Imaginary Girlfriends and Other Odd Topics

Yeah, I heard about Manti Te’o’s imaginary girlfriend. I don’t know (and I don’t care) if he was in on the hoax or not. I’m not even sure what the point was. In fact, the more I think about it, the more it makes me want to lie down and take a nap.

But if I had an imaginary girlfriend, she’d look a lot like Zooey Deschanel. Or possibly Grace Kelly (if we’re allowed to use dead celebrities). And knowing my luck, I’d fool exactly no one. But she’d be pretty.

It seems to me that there are so much more out there that’s news-worthy. Imaginary girlfriend hoaxes strike me as being tabloid fodder more than actual news stories. But then again, I am not in charge of what is considered news.

That’s why I like my television to be as unrealistic as possible. Reality is too weird. I’ll stick to aliens and vampires and zombies and alternate universes. You know, the normal stuff. I avoid reality television shows like the plague and am drawn to shows like The X-Files and Charmed and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Revolution (I do like some current series).

There’s not really a moral lesson in all this. Well, maybe this. I have enough trouble keeping my own life in line without worrying about other people’s issues. I certainly can’t cast any stones when I see my own long list of past mistakes and stupid choices.

I’m not quick to jump on the moral superiority bandwagon and bash those who’ve lied or cheated or messed up in some way. Who knows? I might have done the same or worse in a similar predicament.

I’d better end this quickly. My imaginary (and pretty) girlfriend just texted me and wants to set up a skype session. Now, I’m thinking she looks like Selma Hayek.

PS I’ve changed my mind again for the last time. Introducing my imaginary girlfriend whom I text every night. We are so very close, in a completely virtual way.

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Revolution, Anyone?

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I wonder what would happen if I ever ended up in a scenario like the TV show Revolution (on Mondays at 9/8 CST on NBC– shameless plug). The premise of the show is that all the power in the world has gone out and no one knows why and no one knows how to fix it. Everybody reverts to the pre-electricity days where you traveled by foot or by horse and took a long time to get anywhere. And everybody fights with swords and crossbows and throwing rocks and such.

If my internet doesn’t work right, I don’t know what to do with myself. Mostly, I stare at the wireless router, as if somehow willing it to work with the powers of my mind. Apparently, my extra-sensory powers were off today, because that didn’t work at all.

Sometimes, I think it would be nice to be without all the gadgets and devices. You know, those things that were supposed to be time-saving, but ended up being time-sucking instead. Most people seem to have their smart phones surgically attached and can’t go 15 second without pulling it out to check email of facebook (or to see if a certain ragamuffin has posted yet another awesome blog– another shameless plug).

I think life would be simpler. We’d actually have to communicate the old fashioned way– with words. Spoken words. Written words. The kind that people used for several thousands of years.

Don’t get me wrong. I love me some technology. That doesn’t mean I’m techno-savvy by any means. If my fail-safe fix-all solution, i.e. unplug, wait 30 seconds, and plug back in, doesn’t work, I’m out of ideas.

But if technology goes away tomorrow, I’d be okay. I’ve got enough books I haven’t read yet to keep me going until I’m at least 290. I really think I could learn to get used to walking to places instead of always getting in the car. I’d be a lot healthier.

All this comes from me on my laptop on my wireless connection. The irony is not lost on me.