unwanted

Belonging

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“That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles. This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home” (Ephesians 2:19-22).

All of us have probably gone through times in our lives where we felt like we didn’t belong anywhere. Many of us have known what it’s like to feel unwanted and unloved (whether real or perceived).

Most of us have done and said stupid stuff- stuff we’d normally never even dream of saying or doing– in order to fit into a group. Nine out of ten times we found out that being in the group wasn’t worth the cost of wrecking our consciences.

Get this. In God’s Kingdom, you belong. I belong. We belong. Not because any of us are so great or special or wonderful, but because God wanted us to be there. Why? I can’t speak for any of you, but I have no idea why God wanted me, other than it gave Him pleasure for some mysterious reasons known only to Him.

That’s my motto for the evening. We belong. Of course, now I have that Pat Benatar song stuck in my head (one of the many perils of being a music nerd).

The best part of belonging in the kingdom of God is that there will never be a time where you and I no longer belong, where we are once again outcasts and misfits.

This belonging is forever.

 

That Mr. Irrelevant Again

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I watched some of the NFL draft today. It’s interesting to see who gets picked where and when and by whom. Plus, you get the joy of seeing the experts’ predictions blown up. You see people who stay up late at night worrying about these kinds of things prognosticating on how these players will either be a great pick or a bust.

As always, the very last pick, around number 256, of the very last round of the draft is called Mr. Irrelevant. Usually, players who don’t get picked up until that point don’t make the final roster of the NFL team that picked them.

I love the fact that no one is Mr. (or Mrs.) Irrelevant to God. God loves each person as if he or she were the only person in the whole world to love. And yet He loves every single person that way. I can’t fathom that, yet I’m nowhere close to being infinite. I can’t even love the very few (in comparison) people in my life with anything close to complete and unconditional love.

At times, other people may make you feel irrelevant. It may or may not be intentional, but the hurt is the same either way. You may feel that what you do and who you are don’t matter to anyone and that maybe the world would be better off without you in it. The feelings may not be true, but that doesn’t stop them from feeling real.

Try this. Read John 3:16. Where it says “the world,” insert your name. For me, it would go something like this, “For God so loved Greg, that He gave His one and only Son, that if Greg believes in Him, He shall not perish.”

Remember that Jesus thought you were to die for. You matter to Him immensely. That’s something to remember on those nights when you feel alone and unwanted.

 

My Exhausted Advent Prayer

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Note: I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my entire life. Working 136 hours in two weeks will do that to a person. Plus, I have some sort of allergy/sinus/cold crud that is extremely annoying.

I just finished watching A Charlie Brown Christmas again. As always, I loved it.

As always, I got a little emotional when Charlie Brown thinks he’s killed his little Christmas tree. He says, “Everything I touch gets ruined.”

Have you ever felt that way? Maybe about relationships? Careers? Hopes?

This Advent prayer is for you and me:

Lord, this season marks the anticipation of Your coming. We long for and look forward to Your arrival. We so need you.

Too often, we feel neglected, forgotten, left out and alone. We feel like the only ones that people can never make time for.

We long to matter to someone, to not always feel like the substitute people that others will be around only when the people they REALLY want to be with aren’t available.

It seems as though sometimes that people have given up on us, decided we weren’t worth the effort, and moved on. Only they neglected to tell us.

Be near us tonight. Remind us that Your coming is not far off now.

Remind us that Immanuel means “God is with you” and “God is with me.”

Immanuel means that You are near to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit. Those who have all but given up on people and who are so fearful of being let down and hurt yet again that they have shut down their hearts.

Let us feel you near. Let us hear You speak words of tender compassion in the day, sing songs of joy and delight over us in the night. Call us by our true names that only you and we know.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

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Blessed Are the Ignored

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“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty” (Mother Teresa).

Have you ever felt like you were being ignored?

Have you ever worked in an office where a co-worker made the point of chatting with everyone else but never with you?

Have you ever sent out a friend request on Facebook and not even gotten the dignity of a response?

Have you ever texted or messaged someone and it seemed like that person didn’t even feel you were worth bothering to respond to?

Have you ever felt that no guy or girl ever even saw you as a romantic possibility or even thought about you as anything other than a friend?

I read this week that to feel ignored is the worst feeling of all. I agree. It hits at one of our most vulnerable spots– the need to feel valued and appreciated as a human being.
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When someone ignores you, that person is essentially saying to you, “You don’t matter. You have no value.” It’s demeaning not only to that individual, but also to the God who created them (see Psalm 139).

Jesus knows exactly what that feels like. He stood before Jerusalem, weeping because they refused to turn to Him so that they could have true and eternal life.

Do you know something? There is never a moment that goes by where you are not on God’s mind. There is never a second where you are not on God’s heart and His eye is not on you.

Jesus would rather go through the hell of crucifixion and death for you than go to heaven without you. If you had been the only one, He still would have gone through all of the torture and pain because He thought you were worth it. And He still does. He still thinks you’re to die for.

Jesus’ love for you proves once and for all that you have worth and value. You matter. Whatever anyone else ever says or does to you will never negate the fact that your Abba loves you and is very fond of you. He has forever set His affection on you and nothing and no one can ever take it away.

Maybe you’re reading this and realize you’ve been guilty of ignoring someone, either consciously or otherwise. Maybe you’re feeling a tug at your heart compelling you to go to that person and make it right. Don’t let another day go by until you repent before God and restore that relationship.

Remember, God’s heart is still for the widow and the orphan, the outcast and the forgotten, those that society ignores. He still blesses those who bless them. In the Kingdom of God, everyone has a place. In God’s call, everyone is to hear the Good News; no one is ever to be left out.

I now understand that sometimes people are too overwhelmed by circumstances to see me. Sometimes, it’s all they can do to hold themselves together and not fall apart completely. The best thing you can do for someone who doesn’t acknowledge you is to pray God’s peace and healing over them. To pray they know in that very moment that God sees them in their pain and knows where they are.

God, you see us when no one else does and You’re with us when we feel most alone. Be with the ones feeling alone and may they feel You near in the moment of their greatest need. Amen.

Mr. Irrelevant

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Today, I watched the last few rounds of the NFL draft. I know for some of you that sounds as exciting as watching paint dry or grass grow. But it was an interesting experience, nonetheless.

There’s a new tradition where the last player picked in the draft is deemed Mr. Irrelevant and bestowed with many mock honors in a week-long celebration. I realize that it’s all in fun and not to be taken overly seriously, but it got me thinking.

Have you ever felt irrelevant? Like you don’t matter?

Have you ever been through the process of looking for a job and been to interview after interview, only to be told a variation of, “We’re sorry, but we’ve decided to go with another candidate”?

Have you been at home reading about all the fun exploits everybody else is posting about on facebook and felt uninvited and unwanted?

Did you know that the God of the Universe would have sent Jesus to the cross if you had been the only one who needed saving? Do you realize that God chose you not out of some cosmic sense of obligation, but because he actually and truly wanted you?

I have trouble believing it sometimes, but it’s true. I think Max Lucado said that Jesus would rather go through hell for me than go back to heaven without me. That means that I matter. That means that you matter.

Don’t ever let anybody make you feel like you’re unwanted. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you don’t matter. You’re wanted and you matter.

I may have already said something like this before, but I don’t care. I’ll keep repeating the same truths over and over until you and I both fully grasp that God is crazy in love with us and desires for us to know him more than anything.

So you see there really are no Mr. Irrelevants after all.

Immanuel: For All Those Times

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Immanuel is God with us, in the flesh, walking alongside of us, sharing our burdens and joys and sorrows, even now. The Kingdom of God isn’t just some faraway pie-in-the-sky somewhere-over-the-rainbow place for when we die, it’s the presence of God in our midst at this very moment.

For when you’re at a party and you feel alone in the crowd, unnoticed and unwanted, Jesus is there with you.

For when you’re interested in someone and just realized that they aren’t the least bit interested in you in the same way (and probably never will be), Jesus knows what you’re feeling.

For when you feel like you’re not that high up on anybody’s priority list and they’d probably rather be hanging out with their cooler, artsier friends than you, Jesus chose you because he wanted you, not because you were all that was left. He picked you.

For when you’re in a season of trial and your friends seem to be growing more distant and less friendly, Jesus is still the friend who sticks closer than a brother. You realize that they’re too busy dealing with their own pain to fully notice yours and know the same Jesus who is with you in your pain is with them in theirs.

For when you have a story to tell but no one is listening and no one seems to want to hear it at all, Jesus, the one who wrote your story and knows it by heart, is listening.

For when you’ve come to the absolute end of your rope and have completely run out of hope, Jesus is right in front of you, saying “Just take one more step toward me. Just give me the tiniest bit of what’s left of your faith, and I’ll get you through.”

For when you can’t tell the lies and fears from reality, when you know what you’re thinking isn’t true or even sane but think it anyway, Jesus is still the Life, the Truth, and the Way. He’s still your life, your ultimate truth, and the way for you to get back home.

You’ll find one day that you can be in a group and not have to have the attention all the time.

You’ll find one day that when that someone you’re interested in finds their true love, you can sincerely rejoice for them.

You’ll find one day that the place God brings you to was worth all he brought you through and you’d go through all of it again to be at this amazing new place.

You’ll find one day that you can’t hear the lies anymore and the fears disappear as you grow in God’s love and learn to hear his still small voice speaking to you.

Even then, he is still Immanuel. God with us. God with me. God with you.

Transitions

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I’m in career transition. That’s the politically correct way of saying I’m out of a job. It sounds much better than saying that I got tossed out on my lazy rear.

It’s hard when part of your life that took up so much of your time is now gone. It’s difficult when that routine you’ve gotten so used to is suddenly thrown out on its ear and you feel like you’re in free-fall.

According to Ephesians, those who have come to put their faith in Christ are in a transition of sorts. A life transition.

You who were once without a hope in the world now have an eternal, imperishable Hope that will never fade or fail.

You who were once strangers and outcasts that nobody wanted are now adopted sons and daughters of the King of the Universe and heirs to Heaven.

You were once captives and slaves to your addictions and bad habits and fears are now free to finally and truly be yourselves.

You who felt worthless and without value now know that you are priceless in your Abba’s eyes and that not even the life of His own Son was too high a price to pay for you.

I know what it’s like to feel unwanted and unloveable. I know what it’s like to feel that you don’t matter to anybody and that nobody would miss you or even notice if one day you were gone.

I also know what it’s like to finally believe what Jesus says about me and to begin to live it out. To have people speak life and healing into me on a daily basis and be able to do the same in return.

The best part of the transition is that in God’s eyes, you are already there. You are already holy and perfect and blameless. He sees you as His masterpiece and loves you like you had never messed up to begin with.

Remember that it’s a process and sometimes you won’t feel like it’s working, but it is.

Remember that no matter what, you are still your Abba’s child and He is still very, very fond of you.