It’s All About Perspective

You know what it’s like to be around people who constantly focus on everything negative. In any given situation, you can always count on these people to find something wrong or where it’s good now but it might rain or storm tomorrow. At times, we’ve probably all been that person depending on how much sleep we got last night or the enchiladas we had for lunch that aren’t agreeing with us.

But being around people who are constantly negative is draining. You find yourself being pulled into a kind of Pit of Despair when the person you’re talking to is complaining nonstop and has next to nothing positive to say about anything.

As I’ve mentioned numerous times, I think the key is perspective. And what helps your perspective more than anything is cultivating an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful can change the way you see your world.

I get that some people seem to have more than their fair share of bad luck or rotten circumstances. Some people never seem to get any breaks. For some, I really think that a negative outlook leads to a negative outcome in a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy kind of way. Other people can be going through a season of suffering and still keep a smile on their faces.

The ones who are best at staying positive are the ones who know that this life isn’t all there is. They have their hopes set not on a better tomorrow but in the One who holds all our tomorrows in the palm of His hand. They’re looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where everything bad will be no more and all the best parts of this life will have only been like an appetizer before the real feast.

The moral of the story is what I’ve probably said a thousand times but still can’t say it enough into my own brain — giving thanks makes it possible to see the good in your day and in your life and to see God at work around you. That’s the key.

Forgiving Yourself

“How can we forgive those who do not want to be forgiven? Our deepest desire is that the forgiveness we offer will be received. This mutuality between giving and receiving is what creates peace and harmony. But if our condition for giving forgiveness is that it will be received, we seldom will forgive! Forgiving the other is first and foremost an inner movement. It is an act that removes anger, bitterness, and the desire for revenge from our hearts and helps us to reclaim our human dignity. We cannot force those we want to forgive into accepting our forgiveness. They might not be able or willing do so. They may not even know or feel that they have wounded us.

The only people we can really change are ourselves. Forgiving others is first and foremost healing our own hearts” (Henri Nouwen).

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. It can be much harder to forgive yourself or to receive forgiveness than to give it. But at the end of the day, we are all broken and hopeless without Jesus. We all bring nothing to the table in and of ourselves but our own sin, but when we are in Jesus, we bring Jesus, and that is enough.

All I Needed to Say

I know several people who are dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one. It’s never easy, especially with the recent end of the Christmas season that makes loss even more difficult to bear. I found a post with the lyrics from a Michael W. Smith song from his second album. Let these words sink in and express your own grief and loss:

“Sad goodbye
Never quite got said
Now the time is gone
We’re moving on
Even though it hurts so bad

If I could
I’d turn back the days
And I’d love again
To be your friend
In a hundred different ways
But we can’t turn back the time
The days

So if I never said, all I needed to say
I’ll say it now
You know I loved you once
I love you stronger today
Please love, find me a way
Words, I still need to say
But I don’t know how

Can’t stand still
Still I can’t move on
Lord, I need your strength
Need you and me
‘Cause a part of me is gone

In time, I will know
What I’ve yet to see
That through all the pain
You hurt the same
And you’re standing here with me
More than anything it’s you
I need

So if I never said, all I needed to say
I’ll say it now
You know I loved you once
I love you stronger today
Please love find me a way
Words, I still need to say
Please show me how

Words, I still need to say

So if I never said, all I needed to say
I’ll say it now
You know I loved you once
I love you stronger today
Please love find me a way
But I don’t know how
Please love find me a way
Please show me how” (Amy Grant / Michael W. Smith).

Even If . . .

“Even if today didn’t go as planned, Lord
and if it’s not at all what we hoped,
and if “we’re* not yet quite what we hoped,
and if life’s not unfolding to our Plan A
and if it’s not even close to Plan B
and if the diagnosis is not great
and if the forecast is not good
and if not… and if not… and if not…
You still are. You still are Good & You still are God.
And we will be the people who will still…
The people who will still rest in it & sing it into the dark:
‘and if not — He is still Good. He is still God… so we can still & be & be at rest.’” #HonestPrayers” (Ann Voskamp).

Even if today didn’t go as planned. Or this week. Or this month. Or even this year (cue the Friends theme song).

God is still good.

His plans for you are still good.

His timing is still perfect and right on time.

You can trust.

You can rest.

And you can still sing into that darkness.

41

“In the Bible, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights.
Day 41 came and the rain stopped.

Moses committed murder & hid in the desert for 40 years.
Year 41 came, and God called him to help rescue Israel.

Moses went up on the mountain for 40 days.
On day 41, he received the Ten Commandments.

The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years.
Year 41, they walked into the Promised Land.

Goliath taunted Israel for 40 days.
Day 41 came, and David slew him.

Jonah preached a message of repentance to Ninevah for 40 days.
On day 41, God stopped His plan to destroy them.

Jesus fasted and was tempted for 40 days.
Day 41, and the devil fled.

After His resurrection, Jesus appeared to His disciples for 40 days.
On day 41, He ascended into Heaven.

All this to say…don’t quit. The rain will stop, the giant will fall, and you will enter your ‘promised land.’ Don’t give up at 40.

41 is coming” (Chelsie Zurcher Wren).

In the Bible, the number 40 represents testing or trials — and sometimes judgment. All these examples show that what we endure may be severe but it is always finite. There’s a limit.

Sometimes 40 days can seem like forever. But just as the rainbow of God’s promise followed the flood, so day 41 will surely follow that 40th day of testing.

I’m not promising vast material blessings will come your way, but I do think God’s favor follows adversity, provided its because of enduring trials and not receiving consequences for sinful actions.

God is faithful. God honors those who honor Him, and the eyes of the Lord roam the earth seeking those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. All it takes is a mustard seed amount of faith in a mountain-moving God.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=7877212748959868

Tiny Books

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to tiny books. The smaller, the better.

I have a tiny testament that easily fits in the palm of my hand. I also have a small Latin dictionary and an even smaller hymnal. All these tiny books are super old as well as super small.

This one is the smallest prayer book I’ve ever seen. For me, I love the idea of carrying around these precious promises of God in my pocket and having a handy prayer guide for whenever I can’t find words of my own to pray.

I’m reminded sometimes of how small I am in comparison to God. More like infinitesimal and microscopic next to the Creator whom the whole of creation can’t contain.

Yet, the verse says He is mindful of me. He knows the number of hairs on my head and when I stumble or fall. He knows every word on my tongue before I speak it.

That’s comforting when the universe seems so big and dark and void of hope. I need the nearness of an Incarnate God more than I need the majesty of an Infinite Being beyond my comprehension.

Well, I need both. I need a God close enough to know my need and a God big enough to meet it. I need a God who’s near to hear my prayer and a God mighty enough to be worthy of my prayers.

I suppose my next thing to collect will be tiny books. Now I just need a tiny shelf to put them all on. I can stare at all my small books and remember how small I am in the eyes of God, yet He still knows me by name.

Social Rules to Live By

This post is a bit outside my wheelhouse, so to speak. What follows is some good advice that I wish I had learned earlier (or maybe paid better attention to when someone else was trying to teach me). Some of these may be more applicable than others, but I hope they will all be useful at some point in your life:

  1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to.
  2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person who loaned it to you remembers or asks for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.
  3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you to lunch or dinner.
  4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh, so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids?’ Or ‘Why haven’t you bought a house?’ Or ‘Why haven’t you bought a car?’ For God’s sake, it isn’t your problem.
  5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.
  6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time.
  7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember, what may seem like 6 to you might appear as 9 to someone else. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative.
  8. Never interrupt people while they are talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all.
  9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and shows how appreciative you are.
  10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
  11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately.
  12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.
  13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.
  14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay.” Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness.
  15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed by how rudely you treat someone below you, but people will notice if you treat them with respect.
  16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.
  17. Never give advice until you’re asked.
  18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age or salary.
  19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it.
  20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreover, eye contact is as important as your speech.
  21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
  22. After reading a good message, consider saying “Thanks for the message.”

APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don’t have.

I am including the original post to give credit where credit is due.

A Lenten Prayer

“O Lord, this holy season of Lent is passing quickly,
I entered into it with fear, but also with great expectations.
I hoped for a great breakthrough, a powerful conversion, a real change of heart;
I wanted Easter to be a day so full of light that not even a trace 
of darkness would be left in my soul.
But I know that you do not come to your people with thunder and lightning.
Even St. Paul and St. Francis journeyed through much darkness
before they could see your light.
Let me be thankful for your gentle way.
I know you are at work.
I know you will not leave me alone, 
I know you are quickening me for Easter – 
but in a way fitting to my own history and my own temperament.
I pray that these last three weeks, in which you invite me to enter 
more fully into the mystery of your passion,
will bring me a greater desire to follow you on the way you create for me
and to accept the cross that you give to me.
Let me die to the desire to choose my own way and select my own cross.
You do not want to make me a hero but a servant who loves you.
Be with me tomorrow and in the days to come,
and let me experience your gentle presence.
Amen” (Henri Nouwen).

Lord, may the last three weeks of Lent not be wasted. Help me to use my time away from social media to create margins of unhurried space within my day for me to hear Your voice speaking to me. Give me a quiet heart and a calm mind to receive Your words. Above all, grant me the ability and willingness to obey what I hear. Amen.

My Mac is On

As I was scrolling through Facebook memories, I ran across a blog post I wrote two years ago about how I was saving up for my Mac Book Pro (cleverly titled “Get My Mac On”).

Here I am, reading that post on my Mac Book Pro that’s now about a year old (and still as fast as ever). It’s one of those little reminders of how time can change your perspective. Things look quite a bit different in hindsight once you’ve had a little time to gain that perspective.

Thankfully,  I never became an Apple snob who looks down at anything PC or Microsoft  (or Samsung). I just happen to prefer my Mac to my old PCs.

I also realize that at the end of the day, it’s still all just stuff. As much as I like my stuff, it doesn’t come close to bringing true fulfillment or happiness. It can’t begin to compete with what really matters: people and spending time with them and making memories with them.

The best use for technology that I’ve found lately is that it helps me to remember. I check out Timehop and see my old cat Lucy and see old friends that I hadn’t thought about in a while. Every now and then, I see old pictures from the Stone Age from when I was little (and yes, they did have photography back then– in color!)

I also remember that there were a few times when I never thought I’d be able to get my Mac. I didn’t think I had the patience and the discipline. This blog post written on my Mac goes to show that as long as you’re still breathing, it’s never too late and there’s always still hope.

And yes, my blog posts ARE 35% hipper and trendier now.

https://oneragamuffin.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/update-on-getting-my-mac-on/

Happy February 14!

It’s Valentine’s Day aka Single Awareness Day aka The Day Before Chocolate is 70% Off. In other words, this day is loaded with expectations. And chocolate.

For those of you in relationships, congratulations. Don’t take them for granted. The good relationships aren’t the ones where the two of you settle but where each of you is still trying to win the heart of the other and outdo each other with acts of love.

For those who are not, the temptation to cynicism and envy and anger is very real. Especially if you’ve reached the point on giving up for any kind of romance of your own.

The key is to get out of yourself. It’s to seek out the unlovable and serve them with acts of love. It’s to focus on the Author of all loves, the one who made us lovable when He set His love on us in the first place.

That’s how Valentine’s Day exists. We love at all because He first loved us.

It’s important to remember that love at its core is not an emotion. While love does involve the emotions, it is ultimately an act of the will. When you stop feeling in love, you still choose to act in loving ways. That’s real love.

No matter where you are on this Valentine’s Day, remember above all that you are loved. God demonstrated His love for us in that while you and I were still sinners, Christ died for us. While we were still enemies with God, Jesus chose those nails for us.

You are the beloved of God. That trumps every other identity and that’s the best way to define yourself and to see yourself on this February 14.

Plus, there’s always chocolate. Chocolate never judges. Chocolate understands. Chocolate will always be there for you.