self-worth

A Letter to a Younger Me

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Right now, you don’t like yourself very much. You don’t think anybody else does, either. You don’t like being you and sometimes you wish you could be somebody else. Anybody else. Or maybe it would be better if you didn’t exist at all.

You’re wrong.

You’d be surprised at how many people really do like you. You’d be even more surprised at how many people don’t think badly of you, because they’re too busy with their own pain and insecurity and doubt to have time to think about you that much.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: you be the best you possible. Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. It’s that simple.

You daring to be you is a beautiful thing.

You choosing to be yourself makes God smile because He made you that way and He never makes anything ugly or second-rate or worthless.

So take time to laugh at yourself and be a little crazy, a little goofy, a little uncool. Remember that everything really will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it only means it’s not the end yet.

An Advent Prayer for Every Man I Know

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This is my prayer and my challenge for you men.

I pray you will be men, regardless of how politically incorrect or culturally unpopular it is. I pray you will have strong values and convictions and then be strong and brave to live up to those.

I pray you will learn how to look past a woman’s outward attractiveness to the true beauty within, that you see every woman not as an object but as a Princess, bought and paid for by her King.

I pray you will find your own Princess in God’s perfect time and you will learn to love her like Christ loves His own Bride and lay down your life for her every single day of the rest of your life.

I pray you rediscover the wonder and awe of the Advent season, that you learn again to laugh unabashedly with delight and to weep unashamedly with tears of both sorrow and joy.

I pray you find your own example in Joseph, who once He understood God’s plan, took Mary for His wife and raised Jesus as His own Son and whose obedience and faithfulness was mirrored in Jesus’ own obedience and faithfulness to the Father.

If you’re married, I pray your wife and children will see you falling in love with Jesus and living out that love. I pray you will lead your family by being not the stern taskmaster but the toweled feet-washer, the servant who leads by example.

May the greatest gift you receive this Christmas be a reaffirmation of knowing that your Abba really is fond of you. May your affirmation and identity come not from your wife or your family or your career or your house or your car but from being a Prince, bought and paid for by your King.

Last, always remember this: don’t be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Be a gentleman.

Blessed Are the Ignored

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“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty” (Mother Teresa).

Have you ever felt like you were being ignored?

Have you ever worked in an office where a co-worker made the point of chatting with everyone else but never with you?

Have you ever sent out a friend request on Facebook and not even gotten the dignity of a response?

Have you ever texted or messaged someone and it seemed like that person didn’t even feel you were worth bothering to respond to?

Have you ever felt that no guy or girl ever even saw you as a romantic possibility or even thought about you as anything other than a friend?

I read this week that to feel ignored is the worst feeling of all. I agree. It hits at one of our most vulnerable spots– the need to feel valued and appreciated as a human being.
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When someone ignores you, that person is essentially saying to you, “You don’t matter. You have no value.” It’s demeaning not only to that individual, but also to the God who created them (see Psalm 139).

Jesus knows exactly what that feels like. He stood before Jerusalem, weeping because they refused to turn to Him so that they could have true and eternal life.

Do you know something? There is never a moment that goes by where you are not on God’s mind. There is never a second where you are not on God’s heart and His eye is not on you.

Jesus would rather go through the hell of crucifixion and death for you than go to heaven without you. If you had been the only one, He still would have gone through all of the torture and pain because He thought you were worth it. And He still does. He still thinks you’re to die for.

Jesus’ love for you proves once and for all that you have worth and value. You matter. Whatever anyone else ever says or does to you will never negate the fact that your Abba loves you and is very fond of you. He has forever set His affection on you and nothing and no one can ever take it away.

Maybe you’re reading this and realize you’ve been guilty of ignoring someone, either consciously or otherwise. Maybe you’re feeling a tug at your heart compelling you to go to that person and make it right. Don’t let another day go by until you repent before God and restore that relationship.

Remember, God’s heart is still for the widow and the orphan, the outcast and the forgotten, those that society ignores. He still blesses those who bless them. In the Kingdom of God, everyone has a place. In God’s call, everyone is to hear the Good News; no one is ever to be left out.

I now understand that sometimes people are too overwhelmed by circumstances to see me. Sometimes, it’s all they can do to hold themselves together and not fall apart completely. The best thing you can do for someone who doesn’t acknowledge you is to pray God’s peace and healing over them. To pray they know in that very moment that God sees them in their pain and knows where they are.

God, you see us when no one else does and You’re with us when we feel most alone. Be with the ones feeling alone and may they feel You near in the moment of their greatest need. Amen.

Revisiting the Old Fears

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All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends” (Ann Voskamp).

Sometimes they do come back.

I’m talking about fears. Every so often, you will run into one of those along your path, usually when you least expect it and thought you had dealt with it.

Here’s a few examples.

Someone stops responding to your texts. The fear says, “See? You’ve offended that person in some way. You’ve ruined the relationship and it will never again be the same.”

A good friend moves to another town. “The fear moved in and whispers, “She won’t tell you to your face, but the real reason she moved was to get away from you.”

The one that dogged me for years was this: “Every one will eventually abandon you. Once they’ve seen what you’re really like, they won’t want to have anything more to do with you. They’ll start by growing distant with you and then disappear altogether. Nothing you do matters. No one notices anything you say. You might as well never have been born.”

Or maybe your fear goes like this: “You’re not worth someone’s love. No one could ever be attracted to you. You are repulsive to the opposite sex. You will always be alone.”

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Fear lies. That’s its nature.

Fear doesn’t come from God. Ever. Fear comes from the father of lies and means to keep you from God, imprisoned in your anxieties and phobias

Remember, perfect love casts out fear. And you are perfectly loved, just as you are, not as you should be or could be.

Name the fear. Expose it. Demons die in the light. Rebuke that fear OUT LOUD in the name of Jesus.

You in and of yourself will never defeat fear, but the power of Christ in you has already beaten it once and for all. That power is yours now to claim.

If you’ve allowed yourself to be mastered again to that fear, repent and move forward. Shame is a close relative of fear and is just as bent on keeping you away from God. Shame is also a defeated foe.

You as a child of God fight not for victory but FROM it. Keep that in mind and have a blessed Monday!

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Things I Love 33: The Very Last One . . . Or Is It?

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“Christian hands never clasp
and He doesn’t give gifts for gain
because a gift can never stop being a gift –
it is always meant to be given” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“The whole of the life — even the hard — is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Hopefully, by the end of this you will have seen a picture of gratitude and thanksgiving and how joy in the smallest things can radically alter your perspective and change your life. Truly, eucharisteo (thanksgiving with joy) precedes the miracle. So, I pick up where I left off at #971.

971) Homemade chili with shredded cheese and crumbled crackers on top.

972) Batman movie marathons.

973) Jesus never calls the equipped but equips the called.

974) My sister Leigh’s cat Gracie, who was the sweetest and best cat I’ve ever known. RIP, my little friend.

975) Fage Greek yogurt.

976) Switching to Verizon.

977) God’s perfect timing.

978) 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound.

979) The brilliance of The Screwtape Letters.

980) “If you build it, they will come.”

981) Whenever a bad guy in the movies gets what’s coming to him.

982) Whenever Jesus changes the bad guy into a good guy (because basically without Jesus and grace we’re all bad guys deep down).

983) Whenever I matter enough to someone for them to make time for me.

984) Having seen every single episode of the X-Files (and both movies).

985) Casual Fridays at work.

986) Blessing and serving Jesus by serving the least of these.

987) Snow on Christmas Eve.

988) That my value doesn’t decrease because of someone’s inability to see it (again “borrowed from a Facebook post).

989) The Home Alone movies (well, the first two anyway).

990) The level ground at the foot of the Cross.

991) That real heroes don’t wear costumes.

992) The mute button for those annoying TV commercials.

993) The way Lucy the Wonder Kitty purrs when she eats.

994) That while people may argue theology and semantics, no one can argue with a transformed life.

995) The way Jack Cardiff, famous cinematographer, interplayed light and shadow.

996) That God’s not done with me yet.

997) The slow steady rhythms of a Sunday afternoon.

998) Finally being brave enough to take risks and step boldly out in faith.

999) The little children’s book J.R.R. Tolkien wrote called Roverandom about a little toy dog.

1000) That I’ve decided that 1,000 really isn’t enough and there will be more coming soon to a blog near you.

Rise: A Night of Worship and What Came Out Of It

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I went to a very special and unique Kairos event. It was billed as another Night of Worship, but started off very different than any service I’d ever been to before.

It started as a mock funeral. Mike Glenn led somber-faced pallbearers carrying a casket into the sanctuary. He then proceeded to preach a funeral service for Jesus just as he might for any member of the congregation who passed away.

It might seem a bit macabre, but it really brought two points home to me.

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First, the sin I so easily dismiss and take for granted has consequences. As Mike said, sin brings death to everybody every time. In this case, Jesus took the death that should have been mine. Whenever I look lightly at my sin, I need to remember that it cost Jesus his life.

Second, I must never forget the price paid for my life. Jesus thought I was worth every drop of his blood. That means that I have value beyond my income potential or job title or social status. I have value both in being created in God’s image and redeemed by his Son Jesus.

You can’t have Easter Sunday without Good Friday. The resurrection doesn’t mean anything without the cross. The triumph loses its impact without the suffering and the agony that proceeded it. I love what I read earlier today that the cross wasn’t a defeat and the resurrection the victory. The cross was the victory and the resurrection was the icing on the cake, the proof of that victory for the world to see. You need both.

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For me, the worship at the end meant more because I saw what my sin cost Jesus and what great lengths he went through for me because he’d rather go through hell for me than go to heaven without me (to borrow from Max Lucado).

May you and I have the courage to face Good Friday and take every bit of it in and not just skip to Easter Sunday and the happy part. May we never take lightly or for granted the sin that cost Jesus his life or treat as cheap the life he paid the ultimate price to redeem.

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Switching the Price Tags

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I heard a great illustration today, followed by an equally great point. The story follows that on the night before an estate sale, people broke in to the house. Only they didn’t steal anything. They switched the price tags around. The next morning, some people got astoundingly good deals on big-ticket items while others paid way too much for junk.

Isn’t that a picture of contemporary society. The media and culture hold up trinkets as priceless and dismiss treasures as worthless. Sex without love is prized, yet true committed love is trashed. People spend crazy amounts of time and money pursuing fleeting pleasures, but hardly will take the time to seek after eternal joys.

The old saying goes that something’s only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. So how much are you worth?

God showed how much you’re worth by sending his Son Jesus to die for you. That speak volumes about your worth. You are valued far more than any gold or silver or diamonds or bank accounts or lavish mansions. You are priceless.

So don’t ever settle for less. Don’t ever give yourself, your values, your beliefs, your body, your mind, or your health away. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you don’t belong or don’t matter. Don’t believe for a moment the lie that the world would be better off without you in it or that it would have been better off if you had never been born.

God saw you at your worst and thought you were worth every precious drop of his Son’s blood. All of it. He couldn’t pay high enough of a price for you. That’s how much you’re worth.

I’m certainly not claiming any originality for these thoughts. I heard them tonight from a pastor and I’m sure he heard them from someone else. I just want every single person who reads this to know that you are not worthless. You’re priceless.

 

Shiny

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Sometimes, the best theology lessons come from old kid’s TV specials. I saw Rudolph’s Shiny New Year again tonight and was reminded of a few things, thanks to Happy the Baby New Year.

Happy was just like every other baby new year except for one thing. He had big ears. Like Dumbo-sized big ears. And he was ashamed of them.

Whenever he took off his hat, he got laughed at. Even in the Archipelago of Last Years, where you would think people would be more tolerant, considering that they’re stuck in a time warp.

But as in all children’s programming, there’s a good moral lesson. Happy learns that not everybody is making fun of him. Some people are so filled with joy that they can’t help but laugh when they see him. And everything works out in the end, thanks to Rudolph and the gang, not forgetting Santa’s timely arrival.

The happiest people are the most content people. And the most content people are the ones who have learned to accept themselves as they are, not wishing they looked different or that they were somebody else. They have found what makes them tick and what makes them come alive and they are pursuing that.

The key is knowing who you are in Christ. It’s knowing how he sees you, not as a dirty rotten sinner but as a beloved child who was worth dying for. The one he calls precious and beloved.

May the best gift you get this year be the ability to love yourself as you are and the ability to love others the same. May you know how much you are loved by Abba Father himself. May you live out of that love every day.

I recommend watching an old children’s Christmas TV special or two. Especially the old ones. Those are the best.

 

I Made This!

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I made a pumpkin hazelnut cheesecake today.

Normally, I am not a culinary-type. I enjoy good food, but I am normally not a fan of creating new good foods. I’d rather eat someone else’s cooking for the most part.

But I got wild and daring. I found a recipe for pumpkin hazelnut cheesecake online and said to myself (not out loud), “What the heck? Why not?” Even when the recipe called for hazelnut flour, which I was unaware even existed until I saw it in bold letters on the printout.

So I followed the recipe to the letter, step by step, hoping I wouldn’t blow up the kitchen or inadvertently create a new life form out of the ingredients.

It is a good feeling knowing that you have created something. Whether it’s a song or a poem or a book or a photo, it’s an amazing rush knowing that you have put something new out into the universe.

I think that when God made us, he didn’t marvel at his own creative skills. He didn’t prance about the garden of Eden yelling how awesome a job he did. He simply said, “This is very good.”

Get that? He said that YOU are very good. Not because you pull $1 million a year or because you’re in the 100 most beautiful people list. Simply because God made you and liked what he saw.

OK, I’m not sure how I got from cheesecake to theology, but roll with it. Remember that whatever anybody else says about you or how they assess your worth, God has already rated you “very good,” and that is ultimately the only opinion that really matters.

So, enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner. Eat lots of turkey (or tofurkey or chicken or tofu or whatever makes you happy). Get that second helping of dessert. Heck, try ’em all. Holiday calories don’t count (or at least I read that on the internet, so it’s got to be true).

And remember you are precious and unique and chosen by God himself.