weirdness

Being an Adult

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blanket-fort-coloring

Have you ever had the feeling that everyone else has mastered the art of being grown-up and you’re failing? That maybe everyone else got a secret handbook on how to be an adult or went to some clandestine meeting that you weren’t privy to and learned all about how to act mature?

I know I do sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I’ve gotten really good at faking adulthood and that at any moment a real adult is going to catch on and send me back to junior high. Or possibly 4th grade.

I truly believe that most adults are good fakers. Most of us don’t really know what we’re doing or what’s really going on but we’ve mastered the art of looking and acting like we do. Most of us would rather be in that blanket fort coloring but are too scared to admit it.

I’ve learned over my life that freedom from fear comes when you realize that you’re not the only one who struggles with that particular issue. You’re not the lone freak in a world of completely normal people. Normal is an illusion anyway and the people who seem the most normal are most likely the best at hiding their idiosyncrasies and weirdnesses from the rest of us.

I also think that most of us have grown up believing that Jesus loves the good little boys and girls. In other words, the ones who act normal. I don’t know whether that was intentionally taught or not, but most of us caught that message loud and clear.

The truth is that Jesus loves even the bad girls and boys. He loves the boys and girls who always seem to screw up, the ones who have the best intentions that somehow always turn into the worst train wrecks imaginable. He doesn’t help those who help themselves, but rather those who know they can’t.

That’s the Gospel. Jesus loves the little children, ALL the children of  the world. Even the weirdos.

 

Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality

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island hammock

OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.

322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.

323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).

324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.

325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.

326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.

327) Orange popsicles.

328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”

329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.

330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.

331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).

332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.

333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

334) Really small Bibles.

335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.

336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.

337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.

338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.

339) The Cheesecake Factory.

340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).

341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.

342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.

343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.

344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.

345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).

346) Food in general.

347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.

348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.

349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.

350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.

My Oscar Acceptance Speech (Just in Case)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I wanted to let all of you know that I’m in a good place. In fact, I truly feel like I’m in a better place spiritually, mentally, and physically than I’ve been in for a long time. And I have you to thank for it.

I won’t be like the actual Oscar winners and name names, but I will thank you and hope you recognize yourself in this list.

Thank you for praying for me faithfully and consistently. There are times when I truly felt like I was carried by those prayers and times when your prayers and your faith in and for me sustained me when I didn’t have the prayers to pray or the faith to believe for myself.

Thank you for your spoken words of encouragement and all your texts and posts on my wall and facebook messages that always seemed to come at just the right moment when I needed to hear those words. God spoke mightily to me through you.

Thank you for meeting with me for coffee and conversation. Those times meant more to me than you knew because I know you cared enough about me to take time out of your busy schedule to spend time with me.

Thank you even if you said you wanted to meet for coffee and conversation but were unable to follow through. I know you meant well and I am flattered and honored that you even considered meeting with me.

Thank you for putting up with my occasional moments of insanity and weirdness and those times when I was overly needy or obnoxious. The fact that you stuck around when you could have bolted means the world to me.

Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your community groups and Sunday School classes. Thank you for rooting for me and helping me believe in myself. Thank you for being amazing examples of Christ for me to learn from.

I know there’s so much I probably left out that I should have included. But with my ADD, I’m doing good to remember all of this.

Just know that I am eternally grateful to know each and every one of you and I pray that God blesses you as much as you have blessed me and that he brings you as much joy as you have brought to my life– which is way more than I deserved or could ever hope to contain. I’m so very grateful to have you play a part in the story of my life that God is still writing for me.

Thank you.

Reminders for the Road

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“Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]. And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].” (Colossians 3:12-15)

Tomorrow, you’re preparing to set out for home for Thanksgiving. Maybe you’re driving across the country or maybe it’s just across town. Maybe it’s a trip back in time, because you know the minute you walk through that door, you’re 10-years old again, not sure what to say or how to act.

Here’s a hint. Along with that extra serving of turkey and dressing, try a side of grace. Remember that you are just as broken spiritually as the other person. Remember you needed the forgiveness of Christ just as much as he or she did.

Take the initiative in granting forgiveness. You’re releasing the other person from the expectation that he or she can fix what he or she did wrong. You not only free that person, you free yourself. You never know when it’s you who will be needing forgiveness.

Remember that the only person you have to please at the end of the day is God. His opinion is the only one that really matters. Because he’s the only one who really knows you inside and out.

This feels like a repeat from something I wrote a couple of days ago, but sometimes we need to be reminded more than once. I know I do.

Above all, enjoy the time for what it is, not for what you wish it could be. Accept that your family is just as weird as you are and you will get along a lot better.

Most of all, learn in all things to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving. Find at least one thing about every person at the dinner table to be thankful for, even in yourself.

Happy Turkey Day!