“When Jesus Christ says ‘Follow Me,’ He never says to where; the consequences must be left entirely to Him. We come in with our ‘buts,’ and ‘supposings,’ and ‘what will happen if I do?’ (cf. Luke 9:5762). We have nothing to do with what will happen if we obey; we have to abandon to God’s call in unconditional surrender and smilingly wash our hands of the consequences” –Oswald Chambers, Not Knowing Whither).
That’s just it. I want guarantees that if I follow, I’ll get the desires of my own heart. It’s true that God did promise that, but maybe not in the way that I’ve always believed or wanted it to be. I think that as I follow in obedience, God changes my wanter (to borrow a phrase from my pastor). In other words, the desires of my heart as a mature believer probably aren’t the same as they were when I first said Yes to Jesus way back when.
I don’t get to set the terms. I don’t get to tell Jesus what the conditions will be before I follow. The famous verse from Paul says that I am not my own. I have been bought with a price. And who am I to haggle percentages and conditions when Jesus paid for me with His very blood on that cross. As in He paid all of His blood, not most or some, but all.
I’m not leaving it completely to blind chance. I know in whom I have believed. I trust the One I have committed to follow. I know His plans are for good and not harm, for prospering and not for evil. I know that I can read a whole history of saints who have surrendered to Christ and not one has ever been worse for it. Not one.
It all goes back to my own stubbornness and pride to think that I know better than God how my life should go. In fact, I’d go so far as to call it arrogance to think that if God doesn’t give me what I want when I want it, He must not know what He’s doing. I’ve learned enough to know that He gives me what I would have asked for had I known what He knows.
And that’s enough for me.

