princess

For Rosanne* and All The Others Like Her Out There

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*I have changed her name slightly just for the purposes of avoiding embarrassment for anyone involved. And because it sounds and looks cool.

Rosanne,

I’ve been watching you.

I’ve seen how you desperately long for attention from certain guys. You hang around their work areas and act demure and flirty around them. Why?

Maybe you’re looking for affirmation from them. Maybe you’re looking for them to love you.

Who knows?

I know one or two of these guys have pretended to be nice to you and then proceeded to talk about you behind your back. Even call you names like “slut” and “whore.”

It’s sad that people are like that. It makes my heart hurt for you.

Didn’t you know that you have a Man crazy for you? That man is Jesus.

Didn’t you know that you have a Father who adores you and longs to hold you close and sing songs of love over you while you sleep at night?

Didn’t you know that you are not the number of guys you’ve slept with or the number of failed relationships you’ve had?

You are a real-life princess because your Father is a king. The King of the Universe, in fact. God Himself loves you just as you are and not as you should be. Or even as you would like to be.

He wants you. Just you. Even with all your mess and all your scars and all your fears. He wants you to know Him and find out that He really isn’t angry at you for all your mistakes and screw-ups.

God has a man for you who will cherish and respect and love you. A man who will treat you like royalty and not like an object. A man who will be as nice and kind when talking about you as he is when talking to you.

Oh, and one more thing before I forget.

Jesus is for you. God is for you. And I am, too.

I remain, as always, your friend.

An Advent Prayer for Every Man I Know

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advent_gr

This is my prayer and my challenge for you men.

I pray you will be men, regardless of how politically incorrect or culturally unpopular it is. I pray you will have strong values and convictions and then be strong and brave to live up to those.

I pray you will learn how to look past a woman’s outward attractiveness to the true beauty within, that you see every woman not as an object but as a Princess, bought and paid for by her King.

I pray you will find your own Princess in God’s perfect time and you will learn to love her like Christ loves His own Bride and lay down your life for her every single day of the rest of your life.

I pray you rediscover the wonder and awe of the Advent season, that you learn again to laugh unabashedly with delight and to weep unashamedly with tears of both sorrow and joy.

I pray you find your own example in Joseph, who once He understood God’s plan, took Mary for His wife and raised Jesus as His own Son and whose obedience and faithfulness was mirrored in Jesus’ own obedience and faithfulness to the Father.

If you’re married, I pray your wife and children will see you falling in love with Jesus and living out that love. I pray you will lead your family by being not the stern taskmaster but the toweled feet-washer, the servant who leads by example.

May the greatest gift you receive this Christmas be a reaffirmation of knowing that your Abba really is fond of you. May your affirmation and identity come not from your wife or your family or your career or your house or your car but from being a Prince, bought and paid for by your King.

Last, always remember this: don’t be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Be a gentleman.

An ordinary guy’s thoughts on pretty vs. beautiful

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grace kelly 2

I am pretty much going  way outside my areas of expertise on this one. I am not a fashion person. I have spent a long time watching and observing, and have come up with my own theories. Here’s one.

There’s a big difference to me between pretty and beautiful.

Pretty is common. I see a lot of pretty girls. Beauty is much rarer and harder to define, but you know it when you see it.

Pretty is what you put on, but beauty is what comes out of you. It’s not what you wear, but who you are. Pretty is cosmetics and beauty is character.

Pretty is something you see with your eyes, but beauty is something you find when you look with your heart. You have to have your eyes open to notice. To really be aware not just of how she looks, but how she acts and how she treats others.

Pretty fades. Gravity wins and time takes its toll. Beauty grows over time as the character inside blossoms and grows toward maturity and Christlikeness.

I decided again tonight that I want beauty, even if it means waiting longer and looking with a different set of eyes. To me, kindness and compassion in a woman are beautiful. Loving the unloveable and giving to those who can’t give back and socializing with those who are not like you is beautiful.

It means I have to be a man of character if I want a woman of character. That I continue to train my eyes to see women as princesses and not objects, as society tells us they are.

There you have it. I am no expert, but I know what I feel. I hope I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I am ok with it if I am.

What true beauty looks like (from a guy’s perspective)

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grace kelly

This may get me into trouble. I’m venturing out beyond my comfort zone into uncharted territory for me as a man. I am probably way out of my league on this, but here’s what I believe about true feminine beauty. So read it with a dash of salt and a touch of grace (or more like a whole heaping handful of grace).

True beauty is more about character than cosmetics. Instead of putting on the latest fashion, it’s about putting on “compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it” (Colossians 3:12).” Some questions I would ask any woman who wants to be known for her beauty are: 1) How do you treat those who are different than you? 2) Do you go out of your way to associate with those who are not in your social circles, and possibly beneath you in terms of societal rankings? 3) Have you given of yourself to someone you know will never be able to repay you?

In my opinion, true beauty means a woman need not always try to prove or justify herself. It means that she knows who she is, or better yet Whose she is. That she is a daughter of the King, a princess and knows how to act like one. It means that if I ever want to pursue and court her, I must treat her like the princess and child of God she is. True beauty means that if I took her and turned her over, I would see God’s signature as proof of her priceless worth (and yes, that one came from Mike Glenn, not me. Gotta give props where props are due!)

Charm is deceitful and beauty of the outer kind is vain and fleeting. But fearing the Lord is what makes a woman lovely. I have always thought that Grace Kelly was one of the most beautiful women ever, and I think it’s because you see gentleness and kindness in her eyes.

I’ve changed a lot in my views about what makes a woman beautiful. Now I think what makes her beautiful is her transparency, where Christ shines brightest through her. That’s what I want in a wife. That and a sense of humor, cause she’s pretty much gonna need it with me. And maybe Rachel Ray’s cooking skills. Ok, that last part was a joke. Maybe.

I’ve probably got a whole lot to learn about this topic, but I hope I’ve made a good start. Which is always being willing to admit how little you know about what you thought you had all figured out. That’s where I am.