relationships

Autumn Grace

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After church today, I ate lunch at one of my favorite restaurants in Nashville, Taco Mamasita. The weather was nice enough for me to sit outside, with a breeze just chilly enough to remind me that it was still fall. The kind that carries with it reminders of a summer past and a winter still to come.

Moments like these are good reminders that while it’s easy to lose perspective and focus on all the things I don’t have, life really is comprised of the small unexpected moments like this where I realize that I’m blessed to be alive and healthy enough to enjoy them.

I didn’t mind parking a couple of blocks away, because it was a perfect day for a walk. My only regret was not having my camera with me to capture the moment. As I took in the variety of colors of autumn leaves, I was reminded again that life is so transitory and precious to be taken for granted. The same goes for relationships. You can never go back and say the words you meant to say to someone if you don’t take the time to say them now.

If you go to Taco Mamasita’s, I recommend ordering the Caribbean Jerk taco with a side of Chipotle Turnip Greens. But honestly, you can’t go wrong with anything you order there. Yeah, it’s that good.

Take advantage of the fall weather while it’s still around. Go for a walk and breathe deep the autumn air and be thankful that you woke up today. Be thankful for the people in your life and make a point to let them know you’re grateful.

I’m thinking the next time I go there, I might try the General Homeboy taco (eventually, I hope to try everything on the menu at least once). Hopefully sooner than later. Only the next time, I’ll take my camera along.

Not Forgotten

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Do you ever sometimes feel like your friends have forgotten that you exist? Does it seem that they can make time for other friends but not for you? Do you feel ignored?

First of all, know that you are not alone. Many people have felt this way from time to time (including me).

Second of all, remember that it’s probably not a good thing to overthink it, especially late at night, because when you’re tired, you don’t think as clearly and things seem worse than they really are. Innocent remarks can take on sinister undertones at 2 am.

Third of all, God has not forgotten you. When you seem most alone, God still knows who you are and where you are. He knows your name, your true name, that no one else but he and you know. You are still on his mind and there is not a moment that goes by where he doesn’t think of you and love you and root for you.

So, if you’re having trouble sleeping tonight (like me), try some warm milk. Meditate not on what feels like the abandonment of your friends, but on the promises of God for you which are as good as done.

 

 

 

Beauty and the Beholder

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Somehow, it seems to me that we’ve gotten it all wrong when it comes to romantic love. We look for the most attractive person we can find and hope that the attraction will lead to love.

But I think it’s just the opposite. Being loved makes you beautiful.

Think of the ultimate love that God has for us. His love calls out in us our best selves. His love calls out in us life and beauty and strength and wisdom.

If we are his children, then we can call those things out in each other, I think.

I heard a story of a guy who married a girl no one would ever have thought of as beautiful. But day after day, he called beauty out in her by telling her how lovely she was. In time, she came to be as lovely as he always said she was.

Ultimately, it’s not being lovable and lovely that brings us love. It’s in being loved that makes us lovable and lovely, as supremely evidenced in the transforming work of God’s love in us.

True beauty is beauty that lasts. It shows itself in kindness, gentleness, self-control, joy, peace, patience, and in so many other ways. It’s more than physical attractiveness which fades with the years. It’s about a beauty that’s within that shines out through a smile and a glowing countenance.

All this came from a movie. You may or may not have heard of it, but it’s called Enchanted Cottage and it’s about a man disfigured by war and a woman who is considered homely by just about everybody else, but love brings them together. Through looking with the eyes of their hearts, they come to see each other as handsome and beautiful.

That’s the way God has always seen you and me. May we as we grow in the love of God come to see each other that way.

Stardust and Thoughts About True Love

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I’m no expert on love. At least not the romantic kind.

I do think that while movies often get love wrong, sometimes they hit the nail on the head when it comes to what true love really looks like.

In Stardust, one of the main characters talks about love. She says that true love is unexpected, uncontrollable, and very often can be mistaken for loathing. I don’t know about that.

She also says that true love should be unconditional. You shouldn’t have to earn it or prove it. I think she’s right.

True love is when someone loves you for just you. Not who you might one day become or who you hope to be. True love doesn’t wait until you measure up or get all your flaws fixed.

I know enough to know that love isn’t all moonlit walks on the beach and candlelight dinners. Love is work, because love is an active verb that requires action. Love transcends emotions and does the best for the beloved, regardless of whether it feels like it or not.

Love is God becoming a man to take my place in a punishment my sins deserved to die a death that should have been mine. Love says that I was worth it. Love not only said it, but backed it up on a cross.

Sometimes, love isn’t pretty. Sometimes, love means laying down your life for someone else. Even if that means a gory death on an instrument of torture. We romanticize Jesus’ death on the cross to make it more palatable, but it was anything but. It was messy, it was shameful, it was horrific.

And it was for us. That’s the ultimate example of true unconditional love that has been or ever will be.

That’s the kind of love I want to receive. That’s the kind of love I want to show.

Mourning a Friend

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I found this in the preface of a book I bought for $3. I thought it spoke so beautifully to those who have had to say goodbye to loved ones this side of heaven. I believe it’s by Charles Wesley and I hope it speaks to you the way it did to me:

“If death my friend and me divide,
Thou dost not, Lord, my sorrow chide,
Or frown my tears to see;
Restrained from passionate excess,
Thou bidst me mourn in calm distress
For them that rest in Thee.

I feel a strong immortal hope,
Which bears my mournful spirit up
Beneath its mountain load;
Redeemed from death, and grief, and pain,
I soon shall find my friend again
Within the arms of God.

Pass a few fleeting moments more
And death the blessing shall restore
Which death has snatched away;
For me Thou wilt the summons send,
And give me back my parted friend
In that eternal day.”

The Love of God

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“Take your human feelings, multiply them exponentially into infinity, and you will have a hint of the love of God revealed by and in Jesus Christ.” (Brennan Manning)

I love what I heard tonight from Kairos. True unconditional love, the kind of love that God has for us, transcends emotions and feelings. It is driven by devotion and commitment. It sacrifices everything for the sake of the beloved to bring out the best in him or her. The kind of love God has for me.

I may not ever have a million followers on twitter. I may never get 100 likes on a facebook post. I may never be known outside of a small circle of family and friends.

But the one thing that boggles my mind, the one thing too incredible to believe, yet still true, is this. The God over the entire universe knows my name. The Creator and Sustainer of all life knows who I am and where I am and what I’m going through. And he loves me.

My God loves me. My Abba Father is very fond of me. That alone gives me worth and meaning and validates my very existence. That alone is enough for me.

Imagine the purest love you have ever received in your life. Take that love and multiply it a thousand times. A million times. Multiply it exponentially. That begins to hint at how much God loves you.

Imagine that love that never wavers, never grows cold, never varies in the least, but remains constant all the time. A love that is 100% 24/7. That is the love of God for you. For me.

If I had one wish tonight, it would be that you know to the very core of your being this incredible love God has for you and that you receive it and believe it with everything in you. That you hang onto that great Love no matter what, knowing that this God works all things together for good to whose who love him and are called according to his purpose.

Friends And All That

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I love the TV show Friends. I’ll admit that. I love the characters and how they interact and how while relationships and love interests come and go, that core group of friends remains intact. Well, at least it did for 10 seasons. But it seems that just about everything good comes to and end on this side of heaven.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendship. I know I am still a novice when it comes to being in a friendship that goes beyond the surfacy “How you doin” kind of relationship. I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I try too hard and say the wrong thing or press too hard.

I’m starting to see that not every friendship will last forever. Not every relationship should.

I don’t mean that the relationships are bad or toxic or destructive. I don’t mean that something bad will happen to mess up a good thing.

What I mean is that sometimes God puts people into our lives for a limited time. Some are there for 5 minutes, some for 5 months, some for 5 years and some for 50. That’s just the way God intended it.

I may only have one or two meaningful conversations with you and never see you again, but walk away a better person because of those conversations. That relationship has served its purpose.

It’s not up to me to sustain every one of my relationships. If that person is meant to be in my life, God will keep him or her there. He or she will be around. That’s not to say that I can’t do my part to be supportive and encouraging and a good listener. But I don’t have to worry constantly about ruining the relationship.

Honestly, that epiphany has lifted a proverbial weight off my shoulders. I don’t have the anxiety of worrying if my friends will desert me after they find out what a humongous goober I am. At least I have a lot less anxiety in that regard.

I can only do my part and be the best friend I can. I can’t worry about how the other responds or about how much or how little of an impact I have on the other person. I can try to be Jesus and leave the results to God.

I have an awkward confession to make. I took one of those “Which Friends Character are You Like?” quizzes on facebook a couple of years ago. I was sure I’d be like Ross or maybe even Chandler or possibly Joey. I ended up being most like Phoebe. I never saw that one coming. But I can see that spontaneous free-spirit sometimes. And I do so like smelly cats.

So I can watch re-runs of Friends and be grateful for the friends I have while I have them. So can you.

Fueled by Joy

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I’ve been thinking about gas a lot lately. I mean the kind you put in your car, not the kind so prominently featured in the Ace Ventura movies or in the ads for Gas-X. This is a family blog, people.

I keep waiting to see one of these signs in front of the nearest Shell gas station (or Exxon or BP or any of the others, for that matter).

I’ve also been thinking about something a friend of mine posted a lot. What if we could run our cars not on gasoline, but on joy? How far could we get and what kind of exhaust would we leave behind?

Maybe that’s not so far-fetched as it sounds. Maybe what the world around us needs to see are lives fueled by joy. Not happiness which comes and goes on a whim and is affected by every little change in circumstance, but joy which God promised us as believers would be made complete in us and remain in us.

How many people in your life are known for being joyful people? Aren’t those the kind of people you gravitate toward? Aren’t those the people you secretly envy at times and wish you could be more like?

Those full of joy, running on the promises of God and powered by the Spirit living inside of them, leave behind an exhaust of peace. They leave behind love. They leave behind patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Most of all, they leave behind more joy, because true joy is infectious and lasting.

You won’t get far fueled by fear. You might get where you’re going fueled by hate, but you destroy yourself in the process. You’ll go nowhere fueled by the need to please everybody or the need to have everyone like and admire you. The best fuel on the market for running your life comes out of pure joy that you can only get from living in the abundant overflow of God’s unconditional love for you and believing His promises about and for you.

So choose to fuel up on joy. You won’t regret it for one single, solitary second.

The Broken-Hearted God

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“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Things I’m thankful for

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If you’ve been keeping up with my facebook posts, this might be a bit of a re-run for you. At least most of it.

I’ve compiled an extensive list of things I’m thankful for, some frivolous, some serious, some in-between. You be the judge. I’m thankful

1) For orange tic-tacs (ever since I saw the movie Juno).

2) For unending and unfailing grace.

3) For the tortilla soup at Chuy’s that I can’t get enough of.

4) For God’s track-record of faithfulness, especially in the times when I’ve been faithless.

5) For chai frappachinos from Starbucks with caramel drizzle (and cinnamon sprinkled on top as an added bonus).

6) For friends who have stood by me when others might have given up and written me off as a lost cause.

7) For coconut water, because once you’ve tried it, you’re hooked.

8) For new mercies every morning.

9) Chocolate in all its wonderful and glorious forms– and yes, I am aware that today is National Milk Chocolate Day.

10) The day Jesus rescued me.

11) That it’s currently not 111 degrees outside. And for air-conditioning inside.

12) That one day God will make everything right again and turn the world right-side up.

13) For spam in a can, ’cause it’s brilliant.

14) That I’m not who I was and I’m not yet who I will be.

15) That every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings (attaboy, Clarence!)

16) That every time I fall down or fail big, I get a second chance and a clean slate.

17) For the chicken cobb avocado salad at Panera Bread on Old Hickory Blvd in front of Target.

18) For every single word of encouragement or blessing or edification or correction spoken over me by family and friends. You didn’t realize it, but God was speaking through you to me to make me more like Jesus.

I could think of about a 1,000 more reasons to be thankful, but I’ll save those for future blogs. When you live with eyes and heart and hands wide open, you can’t help but be grateful and thankful all the time. You can’t help but see blessings everywhere.

So what are you thankful for?