That’s How You Know

bacon bandaids

“When you wake up one morning surprised to see the world exists
And your eyes ain’t full of tears
Your heart ain’t full of bitterness

That’s how you know, that’s how you know
That’s how you know, that’s how you know

When you’re thankful that you ever knew a love this strong
When you finally find the courage to write this song

That’s how you know
That’s how you know
That’s how you know
You’re moving on………” (Lori McKenna)

Growth is hard to detect on a daily basis. That wound may not look like it’s healing on an hour-to-hour basis. But here is some of the evidence that I’ve started growing and healing:

1) When a friend seems to so silent on me, i.e. doesn’t comment on my posts nearly as much or quits responding to texts, I don’t freak out and assume the worst. I don’t automatically go to defcon-4 and wonder how I’ve horribly offended the person. I breathe deeply a few times and let it go and choose to believe the best.

2) Rejection doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it did even last year. I’ve learned to let it go and move on and appreciate the people who do want me around. It’s less tiring that way.

3) I don’t get caught up in rehearsing what I will say to this person or that person if I see them. I don’t obsess over what somebody meant by a throwaway phrase or something that hit me wrong. I try to focus on the present and all the blessings there.

4) I don’t feel the need to be appreciated or noticed all the time. I can simply enjoy the moment quietly. Also, I’ve decided that since I’ve stopped trying so hard to be witty and humorous, I’m a lot funnier. At least in my own head.

I heard something I like a lot: time doesn’t heal all wounds; only Jesus does that. Remember that the next time, but also remember He’s still the best Physician when it comes to broken hearts and lives.

 

Confession Session #3,908: Friendships And All That Other Stuff

I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not the best at relationships, especially friendships. I tend to either be overwhelmingly friendly or awkward. I think most people have a low Greg-tolerance and after they’ve reached that limit, they have to go home and wash their hair or feed the dog.

I know I overstay my welcome in certain conversations and the other person finally has to go home, put on some Barry Manilow, and lie down for a while. FYI: you can tell me in a nice way to shut up and go away if you need to.

I think I’ve lost a few friendships through being too weird or too goofy or too me. And some relationships have simply run their course and they have served God’s purpose in my life (and hopefully, the reverse).

In the past, I might have obsessed over those and wondered what I could have done differently. I might even have made a fool of myself trying to extend a friendship beyond its natural life.

After all that, I confess that I’m much better than I used to be. I try not to talk so fast and to not always talk about me. I’m learning to listen and not always be thinking about my next response. I’m growing in grace.

Jesus truly has been the friend that’s closer than a brother and he’s teaching me how to be a better friend. A better prayer warrior. A better empathizer. And hopefully, one day, a better husband and father.

So, I’m asking for grace from you. And I’m trying to give it in those moments when you need it. All the best relationships are based on grace and forgiveness and second chances and do-overs.

I believe that what goes around comes around. I also believe that the way you treat others indicates your love for God. People who love God and are secure in God’s love for them can’t help but be loving and forgiving and generous in their relationships.

I know a little of me goes a long way sometimes, so I’ll try not to overstay my welcome. And I’ll give you space when you need a break from me, ’cause there are times I need a break from me (said jokingly).

May we each be Jesus to each other and help each other as we all try to figure out this crazy life business. We really do need each other.