reading

I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie

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As you probably already know from reading earlier posts, I have quite the collection of Bibles. I don’t mean on my iPhone or iPad, either (although I do have TWO Bible apps with a plethora of translations between them). I mean actual Bibles.

I have a 1611 facsimile of the King James Bible. I also have at least one of the following: American Standard Version, New American Standard, Revised Standard Bible, New Revised Standard Version, New King James Version, English Standard Version, New International Version, New Living Translation, Holman Christian Standard Bible, Amplified Bible, New English Bible, The Message, and The Voice.

I ran out of breath just typing that.

I have lots of Bibles that look pretty and make me look all spiritual and impressive when I tote them under my arm. Not all of them at once, mind you. I only carry one at the time. Two tops.

But for all that, how much of a Bible do I carry inside me? How well do I know this Bible I profess to love, that I boldly proclaim as inerrant, perfect, God-breathed?

And if people are reading my life like the only Bible they will ever read, what kind of message are they getting? Is it that God only loves good little children? Is it that God loves the same causes I do and is against everything I’m against? Is is that you have to jump through all the right hoops and say all the right magic words to get God’s approval?

Or is it that I (like you and everyone else alive) am a broken person living in a broken world, hopelessly lost and estranged from God? Is it how that very God took on skin like mine and came to live among people like me to show me the way Home? To be the way Home?

I don’t have a neat and tidy ending for this post. I don’t have a funny story to close on. I do have the feeling that with all these Bibles, I should know a lot more about THE Bible than I do.

I also know that God is faithful and patient. He wants me to know Him far more than I do most of the time. And He’s very persistent.

I’m praying for a deep hunger and thirst for God’s Word. I want to crave it, to live it, to breathe it, to cherish it, to make it as much s part of me as my own skin.

“Deep within me I have hidden Your word so that I will never sin against You. . . . Your word is a lamp for my steps; it lights the path before me” (Psalm 119:11,105).

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Random Bits of Advice

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It's only moderately tacky but it was also only $5.

It’s only moderately tacky but it was also only $5.

I had a very interesting and unusual day– in a good way. No one died or got laid off or broke any part of their body. I did get off work a bit early and spent some time thrift shopping.

I found some stores on Charlotte Ave near 49th Ave in Nashville. I went in search of THE ultimate tacky Christmas sweater (with moderately successful results) and came away with a few unexpected treasures. Thrift shopping is like that. Life is like that.

I’ve come away with a few tidbits of wisdom I’d like to share:

1) Gravitate toward the people who love you for who you are, who are always happy to see you, who actually want you around, who live out the Gospel in actions and attitudes that reflect the heart of Jesus.

2) Never pass up any opportunities to visit old bookstores. There’s just something magical about being around lots of old books with their musty smells and rich histories that does my heart good. I love my iPad, but nothing beats the feel and smell of a good old book in your hands.

3) When it comes to getting things done versus spending time with people, remember how fragile life is. Chances are very likely most of your to-do list can wait, but those people may not be around tomorrow.

4) Give yourself a break. Objects in your mirror, i. e. you, are not nearly as ugly or goofy or clumsy or hopeless as they appear. There has never and will never be anyone quite like you ever again. That alone makes you special. Unique. Beautiful. Priceless.

There are probably more, but I’m too tired to think of any of them at the moment, so I’ll save them for a later post.

Good night to all my favorite people. That’s means you. Thank you for making my life blessed and amazing and a miracle every single day.

Letting The Door Close for Good

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I have a picture on my iPhone. It’s me with a friend at Centennial Park, under a picture-perfect summer night sky. I have my arm around her and we’re both smiling. We have just been swing dancing and having a grand time. We look like such good friends.

I had that picture. Up until tonight. I deleted it. I let that proverbial door close. You know. The one almost closed but barely held open by one of those rubbery door stop thingys? The one that once it’s closed you can never re-open?

It’s now closed. I believe her chapter in my life is over. I prayed my goodbyes and grieved over the friendship’s end. My next steps are moving on.

It’s not like she’s a bad person or even that the friendship was wrong. But I think sometimes you have to let go of something that was good– or even very good– in the past to be able to receive God’s future best.

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to your dream in order that God can dream a bigger and better dream in and for you.

So I’m letting a few things — and a few people– go. I hold no bitterness and no more regrets. I cherish the memories but realize that I must move on as they have already moved on.

I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me in the coming weeks and months, but I know it will be good. I love the imagery in this quote from a book I’m currently reading:

““So here’s my thought: Your best thought on your best day falls 15.5 billion light-years short of how great and how good God really is. Even the most brilliant among us underestimate God by 15.5 billion light-years. God is able to do 15.5 billion light-years beyond what you can ask or imagine” (Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker).

Counting Crows and Everything After

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I drove home tonight with a Counting Crows CD playing in my car. I know the hipsters either listen to digital streaming or old-school LPs, but I still like my CDs. And yes, I was singing at the top of my lungs, not caring if I looked ridiculous to the fellow drivers.

Music takes me to a happy place. So does good writing.

I read something today that was written to women, but with a little work, I think I can take away something for me as well. It goes like this:

“You’re fine exactly as you are.
Your curves, words, flaws, strengths, thoughts.
You don’t have to change.
You aren’t fat, stupid, or worthless.
You are you.
You are amazing.
You are wonderful.”

I think those could be God’s words to His children tonight. No wait . . . I know those are God’s words to YOU tonight. Right where you are, sitting in your robe with curlers in your hair. Or sitting in your t-shirt and boxers with hair defying all the laws of gravity.

A random sire note: I spent too much time trying to find this on Pinterest again after I lost it the first time. I wanted to share it with a friend of mine who needs this reminder. I almost forgot that maybe it was me who needed reminding more than anyone else.

God loves you exactly the way you are. That makes you loveable. That makes you valuable. That makes you somebody. That defines and completes and identifies you.

You may need to lose 10 (or more) pounds. You may not always like the person who looks back at you from the other side of the mirror. You may hate your job and your life and even yourself at times.

But you are amazing. You are wonderful. You are beautiful.

And you are the apple of God’s eye, the delight of His heart, and His beloved Daughter or Son.

Don’t ever forget that.

Saturday Night’s Alright for Slacking

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I did nothing tonight. Hard as it is to believe, I spent this Saturday evening in front of the idiot box with a very sleepy cat/therapist named Lucy. This jetsetter, this man about town, actually had a quiet night.

And the world didn’t come to a screeching halt.

Do you ever wonder that people forget about you the moment you leave the room? That when it comes to priorities, you’re not high up on anybody’s list? That ultimately you don’t truly matter to anyone?

Sure, I’ve felt that way some nights. But I know this.

There is never a moment that goes by where I’m not in God’s sight, on His mind, and engraved on His hands and on His heart. He loves me completely, unconditionally, unwaveringly, every second of every day of eternity.

God loves you the same way. God loves each person as if they were the only person who had ever lived and could receive the fullness of Love itself.

That kind of love meets you where you are but does not leave you that way. It can’t help but transform the beloved into the image of the Lover. You become most like what you love most. Always.

I can’t say that staying home was my first choice. Or even on my list of top twenty choices.

But here I am, thankful even on a slow Saturday night that I have everything I need in the world right here. Finding the joy on nights like this really does transform how you see the rest of your life. Giving thanks for the small things makes room to receive the greater things.

I think I’ll sign off in a bit here and go do some actual reading of an actual book, with actual pages that turn and everything. How novel.

May you know in full (or as fully as a finite human can comprehend the infinite) how much your Abba really does love you at every moment, whether you feel it or not.

That’s all for now.

Another Bonfire and More Eucharisteo

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My community group met at a friend’s house for a bonfire. This wasn’t quite like the last one. I felt like a bit of a fifth wheel (or in this case, a seventh wheel).

I’m not blaming anybody but myself. I was tired and not feeling particularly Tookish. For those who have a life and haven’t read everything Tolkien has ever written at least ten times, it means my social butterfly side was dormant and my awkward caterpillar side was in charge.

I left early and ended up at Blue Coast Burrito. The girl who worked there complimented me on my I Am Second bracelet and that led to a good conversation. It turns out she is a missionary with Mobilizing Students and is looking to go live overseas in the next year or two.

It was a God-moment. Eucharisteo at work. If I had gone to Bar-B-Cutie’s (like I very nearly did), I would have missed this moment. If I had stayed at the bonfire, I would have not met Jenny, whose fervor for her calling blessed me.

God has a funny way of turning off nights into new adventures. I’m learning in my walk of faith to expect the unexpected and to be certain that God is always working around me, even on random Friday nights in October.

I don’t know what I’ll be doing this time tomorrow or where I’ll be. I know the same God who showed up tonight will be there and I know it will be another good night.

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Things I Love 42: Two Turn-Tables and a Microphone

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“If it were up to me…” and then the words pound, desperate and hard, “I’d write this story differently.”…

“Just that maybe… maybe you don’t want to change the story, because you don’t know what a different ending holds.”

The words I choked out that dying, ending day, echo. Pierce. There’s a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means.

I don’t” (Ann Voskamp, ).

“Can God be counted on? Count blessings and find out how many of His bridges have already held” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I know you’ve got a certain Beck song stuck in your head. My work here is done.

Not really. There’s still that matter of the list of things I love, which will continue at #1.241. Now wasn’t that absolutely the best segway ever?

1,301) Two healthy and working knees.

1.302) A nightly bowl of Cocoa Pebbles cereal.

1,303) How I can rejoice even in the midst of suffering, knowing God will produce the best out of the worst circumstances.

1.304) My I Am Second bracelet that I forget that I’m wearing until someone else reminds me by telling me how much they like it,

1,305) Amish-made Sweet Potato Butter.

1,306) The slow blinks of a sleepy cat.

1,307) Pulpy orange juice.

1,308) When my technology works like it’s supposed to.

1,309) Having gone 15 months without any carbonated beverages.

1,310) Being able to watch Friends on TBS, Nick @ Nite, and TVLand.

1,311) Kairos Night of Worship tomorrow at 7 pm.

1.312) Writing my 1,087th blog.

1,313) My hole-y green Kairos Impact t-shirt.

1,314) Finally jumping off of a diving board into the deep end of a pool (and blogging about it later).

1,315) The Tom Cat 2 app on my iPhone.

1,316) The little Jack Russell chihuahua mix named Hallelujah that I met at Centennial Park last Saturday.

1,317) My vintage California raisins beach towel.

1,318) Reading a blog I wrote two years ago and finding that God used it to speak to my own life.

1,319) How my friend Katie is one of the best encouragers and team players in sand volleyball history.

1,320) Visiting normal reality for 5 minutes then going back to my own happy little world.

1,321) WordPress, the best site for blogging.

1,322) Talking with my sister using FaceTime.

1,323) The moment when I realize how much more patient I am than I was last year thanks to the grace of God.

1,324) My 22-year old friend Tricia who is one of the most joyful Christians I know.

1,325) Swimming for the first time in over a year last Saturday.

1,326) The term “food porn.”

1,327) Finding lost pens and loose change in the couch cushions.

1,328) Knowing that without the book of Ruth, the Bible would be rather Ruth-less.

1,329) The visual of you grimacing at that last joke.

1,330) Not hearing The Macarena at any point today.

Coming soon to a theater near you, the next James Bond movie. Coming eventually to an electronic device near you, Things I Love 43.

Things I Love 40: The Farewell Tour a la The Eagles and the Rolling Stones

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island hammock

“The cynics, they can only speak of the dark, of the obvious, and this is not hard. For all it’s supposed sophistication, it’s cynicism that’s simplistic. In a fallen world, how profound is to see the cracks?

The sages and prophets, the disciples and revolutionaries, they are the ones up on the ramparts, up on the wall pointing to the dawn of the new Kingdom coming, pointing to the light that breaks through all things broken, pointing to redemption always rising and to the Blazing God who never sleeps” (Ann Voskamp).

This may or may not be the last of the series. Ok, probably not. These are just too much fun to quit entirely. Even if you don’t blog and actually have a life, I recommend writing down all the things you’re thankful for. Not just the big things, but the little things like morning dew on the grass or butterflies lighting on flowers. You can steal mine if you like. Ideas, not butterflies. Starting at #1,211.

1,211) Those purple flowers that I can’t remember the name of.

1,212) Friends who speak the truth in love when I need to hear it and stick around after I’ve royally made a mess of things.

1,213) That messing up doesn’t mean the end of the world.

1,214) Being defined by the love of my Abba.

1,215) Finally believing that I will be a good husband and father one day.

1,216) God never ceasing to amaze and delight me whenever I have sense enough to stop and pay attention.

1,217) Chocolate in all its many glorious forms.

1,218) The way God speaks to me where I am and always knows where to find me.

1,219) Men and women who sacrifice their lives protecting the freedom that I so casually take for granted so often.

1,220) Me finding and living out my very own brand of awesome almost every single day.

1,221) Finally trying a Granny Smith apple just to say I’ve eaten one (and Oh my Lord, they’re tart).

1,222) For July days when the high temperature is 84.

1,223) For the chicken cobb avocado salad at Panera Bread on Old Hickory Blvd in front of Target.

1,224) That I care less what other people think of me and much more of what God thinks of me.

1,225) That there is absolutely nothing that will separate me from God’s love, nothing he hasn’t overcome by the cross, and nothing that he can turn into something beautiful and glorious.

1,226) When I can borrow from other posts and hopefully you won’t notice.

1,227) The Wilson County Fair coming up in August.

1,228) Having a full tank of gas in my Jeep.

1,229) Reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (my favorite of the Narnia books) yet again.

1,230) Promoting my friends’ music or books or art or causes.

1,231) That my last name isn’t Weiner.

1,232) Advancing to level 63 in Candy Crush Saga.

1,233) Finding an extra large box of Cocoa Pebbles at Publix for $1,50.

1,234) The number 1,234 (’cause it’s in order).

1,235) All, 721 of my facebook friends.

1,236) Still having all ten fingers and all ten toes.

1,237) Burl Ives singing “Silver and Gold.”

1,238) Learning to think for myself and not be spoon-fed by the media or talking heads (either conservative or liberal).

1,239) Being able to simplify my life by getting rid of books and CDs I won’t ever listen to or read again.

1,240) People who know how to use “your”, “you’re”, “to”, “too”, and “two” correctly.

Aw heck. You might as well count on there being at least one more of these.

Things I Love 38: Pilates? Heck No! I Thought You Said Pie and Lattes!

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island hammock

“Remembering with thanks is what causes us to trust – to really believe” (Ann Voskamp).

“God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors. And I’ve an inkling that there are times when we need to drive a long, long distance, before we can look back and see God’s back in the rearview mirror. Maybe sometimes about as far as heaven — that kind of distance” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“We’re called to do more than believe in God, we’re called to live in God” (Ann Voskamp).

Thanksgiving really does alter your perspective. During those times when you’re in between jobs and your bank account wouldn’t cover a Starbucks latte, it’s easy to focus on what’s lacking. But eucharisteo reminds you that really even in those times you’re truly blessed if you can only see with the eyes of your heart instead of your physical eyes. Blessings are always ready to be found by those with grateful hearts and God-centered minds. So with that, I pick up at #1,141.

1,141) Finding stray money in the pockets of my jeans and shorts.

1,142) Funny cat videos.

1,143) That there really is a fountain filled with blood where all my sins are washed away.

1,144) Being completely comfortable with interstate driving.

1,145) No humidity in the fall.

1,146) People who still practice common courtesy and good manners.

1,147) A dentist visit with no cavities.

1,148) Reading the books my favorite writers read (like reading Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton because he was one of C.S. Lewis’ favorite authors).

1,149) Watching and reading about the new birth in the British royal family.

1,150) When I wake up and roll over to see that it’s only 2 am and I have 5 more hours of sleep.

1,151) Knowing that my best day this side of heaven won’t even touch my worst day in heaven. And yes, I know in heaven they’ll all be good days.

1,152) Eating and shopping locally at non-chain establishments.

1,153) The occasional Taco Bell meal.

1,154) The way my friend Sara has faithfully greeted at Kairos and is now transitioning to being an 11:11 greeter.

1,155) Having a short-haired cat who always looks well-groomed.

1,156) That my mother finally got her new car.

1,157) Hugs from friends and family.

1,158) Those rare times when I mention something I love twice in these lists (which must mean I really love it).

1,159) Setting out on a road trip with good books and good music.

1,160)  My old teddy bear that I’ve had since I was 10.

1,161) Really comfy oversized couches.

1,162) Seeing my friend from Orlando (who always makes me smile) at Kairos tonight.

1,163) Amy Winehouse’s amazing voice.

1,164) Wireless broadband internet.

1,165) The way my GPS pronounces Briley Parkway as “Brilley.”

1,166) Seeing photos of my friends and family on vacation via Facebook and Instagram.

1,167) Remembering the way the breeze off the ocean feels at twilight.

1,168) Finding books I’ve always wanted to read in the clearance section of a bookstore.

1,169) That I’ve had 21 views on my blogs today (and while that’s nowhere near a record, it means people are still reading what I write).

1,170) Making it to level 51 on Candy Crush Saga.

1,171) Remembering when technology was much bigger and heavier and slower and more expensive (and how it’s now smaller and lighter and faster and . . . well, not as expensive).

1,172) Night lights.

1,173) Not stubbing my toe on furniture in the dark at night.

1,174) Knowing that I’m not the most directionally-challenged person in the world.

1,175) People who have the gift of hospitality and practice it often.

Things I Love 35: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Get Back on the Internet . . .

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“That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“God is good and I am always loved” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“The whole of the life — even the hard — is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up”  (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Yeah, just when you thought I was done with this series, I resuscitate it and bring it back from the world wide graveyard. I’m not even close to being finished with all these thousand and more gifts I’ve received in my lifetime. It’s probably closer to 10,000. Actually, if I were completely honest, there’d be no way to count the blessings in my life for no human number goes that high. So I’ll do my best, starting at #1,036.

1,036) Yet more good coffee and conversation with another friend at Frothy Monkey (after a bit of confusion as to which Frothy Monkey).

1,037) When I stop comparing myself to others and instead compare myself to where I used to be.

1,038) Politically Correct Bedtime Stories.

1,039) Seeing my Romanian friend and sister-in-Christ happily married.

1,040) Rubbing my bare feet against carpet.

1,041) Not getting elbowed in the head or having my bare feet stepped on during volleyball games.

1,042) That possibly the best days and moments of my life are still yet to come.

1,043) Not getting counted off anymore for split infinitives.

1,044) Friends who actually make time to keep up with me and encourage me regularly.

1,045) All the old episodes of Are You Being Served?

1,046) Memories of watching TV as a kid with my uncle in the old camper on our property in Christiana.

1,047) That I’m not named after an airline.

1,048) Anticipating yet another Jonny Lang album coming out in September.

1,049) My gigantic over-the-ears headphones that I use to listen to music late at night sometimes.

1,050) Making up words when I don’t know the actual lyrics to a song.

1,051) Finding out what the actual lyrics are to a song I’ve been singing wrong all this time.

1,052) Just about any movie or TV show featuring Judi Dench.

1,053) Catching up with Union University classmates.

1,054) Ditto for Briarcrest classmates.

1,055) That God loves the crazy people as much as the “sane” ones.

1,056) The short spontaneous conversation I had with the girl named Rebecca who was reading that Mark Batterson book.

1,057) Every one of the 300+ pictures I took at the Set Free VBS this year.

1,058) Seeing those kids being prayed over and loved on and shown Jesus.

1,059) Every time the Kingdom of God takes back a person or a place from the kingdom of darkness.

1,060) Mastering the art of making pimento cheese.

1,061) Saying the words “pimento cheese.”

1,062) Classic devotionals by people like Oswald Chambers and Charles Spurgeon.

1,063) Bowling a game over 100.

1,064) Silence. Sometimes.

1,065) That even my fidelity to God is a gift from God (thanks to Thomas Merton for that one.

1,066) Friends who know the song in my heart and can sing it back to me when I’ve forgotten the words.

1,067) Any old Frank Capra movie.

1,068) Not being in a hurry all the time.

1,069) Knowing that I have an Advocate and Defender who pleads for me before the Throne of God.

1,070) Not nearly being close to finished with these lists.