waiting

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

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I’m convinced that when you’re waiting for something, time moves half as fast as normal, so 15 minutes seems like 30, and 30 like an hour. That especially applies for doctor’s waiting rooms and motor vehicle registration offices.

If you’ve ever had to wait after a job interview, you know how frustratingly slow the process can seem. For me, there’s enough time to go from exhilarating optimism to crushing despair to somewhere in the middle during that time.

But waiting is good. Waiting is where God makes us who he wants us to be. Waiting is where God speaks to us the most.

But I still hate waiting.

I have to be honest. I’d rather have a root canal than have to wait. I’d rather watch episodes of Real Housewives of Atlanta than wait. You get the idea.

But I also know it’s good for me. It slows me down. It helps me to refocus and reorient my thinking. It’s like rebooting your computer periodically so that it works better.

Waiting means that I am no longer in control of the outcome. I acknowledge that God, and not me, is in control of the situation. He knows better than I do what the best outcome is, so I’ve learned to trust that.

It shouldn’t, but it always surprises me that God has impeccable timing. He’s never too soon or too late, but always shows up at the exact right moment. You’d think by now I’d expect that and be ready, but it always catches me off guard.

So I wait. I’m learning to wait well. I’m still not sure what that looks like, but I think I’m starting to catch on. It means expectancy of God showing up and getting ready for when that happens.

I just wish waiting didn’t take so long.

The First Letter to My Future Wife in 2013

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I have a confession to make to you. I actually gave up on you for a little while. I gave up hope that I would ever meet you. But now I have hope again.

It may the tiniest bit of hope, but it’s there. It may not always be visible, but it’s strong enough to hold on to. I will never give up believing in you and praying for you until the day I meet you.

At this rate, we may both be 80-something and senile, but we’ll have fun– at least for a little while.

Don’t give up on me either. Don’t quit praying for me as I won’t give up praying for you. May we both commit to growing closer to Jesus and by that way grow closer to each other. May your first desire not be to find me, but to seek after and hold on to and treasure Jesus for all he’s worth. May that be my first desire, too.

I’ll be honest. Right now, meeting you seems like an impossibility, humanly speaking. But I believe that God is at his best at making the impossible possible. So I keep hoping. And praying. And waiting.

I pray that I don’t find you until I’m ready to love you like I’m supposed to love you. Like Jesus loved his bride and laid down his life for her. Like he will call me to love you when I meet you.

Until then, my hope is secure in the only place that can’t be shaken. It’s in God himself. I pray yours is, too.

 

 

I Love the Winter Weather

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My car windows were frosted over this morning. It was that cold.

Normally, I would have taken about two minutes to scrape off the ice, but I decided earlier this year to get rid of my window scraper because it was broken. A decision that in hindsight wasn’t the smartest one I’ve ever made.

So I drove to work with the windows frosted over and the defroster on high, hoping the ice would thaw before I ran into any real traffic. Not my most shining moment ever. And I made it safely with no incidents.

Winter is a good reminder of the spiritual life. At some point, all of us go into winter mode– a kind of season of waiting where there’s no outward change or growth. It seems like everything is dead and nothing will ever come back, but this is the season of preparation for the spring yet to come.

Sometimes, God puts us through seasons of waiting. Seasons of pruning and refining. The process can be painful and seem to last forever, but don’t lose heart. Your spring is coming.

And yes, I’m going to Advance Auto Parts and buy a window scraper. Soon.

It’s in the Details

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“Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way” (Colossians 3:15-17).

I’ve had a hard time coming up with something to write tonight. That happens to me periodically. I search my brain for a memory or a word or a phrase I heard earlier to trigger an idea that becomes a blog, but I get nothing. I can hear the wheels in my head a-turnin’, but apparently the hampster has gone off to sleep somewhere.

I do know that it’s useless to spend your whole life waiting for the next big event. If you’re single, that means waiting until you find someone to date. If you’re dating, that means waiting until you are engaged and then married. If you’re married, it means waiting until the first child is on the way. And so on.

If you’re not careful, you get so caught up in looking ahead in anticipation that you miss what is in front of you. A smiling face. A kind word. A small blessing.

Those little things help you along the road to becoming the person who is ready for the next big event. How you treat the people around you now will determine if you’re ready for your next phase.

So be compassionate now. Love unconditionally now. Be content now. Trust God now.

He will take care of getting you to the next step.

 

 

Just Relax

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I have yet another confession to make. I over-analyze everything. Well, most things anyway. I can wreck myself thinking too much about conversations I’ve had where I spoke and should have been silent or was silent and should have spoken. I’ve analyzed to death things friends have said that really didn’t mean what I thought they meant.

The word for today for me (and for you if you’re like me) is RELAX. Don’t over-analyze and don’t try so hard to force an outcome in your situation. Instead, enjoy the moment and watch expectantly for God to act.

I don’t mean veg out on the couch and eat bon-bons all day (or oreos, if you feel bon-bons aren’t manly enough). Live your life and have faith, or as Oswald Chambers said, “Trust God and do the next thing.”

God will act when He’s ready. When you’re really and truly ready and not when you think you are ready. In my experience, the longer the wait is, the better the surprise God has for you.

Sometimes, you wait until you think you can’t wait any longer. You hold out until you are absolutely about to run out of patience and strength and willpower. And then you wait some more. You come to the end of yourself and all your schemes and plans and the only prayer you can pray is, “Lord, help.”

The last time I checked, God was still sovereign. God was (and is) still in control. He still knows the number of hairs on your head and the number of tears you cry in the night. He more than anyone knows the secret desires of your heart and He more than anyone knows what will make you come alive and where you were created to be.

So relax. God’s got this. Like the old saying goes: there is a God and you’re not Him. I know for me, that’s a big load off my shoulders.

 

The Best Exotic Marigold Epiphany

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“Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not the end” (from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).

I never thought I’d actually enjoy a movie about a group of retirees who move to a hotel in India to save money. But I did. It helps that the cast was stellar and the setting was fantastic and beautiful.

But there were a couple of lines that spoke to me more than if they’d come out of a devotional. The above quote and one other small exchange of dialogue:

Evelyn: “Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.”

Muriel: “Most things don’t. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.”

It does work out alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end. If my life doesn’t make sense, there’s more to come. If I feel defeated and discouraged, there’s another chapter set to begin.

The Bible puts it another way: “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”

Maybe you’re in a low point in your story. Maybe you love someone who doesn’t love you back. Maybe you aren’t where you thought you’d be financially. Maybe you are like me and just got let go from your job. Maybe you feel like the story will never get better.

The best part of any story is the unexpected twist that always comes at the lowest point. And God is the best and coming through at the exact moment you need Him to. He delights in changing your story from a tragedy to a triumph.

You may not get what you expected, but sometimes that can be a good thing. A very good thing.

And believe me, the ending to God’s story for you is the best you’ll ever read. I promise.

Waiting

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Waiting is not doing nothing. Waiting is not sitting idly by watching for God to drop our dreams in our laps.

Waiting means getting ready. It means preparing your fields for rain so that in due time you may reap a harvest.

Waiting means an open mind, a listening ear, and a softened heart.

Waiting means trusting in God’s perfect timing, not forcing anything or speeding things up, but actively trusting that God knows what He’s doing and that what He’s doing is for His glory and for your good.

Waiting means letting go of what you’re grasping with clenched fists to receive what God is preparing you for. It means possibly letting go of something good to receive something better.

Waiting is not something you can learn about by reading up on it or studying other people who wait. You can only learn to wait by waiting, by experience of trial and error and frustration and impatients that finally resolves into peace and serenity and the faith of a child.

Waiting means living with tension and notes that don’t resolve. It means being content with not having answers, but only silence to your myriad of questions.

Waiting is to be still and know that Yahweh is God. He’s in control and His plans will prevail.

Waiting the right way is never in vain and never without its rewards, among those the being greater knowledge and closer intimacy with God. That and that alone is worth the costs that come with waiting.

There’s a lot more to learn about waiting that will take a lifetime to master, but I know this: waiting is a good thing.

 

Lessons From the Not Yet

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Maybe you remember back in high school and college when you wondered if that special someone who caught your eye reciprocated your interest. It would have been so much easier to have one of those grade school forms that went something like “Do you like me? Check Yes or No.”

Some of us are still there, in a perpetual state of singleness, wondering if the one we want to like us really does. It’s frustrating not knowing. Even a rejection would be easier to handle than the not knowing.

So many times, we want answers. Even answers we don’t like are better than no answers at all.

I really think that maybe being in a place where we’re waiting for answers is a good place. I think that’s where we learn the most precious and valuable lessons from God. That’s where we learn to really trust and rely on and cling to God.

I’ve heard it said that faith may not always know where it is being led, but it trusts the One leading. You may not know the outcome of what you long for and pray for, but you know that God still works all things together for good for those who love Him.

I think when we only want answers, we short-change ourselves. God is offering the opportunity for us to have all of Him and and to know Him and fellowship with Him. That’s so much better than the answers to a few questions.

Learning to trust in the absence of answers is hard. Learning to be still when every instinct in you is screaming to take the matter into your own hands is difficult.

Growing is painful and slow. Maturity doesn’t come microwave-style in a matter of minutes, but over months and years.

You will know your faith is mature when you realize that you will never get answers to some of your questions and you still choose to follow anyway.

Oswald Chambers once said, “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading.  It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us “go.”  The root of faith is the knowledge of a Person, and one of the biggest snares is the idea that God is sure to lead us to success.”

The endgame is not answers to your questions or even getting what you desire. It’s character. It’s becoming like Christ. It’s becoming every single part of who God made you to be– your deepest, truest self.

That, my friends, is worth waiting for.

Waiting in the In-Between

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In The Magician’s Nephew, a great fantasy book by C.S. Lewis, the main characters find themselves in a “Wood Between the Worlds” kind of place. A place where nothing ever happens, with a warm and calming kind of quietness. A place where you can almost hear the grass growing and branches sprouting leaves.

I’ve felt like that. Like I’m waiting in a place between the now and the not-yet. I feel like time slows down in this place and the waiting seems to take forever and nothing ever really seems to change.

I check my facebook and see everyone else moving past while I’m stuck in the waiting. I see all the parties and social events I didn’t get invited to and I see people’s lives moving at breakneck speed while mine seems to trudge on at a turtle’s pace.

But I believe God’s word for those in the In-Between is simply to wait.

Don’t force the next chapter or the next step. Don’t try to pry open the door into the next part of your life. Being at the right place at the wrong time is still wrong.

We feel like what God wants from us is activity and busy-ness. What God wants from us is dependence and trust. And sometimes rest.

Waiting in the In-Between is not doing nothing. It is getting ready for the next part. It’s becoming the person you need to be to do what God is calling you toward. He’s the one who knows when you’re ready because He’s the one getting you ready.

Instead of a frenetic and feverish impatience to get on to the next big event, try a little deep breathing and deep trusting. Trust that although you may not know the way, you know the One who is leading you and you know that He knows the way and will get you there exactly when you need to be there.

Maybe this time I’ll take my own advice and just learn to enjoy the ride instead of waiting for the destination.

PS You don’t have to wait alone. Part of the blessing of being a part of the Body of Christ is that we not only worship and pray and laugh and weep together. We also wait together.

Who Looks Out for You? For Whitney: Part II

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I got to thinking more about what Kevin Costner said at Whitney Houston’s funeral. Something else he said resonated with me on more than one level.

He spoke of how he decided to cast her in the leading female role of The Bodyguard. He not only chose her, but he fought for her when the bigwig studio execs wanted another actress with more experience than Whitney (and who was white, although they never explicitly said so).

Kevin was even willing to wait a year until she finished her concert tour. He believed in her for the role to the point that he made her believe in it for herself. The result is history– a mega-blockbuster movie and a soundtrack that sold a gazillion copies.

Do you have someone that fights for you like that? Do you have someone in your corner willing to speak on your behalf with that kind of tenacity? One that won’t quit even when you have?

When the Bible calls Jesus your advocate who goes before the Father on your behalf, that’s exactly what it means. He fights for you– not against God– but as God in human skin.

When the devil claims you because of your past, Jesus points to the cross and says, “That’s taken care of. This one belongs to me now and you have no more claim over my child than you did over Me at the cross or the grave.”

When the world says you’re beyond saving, Jesus says, “I have called you by name and redeemed you. You are never beyond My reach and never, ever gone for Me to be able to save. It’s never too late for Me to step in and transform you into My image.”

When the voices in your head say that you’ll never amount to anything and that you are a waste of space and effort, Jesus says, “I know what plans I have for you and I won’t ever stop until I’ve finished what I started in you.”

When your failures and mistakes tell you it’s hopeless and you are nothing more than all your worst sins, Jesus says, “You are not what those other people says you are. You are not the names you call yourself in your darkest moments. You are who I say you are, and that is Beloved Redeemed Beautiful Transformed Child of the King of Kings.”

I wish someone could have spoken up for Whitney in the last days of her life. When all she was hearing was how the drugs would finally kill her and she was hopelessly spiralling out of control, I wish someone could have told her, “I believe in you. I believe you can beat this. I believe that God in you is stronger than anything you’re facing right now and I will stand by you, no matter what.”

Maybe you can speak for someone right now. Maybe you can be the voice for those who have no voice and take a stand for those the world has forgotten or discarded. Maybe you can believe good things for someome when they can’t believe for themselves.

Remember above all that Jesus speaks for you always. His love trumps your greatest fears and failures. He has already defeated anything you have or will ever face in your life.

That’s Who looks out for you.