self-sufficiency

Whatever Is Necessary

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“The greatest blessing God can give us is to put us in a position where we must trust him. This is our only path to joy. He will do whatever is necessary to disrupt our self-sufficiency and illusion of control” (Jim Dennison).

I find that both terrifying and comforting at the same time.

I’m terrified of “whatever is necessary” and what it might mean to my current level of comfort and familiarity. I pretty much like things to stay the same and not get too crazy. I have my own plans for how my life should go, and I sometimes want God to rubber stamp those plans, and anything else is a bit scary to think about.

But I’m also comforted. When I remember the goodness of God, I can trust that He knows what He’s doing. When I think back on all the times in the past where He’s safely led me through trials, I can see with my eyes of faith God providing for me in the future.

Self-sufficiency and control aren’t just illusions. They’re the default setting of our sin natures. We are born fighting to assert our own will over and against anyone else’s. We learn early how to make a clenched fist and cry if we don’t get our own way.

But learning to let go is harder. Learning to step out from the comfort of solid ground onto thin air is frightening. But the rewards to stepping out in faith into an unknown country as Abraham did so long ago is more than worth the cost. Learning to relinquish my will and to die to self is the most anti-American dream thing I can do but also the most freeing in terms of the kingdom of God.

God, I want what you want, period. At any cost. If it makes me more like You, it’s worth it. Amen.

The Only Path to Joy

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“The greatest blessing God can give us is to put us in a position where we must trust him. This is our only path to joy. He will do whatever is necessary to disrupt our self-sufficiency and illusion of control” (Jim Dennison).

That doesn’t sound like much of a path to joy to me. I can think of a million other ways to joy other than by having my plans thwarted and my comfortable routine altered. In fact, I’d like very much to continue to live under the illusion that I’m in at least a little bit of control over my life.

But what I want isn’t necessarily what’s good for me. If I had the opportunity, I could eat my weight right now in those Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin-shaped thingies. You know what I mean. They’re like the peanut butter cups, only they’re in spooky shapes.

Anyway, as long as I think I’m in control, I will never seek out God. I will continue to do my daily autopilot where I think about God on Sundays but about me for the rest of the week. I will pat myself on the back and think how good I have it made with nary a thank you to God for actually providing everything that’s good in my life.

But when the job goes away, that’s when I have to look up. When there’s a new normal, that’s when I recognize how much I’ve needed God this whole time. I remember that what I really crave beyond all the toys and comforts is what only God can give me — namely, God Himself.

So thank you, God, for all those disruptions. Thanks for shattering my delusions of independence and self-sufficiency into smithereens. Now I can see beyond my own little made-up pretend world to find You there and to find out You’ve been there all along.

For the Third Sunday of Advent

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I’ve invited a special guest for tonight’s blog. Actually, I read something I really liked that he wrote and I wanted to share it with you. It’s from Henri Nouwen and I love it. I hope you will, too.

“Keep your eyes on the prince of peace, the one who doesn’t cling to his divine power; the one who refuses to turn stones into bread, jump from great heights and rule with great power; the one who says, ‘Blessed are the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness; blessed are the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and those who are persecuted in the cause of uprightness’ (see Matt. 5:3-11); the one who touches the lame, the crippled, and the blind; the one who speaks words of forgiveness and encouragement; the one who dies alone, rejected and despised. Keep your eyes on him who becomes poor with the poor, weak with the weak, and who is rejected with the rejected. He is the source of all peace.

Where is this peace to be found? The answer is clear. In weakness. First of all, in our own weakness, in those places of our hearts where we feel most broken, most insecure, most in agony, most afraid. Why there? Because there, our familiar ways of controlling our world are being stripped away; there we are called to let go from doing much, thinking much, and relying on our self-sufficiency. Right there where we are weakest the peace which is not of this world is hidden.

In Adam’s name I say to you, ‘Claim that peace that remains unknown to so many and make it your own. Because with that peace in your heart you will have new eyes to see and new ears to hear and gradually recognize that same peace in places you would have least expected.’

I have nothing to add to that. Except maybe to claim my own weakness and in so doing, that peace which defies human logic and anything the world and hell could ever throw at me.

Boasting in weakness

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

When was the last time I boasted in my weaknesses? I seldom even acknowledge that I have any weaknesses. Usually I try to sell myself on what I consider my best qualities. But weaknesses? I try to hide them or pretend they don’t exist.

I truly believe that there is a power that comes only through weakness and brokenness that will never come through self-reliance or self-sufficiency. Only when I am weak, when I admit to the world that I am weak, then I am strong. And Christ in me is so much stronger than I could ever be.

What if I boasted in the fact that my social skills are slightly better than nonexistent? That I back down when I should stand up? What if I shout to the rooftops that I am weak, helpless, afraid and utterly broken? Maybe then I am at my strongest and the power that raised Christ from the dead is unleashed in me.

This is so very against the culture that it is unthinkable. But aren’t I supposed to be counter-culture? What if we are too busy fitting in and so much like the world that we have completely lost the power that can save the world? Maybe that’s why Christians are so despised. Not because we are different, but because we are not different enough.

A broken world can’t relate to perfect, holier-than-thou Christians who have it all together. They respond when they see what our brokenness looks like and when God’s grace is able to transform our weakness into His strength. Grace is what the world needs, not our perfection.