sleep

Those Sleepless Nights

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I had a rough night last night. Well, that may be overstating things a bit. Last night, I didn’t sleep as well as I normally do. That’s more accurate.

I tossed and turned until after 1 am, then managed to wake up several more times in the night. At least I didn’t wake up one minute before my alarm is set to go off. That’s the absolute worst.

So I’m tired.

The Bible says that God grants sleep to those He loves.

I know that more than a few of you know what it’s like to go whole nights without sleeping. It can get to be a frustrating process, with you getting more and more weary and less and less able to sleep.

Maybe God has you up in the middle of the night for a reason. Maybe He’s putting something (or someone) on your mind to turn over to Him in prayer.

Pay attention to what God whispers in your ear on those sleepless nights. Maybe cease from all your tossing and turning and be still. Listen for that still, small voice that calls you Beloved.

I hope that I’ll sleep better tonight. I think I will. But in case I don’t, just know that I will likely be praying for some of you.

 

Being Thankful on a Friday

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“Thankfulness opens the door to my Presence. Thankfulness is built on a substructure of trust. I want you to learn the art of giving thanks in all circumstances. See how many times you can thank Me daily; this will awaken your awareness to a multitude of blessings. It will also cushion the impact of trials when they come against you. Practice My Presence by practicing the discipline of thankfulness” (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling).

I am thankful for Fridays.

I am thankful for friends who invite me over to do stuff with them.

I am thankful for ice cream socials.

I am thankful for bonfires that burn low and sweet and conjure up a million memories.

I am thankful for milder temperatures on late July evenings.

I am thankful that in God’s economy change always leads to something better.

I am thankful for my old red Jeep that still gets me places in style.

I am thankful for my bed which I will shortly be inhabiting.

I am thankful for that 15-year old feline that calls me Dude and continues to let me take care of her.

I am thankful.

 

Something That Spoke to Me

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I read this yesterday and I’m still thinking about it. It’s what C. S. Lewis wrote after his wife died after battling cancer. What spoke to me so much wasn’t as much the grief (although I have known that all too well), but the part of not being able to hear God speak to you because you’re too frantic to listen. We’ve all at some point been stressed and overwhelmed to the point where we can’t hear what anybody else is saying to us, much less God.

Here’s what he said:

“Why has no one told me these things? How easily I might have misjudged another man in the same situation? I might have said, ‘He’s got over it. He’s forgotten his wife,’ when the truth was, ‘He remembers her better because he has partly got over it.’

Such was the fact. And I believe I can make sense out of it. You can’t see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears. You can’t, in most things, get what you want if you want it too desperately: anyway, you can’t get the best out of it. ‘Now! Let’s have a real good talk’ reduces everyone to silence. ‘I must get a good sleep tonight’ ushers in hours of wakefulness. Delicious drinks are wasted on a really ravenous thirst. Is it similarly the very intensity of the longing that draws the iron curtain, that makes us feel we are staring into a vacuum when we think about our dead? ‘Them as asks’ (at any rate ‘as asks too importunately’) don’t get. Perhaps can’t.

And so, perhaps, with God. I have gradually been coming to feel that the door is no longer shut and bolted. Was it my own frantic need that slammed it in my face? The time when there is nothing at all in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can’t give it: you are like the drowning man who can’t be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear.”

Falling Back Again

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It’s that time again. Time to turn the clocks back one hour. I’m not exactly sure why we still have to do this. Why not just leave the clocks alone and skip the spring forward part as well? Daylight savings is so overrated.

Of course, there’s the small bonus of getting to sleep an extra hour. Unless you’re like me and end up staying up two hours later than usual and actually end up losing an hour of sleep.

It would be nice to be able to set the time back to a period when everything was going great and life seemed easier to manage. Maybe when you were in college or maybe that one job that you really loved. Maybe it was a time when you had a great group of friends and made some really special memories. Or maybe it was a relative that you didn’t appreciate enough at the time and would give anything to have one more conversation.

I still think that for me, this moment is my best moment because God is in this moment and when He’s at work, anything truly is possible. So I choose to be where I am right now in this moment so full of possibilities and potential.

I might go back and bring the old gas prices back with me. Especially from when I was in high school. Man, I wish that were possible.

Just Keep Calm

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It’s funny how when you have a really great conversation or an amazing gathering of friends or a beautiful moment, you want to go back to that same place and re-create it. Well, at least I do. In my mind, I think if I get back to that place with those same people, maybe that same magic will be there and we can recreate another moment just like the one I remember so well.

But I’m learning you can’t. Real pleasure is only fully realized when a moment becomes a memory. Or so says one Mr. C. S. Lewis who I’ve heard was somewhat wise on these matters.

Besides, you can’t go back. Only forward. Otherwise we might stay stuck repeating one moment over and over. We’d never move into the future for always wanting to go back into the past and recreate it.

This is your best moment because this is where God has you now and this is where you will find Him. Be all in the moment right now.

I’m tired but thankful. I know I’ll sleep well and hopefully have more moments worth remembering tomorrow. I hope you will, too.

So Tired 2: 😴

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I’m tired again. Funny how that happens every 24 hours or so. Especially when you’re working and meeting friends to go walking on beautiful Monday evenings. Not to mention pinning useless but fun items to Pinterest.

It’s a good kind of tired. It’s a grateful kind of tired. The kind where as exhausted as you are, you’re more grateful at the new opportunities you have.

For me, it’s like an adventure. Maybe not a Tolkien kind with dragons and gold at the end, but new places and new people and paychecks at the end. And just once, it would be so cool to get paid in gold. Just once.

The verse in Psalms says that God gives rest to those He loves. I’m glad it’s worded that way, not to those who love Him. Some days, I’m crazy in love with God and some days I’m apathetic and could care less (which is probably redundant and repititious, right?) Sleep goes to the ones God loves because it’s His love for us holding us together and keeping us going, not the other way around.

So good night, all you out there in La-La-Land. May you find sweet dreams and rest as only your Abba could grant them.

More of the Good Kind of Tired

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So, if you read last night’s post, you know I had to be back at the YEC by 7:30. I managed to arrive on time, even though I cheated on my alarm and gave myself an extra 20 minutes of sleep. It was worth it.

The whole weekend was worth it. I saw at least 1,000 students give their lives to Christ. I heard great worship music and great preaching. I was reminded of my own YEC experiences as a teenager waaaaay back in the 80’s.

I used to think most Christian t-shirts were cheesy in the extreme. I still do. But after helping to sell them for two days, I understand them a little bit better.

I know that as a teen, I wasn’t always able to articulate my faith very well. Sometimes, the t-shirt helped. Then again, if I live one way and my t-shirt testifies to another, I defeat the purpose.

My favorites were the one that had a half-bitten apple and the words “My bad. -Eve” and the one that said “satan is a poo poo head.” I also thought the one from Adam’s point of view was clever. It simply said, “Got rib?”

So yeah, I like Christian t-shirts again. I mean, just about every t-shirt out there makes a statement. So do all those labels on coats and shirts and jeans. The question is “What kind of statement do you want to make?”

Do you want people to know you wear the “right” labels or that you identify with a particular sports team? Or maybe that you want people to know that you love Jesus?

I still think the best way is still telling your own faith story in your own words, but sometimes you need a conversation starter.

So back to the YEC. A good time was had by all. The end.

I think after all that, I’ll have no trouble sleeping tonight.

A Good Kind of Tired

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I’m beyond tired at this point. But it’s a good kind of tired. A very good kind.

I volunteered to serve at the 2014 Youth Evangelism Conference. This time, I helped to man the booths where t- shirts were being sold. And man, did we sell a lot of t-shirts.

It was once again amazing to witness God moving in the lives of so many students. Especially at the altar call. I know there were literally hundreds of students who went forward to give their lives to Christ.

That alone makes the evening worthwhile. Even if it means losing a few hours of sleep. 7:30 am will feel like a brutally early start to the day after a late night. And it’s a Saturday. But I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

On a side note, every time I volunteer at the Municipal Auditorium, I wish I had a time machine. There are facsimiles of old concert tickets all across the place. Apparently, you could see Elton John way back in 1973 for the grand total of $3.50.

Lack of time machines aside, I always end up being blessed by these events and once again hopeful for the future. Most of all, I’m thankful that I can give back after once being blessed as a student at the YEC. And yes, I was a student once.

My Prayer Life

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praying-cat

I went to part one of a conference about Spiritual Practices. The guy who spoke focused on the discipline of prayer.

I have to be honest. Most of the time, I suck at prayer. When I try to pray early in the morning, I fall asleep. My mind wanders. I end up thinking about anything and everything but God.

One of the good takeaways (so far) from this conference is the idea of praying through the Bible, specifically the Psalms. It’s a good way to literally pray God’s Word back to Him and to keep your mind from wandering. It also keeps you from falling into rote prayers where you pray those same old tired cliches and phrases you’ve always prayed because you don’t know what else to pray, i.e. “Bless my family, bless my dog, etc.”

The point is to keep praying and not give up. It’s called a discipline because it takes effort and time. No one is born spouting off beautiful prayers. Everyone has to learn and everyone has to start somewhere.

Just because you’re not an expert at something is not a reason to quit. Besides, you become an expert only after you’ve put in 10,000  hours at something. At least that’s what I’ve read somewhere. The point is that it takes a lot of time and a lot of effort and a lot of looking (and sounding) foolish.

Think of someone learning to play an instrument. At first, it sounds like an animal is being tortured to death and needs to be put out of its misery. But eventually you get better. But not by giving up after a few off-notes.

Jesus didn’t teach us to pray perfectly or even to pray well. He just said to pray. Other parts of the Bible tell us to pray boldly, without ceasing, and with confidence.

So take it from this guy. I’m still learning to pray and probably will be for the rest of my life. But the good thing is that it doesn’t take eloquence and perfect theology for God to hear. It just takes a sincere heart and a willing spirit.

That’s all.

 

 

What Do Almost 14-Year Old Cats Do?

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In case you were absolutely dying to know what my cat Lucy does all day, it’s not overly complicated. Basically, she sleeps all day.

When I say she sleeps around, I’m not saying anything about her morals. I’m saying she literally sleeps in different places throughout the day. Don’t get me wrong. She has her favorite nap spots that she likes to go back to, like we humans have favorite vacation destinations or restaurants.

To say she takes cat naps is a misnomer. She takes people naps. She takes power marathon naps. Actually, she does the opposite of a cat nap in that she is awake for 15 minutes, give or take, and asleep the rest of the time.

I suppose when you’re a cat and you’re almost 14, you get to sleep a lot.

I do get annoyed at how easily she falls asleep, especially when I’m dealing with my periodic episodes of insomnia. I wish I could lay my head on the pillow and be instantly out.

Now you know a little more about Lucy the Wonder Cat. She is very companionable and can be very affectionate at times. She’s also good blog material when I can’t think of anything else to write about. Like tonight.