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#notugly

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“For it’s by God’s grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing. For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago” (Ephesians 2:8-10).

Maybe you don’t like the way you look.

Maybe you have a hard time looking at yourself in the mirror or watching yourself in videos or pictures.

Maybe you’ve felt like no one with eyes could ever be attracted to you.

Maybe you’ve thought to yourself, ” If only I could just lose 20 pounds” “If only I had a different face” “If only I were taller”. . . the list goes on.

Can I share something with you?

God loves you just the way you are. He looks at you and says, “Very good.”

In the above mentioned verses, the Apostle Paul says that we are God’s poiema, His workmanship, His finished product, His masterpiece. I really like how The Voice puts it– “heaven’s poetry etched on lives.”

You are not ugly. You are beautiful because God says so. He looks at you and delights in what He sees. And as the old saying goes, God don’t make no junk.

Remember that the next time you don’t like your own reflection. Remember that you are an image-bearer of God, reflecting a part of God that people will only see when they see you.

You may not be a 10 in the world’s eyes, but never forget that to Jesus, you’re to die for.

A Letter to a Younger Me

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Right now, you don’t like yourself very much. You don’t think anybody else does, either. You don’t like being you and sometimes you wish you could be somebody else. Anybody else. Or maybe it would be better if you didn’t exist at all.

You’re wrong.

You’d be surprised at how many people really do like you. You’d be even more surprised at how many people don’t think badly of you, because they’re too busy with their own pain and insecurity and doubt to have time to think about you that much.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: you be the best you possible. Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. It’s that simple.

You daring to be you is a beautiful thing.

You choosing to be yourself makes God smile because He made you that way and He never makes anything ugly or second-rate or worthless.

So take time to laugh at yourself and be a little crazy, a little goofy, a little uncool. Remember that everything really will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it only means it’s not the end yet.

Fitness Progress Report #1

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I’m starting the second week of my new fitness plan. And I get that I need to come up with a better name than “my new fitness plan.”

So far, my goals are to exercise at least six times a week, eat healthier, i.e. way less sweets, carbs, red meats, etc., and to take those extra small steps that add up to overall better fitness.

By that, I mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Intentionally parking farther away from the store to get those extra few steps in. Drinking water instead of tea for meals. Only eating out once a week.

So far, so good. I don’t say perfect. I could have done better. But this is not about beating myself up if I don’t get it exactly right every time. It’s about doing it better than the last time. After all, every little bit helps and every step counts.

It’s good to have friends who will encourage you and hold you accountable. I have one of those. It’s helped me during those times when I was feeling unmotivated or just plain lazy.

I’m not expecting to drop 50 pounds in one week. For one, that’s unrealistic. Also, if I lost 50 pounds, I’d look funny.

This is not a diet. This is a lifestyle change.

There will be more of these progress reports to come.

Just remember that God loves you no matter what body type you are or whether you love or hate your own body. God loves you regardless of whether you fit the traditional mold of what’s considered beautiful or not. He made you just like you are and think’s you’re to die for.

I just wanted to throw that out there.

For Rosanne* and All The Others Like Her Out There

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*I have changed her name slightly just for the purposes of avoiding embarrassment for anyone involved. And because it sounds and looks cool.

Rosanne,

I’ve been watching you.

I’ve seen how you desperately long for attention from certain guys. You hang around their work areas and act demure and flirty around them. Why?

Maybe you’re looking for affirmation from them. Maybe you’re looking for them to love you.

Who knows?

I know one or two of these guys have pretended to be nice to you and then proceeded to talk about you behind your back. Even call you names like “slut” and “whore.”

It’s sad that people are like that. It makes my heart hurt for you.

Didn’t you know that you have a Man crazy for you? That man is Jesus.

Didn’t you know that you have a Father who adores you and longs to hold you close and sing songs of love over you while you sleep at night?

Didn’t you know that you are not the number of guys you’ve slept with or the number of failed relationships you’ve had?

You are a real-life princess because your Father is a king. The King of the Universe, in fact. God Himself loves you just as you are and not as you should be. Or even as you would like to be.

He wants you. Just you. Even with all your mess and all your scars and all your fears. He wants you to know Him and find out that He really isn’t angry at you for all your mistakes and screw-ups.

God has a man for you who will cherish and respect and love you. A man who will treat you like royalty and not like an object. A man who will be as nice and kind when talking about you as he is when talking to you.

Oh, and one more thing before I forget.

Jesus is for you. God is for you. And I am, too.

I remain, as always, your friend.

What I Want for Christmas in 2013

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You read the title and thought, “Aww, he’s going to wish for things like world peace and global sing-a-longs.” Not really. I have some selfish wants that I’m sharing as well as some (mostly) altruistic wishes. 

1) I would like world peace, but I know the heart of people too well. All I can hope and pray for is peace within the hearts of as many people as possible who are willing to surrender everything to Jesus.

2) One red Mini-Cooper, preferably with white stripes and/or a British flag emblem on the roof and/or on the sideview mirrors.

3) For a personal trainer or someone who will help me get more motivated to live healthier.

4) A MacBook Air ’cause they are so light and fluffy. And because PC laptops are just too slow and clunky.

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5) For each person to see his or her true value in Christ and to know that true beauty comes from being uniquely and marvelously designed by a Creator and loved infinitely.

6) A trip to New England at some point in my life. Ideally in the fall but I’m not picky about when. I would love to try Mystic Pizza🍕 in Mystic, Connecticut and visit a few lighthouses while I’m there. 👍

7) A date with Kari Jobe. 😁 

8) For chocolate to not have fat grams and calories. 🙏

9) Gift cards to amazon.com, Best Buy, Frothy Monkey, iTunes, and Ecko (so I can look swanky).

10) To see every cat and dog in a shelter find loving homes with loving people who will take care of them and treasure them.

11) That stone house in downtown Franklin with the red door that looks so homey.🏡

12) For Concord Road to be four lanes instead of two with a turning lane.

13) A really nifty cowboy hat.

14) Anything I’ve listed on my Amazon wish list.

15) For more kindness and compassion and understanding between people.

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Random Bits of Advice

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It's only moderately tacky but it was also only $5.

It’s only moderately tacky but it was also only $5.

I had a very interesting and unusual day– in a good way. No one died or got laid off or broke any part of their body. I did get off work a bit early and spent some time thrift shopping.

I found some stores on Charlotte Ave near 49th Ave in Nashville. I went in search of THE ultimate tacky Christmas sweater (with moderately successful results) and came away with a few unexpected treasures. Thrift shopping is like that. Life is like that.

I’ve come away with a few tidbits of wisdom I’d like to share:

1) Gravitate toward the people who love you for who you are, who are always happy to see you, who actually want you around, who live out the Gospel in actions and attitudes that reflect the heart of Jesus.

2) Never pass up any opportunities to visit old bookstores. There’s just something magical about being around lots of old books with their musty smells and rich histories that does my heart good. I love my iPad, but nothing beats the feel and smell of a good old book in your hands.

3) When it comes to getting things done versus spending time with people, remember how fragile life is. Chances are very likely most of your to-do list can wait, but those people may not be around tomorrow.

4) Give yourself a break. Objects in your mirror, i. e. you, are not nearly as ugly or goofy or clumsy or hopeless as they appear. There has never and will never be anyone quite like you ever again. That alone makes you special. Unique. Beautiful. Priceless.

There are probably more, but I’m too tired to think of any of them at the moment, so I’ll save them for a later post.

Good night to all my favorite people. That’s means you. Thank you for making my life blessed and amazing and a miracle every single day.

Revisiting the Old Fears

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All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends” (Ann Voskamp).

Sometimes they do come back.

I’m talking about fears. Every so often, you will run into one of those along your path, usually when you least expect it and thought you had dealt with it.

Here’s a few examples.

Someone stops responding to your texts. The fear says, “See? You’ve offended that person in some way. You’ve ruined the relationship and it will never again be the same.”

A good friend moves to another town. “The fear moved in and whispers, “She won’t tell you to your face, but the real reason she moved was to get away from you.”

The one that dogged me for years was this: “Every one will eventually abandon you. Once they’ve seen what you’re really like, they won’t want to have anything more to do with you. They’ll start by growing distant with you and then disappear altogether. Nothing you do matters. No one notices anything you say. You might as well never have been born.”

Or maybe your fear goes like this: “You’re not worth someone’s love. No one could ever be attracted to you. You are repulsive to the opposite sex. You will always be alone.”

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Fear lies. That’s its nature.

Fear doesn’t come from God. Ever. Fear comes from the father of lies and means to keep you from God, imprisoned in your anxieties and phobias

Remember, perfect love casts out fear. And you are perfectly loved, just as you are, not as you should be or could be.

Name the fear. Expose it. Demons die in the light. Rebuke that fear OUT LOUD in the name of Jesus.

You in and of yourself will never defeat fear, but the power of Christ in you has already beaten it once and for all. That power is yours now to claim.

If you’ve allowed yourself to be mastered again to that fear, repent and move forward. Shame is a close relative of fear and is just as bent on keeping you away from God. Shame is also a defeated foe.

You as a child of God fight not for victory but FROM it. Keep that in mind and have a blessed Monday!

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Simple Yet Profound

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I was skimming through the vast ocean of tweets on Twitter and I ran across one that was simple in its concept, yet the more I thought about it the more profound it seemed. I know Twitter is rarely profound, with 99.9% of my own tweets as proof. But I read this little statement and it grabbed hold of me and hasn’t let go since.

“What you behold you become.”

It’s not only profound, but intensely convicting, for it begs the question, “What am I beholding?” followed by the question, “Do I want to become that?”

Am I beholding what the world defines as love, success, contentment, and happiness? I’ve seen enough of reality TV to know that I’m watching a severely skewed version of reality. What passes for love is really lust, what passes for success is greed, what passes for contentment is selfishness, and what passes for happiness is blissful ignorance.

I’m reminded of a verse in 2 Corinthians. Side note: before you start thinking how super-spiritual I am, you should know I had to do a keyword search on biblegateway.com to find this verse.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Transformation happens when we behold the glory of God. When we turn our eyes upon Jesus and look full in his wonderful face, as the old hymn puts it. If you look at Jesus long enough, you can’t help but become like him.

But how much am I looking at Jesus as opposed to everything else there is to see? For me, not nearly enough for real and lasting transformation to take place. I’m too easily distracted by everything around me.

That’s what I need. To look at Jesus more and look in the mirror a little less. To look at God and how he sees me more and the world around me and how they perceive me a little less. That’s where real change for the better lies.

Shiny

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Sometimes, the best theology lessons come from old kid’s TV specials. I saw Rudolph’s Shiny New Year again tonight and was reminded of a few things, thanks to Happy the Baby New Year.

Happy was just like every other baby new year except for one thing. He had big ears. Like Dumbo-sized big ears. And he was ashamed of them.

Whenever he took off his hat, he got laughed at. Even in the Archipelago of Last Years, where you would think people would be more tolerant, considering that they’re stuck in a time warp.

But as in all children’s programming, there’s a good moral lesson. Happy learns that not everybody is making fun of him. Some people are so filled with joy that they can’t help but laugh when they see him. And everything works out in the end, thanks to Rudolph and the gang, not forgetting Santa’s timely arrival.

The happiest people are the most content people. And the most content people are the ones who have learned to accept themselves as they are, not wishing they looked different or that they were somebody else. They have found what makes them tick and what makes them come alive and they are pursuing that.

The key is knowing who you are in Christ. It’s knowing how he sees you, not as a dirty rotten sinner but as a beloved child who was worth dying for. The one he calls precious and beloved.

May the best gift you get this year be the ability to love yourself as you are and the ability to love others the same. May you know how much you are loved by Abba Father himself. May you live out of that love every day.

I recommend watching an old children’s Christmas TV special or two. Especially the old ones. Those are the best.

 

Speaking Life into Each Other

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Have you ever posted something on facebook with one specific person in mind, just hoping that person would read it and comment on it? I have. . . I mean, a friend of mine has. . . . ok, I’m so busted. That was me.

Maybe if you’ve done it, too, you were like me and felt crushed and ignored when said person didn’t comment or even like the post.

I realize now how co-dependent and passive-agressive that was (not to mention somewhat OCD). Looking back, I see just how silly and juvenile that was.

The thing with co-dependency is that you always need to be liked and affirmed and acknowledged. The sad part is no matter how people do, it will never be enough. It’s kinda like a drug, where you need more and more to feel normal.

What I need are friends who will tell me the truth in love.

As I have mentioned before, I am in the healing process. I am finally learning to like me. I can finally stand to look at myself in the mirror. I can finally like being around me.

It’s because I have people around me who speak life and healing and wisdom into me. I have people who see me the way God sees me and help me to see myself that way.

In a conversation with a friend at Starbucks, I had an interesting revelation. My friend said that Hebrews speaks of Jesus as putting a human face on God. Then I got to thinking afterward, maybe you and I put hands and feet to Jesus when we serve each other and those around us in need. When we speak the words of Jesus into each others’ lives.

I am a lot better at not wigging out when people don’t respond to my posts or texts. I get that people have lives and issues other than me and that I can’t realistically demand to be the center of everybody’s attention all the time. That’s not healthy.

But I know that I have God’s full attention 24/7 and that He is speaking to me all the time. Sometimes when I’m alone with my Bible open or sometimes when I’m in a one-on-one conversation with a friend or sometimes through random posts or texts or sightings around town.

I am coming to the point where it’s not about me, but helping people to find their YES in Jesus and come to know and believe about themselves what God says about them and sees in them. That’s my ministry and calling.

May you be as comfortable in silence and solitude as you are in a crowd and learn to love yourself as God does. It is so very freeing.