spirituality

Seeing With New Eyes

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I had a flashback to an old memory. Actually, it was less of a flashback and more of a memory of my mother telling me about it.

When I was 4 or so, I had the notion to pour Comet Cleanser on my head. It seemed like a fine idea at the time to my 4-year old mind. That is, until it got into my eyes.

I don’t remember any of this, but apparently I burned or damaged my retinas pretty severely. I had to stay in a dark room away from bright lights and have drops in my eyes every four hours. According to the story, there was some doubt as to whether my retinas would grow back.

They did.

I don’t know what triggered that memory. I do know that I’ve had experiences that have caused me to look at myself and others through new eyes.

Like tonight. The teacher at Kairos spoke about the tale of the Good Samaritan. Only he said that Jesus taught the parable to show us not that we’re the Samaritan who helps others, but the badly beaten, naked man lying in a ditch on the side of the road, desperate for help.

Maybe you’ve thought to yourself, “Hey, I’m a nice person. I try to help others and do the right thing most of the time.”

But if you’re honest you look at your life and you see deception and manipulation. You see those times when you failed and didn’t do the right thing. You know that if people could read your mind and see some of the thoughts you have in the dark of night, they wouldn’t think you were so nice.

The fact is that we’re all in need of rescue. We’re not as noble or kind or brave as we thought we were. We’re not nearly as able to help ourselves.

But Jesus is so much stronger than we ever knew. He’s so much more than able to reach down and rescue us from the messes we fall into. He’s able to change us into loving people who don’t do kind things as much as they exude kindness. It’s his love inside us by which we love others who aren’t lovable.

I know even after more than three decades of being a Christian, I need Jesus every bit as much now as I did when I first believed. The only thing that’s changed is that I see so much more clearly how good and great he is, how much he loves me, and how committed he is to me.

I haven’t had any more eye emergencies since. Hopefully, I’m smart enough now not to pour household cleaners on my head. Lesson learned.

 

My Break From Facebook Update

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It’s been 5 days since I last logged on to facebook. That may not sound like much to some of you, but for me, it’s a big deal. I’ve been known to check in multiple times during the day, mostly to see who liked or responded to one of my posts. Not like in the past, where I lived or died by who liked my status updates, but I still like to see who’s keeping up with me.

I catch myself starting to go to the website out of habit and divert myself to msn.com or espn.com. You don’t realize how addicting something is until you go cold-turkey from it.

I find that I am less anxious for the most part. The only thing I worry about is the notion that when I get back to facebook after Easter, that I will have far fewer friends than I did before I took a break from it/gave it up for Lent/took an extended cyber-holiday (pick any of the three).

I’m committed to seeing this though. I’m committed to using the time I normally spend on facebook to spend time with God in his word and in prayer. If you ask, “How’s that workin’ out for ya so far?” I say, “Up to this point, not so much.”

I remember what a pastor said. Fasting is giving something up to in essence say no to its demands on you, because no one and nothing has the right to make demands on your life other than God. I’m not calling this a fast, but I am recognizing that facebook does tend to dominate my thoughts more than it should and periodically, it’s good to step away to regain proper perspective and right thinking.

I feel at the moment like the runner who’s a mile or two into a marathon and thinks that there’s no way in the world he’ll finish. I don’t know how I can possibly hold out for the next few weeks. But if I take it one day at a time, one mile at a time, one step at a time, it doesn’t seem so hard anymore. Kind of like most things in life.

So pray for me that I put the new-found free time to better use. Pray that I am open to what God has to say to me during this time and the humility and bravery to not only listen to what he says, but to put it into practice.

I’ll keep you updated periodically as to how I’m doing with this. In the mean time, may you find freedom in giving up those things you thought you couldn’t live without to find more of abundant Life.

 

Not Alone

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Have you ever looked at somebody else who seems to have it all together and been a little envious? Maybe it’s a guy with the classic good looks who has a successful career and always seems to have a beautiful girl on his arm. Or maybe a girl who never seems to have any problems and is the one that every guy wants to talk to.

Admit it. You’ve envied. You’ve coveted. You’ve probably wanted to trade places or, if you’re feeling really spiteful, you hope something bad happens to that person. Not tragically bad, but embarassingly bad.

But have you ever stopped and wondered what really goes on in that person’s life? Do you ever stop to think that maybe behind that perfect facade, that person is hurting. Maybe that person is looking at you and envying you for something he or she doesn’t have.

The point is that you never know the whole story. You only see the surface, not what’s underneath. You may never see the pain, the frustration, the unfulfilled longings, the pent-up anger, the quiet desperation.

Maybe that person is you. Maybe you’re the one who’s hanging by a thread to your faith, who has all but given up on believing that anything will really ever change. Maybe you just don’t feel anything anymore and don’t think God really knows or cares about you.

You’re not alone.

I know when I’ve been deeply discouraged, the words “I know what you’re going through” were more helpful to me than the person speaking them realized. I didn’t want to hear that everything was going to be fine. I didn’t need to hear what I needed to do to get over it. I just needed to know that I wasn’t alone in my struggle.

The biggest lie of the enemy is that you are the only one struggling and that you can never tell anyone, but most go on secretly bearing your pain and shame. The truth is that we are all broken in some way, dealing with a shameful past full of secrets and a pain that never seems to go away. Some are just better at hiding their brokenness than others.

So, even though you might not want to hear it at the moment, it will get better. It did for me. God does know where you are and what you’re going through and yes, he does care. He even loves you in spite of the dark bitter thoughts you carry in your mind.

And you are most definitely not alone.

 

Some Things I Found While Randomly Surfing the Net

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“Keep a clear eye toward life’s end. Do not forget your purpose and destiny as God’s Creature. What you are in His sight is what you are and nothing more. Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take nothing you have received . . . but only what you have given; a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage” (St Francis of Assisi).

I still can’t help thinking about the Ash Wednesday Mass at St Philip’s that I attended Wednesday. I’d like to say that I was brave enough to go down front and receive the ashes and the sacraments, but I wasn’t. I stayed in the very back and observed everyone else going forward, but I couldn’t make myself go. Even though I didn’t know another living soul there, I could have gone, but I chickened out.
It was still a beautiful service. To have the visible reminder of just how serious sin and its consequences are on your forehead is to remember the terrible price it took to pay for that sin. To receive the sacraments is to remember that it took a broken body and shed blood for that sin to be paid for.
I know I’ve sinned in the area of things left undone. I’ve sinned by listening more to my fear than to my faith. I’ve been more concerned about pleasing those around me than pleasing God. I’ve sat down when I should have stood up and walked.
But I also know that I’m forgiven. What I deserved, death and hell, fell on Jesus, and what I didn’t deserve, life to the fullest and grace overflowing, came to me and those like me. All I can do is be thankful and show that same grace to others who need it, too.
Since this is Valentines Day, a.k.a Single Awareness Day, I’m throwing in some wise words from a woman who epitomized grace and style. These are wise words to live by:

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run her fingers through it once a day. For poise, know that you never walk alone” (Audrey Hepburn)

Sanctuary

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I love old churches.

There’s one I particularly love in downtown Franklin. It’s an old Espiscopal church that dates back prior to the Civil War, and every time I step inside I feel like I’ve been transported to a vanished age. One where life was a lot less fast-paced and complicated.

A sanctuary is a place of safety and peace. It’s also a place where God comes and takes up residence.

The Apostle Paul said that believers are the temple of God. That means that you and I are the place where God dwells, where people come to meet God and to find peace.

I love that.

In a world filled with violence and unrest, people are desperately searching for calm. Where there’s so much upheaval and turmoil and chaos, people are looking for rest.

We as believers should be that place of calm and rest. People should see our lives and be drawn to our light. They should see God in us and the difference he makes in the way we respond to the storms and turmoil in our own lives.

That means that when those storms come, we know that God isn’t vaguely out there somewhere beyond the clouds. He’s not trapped in a building with a steeple or locked away behind  ornate church doors. He’s in us, with us, and for us.

We can know the peace of having the same Jesus who calmed the storms with a word of his mouth living in us. That same Jesus that overcame death and hell.

I’m thankful for sanctuary. I’m thankful that God has come to make his home in me and in all those who cling to Jesus as Lord and Savior. I know that means that I should be different than those around me, so they will be drawn to the God inside.

Lord, help me to love others as much as you loved me, and to show them the way to You the way you once showed me.

Amen.

 

 

Forgiveness

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I remember reading somewhere that forgiveness is opening the door to the prison cell to set the prisoner free, only to discover that it was you locked inside all along. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

Note that I did not say that forgiveness is an easy thing. It is not. People you love have and will hurt you deeply, so much that you feel like your wounds will never heal.

Still the choice to forgive is the best one. Forgiveness releases that person’s hold over you and releases you from the slow death of bitterness and anger. Forgiveness means relinquishing the right to expect the person to ever make it right and realizing that only God can truly ever make it right.

I choose to forgive because I know I need it. When I was most in need of forgiveness and least deserving of it, I received it in abundance, more than I ever dreamed possible. Jesus didn’t forgive me in a miserly way, but prodigally and scandalously.

I’m called to forgive others the way Jesus forgave me. In the prayer Jesus taught us to pray, it says “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” That says to me that God will forgive us as much or little as we forgive others.

I know that forgiveness is hard. Humanly speaking, it’s impossible. “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” In other words, true forgiveness only comes from the heart of God. I don’t have it in myself. I can only ask God to open and enlarge my heart to receive God’s forgiveness. Then, as if pouring the ocean into a thimble, that forgiveness flows out and spills on to every person near me.

So, I choose by the power of the risen Christ and with the forgiveness I myself have received to forgive others. I choose not to be a victim or to be bound to my pain, carrying it around like a twisted trophy or adornment. I choose to be free and to set the other person free to receive forgiveness.

I love how Henri Nouwen speaks of forgiveness: “Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.” (Henri Nouwen)

A Smorgasbord of Thoughts

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I went to Golden Corral once. It was overwhelming. For the uninformed, Golden Corral is a buffet-style restaurant with every imaginable kind of food you could possibly want. You can have sample a little bit of a lot of different kinds of foods (and even fill your plate with nothing but greasy fried foods if that’s your heart’s desire). It’s up to you.

That’s how my thoughts are tonight. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, and they don’t necessarily go together. And you might or might not need some Tums tablets after reading them. But here they are.

1 John 4:7 says that God is love. Not the mushy, touchy-feely kind of love that gets pushed around in books and movies. Not the needy, grabby kind that is just lust in disguise. Not warm sentiments and Hallmark lyrics.

God is the love that does everything possible to bring out the best in the beloved. That’s you. That’s me. God is the ultimate pursuer of hearts who longs for his people to know him more than anything.

I keep pinching myself lately and wondering how I got so blessed. I am around some amazing people all day long, from family to friends who inspire me on a daily basis to strive after Jesus. I don’t think I’d be nearly as mature in the faith without them. In fact, I probably would have quit on the faith a long time ago without them.

It’s amazing that when you set your mind to look for the blessings in your life, you find them everywhere. When you stop concentrating on what you don’t have and focus on what you do have, you realize you have a lot. And those things you don’t have don’t seem as important anymore.

If you only remember one thing out of all this, remember that God loves you and is for you and wants you and won’t ever give up on you. Okay, that’s like four things, but they’re all in one sentence, so that counts as one thought, right? It’s never too late and you’re never too far gone for God to find and rescue and redeem.

I told you my thoughts were all over the map. They should probably make pills for this, but hey, at least I make life interesting.

 

 

Simple Yet Profound

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I was skimming through the vast ocean of tweets on Twitter and I ran across one that was simple in its concept, yet the more I thought about it the more profound it seemed. I know Twitter is rarely profound, with 99.9% of my own tweets as proof. But I read this little statement and it grabbed hold of me and hasn’t let go since.

“What you behold you become.”

It’s not only profound, but intensely convicting, for it begs the question, “What am I beholding?” followed by the question, “Do I want to become that?”

Am I beholding what the world defines as love, success, contentment, and happiness? I’ve seen enough of reality TV to know that I’m watching a severely skewed version of reality. What passes for love is really lust, what passes for success is greed, what passes for contentment is selfishness, and what passes for happiness is blissful ignorance.

I’m reminded of a verse in 2 Corinthians. Side note: before you start thinking how super-spiritual I am, you should know I had to do a keyword search on biblegateway.com to find this verse.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Transformation happens when we behold the glory of God. When we turn our eyes upon Jesus and look full in his wonderful face, as the old hymn puts it. If you look at Jesus long enough, you can’t help but become like him.

But how much am I looking at Jesus as opposed to everything else there is to see? For me, not nearly enough for real and lasting transformation to take place. I’m too easily distracted by everything around me.

That’s what I need. To look at Jesus more and look in the mirror a little less. To look at God and how he sees me more and the world around me and how they perceive me a little less. That’s where real change for the better lies.

True Faith

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Well, my team lost again. I was rooting for the San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl and they got oh-so-very-close, but still lost. Thus continues my streak of rooting for the losing team. But I’ll keep rooting for my teams, even if they keep losing.

Some will tell you that faith means that if you believe hard enough, everything will go your way and you will always get what you want and all your dreams will come true. I think that’s partially true. Sometimes, you believe and you receive what you want. But not always.

I think true faith is shown when you see no sign of your prayer getting answered, but you still keep believing the impossible. Your faith deepens and grows when you don’t get what you asked for and when the silence of heaven seems to be your only answer.

I’ve said it a lot lately, but I believe it more than ever before– God is the absolute best at making the impossible possible. He’s the only one who can speak life out of nothing, who can bring a whole universe into being by speaking it.

A church were I attended for a few months has a saying, “Everyone’s welcome. Nobody’s perfect. Anything’s possible.” As of right now, I officially made that my motto. I think it serves as a good model for Christianity.

Jesus will never turn away anyone who comes to him in faith. Nobody gets it right all the time and every one of us has royally screwed up at least once. And no matter how bad your situation is or how far away your dreams seem, it’s never too late and you’re never too far gone to see God show up, for with him all things are possible.

So you’ll probably hear me wailing and gnashing my teeth again after next year’s Super Bowl. But I’m not giving up hope that my team will win one day. And I’m especially not giving up hope on my God. He’s all I really have, anyway.

Reminders That Life Really Is Good

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I woke up today to snow on the ground. To those living above the Mason-Dixon line, that may not be a big deal, but it is for this guy living way down in Tennessee. It may not have lasted, but it was pretty.

I may not have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. I am still so very blessed.

One of my friends is getting re-baptized at her church. I plan on being there to celebrate and rejoice in this brave step of obedience on her part. I love seeing how God has been working in the lives of family and friends lately. It’s a good reminder for me that those prayers of mine really are getting past the ceiling. James writes that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I do know that they work.

I’ve learned over time that real maturity is seeing God bless someone else and being happy. Even if that person gets something you’ve wanted but not received, you can still choose to be happy for him or her. I’ve been envious and bitter in the past about such people, but I’m learning to rejoice for them. I think there’s hope for me yet.

I keep thinking that one day this little blog of mine will explode and start raking in thousands of readers. Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m thankful for those who take the time to read my ramblings when there are so many other things competing for their time and attention.

God is good, all the time. Not just when I feel that he is good. Not when I feel he’s doing right by me. All the time. That’s 24/7.

Just so you know, if you ask me to pray for you about something, I do. If you ask me to pray for a loved one, I will. Keep reminding me that life is good and that God is good, because I forget early and often. I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?