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Constructive Criticism?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“Wounds inflicted by the correction of a friend prove he is faithful; the abundant kisses of an enemy show his lies” (Prov. 27:6).

I don’t like getting criticized. To be honest, it hurts my ego. It’s okay if I find fault with myself for doing dumb stuff but I’d prefer if other people didn’t. Still, if I’m honest I have to also admit that I need it. I need someone else who will keep me accountable for my words and my actions so that they line up with what I profess.

I see so many posts on various social media that basically say, “I do what I want and don’t you dare judge me”, i.e. say anything that might be construed as negative or critical in any way (or even someone who tells you the honest truth). While Jesus did speak against those who are judgmental or who are critical and mean-spirited, I do think it’s equally wrong and dangerous to live outside of any kind of accountability. After all, as a pastor once said, “The first person you lie to is yourself.”

You and I both need people who will get in our faces (in a loving manner) and call us out when we speak and act in ways contrary to our true selves. We need people who will say, “What you’re doing doesn’t match what you say you believe and that’s giving the faith you profess a bad name.”

True, the ability to speak that way has to be granted. Only true friends to whom I give the right can speak this way. And no, being a prophet doesn’t give you the right to trample over people’s feelings and be careless with your words. Prophets always spoke God’s truth in love and often spoke God’s judgment through heavy hearts and tears.

I’ve heard that for every rebuking/correctional word you speak you should always give two encouraging or complimentary words. And I do believe it’s never a good idea to try to rebuke or correct another person via any other forms of communication other than face-to-face. E-mails and texts and posts are good in their way, but they leave out facial expressions and tone of voice so vital to any kind of constructive criticism.

Most of all, remember this. The God who chases after you isn’t running you down to tell you what a no-good lowdown dirty dog you are. His words to you tonight are this: you are still My Beloved, the apple of My eye, and I thought you were worth dying for. I love you just as you are but I refuse to leave you that way. I won’t ever stop with you until you look just like My Son Jesus.”

 

My Progress Update

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“Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen” (Hebrews 11:1)

For those who are new to this blog or who haven’t been keeping up, I’ve been reading through the Bible in The Voice translation this year. I really like it so far, especially the way it translates Christ as “the Anointed One.” I also like the modern yet faithful wording.

I’ve made it all the way to 2 Peter, which means I don’t have far to go. Just 6 more books. I suppose I’m a bit ahead of schedule. I figure I’ll be done before July 1, the midway point of the year.

I’ll give you a taste of what I’ve been reading lately:

“Blessed is God, the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One! Because He has raised Jesus the Anointed from death, through His great mercy we have been reborn into a living hope— reborn for an eternal inheritance, held in reserve in heaven, that will never fade or fail. Through faith, God’s power is standing watch, protecting you for a salvation that you will see completely at the end of things. You should greatly rejoice in what is waiting for you, even if now for a little while you have to suffer various trials. Suffering tests your faith which is more valuable than gold (remember that gold, although it is perishable, is tested by fire) so that if it is found genuine, you can receive praise, honor, and glory when Jesus the Anointed, our Liberating King, is revealed at last.

Although you haven’t seen Jesus, you still love Him. Although you don’t yet see Him, you do believe in Him and celebrate with a joy that is glorious and beyond words. You are receiving the salvation of your souls as the result of your faith” (1 Peter 1: 3-9).

I think that says it all.

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17 Days In

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I reported to you earlier that I had decided to give up not only Facebook, but all forms of social media this year for Lent. Obviously excluding WordPress.

It’s been 17 days (by my count) out of 46. So far, so good. I haven’t missed social media like I thought I would. In fact, most of the time, I don’t really even think about it much.

I’ve used my newfound free time in catching up on my reading and movie watching. On the book front, I’m currently reading Anne of the Islands (the third book of the Anne of Green Gables series– don’t judge) as well as diligently reading through The Voice translation of the Bible (I’m up to Isaiah 23).

Recently, I re-watched all the Harry Potter movies and remembered why I liked them so much the first time. Also, I was astounded all over again at how many incredible well-known actors they enlisted for these film adaptations of children’s books.

I find myself less anxious and more calm without social media. I do miss seeing what my friends post, but I also don’t miss checking to see who commented on my own posts (a bad habit that I still sometimes struggle with).

I’m still praying for more discipline and more willingness to create space and silence for God to speak to me. I’m praying for the ability to quiet my own mind and listen to that Still Small Voice that will never compete with my own noise.

That’s all I have for now. I’ll keep you posted for the remaining 29 days of Lent.

Going Back to Narnia

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Once again, I’m heading back to the wonderful land of Narnia.

For those who either a) live under a rock and haven’t heard of Narnia or b) aren’t as into books and reading as me, here’s what I mean. I’m rereading The Chronicles of Narnia, making it the 15th year running that I have read through these books. Maybe more than that. I haven’t exactly kept a precise count.

For me, it’s like going back to a familiar vacation spot or visiting old friends you haven’t seen in a while. It’s very much like going to a favorite restaurant or shop or location that you haven’t been to in a while.

I’ll get to meet up with Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy (the inspiration for my cat’s name, in case you were wondering) as well as all the Narnian characters such as Mr. Tumnus, Puddleglum, Glimfeather, Prince Rilian and others. Especially Aslan. And if you don’t know who these people are, I highly recommend finding out by picking up these books. You won’t regret it.

I have the full-color collector’s editions with illustrations by Pauline Baynes. Those are the best, in my opinion, but any way you read them– in dusty old books or on a Kindle or some other electronic reading device– the stories are always captivating and charming and exciting and endearing. Even if you’ve read them as many times as I have.

Old books are the best, I think. Particularly the ones that have a bit of a musty, used smell and a worn, loved feel about the cover and pages. I’m all for Kindles and iPads, but the reading experience just isn’t the same. Call me old-fashioned.

Well, I suppose that if I want to get to Narnia, I should probably wrap this little blog up. Maybe I’ll see you there.

My Rights

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For the record, I am not one of those teetotalers who are against everything remotely fun. I have no problem with those who have the occasional beer or glass of wine. I’m okay with dancing. Even the Macarena.

I have noticed a disturbing Facebook trend among people who profess to be believers. One post will be about how much they love Jesus and the next will be along the lines of “I’ll live my life however I want and don’t you dare judge me” and “It’s my right to do whatever I feel like because I know God will forgive me in the end.”

I love what my pastor said: no one will stand in front of Jesus with His nail-scarred hands and feet and argue about their rights. Anyone who truly follows Jesus has laid down their rights.

If anyone had the right to insist upon his rights, it would have been Jesus. Yet that very same Jesus didn’t insist on clinging to His equality with God or His heavenly authority. He laid all that down and emptied Himself, becoming an obedient slave willing to go through torture and death instead of claiming His own rights.

No one has the right to cause a brother or sister to stumble, like drinking a beer or a glass of wine in front of a fellow believer who struggles with addiction to alcohol. The Apostle Paul says that while everything may be permissible, not everything is beneficial or helpful.

The verse that always convicts me is the one that says that whatever isn’t done in faith is sin. For me, a non-drinker, there have been lots of times I’ve sinned by not acting in faith.

The question isn’t “Do I have the right?” The question is “How will this honor and glorify Jesus?”

Ultimately, I laid down my rights when I said yes to Jesus and decided to follow Him. I was bought with a price and Jesus owns me completely. That includes my rights.

My prayer is that my life will be my witness to how good God is and that there will be nothing in my life that impairs that witness in any way. I hope that’s your prayer, too.

PS I know that I am prone to a judgmental spirit at times, but I hope you’ve read these words from a perspective of grace. I know I’ve messed up way too much to ever condemn anyone else for anything. We all need Jesus every moment of every day.

The Creative Process

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Well, I confess that I’m once again stumped as to what to write about. I can’t think of a single interesting topic. As the saying goes, I cannot brain today; I has the dumb. True indeed. I has the dumb.

So maybe I thought I’d give you a bit of insight into the creative process that goes into writing a daily blog. In case you were wanting to try your hand at it.

My process is this: I ain’t got one.

I usually pay attention during the day and at some point, something will strike me: a bit of a conversation, a lyric from a song, a line from a movie. Just about anything.

Sometimes, I have no idea what to write about until I actually start writing. Like tonight. Sometimes I will borrow from something I’ve read that speaks my heart and mind better than I could.

They won’t all be the best blog ever written. Some will suck. But for me, the goal is writing something every day, whether anybody else reads it or not.

I’m still thankful for anyone else who reads these. I hope you’ve had as much fun reading them as I have in writing them.

That’s all. Good night (unless you’re reading this in full daylight, then I say “Good day!”

My Nothing Blog (Again)

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When you write a daily blog, chances are very good that some days you’ll have the ol’ blogger’s block. I’ve written almost 1,300 of these, so I’m allowed to have the occasional off-night.

I’m thinking that in my experience, nothing ever quite works out exactly like you want, but more often than not, what you get is better than what you originally expected. Try working that one out in your head.

Sometimes, you say goodbye to people you thought would always be around. Some people pop into your life unexpectedly and stay for a while. Very few will be in your life for the long haul.

I’m thankful for all the people in my life, whether they were there for one hour, one day, one week, one month, or one year. Some have gone and some are still around. Some were blessings and some were lessons.

If you’re reading this, I’m thankful for you. I don’t take you for granted.

Hopefully, I’ll have something better to write about tomorrow.

One Second and One Year Later

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“What was intended to tear you apart, God intends it to set you apart. What has torn you, God makes a thin place to see glory” (Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift).

I just realized today that it’s been exactly one year today since I got hit by that car. And for those who weren’t keeping up with my blogs or my Facebook posts then, I got hit by a car. FYI.

I was crossing the street in downtown Franklin, ticket in hand to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I didn’t look both ways before crossing and stepped in front of a Ford Mustang. Hey, I only get hit by the finest American-made vehicles.

I actually only got side-swiped. It was enough to knock me down and to take off the side-view mirror of the car.

I felt worse for the young girl driving the car than for me. She was so apologetic and remorseful. And it really wasn’t her fault. I was the one crossing where there wasn’t a crosswalk, walking without looking.

Even now, it’s easy to wonder what would have happened if I’d waited one second. Just one second.

I’d have seen that movie. I’d have skipped a few hours in the ER. I’d still have roughly $1,600 in my pocket.

I’m sure you’ve done that.

Maybe it’s a word or a phrase spoken in the heat of the moment out of frustration or anger.

Maybe it’s a bad decision made in haste or out of desperation or anxiety or exhaustion.

Maybe it’s the friendship you ruined or the family member you drove off with an insensitive remark or unkind word.

Maybe it’s one false step on a slick spot in the garage or on a slippery patch of ice on some stairs.

You wonder what it would be like if you could just have that one second back to do over.

I know two things: 1) if you could go back, you’d erase every good thing that’s happened since, and 2) you can’t go back anyway (at least not without a 1985 DeLorean or some other time-travelling device).

What you can do is:

1) Be thankful that you’re still here and that you’re still alive and blessed with life and friends and comforts and (best of all) God Himself.

2) Remember that God can turn even the worst moments of your life into stories worth hearing, stories that make people want to know more about your God.

3) All really and truly is grace (something I borrowed from Ann Voskamp). Nothing that happens to you is in vain or needless. God works everything– and I mean EVERYTHING– together for your good and His glory.

I finally got to see that movie. My finger looks a bit funny but it still works. I look both ways EVERY time before crossing the street now. Life is still good, God is still great, and I am still very much blessed.

Technology Rocks (Or Why I Love My iPad 3)

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Recently, I have made strides in my technological awareness and hipsterness. And by recently, I mean the last two years.

First came the Sony Vaio, which narrowly defeated the MacBook Pro as my choice of laptop. And I do mean narrowly. Ultimately, the Vaio was cheaper.

Then came the iPhone 5. I thought about other choices like droids and Windows phones, but for me it wasn’t much of a contest. Most people I know who have smart phones have iPhones and just about all the ones who have iPhones love them. Case closed.

The iPad 3 came into my hands unexpectedly. I wanted to downsize and simplify my life, so I went through and picked out LOTS of DVDs and CDs to trade in at McKays. I received enough credit to get the 64 GB iPad 3 they had on display.

Actually, I had enough total credit to get two iPads. The first one, an iPad 2, I ended up giving to mother dearest, and the second one I am typing this on.

I’ve decided that my next laptop will in no uncertain terms be a Mac. I think me and Windows have irreconcilable differences and it’s best that we part ways.

I do think that as great and wonderful as technology is, it can (and should) never replace face-to-face conversations. I think we are losing the ability to be in community and to have meaningful relationships due to our unhealthy obsession with all things social media and smart phones and tablets.

It’s not uncommon to ignore the person in front of you to chat with someone via text. Social media might not have killed common courtesy and manners, but it has paved the slippery slope toward that end.

You can have up to 5,000 friends on Facebook and almost as many followers on Twitter and Instagram. The result? We take people and relationships for granted and treat friendships casually and cavalierly.

We’ve even bought into the insidious lie that you can be friends with everyone. You can be friendly with everyone, but if you want actual relationships with even the tiniest bit of depth and meaning, you have to choose a handful of lives to invest in.

I’m glad when I needed help God didn’t send a text or a tweet. He didn’t post on my Facebook wall or poke me. He sent His real-life, flesh-and-blood, one-of-a-kind Son. He took on my skin and walked around in my shoes.

Yeah, I need to put down my devices more and be in the moment. To look people in the eye and smile and say hi. In an age where communication has never been more prevalent and available, people are more lonely than ever before.

But I still want my Mac.

Those Times

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I’ve been living my miracle. I’ve been counting my blessings and finding joy in the everyday minutiae of life. But sometimes . . . .

You know the feeling. It happens when you’re tired or hungry or by yourself– or all three. 

You feel like your friends will all eventually abandon you. Little things, like someone not responding to a text or someone else who usually liked and commented on your posts not having done so for a few days, seem like proof that you’re not really wanted or desired.

You find it’s much easier to wallow in that old mire of self-pity and entitlement than to fight for the joy and to consciously bring to mind the blessings. Sometimes it does feel good (but not in a good way) to feel sorry for yourself and believe that no one truly understands or cares about you. Lies are sometimes easier to believe and more comforting than the truth. Well, most of the time.

It’s at those times when you want to lean on what you’re feeling as a gauge for how you’re doing. It’s times when you want to use your understanding as a crutch for figuring out your life at that particular moment.

But just remember this familiar verse:

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“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding [or feelings]. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6. Amplified)

I added that part about feelings, in case you wondered. But it’s implied in the Hebrew. 

Trust God, not in how you feel or what you think. Those things (thoughts and feelings) aren’t always trustworthy. But God is.

And I know from experience your friends aren’t nearly as ready to abandon you as you think they are. Sometimes, they just get caught up in life, their own pain, crazy work or school, etc. They haven’t forgotten or left you.

Remember even if one or two has left you, God never will. He’s promised with an oath as sure as Himself to be with you, no matter what, not only up to the end, but beyond.

That should help you get past those times.