When Helping Hurts: What’s In Your Hand?

“The Lord said to [Moses], “What is that in your hand?” He said, “A staff” (Exodus 4:2).

So far, this book is not light reading for when you can’t sleep at night. It’s deep and challenging and (on occasion) causes my head to hurt.

I have a couple of takeaways.

One is that when dealing with impoverished communities, the best way to look at the poor is not from a needs-based analysis, i.e. what do you lack in terms of material resources, finances, education, mindset, etc., but from an assets-based one which asks, “What is that in your hand?” In other words, what skills and talents do you bring to the table? What knowledge of your own community could you give us to help better serve you?

Another is instead of implementing a one size fits all blueprint approach to every crises or problem involving poor communities, the better way is a learning process, where instead of “doing to” and “doing for” the people we serve, we are “doing with,” involving these people in the process and actually empowering them to be a part of the solution to their problems.

Above all, the goal is to see the innate image of God in the people we serve, distorted as it may be from the effects of sin and the fall. It’s not us coming down from on high to serve those who aren’t as good as us, but broken people serving other broken people with the ideal scenario being that both parties learn and grow and change and find healing in the process.

Doing ministry in this way takes longer and goes against our microwave, fast-food, quick-fix mentality, but is by far the better way in the long run.

There will be more of these updates as I continue to make my way through this book. Seriously, it’s a very good book, but it’s like one of those books that I read in seminary. It makes me have to use muscles in my brain that I haven’t used in a while, so I may have to read parts more than once to really grasp it.

But that’s a good thing. Exercise is good, even if it gives me a sore brain in the morning, right?

PS I’ve included a link to the amazon webpage for this book if you’re interested in learning more about it or purchasing it. I recommend it for anyone who is even remotely interested in pursuing either short-term or long-term missions.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Helping-Hurts-Alleviate-Yourself/dp/0802409989/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424978877&sr=1-1&keywords=when+helping+hurts

Oh Well

I have some shocking news that you may find hard to take. In fact, you may want to sit down for this one. . . wait for it . . . not everybody is going to like you.

OK, maybe I’m the only one who had a hard time accepting this truth. As a recovering co-dependent approval addict, I want everybody to like me. At least, if somebody doesn’t like me, I want to know the reason so I can change a behavior that’s offensive or modify an annoying habit.

But not everybody’s going to like you. And of those who don’t, probably few will ever tell you why. That’s just a hard lesson I’ve had to learn.

Of course most of the people who you think don’t like you probably do. You probably read them wrong. Or maybe that’s just me. I’ve tended to convince myself that someone else didn’t like me when he or she really didn’t. On a side note, they should probably make pills for this.

You can’t be all things to all people all the time. You can’t please everybody. But you can be yourself. You can be who God made you to be. At the end of the day, his opinion of you is really the only one that matters. And he likes you, by the way, in addition to loving you.

I’m better at this than I used to be, but I am still in the “needs improvement” category. At the end of the day, no one wants to be disliked. Well, 99% feel that way. Nobody sets out to alienate people or create enemies.

But you can’t control how others will respond or how they will perceive you. You can only control you by being the best you possible and praying for the ones who don’t like the result.

And there will be more than enough people who like you for you to offset the difference anyway.