speaking life

Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word

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“Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family.” (Henri Nouwen)

I’ve posted and blogged and mentioned multiple times before how the hardest person to forgive is often yourself. You know yourself too well and you know your own weaknesses because a certain adversary reminds you of them every single day.

I know I’ve blown it with a friend and the friendship won’t ever be the same again. We used to hang out and be good friends but now she won’t even sit on the same side of the room as me and we feel like really good acquaintances.

There are one or two (including that one at Starbucks) who have taken to actively disliking me and nothing I say or do will change that. For me, I have to remember that I can’t be friends with everyone and that it’s not my job to make every single person like me. It’s my job to be the best me possible.

But forgiveness isn’t optional. Not with others and especially not with ourselves. How dare I choose not to forgive myself when God (who incidentally knows me better than I do) has freely forgiven me? And why would I want to live under a cloud of condemnation when I don’t have to?

No one does relationships well. We mistrust each other. We read too much into silences and jests. We say the wrong things and fail to say the right things. Most of us have gotten used to the taste of shoe leather from sticking our feet in our mouths so often.

But real friendship between two believers is the Jesus in me communing with the Jesus in you. It’s practicing forgiveness and grace and blessing, giving these abundantly because we know our desperate need for all of the above.

You are not your past. Or your mistakes. You are not the names you’ve been called or that you’ve called yourself.

You are:

Redeemed

Forgiven

Blessed

Child of God

Beautiful

Beloved

To Die For

The One Your Abba Is Still Very Fond Of

May we speak not hurt but life, not wounds but blessings into each other. May we always look to see the best in ourselves and in others and call out the beautiful and glorious in each other. May we learn to love others and ourselves the way God has always loved us.

Learning to Listen Well

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I love serving at Room in the Inn at my church during the colder months of the year. It helps more than anything to get me out of myself and into a more others-centered mind frame.

Tonight, I went to a dinner where Dr. Ken Corr, Congregational Care Minister at Brentwood Baptist Church, spoke about how to effectively minister to the homeless. One of the takeaways for me was empathetic listening.

Empathetic listening seeks to understand what the person speaking is feeling. It’s where you step into that person’s shoes and hear the story from their side.

It’s not about giving advice or trying to fix their story to make it better. It’s not even about offering to give their story a better outcome. It’s certainly not about formulating your response (as I have so often done) so that you will come across as wiser and kinder than you really are.

For someone to tell you their story is a rare and precious gift. They are inviting you into their private world, letting you in to a place that few people have been allowed. You should value that trust and respect the gift.

But also, the gift of truly listening is equally a special gift to someone. You’re saying to that person, “You are not invisible, because I see you in your struggles and triumphs, joys and pains. You are not alone, because I am a witness to your story and I know where you’ve been and what you’ve been through.”

You earn the right to speak life and blessing into a person’s life by listening to not just their words, but the feelings behind those words. Many times, the person will be unable to understand their own feelings related to their story. You can share what their story made you feel and in that way help them understand their own emotions.

I want to be a better listener. I want to learn to listen to what you have to say, for that is one of the ways God often speaks to me. May we all learn to listen well.

Good Thoughts from a Good Friend

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I was talking tonight to a good friend I hadn’t seen in a while and she said something very profound that I haven’t gotten my brain wrapped around yet.

I remarked that I love encouraging people. Or maybe that I really love chocolate creme Oreos. I honestly don’t remember now. But what she said in response blew what little mind I have left to smithereens.

She said that we give to others those things we need the most from others.

In other words, I give encouragement because for me, being encouraged is like getting oxygen. It’s life to me. I love giving hugs because I love getting them.

It can get unhealthy when I start expecting you to return the good I do for you in the same measure and spirit in which it was given. Then it can become a kind of manipulation.

But often, it can spur great kindnesses. I know I need grace, so I try to give it often. I also know I’m not alone in my need of it, so I can meet an often unspoken need and bless someone by giving them what they so desperately need but don’t know how to ask for it.

As I reflect tonight, I realize again just how very blessed I am. I have so many family members and friends who speak life, healing, blessing, correction, and joy into my life. You show me Jesus every single day and spur me on to greater love and devotion for my Savior. You keep me sane and positive.

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I talk about how eucharisteo precedes the miracle. You, my friends and my family, ARE my miracle. I mean that literally.

Thank you. May God bless you as you have blessed me and lift you up as you have lifted me up. May you know the extravagant, prodigal, lavish, crazy love of Abba Father for you until it fills you up and splashes out onto every single person around you.

Amen.

The Broken-Hearted God

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“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Things I’m thankful for

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If you’ve been keeping up with my facebook posts, this might be a bit of a re-run for you. At least most of it.

I’ve compiled an extensive list of things I’m thankful for, some frivolous, some serious, some in-between. You be the judge. I’m thankful

1) For orange tic-tacs (ever since I saw the movie Juno).

2) For unending and unfailing grace.

3) For the tortilla soup at Chuy’s that I can’t get enough of.

4) For God’s track-record of faithfulness, especially in the times when I’ve been faithless.

5) For chai frappachinos from Starbucks with caramel drizzle (and cinnamon sprinkled on top as an added bonus).

6) For friends who have stood by me when others might have given up and written me off as a lost cause.

7) For coconut water, because once you’ve tried it, you’re hooked.

8) For new mercies every morning.

9) Chocolate in all its wonderful and glorious forms– and yes, I am aware that today is National Milk Chocolate Day.

10) The day Jesus rescued me.

11) That it’s currently not 111 degrees outside. And for air-conditioning inside.

12) That one day God will make everything right again and turn the world right-side up.

13) For spam in a can, ’cause it’s brilliant.

14) That I’m not who I was and I’m not yet who I will be.

15) That every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings (attaboy, Clarence!)

16) That every time I fall down or fail big, I get a second chance and a clean slate.

17) For the chicken cobb avocado salad at Panera Bread on Old Hickory Blvd in front of Target.

18) For every single word of encouragement or blessing or edification or correction spoken over me by family and friends. You didn’t realize it, but God was speaking through you to me to make me more like Jesus.

I could think of about a 1,000 more reasons to be thankful, but I’ll save those for future blogs. When you live with eyes and heart and hands wide open, you can’t help but be grateful and thankful all the time. You can’t help but see blessings everywhere.

So what are you thankful for?

Awake and Alive

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“My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement” (from the movie Joe vs. The Volcano)

The Apostle Paul urges us to not be asleep, but to awake from our slumber. He doesn’t mean to never sleep at all. He means to be alert and paying attention to what’s going on around you. To not have your head buried in the sand and to know the signs of the times. To always be ready for Jesus to come back at any moment.

To be awake is to not sleep-walk through life. It’s to not be so focused on getting stuff done and accumulating stuff and titles and trophies that you miss life. So often, life– real life- is in the small details that we overlook in our rush to get to the next big phase of our existence. We’re either so focused on what’s next or on what in the past we could have done better that we miss what God is doing right now.

I heard a beautiful illustration today about the parable of the virgins waiting on the bridegroom. In the parable, some were ready with their lamps filled with oil and some were not. In that day, the husband-to-be would go away and prepare a place for his bride-tobe, usually adding an addition to his parent’s house. When he was done,  he would come back for her and take her there.

She didn’t know when he was coming back, so she literally had to be ready every single day. She had to be made-up and adorned in her wedding apparel in case today was the day he showed up.

We need to be ready in the same way. We need to be living the faith we proclaim now. We need to be loving people radically and both demonstrating and declaring the supreme goodness of Jesus right now. We need to be Jesus to those around us who need Him desperately right now.

Most of all, we need to live with eyes wide open (as another song I heard once said). Those who are really and truly awake can’t help but see God in everything and see His blessings at every turn. We will be the most joyful, most content, most alive people the world has ever known because we really have seen the glory of the coming of the King.

The question for you and for me is: will we continue to sleep-walk through our existence and wonder at the end what it was all about, or will we come alive to God’s calling and purpose and live in the complete joy of being exactly where God wants us to be living out God’s dream for us?

The Art of the Blog

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I’m sitting here at my laptop (+5 cool points) wearing my brown plaid shorts (-10 cool points) and pondering the mysteries of the universe. Which means I don’t have a topic to blog about and I can’t for the life of me think of one at the moment.

This is “stream-of-consciousness” blogging, or more accurately, “making stuff up as I go and hoping something sticks.”

I realize now this is why most people don’t do the daily blog thing. It’s really hard coming up with new and fresh and relevant material day after day. Especially when the highlight of your day was spending an hour on the elliptical.

I’m just an ordinary guy who loves God and loves to write. My goal is to communicate the truth of Who this God is and Who this Jesus is and to help you in your discovery of who you are in Christ and who God made you to be.

It’s hit or miss. Some blogs work, some don’t. Some may speak to you in the depth of your soul, some may just be words on a page. That’s okay.

I really do believe that if I was the only one getting anything out of this, that would be enough. And it is theraputic and healing to get these thoughts out of my head and down into a tangible format.

I intend to keep blogging away for as long as God allows. I intend to keep telling the good news that God really is for you and He really likes and loves you and He does have a wonderful plan for your life. He is the wonderful plan for your life.

I’m not saying everything will be sunshine and roses and kittens in baskets. Life is hard and storms do come. But God is just as faithful on the dark and stormy nights as He is in the sunshiny summer days. That’s all.

Your regularly scheduled game of Farmville will now resume. Thank you and have a pleasant evening.

My Last Day on Earth

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I was thinking about the shootings at the movie theatre in Colorado today. Not in a morbid way. I was thinking what if I was one of those 12 people who went into the theatre to see The Dark Knight Rises, never realizing that my life was about to end.

What if I knew that today was my last day? How would it change how I lived?

I know I’d be more forgiving and understanding of others, far less quick to pass judgments and far more eager to give grace and the benefit of the doubt. I’d be more forgiving of myself when I do and say stupid stuff.

I’d spend less time getting the to-do list checked off and much more time hanging out with the people who matter to me.

I’d be braver and take more chances. Probably not sky-diving or bull-riding, but I’d do at least one thing that I’d been scared of doing before.

I’d appreciate the people in my life who have really been my friends and family and who have loved me when I wasn’t too easy to love and supported and encouraged me when I needed it most.

I’d make every effort to let the people in my life know how much they meant to me and how grateful I was for them, because no tomorrow is guaranteed for me or for anyone else. I would never assume that people know how special and uniquely-created they are; I’d tell them.

I’d be a lot more thankful for the little things in my life like the sun rising every morning, the flowers that bloom every spring, the sweet scent of summer air that takes me back to my childhood. I’d say “Thank you, God,” a lot more and really mean it.

What if I lived every day of the rest of the life God gives me as if it were my last day?

 

Westboro Baptist: Who Are We Against, Really?

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I was thinking today about the announcement that the infamous Westboro Baptist Church was picketing a church I’ve attended in the past. Apparently, this church was much too tolerant about forgiving sinners and extending grace.

That made me think. Who am I against? Who is my enemy? And the question that I can’t get over: Are we really supposed to be against anybody?

This is my own belief and is no way affiliated with anybody else, but here goes. I don’t think we’re supposed to be against anybody.

Think about it. The Bible tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood people, but against spiritual forces and demonic powers. I can’t find it anywhere in my Bible where I am supposed to hate a particular group simply because they behave and believe differently than I do.

The Bible says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It says to go out of your way to serve and minister to them the same way Christ did. The Bible says nothing about picketing and name-calling and verbally attacking.

A pastor I greatly admire said that you don’t fight fire with fire. You fight it with water. You don’t fight hate with more hate, but with a love that is stronger than any hate. A love that is stronger than all the political powers and all the weapons of the world and all the special-interest groups. A love stronger than fear. A love stronger than even death, the grave, and hell.

God never called me to go out and correct someone’s lifestyle. He never called me to go out and point out all the reasons they’re going to hell. He told me to go out and proclaim the good news– that there is hope for the hopeless, healing for the broken, and salvation for those who can’t ever get it right and are stuck in sin.

I believe we’re even called to show grace to the legalists and Pharisees who themselves don’t believe in or practice grace.

What am I against? I’m against the lies that keep people in bondage. I’m against any kind of hate that condemns a person that Jesus came to save. I’m against reducing the beautiful Story God has written over thousands of years to a pithy phrase that fits on a bumper sticker or a picket sign.

What am I for? Grace. Because I above all people need it. Because I have received it and know how good it feels to be forgiven and free. Because I want every single person out there to know that feeling, too.

I’m just a nobody [in the world’s eyes] trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. That’s all.

It’s a Beautiful Thing

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It’s a beautiful thing when you are grateful for waking up each morning and fully appreciate all the blessings you have been taking for granted.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can raise your hands in worship as fervantly in when life is falling apart as when life is going great.

It’s a beautiful thing when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way and you realize you’re perfectly content to be friends with that person and to be the best friend you can be.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can release your child to be all God made him or her to be, even if that takes him or her half a world away.

It’s a beautiful thing when you see your marriage as a chance for you to love your spouse unconditionally like Christ loved the Church.

It’s a beautiful thing when you have no reason anymore to hope, but hope remains.

It’s a beautiful thing when you’ve fallen for the thousandth time, but you get up one more time, thankful for Grace that never gives up.

It’s a beautiful thing when you say goodbye to friends but hold them in your heart at the same time and know that distance is no great barrier for those God has brought together in friendship.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can say “Thy will be done,” even if it means saying “All my dreams and plans and desires be undone” at the same time.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can pray, “God, use me however, wherever, and whenever you want. I give you my money, my time, my body, and my very life for Your Kindom.”

It’s a beautiful thing when you stop praying for blessings and start praying to be a blessing.

It’s a beautiful thing when you become a conduit for God’s power and love to flow through to the world and God can see people with your eyes, go to them with your feet, touch them with your hands, and love them with your heart.

It’s a beautiful thing indeed.