spirituality

The Far Country

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“The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols,breaking the hearts of their worshippers.  For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited” (Clive Staples Lewis, Weight of Glory).

I’ve been thinking about the whole prodigal story from a different perspective. For so long, I’ve always thought about the prodigal as someone other than me. Sure, I’m glad he came home, but I’m also glad that he wasn’t me.

These days, I can see myself as the prodigal son. I may not have run away from home and sowed my wild oats, but I have rebelled in my mind. I have been at times both the younger and the older son in the story.

We are all prodigals a long way from home. As good as this life is, it’s not home. I heard it put like this: at best this life is a clean bus station; you might not mind staying there a while, but you wouldn’t want to live there.

We are all on the road, trying to find our way home. We’ve all had moments when we’ve come to ourselves and realized that we need to change.

The magical part of the story is that we all have a Father who’s waiting at the end of the road. This Father is not disappointed in us. He’s not ready to turn His back on us or disown us.

He’s got his running shoes on and He can’t wait to run down the road and throw His arms around us and welcome us home. He’s got ribs on the grill and a party unlike any you’ve ever seen.

You may have plans to work your way into  His good graces, but the most important news is that it’s already been done. His own son has paid your admission fee.

So when you catch the scent of a new flower or hear snatches of a new song, you’re catching glimpses of a home you’ve never seen, but only heard of. But in your heart of hearts, you know it’s where you belong.

 

By Faith

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I am an optimistic and positive person for the most part. I usually see the glass half full. Unless it’s when I’m really thirsty, then the glass is empty, ’cause I just drank it all.

Sometimes, I have serious doubts. Sometimes, it feels like my dreams and goals are just out of reach and nothing will really ever change. Sometimes, I’m not even really sure what it is I’m reaching for.

Everybody has those times, if they’re honest. Everybody doubts, everybody questions, and as the old R.E.M. song says, everybody hurts.

The question is, Will you still believe even when common sense tells you not to? Will you speak your faith even when you don’t feel it and the words coming out of your mouth feel fake and fraudulent? Will you still hold on?

The old cliche is true. It really is darkest just before the dawn. I’ve found that just when I feel like I’m at my lowest ebb, that’s when I see God moving in my circumstances and in my life.

The promises of God are just as true in the dark as they are in the light. He is just as faithful in the storm as in the sunshine. He is just as near when you can’t feel Him as when you can.

I’ve said it before many times, but it’s true. What you think may lie to you. What you feel may lie to you. But God won’t. Ever.

So many people in the Bible had times when they felt God’s promises were hopelessly out of reach. I think about David and Abraham as examples. David when he was running for his life from Saul and Abraham when he and Sarah were still childless and eligible for Social Security.

But they held on to the promises of God even when everything in them (and probably everyone around them) told them not to, and that faith was rewarded in the nick of time in God’s perfect timing.

May you and I hold on as tenaciously and as stubbornly as they did.

It will be so much more than worth it in the end.

 

Vessels: Meditation on Kairos Tonight

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I love the illustration Mike Glenn used tonight in Kairos. He spoke of washing down an Oreo with a glass of milk, only to discover at the bottom of the glass some residue left from the dishwasher.

You woudn’t say the top half of the milk was clean and keep drinking. You wouldn’t say the glass was mostly clean. You’d say the glass was dirty.

How can I call my life clean if I have unconfessed sins and hidden bad habits and areas of mine that I’ve not put under the Lordship of Jesus? How can I expect God to use me if I am mostly clean? God doesn’t use lives that are mostly clean.

I need to be completely clean.

But that’s the beauty of it.

I can be clean if I just simply ask. First I confess. I agree with God that I did or said the wrong thing and left undone the right thing. That I chose my way instead of God’s way. Then I repent, turning 180 degrees from my way to God’s way.

Furthermore, if you want to be a vessel used by God, you can’t wait until the storms of life to get ready. You have to be ready.

Mary was already God’s servant when He called her to be the vessel to bring Jesus into the world. Joseph was already a righteous man when God called him to take Mary as His wife and raise Jesus as his own son.

They didn’t wait until God called them to get ready. They were ready.

The beautiful part of all this is it’s never too late to get ready. It’s never to late to ask God to mold and make you into the person God can use to impact the world around you.

Whether you’re 20 or 40 or 60 or 80, God can still take your life and use it to bless many more than you could possibly imagine.

I want to be like the loaves and fishes Jesus used to feed the 5,000. I want to be broken and blessed, so that the pieces of my life can bless far more people than a safe, unbroken life ever could. I want to be confessed and clean and ready when the time comes that God takes my life and uses it as He sees fit.

I hope you do, too.

My Unplanned Vacation

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Even now, it still seems so surreal and dreamlike. I still remember walking into that room and hearing the words that I was being let go, but it seems more like a dream than some actual dreams I’ve had. And I’ve had some wacky ones in my time.

So today, I took it easy. I went to see a movie and ate at Jason’s Deli. I finished up season 4 of Mad Men, where they had to let people go from their ad agency.

I am so thankful for all the well wishes and prayers from all of my facebook friends. Maybe that’s one reason why I’m not in full-on stressed out mode at the moment.

I also know that I’ve had to look for a job before and God has always provided. I am confident that He will come through this time just like He has so many times before through all the years I’ve known Him.

Regardless of what I think or how I feel, what I know to be true of my God is more real than anything I feel or think. This may be a time of testing where I am forced to rely on God’s strength when I have run out of my own.

Maybe this is where God takes away something good to give me something way better. That’s what I’m hoping and praying is the case.

No matter how big the obstacle you’re facing, God is bigger. No matter  how strong the opposition, God is stronger. Even when you don’t have the faith to believe, God is faithful even when we are faithless.

Despite all the changes and chaos and turmoil, that’s still true. And it always will be.

Sparks

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I think I had my eyes opened today. I’ve been living in a bubble and not really seeing the people around me.

I attended a one-day seminar/conference/retreat/you-pick-a-name-for-it called Spark, about how to intentionally create relationships with unbelievers.

I never realized how much time I spend in my little Christian bubble with my Christian activities and my Christian friends and am blind to the people around me who have needs and hurts and fears.

I don’t know how this will work out for me, practically speaking, but I know I can never go back to who I was this morning.

That’s how it goes when you learn or try something new. You get stretched and you can never go back to your original shape. You may not notice it or feel it, but you are a different person. You have been transformed.

I’m so glad I got stretched today. I’m even more glad I was surrounded by people that have already walked the same road and others who are just as ready and willing as I am to walk it.

I can’t wait to see what great things God will do through our little bit of agreement and obedience.

May God stretch you into something new and beautiful. May your life become a spark that ignites a flame that burns passionately for His glory.

Amen.

Trusting

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I’ve always heard it this way: Don’t trust people, but trust the Jesus in people.

I think there’s some truth to that.

People in and of themselves have good intentions, but short attention spans. They are forgetful, busy, distracted, and human. They make promises and break them, not because of malice, but because of everyday life getting in the way.

If you are my friend, I make this pledge. I won’t promise to keep every promise I ever make to you. I know myself too well for that.

I can promise to extend you grace for when you fail. I can promise to pray for you when you’re happy or sad, whether you are in a good place or struggling, whether you live out of the joy of being Abba’s Child or don’t know who you are that day.

I can promise to always give you the benefit of the doubt and no matter what, see the best in you. I’ve had people who saw good things in me even when I couldn’t and helped bring those things out in me. And I’m better for it.

I want to see Jesus shining brightly through you and you to be every bit of who God made you to be, confidently standing strong in your faith and taking a bit of Heaven with you everywhere you go.

I love hearing your stories. I love seeing how God has worked in your life and how you are being transformed daily. I would love to meet with you and hear your faith stories (the ideal place is Starbucks, but I am flexible).

May the Lord bless and keep you and make His face to shine on you. May you hear Him singing over you tonight and leaping for joy over you in the morning.

Tuesday Musings

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“For all thy blessings, known and unknown, remembered and forgotten, we give thee thanks” (from an old prayer quoted by Frederick Buechner).

Buechner calls it a crazy, holy grace. I like that. I also like it when he says that “faith is the assurance that the best and holiest dream is true after all.”

It changes how you look at faith when you realize that what you believe in is a “true myth,” as J.R.R. Tolkien explained Christianity to a then-unconverted C.S. Lewis. It’s not too good to be true; it’s too good not to be true.

The Gospel is the ultimate fairy tale come to life, the ultimate story of how the Hero has come to rescue us from the Wicked Stepmother and the Evil Queen and all the other dark and terrible forces in this world.

I forget that sometimes. I forget what I was saved from. I forget that I at one time desperately needed rescuing. I only see that my life doesn’t make sense and doesn’t always look like I want it to.

But when I look at life itself as grace, then I see the fact that I woke up at all this morning and drew breath as pretty amazing. This day, both the good and bad, from start to finish, has been a gift.

I have friends to remind me. They always make me smile and make me want to be more like Jesus. I try to bless and encourage them, but end up being far more on the receiving end of these things.

I’m still learning to live with open hands instead of clenched fists that cling to what’s mine, like my rights, my wants, my desires, my need for vindication, etc. Clenched fists can’t receive anything from anyone or from God. God only gives to those with open hands and open hearts and open minds.

I still remember the prayer a friend taught me: “Lord, I come to you with open hands. If all I get in this moment is You and the next breath, that will be enough.” I think that’s my prayer for Tuesday, May 15.

Dumb Mistakes

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I remember vividly when I was a kid waiting for my sister. She took ballet and I would wait outside the building until her practice was over. One time, I had the genius idea and thought, “When she comes out, I’m racing her to the car.”

Lo and behold, she came out and I took off running. I didn’t stop until I sat down in the car. Then I looked up. I thought, “Hey, you’re not my sister. Hey, wait a minute, this isn’t our car.” It was probably one of the most awkward situations I’ve ever been in.

Maybe your mistake wan’t as funny. Maybe it was devastating or tragic. Maybe it ruined a friendship or even a marriage. Maybe you feel like you’re still paying for that mistake made so many years ago.

You’re not alone. Moses messed up royally. He got angry with God’s people and spoke as if he and not God were responsible for giving the Israelites water and helping them out of jams time and time again.

Then there’s David, who committed adultery with Bathsheeba, lied to and tried to deceive her husband, then finally had him killed. I think that qualifies as an epic fail.

The good news is that your story doesn’t have to end with failure. God offers forgiveness and a fresh start if you own up to what you did and are willing to change and go in a different direction.

I love what David wrote in Psalm 51 after he confessed to his own sin and repented of it:

“Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,

soak out my sins in your laundry.

I know how bad I’ve been;

my sins are staring me down.

You’re the One I’ve violated, and you’ve seen

it all, seen the full extent of my evil.

You have all the facts before you;

whatever you decide about me is fair.

I’ve been out of step with you for a long time,

in the wrong since before I was born.

What you’re after is truth from the inside out.

Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life.

Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean,

scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.

Tune me in to foot-tapping songs,

set these once-broken bones to dancing.

Don’t look too close for blemishes,

give me a clean bill of health.

God, make a fresh start in me,

shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.

Don’t throw me out with the trash,

or fail to breathe holiness in me.

Bring me back from gray exile,

put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways

so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,

and I’ll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.

Unbutton my lips, dear God;

I’ll let loose with your praise.”

All I can add to that is

Amen.

What’s It Worth to You?

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I had some hard questions that smacked me upside the head today. Questions like these:

What in my life am I so passionate about that I would sacrifice everything else for?

Is what I believe just mental assent or does it a actually change the way I live?

Am I a follower when it’s convenient or will I still follow even when it costs me something?

Do those I work with know that I’m a follower of Jesus and could they see the way I act and speak and be able to tell a difference?

Am I following Jesus as a means to my own goals and dreams or for the sake of knowing and becoming more like Him?

Can I be okay with living in limbo with unanswered questions and unfulfilled desires and silences from God?

When Monday and the week start all over again, will I be willing to pick up my cross and carry it and follow Jesus no matter what?

Those are some questions that are haunting me right now. In my own strength I could only say no, but with God’s help and strength and Jesus in me, I am finally and firmly able to offer up an absolute yes.

In my own power I will choose ease and comfort and me every time, but in the power of the risen Christ, I can choose sacrifice and picking up my cross and, ultimately, to be a vessel through which Jesus can tangibly love the world.

May the same be said of each of you.

Christian Reciprocity Revisited, Or What I Learned from Kairos Roots Tonight

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I feel like Mr. Rogers. “The word for today is reciprocity. Can you say reciprocity, boys and girls? Very good.”

Basically, the word means give and take. It’s all about giving and receiving.

There will be times when God blesses you. You will pick up your Bible and truths and insight will practically jump off the pages. You will have an unexpected bonus from work or a pay raise or some other financial blessing. You will be in a good position to give.

Then there will be other times when you read the Bible and it might as well be in Greek for what you get out of it. You have an overdraft or two at the bank and your bank account has a rather unpleasant negative sign in front of the number. Then you are in a good place to learn how to receive.

Even life experiences can be shared in the same way. You go through tragedy and heartbreak at times and find others who are willing to share your load and get you through. Later,  you are able to walk with someone else who is going through the same valley.

I do believe that we are most like Jesus when we are giving freely, expecting nothing in return, to those least likely to reciprocate the favor.

I also believe that it is a good lesson to learn to receive gratiously and humbly. To not receive is to rob someone else of the blessing of giving out of pride or false self-sufficiency.

The bottom line is that all we have is from God. We didn’t earn one red cent apart from His grace and provision. In the end, we’re not owners. We’re stewards, taking care of what really belongs to God.

Lord, give us Your eyes to see the need and Your generous heart to reach out with what You gave us to help meet that need. May we not give just our resources and our time but our very lives away for the cause of Christ every single day for the rest of our lives. Amen.