Ragamuffin Gospel

Dancing with a Limp

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“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp” (Anne Lamott).

I still miss my ol’ cat Lucy. It still feels wrong that she’s not here anymore and that she’ll never jump in my lap and settle down for a nightly nap. I think I’ll always miss her and my heart will always ache a little when I think of her or see pictures of her.

Some of you are going through much worse. Some have lost friends, parents, spouses, and even children. I saw where the mayor of Nashville lost her only son and child last night from an apparent overdose. I can’t imagine the grief she’s enduring right now. Regardless of your politics, no one should ever have to bury a child. No one.

I know it’s part of life. I know that since the fall introduced death into the world, we’re all destined to say goodbye to those we love, whether two-legged or four-legged. The pain will seem unendurable at times and you’ll wonder how you can ever survive without them.

The good news is that God knows all about grief. The cross is about God sending His one and only Son to die for us that we might live. God can comfort those who grieve and they can in turn be a comfort to others who suffer loss.

In the end, God does really work all things together for good. Even death. You carry all the memories with you in your heart, and one day in Christ you will see your loved one again.

 

Listening to the Right Voice

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“[T]he real ‘work’ of prayer is to become silent and listen to the voice that says good things about me. To gently push aside and silence the many voices that question my goodness and to trust that I will hear the voice of blessing– that demands real effort” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World).

Maybe that’s why it’s so difficult for most of us to be still and silent for long. Perhaps the enemy knows that once we start listening to the voice of our Abba, and believing what He says about us, we will no longer be swayed by any temptation from the other side.

Sure, we have lots of voices telling us we’re no good, that we’re failures who are past all hope. We have other voices telling us that we’re as good as how well we perform and jump through hoops and wear the right labels and drive the right cars and so on and so forth.

Still, the voice that trumps all those other voices says that you are already enough because Abba made you. You are not your mistakes or your shortcomings or your weaknesses. You are your Abba’s beloved, and He is very fond of you.

“At issue here is the question: ‘To whom do I belong? God or to the world?’ Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.

As long as I keep running about asking: ‘Do you love me? Do you really love me?’ I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with ‘ifs.’ The world says: ‘Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much.’ There are endless ‘ifs’ hidden in the world’s love. These ‘ifs’ enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world’s love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain ‘hooked’ to the world-trying, failing,and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart” (Henri J.M. Nouwen).

Another Franklin Adventure

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I think my new motto should be “pet all the cats.” That seems to be whatever I find myself doing whenever I’m anywhere near felines.

I found one lounging outside a small record shop I’ve been meaning to check out in the downtown Franklin area. Unfortunately, the store itself was closed (even though it was still 10 till 6 and the sign said they were open until 6), but the cat was friendly.

From there, I made my way over to McCreary’s Irish Pub, my favorite place to eat in the entire world. I had a most excellent meal of corned beef and cabbage, replete with sweet iced tea (this being the South and all).

I put in a fair amount of walking (and profuse sweating and possibly a touch of wheezing) up and down the sidewalk in the July humidity for which I rewarded myself with some most excellent double peanut butter pie ice cream from Kilwin’s.

I took my usual stroll down my favorite street, fantasizing about what it would be like to win the lottery and to be able to live in one of the houses on this street. Every single house is like something out of Anne of Green Gables combined with a George MacDonald fairy tale.

I ended up with over 17,000 steps. My feet hurt a little, but I’m the good kind of tired. I’m thankful that I’m able to walk that far (and hopefully burn off some of the delicious calories I consumed).

I’m thankful for yet another day that I lived to see and to tell the tale. Never again will I take for granted that privilege that is denied to many. I’ve known way too many who died way too young to still buy the illusion that I’m guaranteed anything beyond today.

Thank you, God, for this life, and forgive me if I don’t love it enough and live it with unending gratitude.

Amen.

Regardless of Their Outward Condition

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“Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous—with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the poor in spirit (the humble, who rate themselves insignificant), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!” (Matthew 5:3, The Amplified)

I’m a fan of The Amplified Bible and how it expands on verses, giving all the different nuances in a verse. With one exception. Whenever I’m following my pastor, I feel like I have to speed-read to keep up because of all the additional words in my translation.

That said, I read the Beatitudes this evening and one phrase kept knocking me upside the head and grabbing my attention– regardless of their outward condition. And most of the time, I just about need a verse to knock me upside the head for me to really see it.

Who are these blessed that Jesus talks about? They are the ones who know they need God, who crave His righteousness and His kingdom, who mourn over injustice, and who will be filled with joy, regardless of their outward conditions.

They know that true joy can survive and thrive through any circumstances, good or bad, in plenty or in want, in feast or famine, in the midst of blessing or in a season of testing.

You are blessed if you are still waiting on your promise from God but never cease to be grateful for all that you have.

You are blessed if your joy cannot be shaken, regardless of how others treated you or how well you performed or how good or bad your day went.

You are blessed if you’ve failed time and time again, seemingly done everything wrong, and screwed up royally at every given opportunity, yet keep believing that God’s mercies are still new every morning.

You are blessed if your faith will never waiver, whether God gives you everything your heart desires or if He gives you only His presence and His comfort and nothing else.

If you have God and everything this world has to offer, you have nothing more than if you only had God alone, and you are blessed.

 

The Serenity Prayer

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“God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen” (Reinhold Neibuhr).

Most people know this prayer, at least in part. Those who have been through Alcoholics Anonymous or some other kind of recovery program know this prayer very well.

I’m not attending AA, but I think this prayer speaks to my heart and to where I am at the moment.

My idea of happiness is that the world I live in will always be as I would have it and that I could obtain that supreme happiness in the here and now. It almost never involves hardship or suffering of any kind.

This prayer reminds me once again that it’s not about me. This life and this world don’t revolve around me and my wants and needs. However, I can make a difference both in my life and in the lives of those around me.

I’m still getting better and living one day at a time and enjoying one moment at a time. It seems my automatic default is to want to hurry on to the next season of life, which currently for me is fall and cooler temperatures.

This prayer teaches me to see things as they are, to step out of my fantasies and my dreams into the world that is, yet to not resign myself to it. By living in it as it is and being wise to know where I can make a difference, I do my very small part to make the world better than it is.

I think the two key words that are jumping off the page at me tonight are trust and surrender. If I can grab hold of those two concepts and really let them sink into my DNA, then I believe the rest of this prayer will follow.

May this be our prayer going forward to see that if there is to be any change in the world we live in, it must and will begin in each of us.

 

 

 

Prayer and the Pray-er

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“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good” (Romans 8:26-28, The Message).

Sometimes I feel like I should be a much better pray-er by now. I’ve had enough practice and amassed all this spiritual knowledge, yet when I actually take the time to pray in private, I get distracted and my mind wanders and I occasionally fall asleep.

I read about all these spiritual giants who would spend hours upon hours in prayer, yet for me even five minutes in dedicated prayer seems like an eternity.

Tonight, I was reminded that sometimes the truest prayers look and sound a lot like sighs and groans. Sometimes, the most spiritual kind of prayer is to confess your complete and utter helplessness to express what’s in your heart, knowing the Holy Spirit is able to translate those inaudible (and sometimes audible) yearnings into prayers that the Father hears.

I’ve mentioned before that sometimes the three best prayers are “Help,” “Thanks,” and “Wow.” Anne Lamott wrote an entire book about those prayers and I confess at times, those are the only words I can muster to express what’s in my heart.

It’s not my great faith in God that sustains me but rather my faith in a great big God that has carried me through seasons of so-called self-sufficiency and seasons of complete God-dependence.

On a side note: today is the seventh anniversary of my very first blog post all the way back in 2010. On another side note, I originally wrote that it was the sixth anniversary before my internal editor caught the mistake.

Thank you, God, that you are more faithful to me than I am to you, and that my destiny isn’t based on my faith in You but in Your faith in me.

 

In the Quiet Solitude And Stillness

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“May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us” (Teresa of Ávila).

I love hiking the trails at Radnor Lake State Park. I love how I can travel less than 30 minutes from where I live and enter a completely different world where nature has full sway and the noises of civilization seem a million miles away.

Often I feel as though silence is the best kind of language for such a place. Words seem to profane such a sacred place, so I try to talk less and listen more.

I’m trying to be more attentive to my surroundings when I’m on one of the trails. I’m still not very good at taking in everything, but I’m learning more and more how to see rather than just look.

That’s the key to life. Sometimes, what you need is to be silent and still. You need to step away from the hurried rat-race and the voices telling you, “Faster! Faster! More! More!”

I think the best places to do that are the places that are closest to the original Garden of Eden, places with the least amount of man-made noise and pollution and the most nature.

Be still. Be quiet. And listen. Just as Elijah had to strain his ears to hear the still small voice of God, so we sometimes need to be silent and still to hear God speaking.

God is still speaking.

Another Field Trip

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I finally accomplished my goal that I set in 2015. I visited the last of the regional campuses of Brentwood Baptist Church, located in East Nashville and known as The Church at Lockeland Springs. That goal will probably need to be amended when the next regional campus starts in Nolensville, but until then– mission accomplished!

I had help from a new app called Waze. It’s like your ordinary GPS app that gives directions, but this one has the option of Mr. T telling you when and where to turn. My personal favorite is him yelling at me to “TURN LEFT, SUCKA!”

I made it, thanks to Mr. T and Waze. I knew immediately I was going to like this place. It had the smell of a very old church building and looked very inviting. The worship service was spot-on in theology and practicality.

I love how the Church is made up of churches that all express different facets of the body of Christ, yet are all each the body of Christ. Each of the regional campuses has taken on the nuances and flavor of their communities and each reaches out to a different segment of Nashville’s population.

Of course, since I was already in the neighborhood, I had to stop by The Pharmacy for one of their amazing burgers. The one I consumed was called The Farm Burger and had bacon, ham, and a fried egg on it (and it was delicious). I truly appreciate the animal sacrifice that went into the making of this fine creation.

I believe that occasionally, it’s good to break up the routine and do something that’s different. That could mean going to a different church or checking out a part of town that you’re not used to.

I’m thankful for the inspiration to visit all five of the regional campuses. It definitely opened my eyes to the fact that not all of the body of Christ looks and functions like my church. There’s lots of room for every kind of person in God’s kingdom.

 

Becoming Your True Self

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Earlier today, I was watching a couple of little girls playing and a thought occurred to me. Granted, I am not a parent, so forgive me if I speak out of ignorance in what I’m about to say.

Newborn babies are all cute and precious, but they’re pretty much the same. They have typical newborn behavior that all newborn babies do.

It’s only as babies grow into children who mature into adults that their distinctive personalities really begin to emerge. The older they get, the more their uniqueness shines to set them apart from everybody else.

In the life of faith, it’s only in becoming more like Jesus that we come into our truest selves. The more we grow in grace and take on the characteristics and behaviors of Christ that we truly find out who we really are and what our purpose is.

That’s the irony. It’s only in losing yourself that you find yourself. It’s as if gazing on God reveals more about ourselves than looking inwardly ever could.

As always, I share these things not from on high, having mastered the art of living and figured out all the mysteries of the universe. I come to you like one beggar telling another where to find bread (an image that I still love).

I also believe that you only become truly rich by giving yourself away to those who have need. But that will have to be a topic for another day when I am less sleepy.

 

Christ in Me

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It’s Thursday, or as I like to call it, Friday Eve. That means of course that tomorrow’s Friday.

I joke about looking forward to Friday, but so many of us live our lives that way, just getting by from Monday to Friday at 5 pm. That’s not really living as much as it is existing.

If you’re job is something you have to endure to get to the weekend, maybe you need to look for a new job that better suits you.

Maybe what I need isn’t a new set of circumstances (or a new job– I like the one I have) but Christ in me making for a different me in the same circumstances.

Simply put, what I need is Christ in me. As a friend of mine once said, I don’t need a stronger, faster, better version of me. I need a whole new me. That’s Christ in me.

Maybe what I also need is people surrounding me who will bring out the Christ in me, calling forth my best self and not my worst.

Thankfully, Christ in me is not dependent on how super spiritual I am or how disciplined I am or anything like that. It’s all about how Christ is always faithful to His promises to finish the good work He started in me way back when.

My part is to stay surrendered and willing, no matter what.

That’s my everlasting hope, Christ in me.