texting

Alone But Not Lonely

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I was literally sitting in the dark on the upstairs patio at Frothy Monkey. One friend has been AWOL from my life for a while now, another moved to Cookeville today, and yet another was instagramming about how much fun she was having with friends listening to music at Franklin Mercantile just down the street.

And I sat alone in the dark.

And I was okay with it.

Sometimes, it’s good to be alone. In fact, it’s more than good. It’s necessary. You can never really effectively be present in a crowd if you can never be alone. You only hear your true name and your true identity in those times of aloneness.

It took me embracing those times of being alone to hear that I am my Abba’s beloved and to know that I belong to Him and He is very pleased with me.

I tried to message my friend to find out if she was still in the area and got no response. So I walked over to the Franklin Mercantile only to find I had missed everything. The crowd, including my friend, was gone.

I was still okay.

That used to be a recurring nightmare of mine. I’d find my friends had all left me suddenly or that I was just a step or a second too slow and would just miss them.

But tonight, I knew I wasn’t alone. Those Strong Arms that hold me up in the day and in the crowded places are just as able to carry me through the dark places where I am alone.

You can only hear your Abba singing over you when you’re alone. You can never truly appreciate God as a refuge and stronghold and place of rest in a crowd, but in those times when no one else is around.

I pray you can embrace being alone as much as you cherish being with family and friends. May you learn to love the dark, for that is where your Father will whisper precious promises to you that you will come to cherish more dearly than anything you can find at any other time.

The Final Exam of Life

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finalexam

If there is a final exam at the end of my life (and I seriously hope there’s not one because I haven’t studied in a very long time), I like to think there would be one question. I think of all the questions God could ask, it will not be these:

“DId you read your Bible enough?’

“Did you tithe enough and support enough missionaries and causes?”

“Did you have the correct theological beliefs and vote for the person who toted the biggest Bible?”

None of these. One question will be on that final and it will be this:

“Did you love well?”

Did you love those people in your everyday life? Did you take time to speak to those in your office or classroom? Did you give friendly smile to people who passed you on the street? For all your talk of how much you love God, did people see it lived out in you toward those who needed it?

Love is about saying to someone, “I see you when nobody else does. I hear you when no one else will listen. I will do whatever I can to help you become the person you always wanted to be.”

That kind of love is the love God has toward us.

The problem is that we have too many likes and not enough love. We have too many Facebook friends and not enough real relationships. Our vision gets narrow and we miss the people around us who will go through an entire day without anyone speaking to them or acknowledging them.

I will say this.

It is not okay to ignore someone who speaks to you or texts you or messages you.

It is not okay to get up and move when someone sits down at your table just because you don’t feel like talking to them.

It is not okay to defriend someone or cut them off as punishment, especially if that person never knows what they did wrong.

It is not okay to be friendly to everyone in your office or class and single out one person to not talk to.

Remember, each person bears the image of God, distorted as it may be though sin. Each person is a uniquely valuable creation that God made and Jesus died for. To treat anyone less is to treat what God made and what Jesus died for with disdain. You can’t love God if you don’t love His people. All of them.

Even further, what you did to the least of these– regardless of whether they live in a third world country or next door, whether they dress in rags or tailor-made three piece suits, you do to Jesus.

I want to live my life so that at the end I can say I loved well as I was loved well by Jesus. I will never love perfectly, but I will never stop trying. I may lose my way from time to time, but God’s love will always gently guide me back to His heart for His people.

May we all find that love and live that love. May God’s heart for people be ours. And when that final question on that final exam comes, I’m praying we will not only know the answer in theory, but will have lived it out so that our lives are an essay and a testimony to how good God’s love is.

Texting, Dating, and the Lordship of Jesus Christ

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OK. Calm down. This isn’t any hellfire-and-brimstone blog. Don’t get your boxers in a bunch. Or panties. I just have some thoughts I’d like to share.

Have syou been pursued romantically by someone lately? How did you go about deciding if said someone was right for you? Did you go by gut intuition? Cues? Feelings? How about this one? Did you pray about it?

By praying about it, I mean did you earnestly seek  God’s will? Were you willing to submit to whatever Jesus told you? After all, if Jesus is Lord of your life at all, then He’s Lord of every aspect of your life, including your relationships, including who you do and don’t go out with.

Another question: have you been romantically interested in someone? In the course of pursing or being pursued by that person, did you ask Jesus’ permission? How can you possibly hope to find God’s mate for you if you’re not seeking His will over each and every potential dating relationship?

It goes without saying (but still needs to be said) that if you’re dating with the intent of possibly marrying this person, then you want to know God’s will on the matter and be willing to submit to it.

I’m not trying to be a killjoy. I just don’t want you to find out six months into the relationship that you’re dating the wrong guy or girl or that you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t work or where you end up with someone who doesn’t share your dreams and passions and (worst of all) faith.

In a totally unrelated matter, I’m still not sure what to make of this whole texting thing. Have you ever texted someone and gotten no response? If your phone is like mine, then it shows that the person read your message but chose not to respond. It’s almost like if you came up to me and asked me a question and I nodded like I heard you but instead of answering, I just stared at you. That would be creepy.

This is my take and I only expect myself to do this. I ALWAYS respond to EVERY text. I think it’s common courtesy. Good manners. I know if you’re one of those people who gets inundated with texts, it’s hard, but doing the right thing isn’t always easy. And I do understand that people lead busy lives and can’t always whip out their phones and text back, but hopefully within 48 hours you have some down time to respond back.

As far as relationships are concerned, when there are misunderstandings, it’s easy to find fault with the other person. Sometimes you need to do two things: 1) look in the mirror and make sure you’re not looking at a speck in the other person’s eye through a log in your own eye. 2) Sometimes you need to be the bigger person in the relationship and make the move toward making the relationship right again. For the sake of the relationship, it’s not as important to be right in your own eyes as it is to be reconciled.

There. I do these soapbox blogs periodically, so you’re off the hook probably until sometime in the fall. Or if I have a really good summer, maybe next winter.

It’s Time To Play “Name That Fear”

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I have an image in my mind of that old TV game show where the contestants were constantly yelling, “Big bucks! Big bucks! No whammies!”

It’s time for me to name one of my fears, that big ol’ ugly whammy that has always gotten to me– the fear of abandonment.

I’m putting this out there so that 1) it will lose its power over me and 2) so that you can be brave enough to name your own fear and diminish its power over you. So here goes.

My fear is the fear of abandonment. I’m afraid that you will get to know me and then decide that I’m not worth the effort, that I’m really too messed up for you to deal with, and you will go away.

I go through long stretches where I am good and that fear isn’t a problem. But then someone won’t respond to a text or will stop commenting on and liking my facebook posts and that old fear creeps up. That voice says, “See? They’ve given up on you” or “They’re gradually pulling away from you and pretty soon won’t have anything to do with you.”

Or maybe I’m at a social event and a friend isn’t as friendly as usual and I wonder if I’ve done or said something to offend them. I fantasize in my mind how they’re really angry with me and are just waiting for the right moment to tell me where I can go and what I can do with myself (putting it nicely). I’ve actually played out those scenarios to the point where I’ve thought a friendship was over when it wasn’t even close to being over.

Sometimes you can recognize a lie and believe it anyway because it’s familiar. It’s all you’ve known and lived with your whole life. But when you name it and where it came from, it loses its power over you.

So, I name that fear of abandonment from the pit of hell and I claim the blood of Jesus over it right now. I receive my status as the beloved of God, chosen by Jesus.

Now if I could just hit some of those big bucks. . .

Angry Birds, Fruit Ninjas, and Talking Tom Cats

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I have discovered the world of iPhone apps and may have gone a little overboard. Among my most recent discoveries were Fruit Ninjas and Angry Birds.

I can deal with Fruit Ninjas. It’s an easy concept that doesn’t require too much brain activity. Slicing fruit with a ninja sward? It’s a simple yet brilliant concept that kinda has me jonesing for a fruit smoothie right about now. Angry birds is another story.

Let’s just say that when you play the latter game, you feel like giving them the bird in more ways than just catapulting the little feathered fiends toward their little piggy targets. And boys howdy, those are some mean-lookin’ pigs.

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I think it’s time to take a step back and not get carried away about a game where you catapult birds at pigs. So what if the game is rigged? It’s still not worth losing sleep over. The world won’t end because that one little piggy is left standing.

That’s where the Talking Tom app comes in. It’s my favorite. All you do is say something and the little tom cat repeats it. You can even rub his belly and make him purr. Or buy him hats and t-shirts. It’s really up to you.

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As much as I love new technology (or at least new-to-me technology), it’s helpful to keep it in proper perspective. People still come first. When social media trumps personal interaction, there’s a problem. I’ll still take face-to-face conversations over texting any day. Even over skyping.

And there’s still the little matter of manners. As old-fashioned and antiquated as that sounds, manners still count even when it comes to social media. It’s simply being considerate and treating others how you would like to be treated, regardless of what medium you’re using.

So put down that phone and talk to the person you’re with. That text can wait, but that person won’t always be there.

 

 

Baggage Part I: Letting Go

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Who doesn’t have baggage? I certainly know I do. I’m pretty sure anyone who is over the age of 5 and who still has a pulse has accumulated some kind of baggage over the years.

What is my baggage? Probably right now, I’m carrying around the constant need to be validated, affirmed, approved, and liked every single moment.

I find myself at the end of conversations thinking I’ve said or texted the absolute wrong thing and ruined the relationship. Things like, “Did I really just end the conversation with ‘Text me’? Is it even possible for there to be a lamer ending to a conversation?”

I think I let go of a little bit of my baggage tonight. I think I’ve finally come to the point where I may not trust myself to keep my relationships alive, but I know that God will keep the right people in my life for as long as they need to be there.

I’ve mentioned before that I am a work in progress. I’m 4o and my dating history reads like a black comedy or a tragedy (either one works, so take your pick). I haven’t had a real girlfriend since I was 5 (her name was Carrie, by the way).

I think I’m more comfortable with my own path and not trying to hijack God’s plan for someone else. I’m learning to enjoy the process and the journey and not be so OCD about the destination.

I think I’m learning that I don’t have to be clever or witty (or even overly coherent) for God to speak through me.

I’m finally learning to be patient with my own process and who I am becoming. I’m more patient with the shortcomings of others, because I’ve seen so much of my own and I’ve seen how very strong God can be in my weakness.

What is your baggage? You have a choice. You can either hold on to your shame and guilt and fear and anger or you can hold onto Jesus, but you can’t hold on to both. And yes, I borrowed that one from Mike Glenn.

You don’t have to carry that baggage forever. You don’t have to let it define you or be a pemanent part of your wardrobe. It all begins with saying, “I can’t do this anymore. I need you, Jesus, to take this and carry it for me.” It may be a process, but it’s so much fun to feel the weight fall off.

May you find that what you’ve carried all this time is one day no longer a part of you. May you find more and more freedom in Christ. May you hear and believe the words at this very moment that “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Amen.