sneak preview

A Beautiful Day in January

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

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“This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards … was it possibly the root of all evil? No: of course the love of money was called that. But money itself—perhaps one valued it chiefly as a defence against chance, a security for being able to have things over again, a means of arresting the unrolling of the film” (C. S. Lewis, Perelandra).

Today was perfect. I served as a greeter at the church’s back door this morning and was pleasantly surprised at how warm and spring-like the weather was. The sun was shining, there was a faint breeze, and I felt really good.

Sometimes, I wish I could bottle weather on days like this. That way I could pull it out on those cold, rainy days where it’s easy to feel discouraged and disheartened and instantly be transported back to this morning. Even if it were only 5 minutes, that would be enough to tide me over until the next sunny day.

Unfortunately, that sort of technology doesn’t yet exist. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe instead of pining for better weather, I could train my eye to see the good, even during those nasty, cold, and rainy days that always seem to come in bunches.

You can’t repeat a memory, no matter how good it was. You can never go back and re-create it. After all, all those variables that worked out just perfectly for you to have that moment have changed, as have you. And besides, all the time spent longing for past glories only takes away from your ability to be fully present where you are right now.

So I’ll be content to think about how I got a sneak preview of spring on January 18, 2015 and just as equally content when the weather goes back to normal cold January weather.

 

 

Wednesday Thoughts

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

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I got another sneak peek of autumn. It was warm, but not too much, with no humidity and just the tiniest hint of frost in the air. I loved it.

I drove home listening to a Billie Holiday CD. It was in fact the same CD that I lost in my transition from Memphis to Nashville almost 9 years ago. Her voice always takes me to a soothing happy place. It’s sad that her own life was so tragic and filled with heartaches and poor choices.

I took my iPad to the Apple Store because the Big Honkin’ Button hasn’t been working right. And no, that’s probably not the name that the Apple tekkies use, but it works for me. Anyhow, THAT button can be stubborn and not always do what I want. Imagine that.

It turns out I can either trade in this iPad for partial credit toward a new iPad or learn to bear with the Big-Honkin’-and-Sometimes-Annoying-Button. I chose option #2 as it was the affordable option.

I’m thinking about all the celebs we’ve lost so far in 2014: Philip Seymour Hoffman, James Garner, Mickey Rooney, Shirley Temple, Lauren Bacall, and Robin Williams.

I still can’t imagine being in a place where death seems like the only option. Then again, I’ve never struggled with clinical depression. I do know that it’s not something you can just “snap out of,” but a real chemical imbalance. A broken brain is just as broken as any broken foot or arm or leg. You just can’t see it.

I also know that you never know the secret battles that others are facing. I can look down on a Philip Seymour Hoffman who overdosed or a Robin Williams who hung himself with his own belt. But who knows how I would have fared under similar circumstances? Maybe I would have done far worse.

So yeah, it was nice outside. Too nice to not take a little time, roll down the windows, and breathe in the air. I may not have everything I want but I do have everything I need and then some. I am blessed.

Early Autumn Breezes

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

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Today was perfect. It was like God sent a sneak preview of fall about two months early and gave us Nashvillians (and lots of other folks) a break from the usual heat and humidity that’s the norm for this time of year.

I actually ate lunch outside and went for my usual walk and for once didn’t sweat like that pig that’s about to become Sunday dinner. It was lovely. And I managed not to get hit by any cars, which is always a plus.

I think it’s amazing what little surprises come your way when you let go of expectations and assumptions of other people and live in a kind of anticipation of what God will do next. When you have those rare moments when you’re totally unaware of self and focused on being the kind of person to others that you’ve always wanted them to be to you. You can’t control other people or how they’ll respond, but you can control you. You can choose Christlikeness in each moment and leave the results to God.

I’ve long ago stopped trying to figure out Tennessee weather and enjoy the mild sunny days, whether those come in January or May or August. Who knows? The next day could be hot. Or rainy.

As my old boss used to say, any day without a toe tag is a good day. That is, any day you’re alive is a day worth living. I know most of us are always eagerly awaiting the next Friday so the all-too-short weekend can begin. But there’s a lot of good things happening during the week if you’re not too busy looking ahead to see them.

On a side note, it’s amazing how a certain smell in the air or the way a breeze hits me can trigger memories of what I was feeling when I was 15. It’s as if for a brief moment I’ve time-travelled back 26 years and am reliving a single good moment. For some reason, autumn does that to me more than any of the other seasons.

I digress. Go enjoy the weather. Go for an evening stroll or lay out in the hammock. Sit on the back porch or lay out in the grass under the stars. Even if it’s for 15 minutes. You won’t regret it. I promise.