Dangerous Prayers

Tonight at Kairos, Aaron Bryant taught about one of the most dangerous prayers you can pray: Lord, take me. Lord, I surrender to You.

I know from experience some of the most dangerous prayers I’ve prayed have been when I asked for patience and when I prayed, “Thy will be done.”

The joke is that you should never pray for patience unless you want what little patience you already have to be supremely tested. If you do pray for patience, you will find out just how impatient you really are. God will bring people into your life that bring out the worst in you and put you in situations that make you wanna cuss. But in all of that, God is slowly changing you so that you are slightly more patient today than you were a week ago.

I’ve found that when you pray, “Thy will be done,” you are also praying, “My will be undone.” I learned that from one of the wisest women and authors I have ever come across, Elisabeth Elliot. To pray, “Thy will be done,” means I am willing to let go of some cherished dreams and plans and goals if they aren’t a part of God’s will. It means to have desires denied and longings go unfulfilled sometimes, but it means that for every thing I give up, I gain something 1000 times better.

Still, the hardest prayer right now for me to pray is, “Lord, I surrender.” Even now there’s a fear that God isn’t really for me and won’t do what’s best for me if I give up control. There’s the illusion that my plans really are better than God’s plans.

Ultimately, I only have to look back at my life to see those aren’t true at all. God has never been anything but good to me. God has always been for me and God has never ever done anything less than the very best for me.

I guess as long as I have my old nature still hanging around and my self-will still battling for control, surrender will never be an easy thing to do. But to borrow a quote from the Soul Surfer movie, right now I don’t want easy; I just want possible.

My Last Day on Earth

I was thinking about the shootings at the movie theatre in Colorado today. Not in a morbid way. I was thinking what if I was one of those 12 people who went into the theatre to see The Dark Knight Rises, never realizing that my life was about to end.

What if I knew that today was my last day? How would it change how I lived?

I know I’d be more forgiving and understanding of others, far less quick to pass judgments and far more eager to give grace and the benefit of the doubt. I’d be more forgiving of myself when I do and say stupid stuff.

I’d spend less time getting the to-do list checked off and much more time hanging out with the people who matter to me.

I’d be braver and take more chances. Probably not sky-diving or bull-riding, but I’d do at least one thing that I’d been scared of doing before.

I’d appreciate the people in my life who have really been my friends and family and who have loved me when I wasn’t too easy to love and supported and encouraged me when I needed it most.

I’d make every effort to let the people in my life know how much they meant to me and how grateful I was for them, because no tomorrow is guaranteed for me or for anyone else. I would never assume that people know how special and uniquely-created they are; I’d tell them.

I’d be a lot more thankful for the little things in my life like the sun rising every morning, the flowers that bloom every spring, the sweet scent of summer air that takes me back to my childhood. I’d say “Thank you, God,” a lot more and really mean it.

What if I lived every day of the rest of the life God gives me as if it were my last day?

 

Conflicted But in a Good Way . . .

I’m feeling a bit conflicted at the moment, but in the best way possible. Right now, you’re probably feeling confused, so let me explain.

I’m very sad that a friend of mine is leaving for overseas missions tomorrow and I won’t get to see her for a while, but I’m filled with joy that she is fulfilling God’s call on her life and going to a place where her deep gladness will meet the world’s deep need and lives will be transformed and changed and a country will never be the same because of her (and I “borrowed” part of that from Frederick Buechner, for the record).

I’m unsure of my next step, but confident that the God I serve is more than able to get me there. Since I lost my job, I’ve felt as if I’m free-floating without an anchor to hold on to or to keep me centered, yet I’ve never had more peace that God really is in control and guiding me toward exactly where He wants me to be.

I’ve never been in a place where I’m more keenly aware of my deep need for God at every waking moment, but I’ve never been more sure of God’s goodness or power. I’ve never been as able and willing to boast in my weaknesses to find that the power of Christ really is made perfect in my imperfections.

Ultimately, I am filled with a longing that nothing in this world can satisfy, yet at the very same time,  I am completely satisfied in Christ and content with where He has me.

What about you?

Being the Best You Possible

If you’ve always been comfortable in your own skin and never had any doubts as to your identity, then this blog’s probably not for you. If you’ve always liked yourself and always been supremely confident in God’s design of you then you can skip the rest of this.

For the rest of us, we know what it’s like to feel like God made a mistake when He made us. We know what it’s like to wish with all our might that we could be someone else, if only for 24 hours.

We’ve tried to be what we thought everyone else wanted us to be. We tried to be popular and witty and sarcastic and occassionally mean if we thought certain people would like us more.

Here’s my word for you tonight: God not only loves you but He likes you.

He knew exactly what He was doing when He made you and He knew that the world needed you exactly as you are. He knows that when you finally come alive to who God made you to be, people will notice and be drawn to your Creator.

Maybe you wished with everything in you that you could just be normal for once, like everybody else. God didn’t make you to be normal or average or status quo. He made you to be extraordinary and to shine like only you can.

So be happy with you. Be thankful for all the gifts and talents you have. Even boast in your weaknesses, as the apostle Paul said, for in those very weaknesses Christ’s power is perfected in you.

Someone out there right now needs to see you being you. Someone out there needs to know that you are learning to be comfortable in the skin God gave you. Someone will find healing when they see the healing in you that only God could have done.

So go out there and be the best you that you can be.

Set Free

I’ve been really privileged and blessed to be able to participate in a Vacation Bible School being held at Set Free Church in downtown Nashville.

Set Free Church is a ministry that reaches out to homeless men in Nashville and offers an intense live-in discipleship program for those who are trying to get cleaned up and put their lives back together. They also minister to the needs of the families in the nearby neighborhood with Wednesday night meals and various outreach programs throughout the year, as well as Sunday morning services each week.

To me, they are a light in a dark place. I see a place where the Spirit of God is moving and lives are being changed and families transformed by the amazing power of God.

The pastor himself is a formerly homeless man who can testify to God’s sovereign power to reach out to those that everyone else has given up on and to make those people into trophies of grace that tell of the awesome saving power of Jesus.

I see the Gospel as the story of how God in Jesus came down to set the captives free and to proclaim liberty to those in bondage to darkness and sin. This church is the Gospel lived out in flesh and blood with hands and feet on a daily basis.

I’m so thankful I get to be a part of what God is doing in downtown Nashville. I try to serve and to be a blessing there, but I always end up being far more blessed and receive so much more than I give.

Pray for these men and women who are on the frontlines of a very great spiritual battle. Pray that the neighborhood would see Jesus in them and be drawn to what they see.

I know for certain that there will be a multitude of people in heaven because of their faithfulness.

Westboro Baptist: Who Are We Against, Really?

I was thinking today about the announcement that the infamous Westboro Baptist Church was picketing a church I’ve attended in the past. Apparently, this church was much too tolerant about forgiving sinners and extending grace.

That made me think. Who am I against? Who is my enemy? And the question that I can’t get over: Are we really supposed to be against anybody?

This is my own belief and is no way affiliated with anybody else, but here goes. I don’t think we’re supposed to be against anybody.

Think about it. The Bible tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood people, but against spiritual forces and demonic powers. I can’t find it anywhere in my Bible where I am supposed to hate a particular group simply because they behave and believe differently than I do.

The Bible says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. It says to go out of your way to serve and minister to them the same way Christ did. The Bible says nothing about picketing and name-calling and verbally attacking.

A pastor I greatly admire said that you don’t fight fire with fire. You fight it with water. You don’t fight hate with more hate, but with a love that is stronger than any hate. A love that is stronger than all the political powers and all the weapons of the world and all the special-interest groups. A love stronger than fear. A love stronger than even death, the grave, and hell.

God never called me to go out and correct someone’s lifestyle. He never called me to go out and point out all the reasons they’re going to hell. He told me to go out and proclaim the good news– that there is hope for the hopeless, healing for the broken, and salvation for those who can’t ever get it right and are stuck in sin.

I believe we’re even called to show grace to the legalists and Pharisees who themselves don’t believe in or practice grace.

What am I against? I’m against the lies that keep people in bondage. I’m against any kind of hate that condemns a person that Jesus came to save. I’m against reducing the beautiful Story God has written over thousands of years to a pithy phrase that fits on a bumper sticker or a picket sign.

What am I for? Grace. Because I above all people need it. Because I have received it and know how good it feels to be forgiven and free. Because I want every single person out there to know that feeling, too.

I’m just a nobody [in the world’s eyes] trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. That’s all.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Someone asked me how I was today and my answer was “Blessed.” Normally, I say, “Fine” or “Okay”, but for some reason I felt compelled to say “Blessed” tonight.

Maybe it’s because I am blessed. I may not have a job and I may be perennially stuck on being single, but I have some great friends and I serve an even greater God who chose me and called me by name and loves me in spite of all the dumb things I do on a daily basis.

I think about Peter and how Jesus called him out to walk on water. Most people fault Peter for giving into fear and sinking, but the fact that Peter took a huge step of faith toward Jesus has to count for something. At least with me.

I’m thinking about something Mike Glenn said at Kairos tonight. He said you know it’s really God calling you when it’s something that you can’t do on your own. Like walking on water. Or going halfway around the world to serve as a missionary. Or just being faithful to Jesus where you are.

This season has been rough for me, but I have found healing and grace like I’ve never known before, both from the people around me and from God. I have seen shackles of fear and doubt fall away and found how awesome it is to walk in freedom, no longer captive to the need to please others.

I have found that the best moments in life aren’t the ones you plan for, but those you never would expect. Like the old song says, “You can’t always get what you want, but you find sometimes you get what you need.”

The more I live the more in awe of God I am. The more I see my desperate need of everything He is. The more I can truly lift my hands in worship. The more I can hold the people and things in my life with open hands and not clenched fists.

The more I know that everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

 

He Has Overcome

I was listening to my favorite worship song in the car on the way home tonight. The song is “Take Heart” by Hillsong United. The part I love is at the end where they sing about how God has over come all our troubles and all our tears, all our failures and all our fears, and so forth.

My word for you tonight is that whatever you’re facing, whatever is holding you back, whatever is keeping you from fully realizing the peace and joy in Christ, God has already overcome.

If you’re afraid of running off your friends or screwing up your relationships beyond repair, God has already overcome.

If you’re afraid that you will always be bound by the same self-defeating thoughts, God has already overcome.

If you can’t find hope anywhere in sight and are on the verge of giving up and giving in, God has already overcome.

If you can’t find the faith to pray for another or even for yourself for healing of any kind, God has already overcome.

If you feel like every dream and desire of your heart gets thwarted and nothing will ever go the way you want it to, God has already overcome.

If you feel lost in the dark and wonder if the night will ever end for you and if you will ever see daylight again, God has already overcome.

If you feel like all you’ve done is in vain and that nobody notices or cares, God has already overcome.

So take heart, friend. His love will get you through until you see with your own eyes the triumph of our God over every obstacle, every foe, every enemy, and everything you will ever face.

A Desparate Prayer

Have you ever been to a party and found out you were being socially awkward? Did you feel like you were trying too hard and forcing conversation and you imagined the other person was like, “Please, just stop talking before you hurt yourself”? Did you think to yourself, “Wow. Did I really just say that? What the heck?” and find that you couldn’t make yourself stop?

Have you ever felt like you were forcing a friendship or other relationship instead of letting God guide it in His own way? Did you feel that even you knew that God’s plan for the relationship was better that you couldn’t stop trying to take control?

Have you ever felt like no matter how you jumped through all the religious hoops, you never could pray enough or evangelize enough or worship loud enough to meet the exacting standards?

Then you probably know what the tax-collector felt when he prayed, “God, be merciful to me, the sinner.”

Note: He didn’t say that he was a sinner, one among many, but the sinner. Not just someone who messes up, but isn’t as bad as others, but the chief of sinners. That’s from the Greek.

Guess what? When you can pray that prayer and mean it, you are truly set free.

You are set free from trying to earn God’s approval, as well as the approval of others. You find that approval is already yours through the finished work of Jesus Christ. You find that you are good enough, because God says you are good enough.

If you’ve ever gone through a season where you can see your own brokenness, then you know that sometimes the only words you can find to pray are “Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.”

God says that He is close to the cries of the broken-hearted, those who know they don’t have what it takes in and of themselves. His strength is still made complete when we confess that we are weak and not only confess, but boast in that very weakness.

May that be your prayer today. “God, be merciful to me, the sinner.”

And go to fellowshipnashville.org to check out the sermon on which most of this was based. It’s amazing.

What If?

I got to thinking today about being radical. I know it gets painted with a bad brush because of how many are radical in wrong and harmful ways, but what if we were known as radical Christ-followers?

What if we really did love each other deeply and compassionately just as Christ loved us, not just in words and promises, but in actions and random acts of kindness and blessing toward each other daily?

What if we decided that a tithe wasn’t enough and gave everything– not just our money and possessions, but our futures, our dreams, our goals, our lives, and even our bodies– to Jesus for Him to use in whatever way He saw fit?

What if we put down the picket signs and walked across the line to love those people we don’t agree with and show them the real Jesus who ate and drank and hung out with tax-collectors, outcasts, and whores and show them His radical love for them?

What if we stopped trying to take back a country and started trying to advance a Kingdom and to tell the world that the rightful King is coming to make every wrong right again?

What if instead of expecting sinners to confess to us, we confessed to them that we haven’t always preached and taught and lived the grace that can save them and we’ve missed it when it comes to being what Jesus was about– loving the least of these that no one else will love and being Jesus to them?

What if we actually lived out the Bible– all of it, and not just the parts that we like and make us feel comfortable and superior and holier-than-thou– and were doers and not only hearers of God’s Word?

What if we made today Day 1 of Year 1 of the new beginning of a new kind of follower of Jesus who knows he’s broken but knows that He’s been shown incredible grace and lives out the Love that overcomes hate, fear, sin, death, and the grave?