trust

Keep Calm and Keep Believing

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We’ve all royally messed up when it comes to relationships. Maybe you’ve lost only a few friends along the way or maybe you feel like you’ve run everyone away. Either way it never gets easier when someone finally gives up on you.

It’s easy to become resentful and bitter, but in the long run forgiveness feels better than being weighed down by all that anger. So choose to forgive, not because the other person deserves it but because you need it.

Only forgiven people can forgive and only those whom God has forgiven can really and truly forgive those who have hurt them.

Of course forgiveness doesn’t mean automatic restoration of trust. That has to be earned. Some relationships will never be like they were before. But still forgiveness is always right and always good and always worth it.

I recommend eating something chocolatey after forgiving someone. It helps. Sorta like eating chocolate after fighting off a dementor. Yes, I just went Harry Potter on you.

You forgive because you know you fail. You know you will inevitably need forgiveness yourself from just about everyone you know. It happens. Treat others like you would like to be treated when you deserve rejection but find mercy instead.

Don’t forget the chocolate.

Where My Trust Is Without Borders

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I think I’ve alluded to this in previous posts, but I am currently unemployed. I haven’t worked since January. There have been times, some of them very recently, when I wondered how I was going to pay my bills. That’s a scary place to be.

Then I sang a song during the 11:11 worship service at Brentwood Baptist Church. It spoke of keeping my eyes above the waves and walking out on the water to wherever God calls me to where my trust is without borders.

I honestly never thought until just now that that’s where I am. When you utterly reach the end of your resources, you find out where your faith and trust lie. You really understand that old cliched saying about never knowing how much you need God until He’s all you’ve got left.

So many can’t find jobs. So many probably have felt worthless and useless and unemployable. Like no one wants or needs what they have to offer.

But as I sang those words, a sweet peace came over me. My faith will be made stronger and I will know more deeply than ever how near my Savior is to those who cry out to Him in desperation. As weird as it sounds, the butterflies are still there. My stomach still feels tied up in knots. But I also know it will be okay in the end. No, more than okay. I will end up EXACTLY where God wants me to be and all this will totally have been worth it to get there.

So as much as I sound like a broken record, I’m still thankful for my life. I’m grateful for waking up this morning and living another 24 hours. I’m thankful for the best family and friends a guy could ever ask for who have stuck with me through good and bad, thick and thin (and through all sorts of other overused phrases like these).

Sometimes, faith really is believing when common sense tells you not to. It may not always look courageous. Sometimes, it may look like barely holding it together and summoning every ounce of strength to not quit on God. It may be praying the most honest prayer ever recorded in history: “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief” and making it through the next five minutes.

All I know is that I have never seen God forsaking His own. I have never seen their families abandoned or left wanting (my paraphrase of a Proverb). I haven’t seen God fail me or let me down or let go of me.

I do still believe, Lord. Help my unbelief. Amen.

Those Times

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I’ve been living my miracle. I’ve been counting my blessings and finding joy in the everyday minutiae of life. But sometimes . . . .

You know the feeling. It happens when you’re tired or hungry or by yourself– or all three. 

You feel like your friends will all eventually abandon you. Little things, like someone not responding to a text or someone else who usually liked and commented on your posts not having done so for a few days, seem like proof that you’re not really wanted or desired.

You find it’s much easier to wallow in that old mire of self-pity and entitlement than to fight for the joy and to consciously bring to mind the blessings. Sometimes it does feel good (but not in a good way) to feel sorry for yourself and believe that no one truly understands or cares about you. Lies are sometimes easier to believe and more comforting than the truth. Well, most of the time.

It’s at those times when you want to lean on what you’re feeling as a gauge for how you’re doing. It’s times when you want to use your understanding as a crutch for figuring out your life at that particular moment.

But just remember this familiar verse:

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“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding [or feelings]. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6. Amplified)

I added that part about feelings, in case you wondered. But it’s implied in the Hebrew. 

Trust God, not in how you feel or what you think. Those things (thoughts and feelings) aren’t always trustworthy. But God is.

And I know from experience your friends aren’t nearly as ready to abandon you as you think they are. Sometimes, they just get caught up in life, their own pain, crazy work or school, etc. They haven’t forgotten or left you.

Remember even if one or two has left you, God never will. He’s promised with an oath as sure as Himself to be with you, no matter what, not only up to the end, but beyond.

That should help you get past those times.

 

Raise Your Hand: A Blog About Relationships

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Ok. Informal survey. See if any of these scenarios fit you. Here goes.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been interested in someone and gone to the place where he or she works or hangs out in the hopes of “accidentally” running into him or her? And technically, that’s not stalking. It’s only stalking when you know for sure that person will be there.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever posted something on facebook in hopes that a certain someone would read it. Because that always works. Not. Of course, I’ve NEVER done anything REMOTELY like that. I’ve NEVER found out the hard way how completely futile that is.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever judged the health of a relationship based on how many times the other person likes or comments on your statuses and posts on facebook. Yeah, I seem kinda hung up on the whole facebook thing, but play along with me. Maybe you see the absence of response to your posts and texts as a lack of interest on the other’s part, or even an indicator that that person is upset with you or doesn’t like you. Again, I can say that I’ve never . . . . ok, I’ve been there, done that, thrown the pity party. Now I take pills and I do much better.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever obsessed over the next time you might see that certain someone and rehearsed in your mind what you would say to them. You even got the script down perfect. The only problem is that real life never follows those rehearsed scenarios and real people tend not to want to stick to your script.

What little I know about relationships is this: there are no perfect relationships because there are no perfect people. You can’t make any one person your life or build your future on the hopes of a relationship. To put another person on that kind of pedestal is to put that person in the place of God and put a burden on them that they were never meant to bear.

So I’ve learned to trust God. And pray a lot. And take deep breaths. And not freak out. The other person most likely is just as scared and intimidated and nervous and self-conscious as you are. They just have different ways of showing (or hiding) those things.

By the way, I bet you feel pretty silly sitting in front of your computer all by yourself with your hand raised in the air. You can put it down now.

Hope

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“Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies” (from Shawshank Redemption).

I love The Shawshank Redemption. Especially the last 15 minutes. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but I will say that you find out that appearances can be very deceiving.

The line about hope is one of the best lines in the movie, and there are plenty of good ones. I think the apostle Paul said something similar when he wrote, “This doesn’t mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys—we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us” (Romans 5:3-4).

I want a hope that never dies. I need a hope that doesn’t disappoint.

I’ve put my hopes in things that certainly let me down, like relationships or jobs or even sports teams. I fully know what it’s like to be disappointed when a friendship doesn’t go the way you wanted, or a job you banked on comes to an end, or that team you wanted so badly to win loses.

But I’ve found when my hope is squarely set on God, I’m never disappointed. Ever. I’ve never been let down. Not even once. I haven’t always understood the paths he’s led me down, but I’ve always known the destination would be worth it.

God is a sure thing. Though heaven and earth pass away, his word will remain. That’s something you can hope in. And you and I both need something we can hold on to and hope in in these very uncertain times.

I’m praying you find this hope to be better than you ever thought it could be and the God of hope more faithful and true than you ever dreamed he could be,

Live Naked

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I need to preface this blog by emphatically stating that by “live naked,” I so do not mean join a nudist colony or walk around all day in your birthday suit. If you do, we will disavow all knowledge and pretend you don’t exist. This blog will self-destruct in 15 seconds. . . .

For real, I do think that we need to live naked. By that, I mean live transparently and honestly. You will always be a second-rate version of someone else, but a first-rate version of you, because God made you to be you, only you, and no one else.

That means you don’t have to force yourself to believe that everything is fine when it’s not. You can honestly admit that you’re having a bad day, that your brokenness is showing, and that you feel completely inadequate to handle what the day is throwing at you.

To like naked is to live a life that is 100% 24/7 completely and utterly dependent on God for every single moment and every single thing. You know you need God in the next moment to avoid a full-on falling apart mental and emotional meltdown. You need all of God’s strength to hold you together and you need all of his love to keep you sane.

To live naked is to live trusting without understanding, following without knowing the way, and believing without having all (or even most) of the answers.

That’s how I am choosing to live each day. That’s how I pray you choose to live. Because believers aren’t perfect, but forgiven. If anything, those who have given up everything to follow Jesus know that Jesus is all they have and that Jesus is all they need.

It’s a battle to trust when your emotions and thoughts are screaming at you that God won’t come through. It’s a lifelong struggle, but it’s so much more than worthwhile.

May we live naked starting today and every day.

Not-so-new Thoughts on Newtown, CT

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“No parent should ever have to bury a child.”

That’s the line from the movie The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers that King Theoden uses when he talks about the death of his only son, the one that was to be king after him.

I’ve thought a lot about that line today, especially after hearing and reading so much about the senseless killings of at least 20 children and 6 adults in Newtown, Connecticut. I have no way to comprehend the level of sadness and grief that so many people are feeling right now, and I’m not going to pretend that I understand what they’re going through.

I know that no discussion about limiting handguns or locking school doors will ever bring these children back. This is so much more than political issues; we’re talking about human lives lost. Each one had a family who loved him or her and each one is deeply missed.

I’m reminded of another massacre. This one happened after the birth of Jesus, when Herod sent soldiers to the town of Bethlehem to kill all the male children under the age of two. Matthew says (quoting Jeremiah), “A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more” (Matt. 2:18).

Again, I can’t begin to imagine what that must have been like.

Most of all, I am reminded that God himself watched as people took his only son and falsely accused him, beat him, mocked him, mutilated him, then killed him in the most excruciatingly painful manner possible. Even though Jesus’s death was ordained from the foundation of the world, it doesn’t change the fact that the Father’s heart was broken that day.

I think the Father weeps with all those who weep tonight. He sees his creation and his people broken and in disarray. He sees evil acts perpetrated by sick minds and his heart is broken.

I don’t pretend to have any answers. I don’t pretend to know why this happened or what the purpose was behind it. I do know that even in this, God works all things together for good to those who love him and are called according to his purposes.

I know that God is good and that he is in control. Still. And in that I put my hopes and I lay my head down to rest tonight.

I pray for peace right now in the hearts of all who are grieving and who cannot be comforted, for their children are no more. I pray for peace for the children who lost parents and teachers tonight, as well as the family of the mentally ill man who killed all these children before killing himself (who are probably in shock and grief as well right now). May you be present in these broken homes and lives right now. And may you set all things right one day very soon.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Little Victories

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

Sometimes, we make Christianity an “all or nothing” affair. That means if I don’t completely succeed, I’ve failed. If I don’t completely overcome every temptation and obey the voice of God at every turn, I’ve lost.

But I think that’s not how it works. Most days are three steps forward, two steps back. Most days, you win some and you lose some, but you always learn something from it.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to be thankful for the little victories. Sometimes, those are the only things that keep you going when the battle seems hopeless and life seems too hard.

I found today that it was okay that someone I wanted to notice me didn’t. A conversation I wanted to happen didn’t and I was more than okay with it. I was fine.

I didn’t try to force something that wasn’t there. I stepped back and trusted God. I count that as a little victory.

It’s when you don’t give into fear. When you don’t let anxiety overwhelm you. When you’re able to take a couple of deep breaths and plow through. You may not look so pretty at the end of the day, but you’re alive and standing. And in my book that counts as a victory.

So here’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up when you’re not at your best or when you mess up yet again. Remember that God really is bigger than the problems you’re facing. Remember his plans for you are still good and still in operation.

Remember all the little victories you’ve experienced over the years. Also remember that the biggest victory of the biggest fight you will ever face is already won. How do I know? Because Jesus has already won it.

 

 

A Tough Question

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Usually when I’m thinking of what to write about, it’s not the main topic of the sermon or speech. It’s a side comment or a throwaway statement that catches me off guard. Tonight, it was a question that a guy asked that convicted me in a big way.

If God took away your family, friends, possessions, job, money, and all those other props and crutches you lean on, would you still be able to say, “God, I trust in you for my future” or would your mind immediately start churning away with ideas of how you could manage your own life?

The reason the question broad-sided me so much was the underlying question: who are what are you really trusting in at the end of the day? Where does your hope lie?

I think that for me at times my trust has been in a set routine. I have trusted in the fact that I had a comfortable and familiar set of friends who would always be around. I have trusted in income from a job or the security of employment that I thought was guaranteed.

When your props get knocked out, when friends move away or get married or disappear, you find out how much your trust was really in people and not in God. When out of the blue, you get called into the office at work to be told, “Your position is being eliminated,” you find out how much faith you placed in your career instead of Christ.

I truly believe in my mind that if all God did was save me from my sins and never gave me another blessing or did one more thing for me, that would be more than I deserved. But the way I live sometimes gives the impression that I feel entitled to God’s blessings. It shows that I am worshiping the gifts more than the Giver.

I heard a friend say that sometimes you don’t even have to have perfect trust. Even if you have the weakest kind of faith and say, “God, I trust you in this moment and I give this into your hands,” God will honor that. Like a pastor said, “All God needs is a place to start,” a halting, stammering statement of belief that is mixed with fear and doubt and says, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”

It’s not how strong your faith is, but how strong the object of your faith is. Or to put it this way, it’s not about giant-sized faith, but one that;s the size of a mustard seed placed in a great God who is bigger than your circumstances and problems.

 

 

Fish & Chips & The Promises of God

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I was driving home from McCreary’s Irish Pub (one of my favorite places to eat in the world in case you’ve been living under a rock for the last year or so and weren’t aware). It was cool, almost fall-ish weather, and I had my windows rolled down listening to some old school dc talk ’cause I rock it like that.

I was thinking of the amazing fish and chips I just ate and reminiscing on a good sermon I just heard about the promises of God. Like the one Jesus spoke at the end of Matthew about how He would be with us always, to the very end.

It won’t always feel that way. God won’t always feel present. In fact, God will feel a million miles away sometimes. But I’ve learned that while feelings lie, God doesn’t. And He promised He wouldn’t leave or forsake you. Or me.

I have a lot of uncertainties in my life, like if I will ever get married or not (or just have a dating relationship), but I know at least one thing for certain. I can’t go where God’s not there. I can’t go where God’s not already waiting on me.

I plan on breaking out my running shoes tomorrow and doing a bit of jogging. I estimate it will take me 7 straight hours of jogging to run off the meal I had tonight, but it was so worth it.

I may not feel God near, because a lot of things can numb my ability to sense Him. Like unconfessed sins or addictions or uncaptured thoughts. But God is always near because He says He would be.

Faith has to be bigger than feelings or intuitions or sometimes even common sense. Faith is believing when common sense sometimes tell you not to. Faith is believing that God said it and that settles it. He doesn’t need my agreement for it to be so.

By the way, if you’re ever in historic downtown Franklin for any reason, check out McCreary’s Irish Pub. You won’t be disappointed.