value

The Real Dirt on Relationships

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

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No, this isn’t another one of those blogs on dating. Yeah, I know the typical cliche topic whenever you go to a singles group or Young Adult Bible Study is dating, relationships, and– the holy grail of all singles– marriage.

This is not one of those.

“If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. Don’t bother reserving a space for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.”

I know we’re all busy. We have lives and jobs. Some of us have marriages and kids. Some of us have pets. We all have a plethora of activities and groups and social events we’re a part of. There’s still only 24 hours in a day and that’s not going to change any time soon.

But the harsh truth is this: if someone means something to you, you will find time for them. If you can’t (or won’t) find time for them, it means that they don’t matter. You may tell them they matter, but if your actions speak otherwise, that’s what the person will hear. Actions do speak far louder than words.

If someone doesn’t respond to your texts or posts, the same thing applies. I understand that you might not have time to reply in that instant, but if you care about the other person at all, you will find the time to respond. Even if it’s just “I got your text” or “Thanks, but no thanks” is better than nothing at all. To not respond at all is perceived as ignoring the person, and as we all know, my or your perception may not be reality, but it’s all we have to go on.

You do have to learn to let those people go who won’t make the effort to be a part of your life. And making an effort means making or finding time. Always. Embrace those who stick with you through your moments of temporary insanity, through when you’re not as easy to be around. Those are rare gems that don’t come along every day.

I should add that not every single relationship will be like this. Some healthy relationships involve people who won’t see or hear from each other for a long time, but when the two get together, it’s like no time at all has passed. My advice is to always in every relationship give the other person grace and the benefit of the doubt.

As I’ve said before, you can’t be friends with everyone. At least not in the sense of investing in people and cultivating meaningful relationships with them. You will either have many shallow relationships or fewer but deeper friendships that last.

Most of all, hold all of your relationships with an open hand and a surrendered heart. God will put some people in your lives for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 years. Sometimes, you only get one conversation. Sometimes, you get years of companionship. Don’t try to hold onto someone God has only put into your life for a short time.

That’s all I have for tonight, just some things that have been ruminating in the old noggin of mine for quite some time.

Rise: A Night of Worship and What Came Out Of It

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I went to a very special and unique Kairos event. It was billed as another Night of Worship, but started off very different than any service I’d ever been to before.

It started as a mock funeral. Mike Glenn led somber-faced pallbearers carrying a casket into the sanctuary. He then proceeded to preach a funeral service for Jesus just as he might for any member of the congregation who passed away.

It might seem a bit macabre, but it really brought two points home to me.

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First, the sin I so easily dismiss and take for granted has consequences. As Mike said, sin brings death to everybody every time. In this case, Jesus took the death that should have been mine. Whenever I look lightly at my sin, I need to remember that it cost Jesus his life.

Second, I must never forget the price paid for my life. Jesus thought I was worth every drop of his blood. That means that I have value beyond my income potential or job title or social status. I have value both in being created in God’s image and redeemed by his Son Jesus.

You can’t have Easter Sunday without Good Friday. The resurrection doesn’t mean anything without the cross. The triumph loses its impact without the suffering and the agony that proceeded it. I love what I read earlier today that the cross wasn’t a defeat and the resurrection the victory. The cross was the victory and the resurrection was the icing on the cake, the proof of that victory for the world to see. You need both.

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For me, the worship at the end meant more because I saw what my sin cost Jesus and what great lengths he went through for me because he’d rather go through hell for me than go to heaven without me (to borrow from Max Lucado).

May you and I have the courage to face Good Friday and take every bit of it in and not just skip to Easter Sunday and the happy part. May we never take lightly or for granted the sin that cost Jesus his life or treat as cheap the life he paid the ultimate price to redeem.

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Switching the Price Tags

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I heard a great illustration today, followed by an equally great point. The story follows that on the night before an estate sale, people broke in to the house. Only they didn’t steal anything. They switched the price tags around. The next morning, some people got astoundingly good deals on big-ticket items while others paid way too much for junk.

Isn’t that a picture of contemporary society. The media and culture hold up trinkets as priceless and dismiss treasures as worthless. Sex without love is prized, yet true committed love is trashed. People spend crazy amounts of time and money pursuing fleeting pleasures, but hardly will take the time to seek after eternal joys.

The old saying goes that something’s only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. So how much are you worth?

God showed how much you’re worth by sending his Son Jesus to die for you. That speak volumes about your worth. You are valued far more than any gold or silver or diamonds or bank accounts or lavish mansions. You are priceless.

So don’t ever settle for less. Don’t ever give yourself, your values, your beliefs, your body, your mind, or your health away. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you don’t belong or don’t matter. Don’t believe for a moment the lie that the world would be better off without you in it or that it would have been better off if you had never been born.

God saw you at your worst and thought you were worth every precious drop of his Son’s blood. All of it. He couldn’t pay high enough of a price for you. That’s how much you’re worth.

I’m certainly not claiming any originality for these thoughts. I heard them tonight from a pastor and I’m sure he heard them from someone else. I just want every single person who reads this to know that you are not worthless. You’re priceless.

 

Ansel Adams and Mixed-Up Values

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I went to an estate sale today, which would make the second estate sale I’ve been to in my life. I got some really good deals, one on an Ansel Adams coffee-table book.

A guy there told me the story about a lady who knew Ansel Adams personally and had several of his original prints. She had a yard sale one time and sold several of them for practically nothing. She basically gave them away.

It would be easy to look down on someone who does something like that. But if I’m honest, I do that everyday. I treasure those things that won’t last and I treat as worthless those things that are priceless.

Culture does the same. We are told to spend our lives pursuing things. We are told our happiness depends on more stuff, on things like titles after your name and having your name on the right list. After all, haven’t you heard the refrain “He who dies with the most toys wins”?

At the same time, we see the sacred profaned and the priceless treated as worthless. Young girls are told their bodies are meant for sex and if they really love someone, they won’t deny him. Young boys are told that sex is an act, nothing more, with no consequences.

We are selling our God-given birthrights for cheap. We sacrifice our integrity, our beliefs, and our convictions for a promotion or a better job, for a relationship, for a bigger house or better car. This society doesn’t put much value in a human soul.

God says that you are priceless. As one of my favorite illustrations goes, if the God who made you could pick you up and turn you upside down to show you where He signed you, then you would know your true worth.

You are worth more than a career. Or a relationship. Or a house. Or a car. You are infinitely valuable because God made you with His own hands and then redeemed you with His own blood. He thought you were worth dying for. Literally.

Sometimes, I honestly have a hard time believing I have value or meaning. The voices in the dark whisper to me that the world would be better off without me and that no one needs or wants me.

But if I listen, the Voice of Truth tells me a different story. It says that God knows my name and loves me and has plans for me beyond my wildest imaginations or dreams.

I hope you will listen to that same Voice that says good things about you and calls you Beloved. The One who says you were worth every bit of shame and pain and scars and blood spent for you on the Cross.