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Whatever Is Necessary

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“The greatest blessing God can give us is to put us in a position where we must trust him. This is our only path to joy. He will do whatever is necessary to disrupt our self-sufficiency and illusion of control” (Jim Dennison).

I find that both terrifying and comforting at the same time.

I’m terrified of “whatever is necessary” and what it might mean to my current level of comfort and familiarity. I pretty much like things to stay the same and not get too crazy. I have my own plans for how my life should go, and I sometimes want God to rubber stamp those plans, and anything else is a bit scary to think about.

But I’m also comforted. When I remember the goodness of God, I can trust that He knows what He’s doing. When I think back on all the times in the past where He’s safely led me through trials, I can see with my eyes of faith God providing for me in the future.

Self-sufficiency and control aren’t just illusions. They’re the default setting of our sin natures. We are born fighting to assert our own will over and against anyone else’s. We learn early how to make a clenched fist and cry if we don’t get our own way.

But learning to let go is harder. Learning to step out from the comfort of solid ground onto thin air is frightening. But the rewards to stepping out in faith into an unknown country as Abraham did so long ago is more than worth the cost. Learning to relinquish my will and to die to self is the most anti-American dream thing I can do but also the most freeing in terms of the kingdom of God.

God, I want what you want, period. At any cost. If it makes me more like You, it’s worth it. Amen.

It’s Summer Solstice Again

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“It must have been the summer solstice
When I first gave my heart to You
The first day of a brand new season
In a fevered passion for Your simple truth
It was the longest I’d ever felt for anything
And it gave my soul a song to sing . . . .

And with the spring comes the thaw
Melting my heart reviving all
It comes full circle and then
It’s summer solstice again

So can You throw Your arms around me and walk me home
I’ve wandered off way too far for way too long
And standing broken in this wilderness of shame
I have found my only strength is in your name
Oh, Father please can You undo what I’ve done
And get me back to square one

Back to the summer solstice

Take me back

I wanna go back” (Wayne Kirkpatrick, recorded by Susan Ashton).

Yes, it is summer solstice again. It’s officially the longest day of the year in terms of having the most daylight.

This one was hot. As in even standing in the shade, I was still sweating like the pig that knows he’s about to be bacon.

It felt like I was standing in front of an oven, only there was no aroma of anything baking, except maybe me.

Summer always makes me nostalgic for days I can never get back. It makes me miss people I will never see again in this lifetime.

I’m thinking about all those Johnson family reunions we used to have where all the cousins would make the drive down to Christiana, Tennessee and bring buckets of fried chicken (along with a multitude of casseroles and other foods) and tell stories of yesteryear. I miss those.

It’s easy to want to look back when you can’t really see what’s ahead, to long for the past when the future seems uncertain and scary.

That’s where a lot of us are right now. We’re holding on to what we know, what we can feel with our hands and see with our eyes and make sense of with our minds. We cling to the tangible, even if it’s what’s holding us back from becoming what God destined us to become.

Maybe faith is letting go of  those things and reaching out into the unknown with only the assurance that God will be there.

I love what G. K. Chesterton said: “Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”

So here’s to hope, which is possibly the best thing going right now.

Hope is a good thing.

 

 

 

 

Things I Love 11: Top That, Freddy Krueger and Jason Vorhees

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island hammock

I now have passed into legendary status in this series. Not even movie slashers Freddy Krueger or Jason Vorhees had more than nine sequels (even counting the one they were in together, which I consider cheating). That goes to show that there are really way more good things than bad things out there if you only look hard enough and with the right set of eyes.

That being said, we’ll kick off this list at #239:

239) Driving home after a good night of community group with music playing loud and absolutely no idea of where you are (and not caring).

240) Vegetables off the grill.

241) Giving myself permission to vent, to go a little crazy, and to be in the moment, no matter how painful it may be.

242) That whenever Lucy my cat hears my car coming up the driveway, she goes to the front door and waits for me.

243) On nights like this, gratitude for not having a night shift job.

244) That I’m not (nor will I ever be) married to any of the Kardashians.

245) Authentic conversations with friends at 10 pm.

246) That God only needs the tiniest place to start in my life to do something amazing.

247) That unexpected two-hour nap on a Sunday afternoon when I only meant to lie down and rest my eyes for a second.

248) Knowing that God’s “no”s always mean a much bigger “yes” down the road.

249) Singing to the very top of my lungs with the song playing on my car radio and not caring if I sound scary.

250) Finding the freedom to forgive myself for being myself.

251) In those moments when I can truly love being me.

252) Those spontaneous Saturday nights in downtown Franklin (like the one I’m planning for tomorrow).

253) People who refuse to give up on me even when they should.

254) Finding the perfect card for someone’s birthday.

255) Knowing that my Abba rejoices over me, sings over me, and dances with joy over me.

256) The almost-euphoric feeling after I realize that a bad headache is gone.

257) Jennifer Anniston.

258) The clean smell of the air after a thunderstorm.

259) Not having to wake up at 5 am in the morning.

260) That I’m already 1/4 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love/am grateful for/receive as gifts from God.

261) Chocolate Cheerios.

262) Eating dessert first.

263) Eating dessert as a meal.

Look for the next installment, cleverly entitled Things I Love 12, sometime tomorrow.