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Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality
OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.
322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.
323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).
324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.
325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.
326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.
327) Orange popsicles.
328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”
329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.
330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.
331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).
332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.
333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.
334) Really small Bibles.
335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.
336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.
337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.
338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.
339) The Cheesecake Factory.
340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).
341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.
342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.
343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.
344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.
345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).
346) Food in general.
347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.
348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.
349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.
350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.
Things I Love 8: Greg’s Sanity Has Left the Building
FYI: these blogs will continue until I get to 1,000 things I love. It’s from the book, One Thousand Gifts, so I’m trying to list out– wait for it– 1,000 little things that I believe are God’s gifts to me and daily reminders that stir me to gratitude and thanksgiving as a lifestyle. Plus, I don’t have to worry about what I will be blogging on until at least July of 2014. Just kidding. Sort of.
Ok. Here goes the list, starting at #168. Drum roll, please.
168) Looking through old photo albums and reliving those old memories and remembering people who’ve been gone from my life for a while (and thinking they’re looking down from heaven and smiling at those photos, too).
169) My extremely loud Hawaiian shirt, which one random teenager called “sick.” I guess that’s a compliment. I’m not really sure.
170) Everything related to either Narnia and Wardrobes or Middle Earth and Hobbits.
171) Surprise birthday parties (hint, hint, subtle subliminal suggestion. . . cough).
172) Celebrating Easter and remembering that the Resurrection changed EVERYTHING. Including me.
173) That Jesus would have chosen the nails and the cross and the agony if only for me alone.
174) By Jesus loving me unconditionally and prodigally, he made me loveable.
175) Silent movies.
176) Box hockey (and the fact that I know what box hockey is).
177) All my high school reunions where I see old friends and get to catch up after 10 (or 20) years apart.
178) That I get to be a small part of Kairos, a worship gathering for young adults, every week and I see God at work there every single week.
179) Being content in my relationships and not obsessively wondering where they might or might not be headed,
180) Knowing that if the absolute worst case scenario should happen, I would still be loved by Jesus and God would still work even that out for my good and his glory.
181) How randomly my brain works these days.
182) The vast array of autumn colors from the leaves changing and falling.
183) Doing small random acts of kindness for people when they least expect it.
184) Any positive news stories (because they are sadly the exception and not the rule).
185) That I’m down to 715 more things to be thankful for.
186) Now it’s only 714.
187) That I’m not what everyone else thinks I am or even what I think of myself, but only what Jesus says I am– Chosen, Redeemed, Beloved, Child of God, Forgiven, Free, etc.
188) That Jesus won’t ever stop reminding me of my true identity and sending friends who will help me remember the song in my heart when I forget the words.
189) Lightning bugs at night in an open field.
190) Cheese grits made just right.
191) That I probably have at least 32 more of these blogs a-comin’ your way. But not in a row.
Another Perfect Night in Downtown Franklin
There’s a different vibe to downtown Franklin on Thursdays than on a weeknight. It’s more laid back, less crowded, and not nearly as hectic. Best of all, there’s less of a wait in all my favorite places– McCreary’s Irish Pub, The Frothy Monkey, Starbucks, etc.
I ran into some friends tonight– one newer friend who’s in my community group and one friend formerly of the Frankin Theatre who I haven’t seen in quite a while. I even ran into a former work colleague who I hadn’t seen in over a year. It wasn’t like the last time, where everywhere I went I knew at least one person, but it was close.
I made a point to sit on the porch at Frothy Monkey and people-watch. If I were to concoct a perfect spring night, I couldn’t do any better than tonight. Temperature in the low 70’s, breeze blowing, and the sweet scents of spring in the air.
I saw another friend from college who I’ve lost contact with over the years, but she didn’t recognize me. Perhaps, that’s a friendship that was meant for a time, but has served its purpose. Who knows? Only God.
I did a lot of walking and observing. I saw a lot of couples holding hands, a lot of teenagers, a lot of mature folks, and plenty of families. It was a good mix, a good cross-section of life. And for once I didn’t feel like an outsider looking in, but like one of them.
I fit in here. I feel accepted here. People know my face and my name.
Everyone deserves a place to belong, people to belong to, and the feeling of being wanted and loved. In that regard, I am beyond blessed by feeling so loved and accepted and treasured by family and friends.
Most of all, I am increasingly aware daily that I am loved and treasured and accepted by my Abba Father. I pray you know that truth more and more every single day and may it captivate your hearts and minds as it has captivated mine.
What You Can’t Do (And What You Can)
I have gathered a collection of some observations that I’d like to share with you. Most of them fall into the “duh” category, but sometimes we need those basic reminders. Okay, I do.
1) You can’t catch up on a bad night of sleep in one night. It’s not like if you only got 2 hours of sleep that you can sleep 14 hours the next night and be back to your average of 8. First of all, I’d be a zombie after 14 hours of sleep. Second, I’d still be tired. Just a very tired zombie.
2) You can’t repeat the past (regardless of what Jay Gatsby says). The only way to do that would be for you to go back to who you were then, which is impossible. Also, everyone else in that scene would have to revert back to who they were then, too. You see the problem? Besides, what lies ahead, what God has for you, is way better than anything in your past.
3) You can’t make people be friends with you if they don’t want to be. You can be a friend for your part, regardless of whether that friendship is returned or not.
4) You can’t succeed if you don’t try. You aren’t guaranteed success if you try, but you are 100% destined to fail if you fail to try. Oooh, that should be cross-stitched and hung on somebody’s wall. That was good.
5) You CAN trust God at all times at any point in your life to get you through anything. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a choirboy or a saint. The key is asking for help. The key is acknowledging your need and God’s vast supply.
6) You CAN trust God’s perfect timing. It may not be according to your timetable, but it will absolutely come when you need it most. And most likely when you’re least expecting it or looking for it.
7) You can’t be whatever you want to be and you can’t do anything you put your mind to (like me wanting to dunk on a 10-foot basketball goal). But you CAN be exactly what God created you to be and you CAN fulfill the purposes he created you for.
More reminders to come later.
What If?
I went running today for the first time in over two weeks after I tweaked my knee. I felt great. My knee felt great. And I found out that I’m not the world’s slowest runner after all. There’s at least one person out there slower than me, and I know because I passed her.
But then I got to thinking. What if my knee had been messed up to the point where I couldn’t ever run again? Would I still be thankful?
Or what if I lost my health? Would I still be able to wake up in the morning with gratitude for another day of being alive?
What if I lost my friends and family? Would I still be able to worship with a sincere heart and sing about the goodness of God?
What if God took away from me everything and everyone that I daily take for granted? What and who would I have left? Would I have anything at all left?
Would I still be able to praise Jesus for saving me if he never did one more thing for me?
Could I live a life of thanksgiving to my God for who he is if I never saw another visible sign of his presence?
Is God and God alone truly enough for me?
I wish I could say yes, but I find myself leaning on other crutches when I get tired or stressed or upset. I find myself thinking more about other things and people than about God. Sometimes God feels like a last resort after all my other planning has failed.
The truth I need to remember today (and maybe you do, too) is that God is the only one able to save me. He’s the only one strong enough to hold my life together and to hold me when I’m falling to pieces. He’s the only absolute constant that I can count on who won’t ever leave or forsake me.
So all of this to say that I need to be more thankful for what and who I have in my life. I need to remember where it all comes from, too.
I’m thankful most of all that God is still working on me, making me a better man, son, brother, friend, husband (possibly one day), father (also possibly one day), friend, and follower of Jesus.
Thanks for the Birthday Wishes
Since I gave up facebook for lent (or took a sabbatical, if you will), I thought I’d use this forum to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for all the posts wishing me a happy birthday.
My response goes like this: Thank you. Yes, it has been a great birthday. Yes, I’d like that Starbucks. I like the idea of an extended birthday celebration, since February is the shortest month, so I will keep partying right on into March.
I’m feeling the facebook love. I know that ultimately the only approval that matters is from God, but it’s still nice to know that I am appreciated by so many people from so many different parts of my life.
So, for all of you who are just dying to know what I did today, here goes. It was a low-key day. My parents took me to Miller’s Grocery in Christiana, a fantastic meat and three restaurant that everyone within 50 miles of Nashville should check out. I watched It Happenend One Night, an old Frank Capra movie that was the first to win Oscars in every major category. I had quality therapy time with my cat Lucy, who deemed my lap worthy of her presence and her nap time.
Tomorrow, I’m volunteering at the Youth Evangelism Conference. I served last year and had a lot of fun, plus I came to one of these conferences as a youth way back in 1897. I look at this weekend as paying it forward to the next generation of youth.
I’ll be back on facebook after Easter, but I wanted to make sure that my gratitude didn’t go unexpressed. I am eternally grateful to every single one of my facebook friends, even to the ones who didn’t get around to wishing me a happy birthday. You all rock.
Not Alone
Have you ever looked at somebody else who seems to have it all together and been a little envious? Maybe it’s a guy with the classic good looks who has a successful career and always seems to have a beautiful girl on his arm. Or maybe a girl who never seems to have any problems and is the one that every guy wants to talk to.
Admit it. You’ve envied. You’ve coveted. You’ve probably wanted to trade places or, if you’re feeling really spiteful, you hope something bad happens to that person. Not tragically bad, but embarassingly bad.
But have you ever stopped and wondered what really goes on in that person’s life? Do you ever stop to think that maybe behind that perfect facade, that person is hurting. Maybe that person is looking at you and envying you for something he or she doesn’t have.
The point is that you never know the whole story. You only see the surface, not what’s underneath. You may never see the pain, the frustration, the unfulfilled longings, the pent-up anger, the quiet desperation.
Maybe that person is you. Maybe you’re the one who’s hanging by a thread to your faith, who has all but given up on believing that anything will really ever change. Maybe you just don’t feel anything anymore and don’t think God really knows or cares about you.
You’re not alone.
I know when I’ve been deeply discouraged, the words “I know what you’re going through” were more helpful to me than the person speaking them realized. I didn’t want to hear that everything was going to be fine. I didn’t need to hear what I needed to do to get over it. I just needed to know that I wasn’t alone in my struggle.
The biggest lie of the enemy is that you are the only one struggling and that you can never tell anyone, but most go on secretly bearing your pain and shame. The truth is that we are all broken in some way, dealing with a shameful past full of secrets and a pain that never seems to go away. Some are just better at hiding their brokenness than others.
So, even though you might not want to hear it at the moment, it will get better. It did for me. God does know where you are and what you’re going through and yes, he does care. He even loves you in spite of the dark bitter thoughts you carry in your mind.
And you are most definitely not alone.
A Bittersweet Christmas
It’s been a bittersweet 2012 Christmas.
I’ve loved being with family and seeing my 14-month old niece getting the hang of walking and just starting to say her first words. Seeing my nephews’ faces light up with all their Christmas presents has been fun, too.
But today I’ve also been thinking a lot about my granddaddy who took his life 30 years ago tonight. It was Christmas Day 1982 when he decided that life wasn’t worth living anymore.
I still remember where I was when I found out about his suicide. I remember my pastor at the time coming over to tell me and how my 10-year old brain couldn’t process the news, so I went back to my room to watch the football game on my little black-and-white TV. I still don’t think I’ve completely processed it yet.
I have trouble remembering what he looked like, especially when he smiled, or what his laugh sounded like. I do know that I still miss him and I have so many things I’d like to tell him.
I’d tell him that he missed out on a lot. Like my sister and I growing up. Her getting married and having children. All of us getting older and closer together as a family. And most of all, how we’ve found God to be a comfort and a refuge.
I’d tell him that we all loved him so much. That we still love him so much, even 30 years after he left us. I’d tell him that there’s nothing so bad that family can’t help, and especially God’s love can’t get you through.
I’d say that I understand now a little better why he did what he did. I’m glad that he’s found peace at last in the arms of Jesus and has no more fears or worries or self-doubts.
I have something that belonged to him– an old tube radio from the 50’s that still works. It’s nice to be able to turn it on and think that I’m listening to the same radio that he kept on his workbench all those years. It makes me smile and remember him in happier times.
I’m a little more thankful for my family tonight. I hope to hug them more often, be more present in their lives, and tell them I love them as often as possible. You never know when it could be the last time you might have the chance.
Not Forgotten
Do you ever sometimes feel like your friends have forgotten that you exist? Does it seem that they can make time for other friends but not for you? Do you feel ignored?
First of all, know that you are not alone. Many people have felt this way from time to time (including me).
Second of all, remember that it’s probably not a good thing to overthink it, especially late at night, because when you’re tired, you don’t think as clearly and things seem worse than they really are. Innocent remarks can take on sinister undertones at 2 am.
Third of all, God has not forgotten you. When you seem most alone, God still knows who you are and where you are. He knows your name, your true name, that no one else but he and you know. You are still on his mind and there is not a moment that goes by where he doesn’t think of you and love you and root for you.
So, if you’re having trouble sleeping tonight (like me), try some warm milk. Meditate not on what feels like the abandonment of your friends, but on the promises of God for you which are as good as done.
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