Being Patient in 2015

January 9, 2015January 12, 2015 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else. Let’s be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand” (Henri Nouwen).

Patience is easy in theory and much harder in practice. As the old saying goes, you never pray for patience unless you want what little patience you possess to be severely tested. Or in my case, you find out how completely impatient you are.

I do think that patience is not passively waiting. It means you prepare yourself for the future God has in store for you.

That means you confess any sin that might hinder the work of God in your life and you stay daily surrendered to whatever God calls you to and to whoever He calls you to be.

I still suck both at patience and at waiting. Blame it on my ADD. Blame it on my passive nature. I wish I could say that at this point in my life that I’ve mastered these two disciplines. I haven’t.

But I also believe that even when I pray “Lord, I want to believe. Help my unbelief,” even that mustard-size faith– so small it barely registers as faith at all– can move mountains and change the world. It can change my world.

It has never been about big faith in God, or I’d be totally screwed. It’s about faith in a big God who can take the tiniest beginnings of faith and trust and work wonders with those.

Lord, as always, I believe. I want to believe. I try to believe. Help my unbelief.

An Aborted Night in Franklin

June 7, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

First of all, my tour of duty as dog-sitter has ended. At least part one has. Part two is next week.

It was a lot of fun and I met some interesting neighbors and their even more interesting pets, including one Golden Retriever who likes to carry her favorite tennis ball in her mouth when she goes on a walk and two very tiny Yorkies. And the people were nice, too. Everybody seemed to love Millie, the dog I was taking care of and they all wanted to pet her and talk to her.

My cat Lucy was so overjoyed to see me that she climbed in my lap and fell asleep. Apparently, that’s how she does excitement. But at least she purrs whenever she sees me. Unless her food and/or water bowls are empty. Then not so much.

Of course, to celebrate another week survived I went to Franklin. Unfortunately, the weather got a bit snippy so I didn’t stay as long as normal. There were the torrential rains and the thunder that sounded like cannons. There was me in my increasingly wet sandals. That was not a good combination.

The good news is that I did not melt and I did eventually dry off. I got my McCreary’s fix and even got to visit my favorite church building. There was even a lull in the rain, so I was able to walk around a bit.

The older I get, the more I think that the riches that really count are the experiences you get from living, from going out and trying new things and taking risks and sometimes from simple things like walking in the rain. Those are what you look back on with fondness more than any degrees or business accomplishments.

There. That’s my big moral of the day. Nothing too philosophical or theological. Just some stuff I’ve been learning lately.

Keep Calm and Choose Joy

June 1, 2014June 1, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight” (Khalil Gibran).

“…the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is” (Ann Voskamp).

The difference between happiness and joy is this: happiness requires the right circumstances while joy can be found anywhere at any time.

The Apostle Paul could indeed count it all joy even when he was imprisoned or beaten or shipwrecked. He could sing hymns of joy when locked in a dungeon with little hope of his circumstances improving any time soon.

You can’t depend on happiness because you never know from one moment to the next what will happen. You can’t say for sure that everything will turn out the way you want to produce the happiness you desire.

But joy is knowing that the future belongs to Jesus. For Jesus, the future is now. For you, that means that you can count on that future coming to pass as surely as you can count on Jesus.

But joy is still a choice you and I must make every single day. Sometimes, you won’t feel like choosing joy because it seems unnatural in the face of what you’re going through. I know many times I’d rather choose anything but joy because feeling sorry for myself makes me feel good. For a little while.

So when people disappoint you– and they will– choose joy.

When you lose your job, choose joy.

When the rain clouds cover the sky and you can’t find the sun, choose joy.

Trust me. It’s always worth it.

I Absolutely Refuse to Refer to Wednesday as Hump Day Anymore

May 28, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

There. I got your attention, didn’t I?

I don’t have any moral or religious objections to the phrase “hump day” or even that talking camel. I just think the whole joke’s been overdone a tad. And by a tad, I mean a gazillion times too many.

My Wednesday was just fine. How was yours?

It rained where I was. Not a downpour, but a pleasant soft-falling rain that always soothes and calms me. Except when I have to drive in it. Or more accurately, when I have to drive amongst all those others who absolutely cannot drive in the rain.

Wednesday means that the work week is halfway over. Wednesday means that only two more days remain until that blessed event called Friday and the start of the weekend.

I’m thankful for Wednesdays and not just because of being halfway to Friday. I’m thankful that I woke up this morning and that I have a job and that I still have a God who loves me in spite of my plethora of quirks and failings and broken promises.

I’m thankful for the rain that will bring growth and new life. And hopefully less humidity.

I’m thankful because I know that I already have exceeded the amount of blessings that I truly deserve. I far exceeded that a long time ago.

How many blessings do I truly deserve? None. But how many do I get in spite of that? Too many to count. Too many that I take for granted and don’t even see.

If God told me my bag of blessings was empty and I had used them all up, I’d be okay with that. If God never did one more thing for me, He’d still have been way, way better to me than I ever could have hoped or deserved. In a million lifetimes.

I call that a good Wednesday.

Downtown Franklin Revisited

May 23, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Ok, I admit that sometimes I can be like a broken record when it comes to weekends. I like going to downtown Franklin. I think I’ve established that. So guess where I went tonight, sports fans?

At least I varied it a little. I ate at Puckett’s instead of McCreary’s. I went to Sweet CeCe’s instead of Frothy Monkey. Aren’t I just a little rebel?

I brought my iPad and watched most of the movie Reality Bites. I’d forgotten how clever that movie was. And no, the fact that the movie is 20 years old does NOT make me feel old AT all.

I visited my favorite house in all the world. And by visited, I mean I walked by in a very non-stalker-like manner, not stopping to stare in the windows or anything creepy like that.

At one point, the clouds darkened and it looked like it might rain. But it didn’t.

I still think it’d be cool to live there. I know it’s not financially feasible, but one can dream, right?

In the movie Reality Bites, one of the characters is lamenting the fact that she hasn’t figured out what she wants to be by the age of 23. Another character remarks that all she has to be at 23 is herself.

I like that.

Don’t let anybody tell you that you’re a failure because you don’t meet some arbitrary standard of societal standards. It’s okay to not have your career path figured out. It’s okay to still be living with mom and dad. It’s okay to be single and not dating. That’s not what really defines you anyway.

As I’ve said many times before, God defines you and specifically, the fact that He calls you Beloved and is well pleased in you is what truly defines you.

I supposed I am a broken record, but that’s okay by me.

Cold Rainy Monday Nights

January 13, 2014January 13, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I don’t mind the rain. I don’t even mind cold and rainy nights. As long as I’m looking at the rain through a well-insulated window from inside.

Actually, I don’t even mind driving in the rain as long as it’s not dark outside. But that’s what I found myself doing tonight when I took my paycheck to my bank’s ATM on a dark, rainy Monday night. At least it was a short drive.

There’s something very peaceful about listening to rain hitting the windows and the roof. Especially if you have one of those antiquated tin roofs. It’s one of my favorite calming sounds.

It helps me to be still and be quiet. It helps calm my anxious thoughts (if I have any) and not be so prone to thinking ahead to the next day or the next week. I think I even pray better when I hear the rain outside.

I know I need to make time for those moments of doing nothing but being intentionally still and quiet and ready to hear God’s voice. It doesn’t have to be all day or even for an hour. It can be fifteen minutes where I don’t have any televisions or radios or iPhones to distract me from what God might be wanting to tell me.

Maybe we can encourage each other to cultivate those quiet moments during the day. I think it would make a huge difference toward getting my mind back toward spiritual things and my eyes refocused on Jesus.

So those are my thoughts on this wet cold Monday evening.

My Modest Plans for Saturday

January 9, 2014 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

OK. I admit it. My weekly trip to downtown Franklin didn’t pan out like I thought it would. Blame the cold and rainy weather. I had every intention of continuing my quest to Frothy Monkey, but the chill breeze and the cold rain dissuaded me rather quickly.

I did get a very good bowl of fire-roasted veggie soup from McCreary’s Irish Pub out of the night, so it wasn’t a total loss.

My tentative plans for Saturday are as follows:

1) Not getting up at 5 am. I cannot emphasize strongly enough how this will not happen.

2) Going to McKay’s Used Books and doing some more wheeling and dealing, i.e. hoping and praying they will take everything I’m offering in trade and give me top dollar for my loot.

3) Going to the super bargain matinee at Thoroughbred Cinemas in Franklin to see Hunger Games 2, better known as Catching Fire.

4) Getting in some sun and a little exercise (unless it rains, then it’s on to plan B).

5) Figuring out what my plan B will be if it rains.

Again, these plans are subject to change, based on weather and possible better offers coming my way. If you’re nearby, you are certainly welcomed to join me in any or all of my adventures, none of which involve slaying any dragons or looking for any lost dwarfish gold or anything that would cause you to miss dinner.

Giving Thanks In Every Circumstance

November 24, 2013November 24, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I know you’re not supposed to give thanks FOR everything. That would be just plain weird. I mean who gives thanks for losing a loved one or getting fired from a job or for finding out you have a terminal illness?

But you can give thanks in the midst of those things, if for nothing more than God’s promise to work all things, even those things, together for good for those who love Him.

I’ve learned a few places where you can give thanks that don’t really seem to be places where gratitude is naturally found:

I can give thanks when my job involves long hours and tedious moments because I remember what it was like to not have a job and to not have money and to not feel productive or useful.

I can give thanks when a friend gives up on me or withdraws from me because it makes me not take for granted those who have stuck with me through dark days and low moments.

I can give thanks for delayed pay checks and not having a lot in the ol’ checking account because my eyes are opened once more to true riches of relationships and health and life and contentment and I find that I am wealthy in what really matters.

I can give thanks when the people I care about move away or simply disappear because I learn to treasure the time I am given with the people I am given and to be a blessing to the people in my life while it’s still called today because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

I can give thanks that bad days make the good days better, that rainy days make me appreciate sunshine more, that bitterly cold weather makes me love wool coats and fleece scarfs all the more, and that the meds keep me reminded that am not perfect or normal or self-sufficient but that I am always loved in spite of all these things. No, because of these things.

Gratitude is a habit that is learned one day at a time and joy is an lifestyle of slowing down and opening your eyes to see the small daily miracles all around you called blessings.

Don’t forget to be thankful for those small furry babies who love you unconditionally (even when you step on their tails for forget to feed them periodically or accidentally shut them in garages or closets). I just thought I’d throw that one in for free.

PS I am thankful every day that Jesus never gave up on me until He found me, rescued me, and brought me into His family. I am thankful that my weaknesses prove His strength, my sin shows the power of His grace and forgiveness, and my failures showcase His ability to make masterpieces out of messes.

Joy on a Rainy, Yucky Sunday

November 17, 2013November 17, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I had an amazing time dining at Chuy’s with some friends old and new. And by that I mean friends that I’ve known for a while and friends I met today. Compared to me, they were all young whippersnappers.

I had my standard taco salad with both chicken and steak. I had my water with both lemon and lime. I figure why should you be an either/or person when you can be a both/and person? Life’s much more fun that way.

Life’s also more fun when you see the sun behind all those grey clouds and joy in the midst of difficulties and hardships. It’s not like the sun went AWOL during all this rain. It’s still there, behind the clouds and waiting to be unveiled at just the right moment.

Joy’s like that. It’s always there. There’s never a moment without a blessing or a place with no joy to be found. You just have to see with eyes of thanksgiving and gratitude to find the blessings and the joy. Even in the darkest of times, you can always find light if you know where to look.

Later on, I’m celebrating Thanksgiving with some more friends. This year, it’s more than a lot of turkey and dressing. It’s about being truly alive and counting all my gifts that I once took for granted. It’s about celebrating the people in my life who are helping me find and love out my miracle.

Truly, life is good, God is great, and I am still blessed.

Cruise-liner Christianity?

October 6, 2013October 6, 2013 / Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I have another confession. I’ve spent way too much of my life seeking out comfort and convenience. I’ve avoided any possibility of suffering and some places because they were “less than safe.”

I know I’m not alone. So many go to their comfortable, air-conditioned churches and then to comfortable, air-conditioned restaurants and then on to comfortable, air-conditioned lives. We want to feel good and look good, but I think God is calling us more to do good and be good.

So many will use rain as an excuse for staying away from worship services. But the same will sit in the rain for hours at a Titans or Vols game.

I’ve used just about every excuse to not pick up my Bible and actually read it. I’ll tell myself I’m too tired to pray. I will say that I can’t afford to tithe this week, but I’ll start back next week.

Jesus promised us there would be suffering. But He also promised that the reward at the other side would be more than worth it. Like when a mother forgets her delivery pains when she holds her newborn baby in her arms.

The problem with Cruise-line Christianity isn’t so much that it’s disobedience (which it is), but that you miss so many blessings and rewards and joys that only come with taking that narrow path, the road less travelled, the trail marked with suffering.

I don’t mean to intentionally seek out suffering. Just not to seek first and foremost to avoid it. I do mean saying YES to Jesus, whatever Jesus asks of you and wherever He calls you to go, whether it’s next door or across the world or even to the unsafe part of time.

For me, it might mean getting up earlier in the morning and making time for God. Maybe it means going without Starbucks for a whole week. Egads.

All I know is that I want God more than I want to stay comfortable and safe and vaguely dissatisfied. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and wonder what I could have done for God if I’d only been more trusting and more faithful. I want to find out now.

I’ll keep you posted on how the whole waking up earlier thing goes. But for now, it means waking up at 5:30 instead of 6 am. Yikes.

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