Friends And All That

I love the TV show Friends. I’ll admit that. I love the characters and how they interact and how while relationships and love interests come and go, that core group of friends remains intact. Well, at least it did for 10 seasons. But it seems that just about everything good comes to and end on this side of heaven.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendship. I know I am still a novice when it comes to being in a friendship that goes beyond the surfacy “How you doin” kind of relationship. I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I try too hard and say the wrong thing or press too hard.

I’m starting to see that not every friendship will last forever. Not every relationship should.

I don’t mean that the relationships are bad or toxic or destructive. I don’t mean that something bad will happen to mess up a good thing.

What I mean is that sometimes God puts people into our lives for a limited time. Some are there for 5 minutes, some for 5 months, some for 5 years and some for 50. That’s just the way God intended it.

I may only have one or two meaningful conversations with you and never see you again, but walk away a better person because of those conversations. That relationship has served its purpose.

It’s not up to me to sustain every one of my relationships. If that person is meant to be in my life, God will keep him or her there. He or she will be around. That’s not to say that I can’t do my part to be supportive and encouraging and a good listener. But I don’t have to worry constantly about ruining the relationship.

Honestly, that epiphany has lifted a proverbial weight off my shoulders. I don’t have the anxiety of worrying if my friends will desert me after they find out what a humongous goober I am. At least I have a lot less anxiety in that regard.

I can only do my part and be the best friend I can. I can’t worry about how the other responds or about how much or how little of an impact I have on the other person. I can try to be Jesus and leave the results to God.

I have an awkward confession to make. I took one of those “Which Friends Character are You Like?” quizzes on facebook a couple of years ago. I was sure I’d be like Ross or maybe even Chandler or possibly Joey. I ended up being most like Phoebe. I never saw that one coming. But I can see that spontaneous free-spirit sometimes. And I do so like smelly cats.

So I can watch re-runs of Friends and be grateful for the friends I have while I have them. So can you.

Ready for Fall

I have had enough of summer weather. There. I’ve said it. No more 95 degree temps, please.

I want some crisp autumn breezes. I want to see leaves changing colors. I want hot apple cider and hot cocoa and bonfires and all those things that come with fall weather.

Not that I don’t like summer. Usually for about 2 weeks, then I start getting tired of being hot and sweaty all the time. And believe me, I do sweat a lot, so it’s not fun.

I think the reason I love fall so much is that it triggers so many good memories for me. I go back to all those marching band trips and high school football games and youth retreats of yore. I remember all those fun Halloweens when I was growing up. I recall Gatlinburg in October when it was cold enough to finally wear a jacket.

I won’t lie. If I could live in a place where the temperature was a steady 72 all year round, I could go for that. Especially someplace near the beach, like San Diego. That would be awesome.

But part of me likes the changing seasons. It’s probably the ADD in me that likes the change.

Most of all, autumn reminds me that after all the leaves have fallen and that winter’s on its way, there will be a spring and a rebirth of all things green. Just like one day there will be a new heaven and a new earth. I hope the new earth has leaves that change colors and fall every year.

I like fall because I am a fan of hope. And fall reminds me that my hope in God won’t be in vain. One day, God will set things right and everything in my life will make sense. One day I will finally be all that God created me to be.

Until then I make do with trusting God for today and enjoying the fall-ish weather we’re having in the Greater Nashville area. It’s lovely.

 

A Christmas letter to my future wife

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I’m still waiting for you. And did I mention the whole “not good at waiting” part? More accurately, how badly I suck at waiting? I’m getting better, but I am still very impatient 95% of the time. But I know that this waiting will not have been in vain when I meet you.

I keep thinking of our firsts– first kiss (obviously), first snow to hold hands and walk together through, first night in front of a roaring fireplace, first time we’re both snuggled under the same blanket. . . . so many firsts that are yet to come. The best part will be that we didn’t give up and settle, but held out and found out that miracles do still come true.

I am leaning to stop looking for you with my eyes, and look for you with my heart. I will look for you not through my own eyes, but more and more through God’s eyes. I want to fall in love with your compassionate heart and your tender spirit. Your beauty will be Jesus inside you shining through for the world to see. Or at least for those who have eyes to see.

Remember no matter what anyone tells you you are, you are a daughter of the King. You are royalty– a princess. Don’t let anyone ever treat you as less. You were worth every drop of Jesus’ blood not because of anything in you, but because Jesus set His heart on you and declared you worthy.

I think I am slowly but surely becoming the man who will capture your heart and be worthy of your love. I have bad days when I strive and fail and I have days full of grace when I am finally weak enough to let Jesus do it all. That’s all I can do.

I am thanking Jesus for you in advance and thanking you in advance for being faithful to Jesus and never giving up on me. I’ll be thinking of you a lot this Christmas.