writing. Here goes:

1) To not get hit by any more cars. I think once was enough for a lifetime and I’m fortunate to only have a dislocated pinky and a busted elbow from it. I think that’s a doable resolution, don’t you?

2) To look both ways twice before crossing the street. It goes along with the first one, and so far I’ve been faithful with this one.

3) To do better at giving people the benefit of the doubt and grace. I’ve needed plenty of grace from other people in the past, so I know what it feels like to need it. I also know that when someone does something I don’t like or understand, there’s always one fact about that person that if I knew, would completely change my perspective on why they did what they did.

4) This one’s still a work in progress. Check back later.

5) Ditto for #4. In fact, #6, #7, and #8, too.

That’s it for me for now.

I’d like to hear your resolutions. Partly because I really am interested. Partly because I could always take the ones I really like and steal them and say they were my ideas.

I hope and pray that if 2013 was a good year that 2013 will be even better. If 2012 was a rough year that you are glad to have gotten through, I hope 2013 will see good things and blessings coming your way. Even if you’ve gotten off to a bad start, January 4 can always be your new beginning. It’s never too late to start again.

 

 

The Joys of Insomnia

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Last night, I couldn’t sleep. It was not fun.

I went to bed somewhere in the neighborhood of 11 pm and thought I would be good to go. An hour later, I knew I was in trouble. Every half hour later found me still wide awake and increasingly agitated with myself for not being able to sleep. I was also annoyed with my cat for being able to fall asleep the moment she laid down on the pillow (I’m sure she was equally annoyed with me for tossing and turning so much and waking her up). For the record, agitation doesn’t help you sleep. And no, warm milk did not help.

I have found the harder you try to sleep, the less likely it is that you will succeed. The old motto of “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again,” doesn’t work with insomnia. It only makes it worse.

This may or may not make sense to you, but I may or may not have fallen asleep somewhere between 2:30 and 7 am. I can’t really be sure that I wasn’t deep in thought or really sleeping. When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t feel like I had slept at all.

The good part is that I got in a lot of praying. Mostly along the lines of, “Lord, help me fall asleep,” but nevertheless, I had plenty of time to pray and meditate. The bad part is that I had plenty of time to think, too much time.

Hopefully, I will sleep better tonight. I have felt like a zombie all day and my mental capacity has been at the level of “fire bad, tree pretty.” It hasn’t been pretty.

Maybe I will experience the ultimate irony and dream about being awake all night with insomnia. Heck, I’ve dreamed stranger dreams than that by far.

I’m remembering the verse in the Psalms (I think) which says that God grants sleep to those he loves. That’s a beautiful promise. I pray tonight that both you and I realize that promise and that we wake up refreshed and ready for a new day full of possibilities and adventures and whatever God has in store for us.

Stardust and Thoughts About True Love

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

 

I’m no expert on love. At least not the romantic kind.

I do think that while movies often get love wrong, sometimes they hit the nail on the head when it comes to what true love really looks like.

In Stardust, one of the main characters talks about love. She says that true love is unexpected, uncontrollable, and very often can be mistaken for loathing. I don’t know about that.

She also says that true love should be unconditional. You shouldn’t have to earn it or prove it. I think she’s right.

True love is when someone loves you for just you. Not who you might one day become or who you hope to be. True love doesn’t wait until you measure up or get all your flaws fixed.

I know enough to know that love isn’t all moonlit walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. Love is work, because love is an active verb that requires action. Love transcends emotions and does the best for the beloved, regardless of whether it feels like it or not.

Love is God becoming a man to take my place in a punishment my sins deserved to die a death that should have been mine. Love says that I was worth it. Love not only said it, but backed it up on a cross.

Sometimes, love isn’t pretty. Sometimes, love means laying down your life for someone else. Even if that means a gory death on an instrument of torture. We romanticize Jesus’ death on the cross to make it more palatable, but it was anything but. It was messy, it was shameful, it was horrific.

And it was for us. That’s the ultimate example of true unconditional love that has been or ever will be.

That’s the kind of love I want to receive. That’s the kind of love I want to show.

Sometimes I Wish . . .

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Sometimes I wish I were my cat for one whole day. I could sleep 23 out of the 24 hours in the day, take a wild 15 minute romp through the house, and spend the remaining 45 minutes eating and reposing (not to mention the occasional litterbox visit). That would be a good day.

Sometimes I wish Monopoly money were real. Then I’d be rich, but then so would everybody else with the Monopoly boardgame and gas would probably go up to $10 a gallon. Never mind.

Sometimes I wish people would break out of their ruts and familiar crowds and places and branch out to new people and places. Yes, I’m including me in this little wish.

Sometimes I wish life were like the movies where love and fortune drop in your lap and you spend the rest of your days in a happily ever after that requires no effort or sacrifice. Then again, I would take it for granted and it wouldn’t mean much.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do a few things differently and make different choices. But then I realize that every single choice I’ve ever made has led me to this point, surrounded by the best family and friends any guy could ever ask for. So I’ll stick with my original choices. Final answer.

I wish a lot of things. Most of them won’t ever come true. Wishing and dreaming without a plan is just fantasy. Or worse, it’s delusional.

What are you doing to make your wishes come true? Better yet, what am I doing?

I am probably the world’s worst when it comes to actually starting a plan and seeing it through. Kinda like the lame joke about joining Procrastinators Anonymous . . . . tomorrow.

The key reality in all this is that God’s still very much in control. I make my plans and plan my future, but God directs my steps. I can look back and see that I could have chosen differently many times in my life, but I can see where every choice I made ended up leading me right where God wanted me to be all along.

After reading what I just wrote, I wish I didn’t have ADD. But sometimes random is more fun than normal.