masculinity

A Man Like Jesus

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“A twitter hashtag about masculinity got me to thinking: If I’m to be a man like Jesus, what will I be like?

I will be a healer.

I will defend the powerless.

I’ll absolutely frighten and enrage the self-righteous.

I won’t be impressed by those with celebrity, credentials, or power.

I’ll be tremendously patient with people, well beyond what they ‘deserve’.

I will not take advantage of women.

And I’ll take them seriously.

I’ll subjugate my ego for the benefit of others.

The government will consider me, and my kind, a threat.

The religious power structure will consider me, and my kind, a threat.

I’ll attract people with bad reputations, and the seemingly worthless.

I’ll welcome children.

I will exhibit meekness – power, under control. And whatever power I do have will not be used to crush people, but to set people free” (Brant Hansen).

I think all of these perfectly describe Jesus during His earthly ministry. And I think they should also describe every man who aspires to be godly and seeks to be like Jesus.

It’s really not about climbing Mount Everest or jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet. It’s not bench pressing 500 pounds or running an Ironman triathlon. It’s about how you treat those different than you and especially those who can’t possibly pay you back.

It’s not about doing good works to be seen by others, but doing them in secret so that only God and you know. Sometimes, living a simple life of faith will result in good deeds that even you aren’t aware of because they naturally flow out of a heart full of grace and generosity.

Being a man means doing what’s right even if the majority says it’s wrong. It means holding to biblical convictions when that gets you ostracized. It means standing in the gap for the least of these when it can’t possibly benefit your career or your brand or your image.

Being a man means loving your spouse and your family well. Even if you’re not married, you can still choose to love your family and those around you well. That means you love others more than you love yourself and put them first instead of you. It’s about sacrifice and generosity.

Being a man most of all means being like Jesus. It’s living out Philippians 2:5-11 every single day and having this mind in you that was in Christ Jesus.

Going Against the Flow (When a Guy Becomes a Man)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

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Tonight was a good reminder for me as a man of what I’m up against. Never in history has true masculinity been under such attack. Men are viewed alternately as unnecessary, evil, primitive, oppressive, and the cause of all that’s wrong with the world.

The alternatives are 1) to give up and drop out as a functioning member of society, 2) give in to the stereotypes of men as beer-swilling, skirt-chasing buffoons who only live by their appetites.

Then there’s what’s behind door #3. This option is the hardest but most rewarding.

It means choosing to be a man in a world of guys. It means choosing to be a gentleman in a society where manners and values are viewed as anachronistic and old-fashioned. It means swimming against the currents of culture, fashion, societal opinion, popular world-views, and even our own sinful human nature.

It means knowing who you are and where you’re going and living with intention and purpose. It means seeing and savoring Jesus, of devoting a lifetime to pursuing Christ and His heart for the world. It means Jesus becomes not one of my top priorities or even my #1 priority, but my only priority through which everything and everyone else falls into place.

it means transformed friendships, careers, goals, hobbies, and dreams.

I am in the process of finding these things out. So far, I know Whose I am, which tells me who I am– namely, God’s Beloved. I know where I’m going insofar as I want to be conformed into the image of Christ and one day become a husband who loves his wife like Christ loves His Church.

I want people to really grasp who they are in Christ and how much God values and cherishes and loves them. To show them they truly are uniquely and wonderfully made.

I can’t look for a girl who will tell me who I am or where I’m going. I can’t find my true identity in a career or a hobby. What a true woman of God will find most attractive in me is me coming alive to my calling, knowing my identity and purpose, and inviting her to be a part of it.

Notice, I did not say that finding and winning her is the adventure. That’s too small of a goal. I find someone who I can love and cherish and serve a hungry world with and who as a team and a couple can display in a godly marriage just how much Jesus loves His own Bride, the Church.

We will find that we can serve out of a Kingdom mission and purpose far more effectively together than we ever could apart. Our marriage will be about so much more than two people in love, but be about the Kingdom of God lived out in flesh and blood, bound by a covenant until death do us part.

So, I invite you in the words of the movie Say Anything: don’t be a guy. The world is full of guys. Be a man.

A Real Man

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I want to put in a disclaimer at the start of this blog: this is by no means an exhaustive treatment of the subject of manhood. Exhausting, maybe. But not exhaustive.

You don’t really get a true idea of biblical manhood from most of the voices clamoring for your attention these days. Manhood means virility. It means physical strength. It means having the right car and wearing the right suit and living in the right house and making ungodly amounts of money. According to some.

Sometimes, you get manhood spoken of derisively to refer to caveman-type behavior and values and it’s expected that any man will be rude and gross and inconsiderate.

I don’t think so. Here’s what true masculinity is, according to me.

It means holding on to what you believe, no matter what. It means having principles and values and sticking to them, regardless of who else shares them or stands with you. Even if you stand alone, you still don’t compromise your beliefs.

It means that who you are in public is the same as who you are in the dark when no one else is watching. It means you are the same person around friends and around strangers.

In terms of faith, a Christian man is one who seeks single-minded obedience to Jesus, no matter what it costs him in terms of popularity, money, fame, friends, health, and even his own life. Obedience as I heard it described very recently is doing what you know to do because it is the right thing to do and doing it as consistently as possible.

I’d also add that being a true godly man means knowing when to ask for help from others and from God. It’s the bravery to admit weaknesses and faults, the strength to shed tears, the ability to care for the helpless, and the wisdom to know when you should stand and fight and when you should back away. And by fighting, I mean speaking up for those who can’t speak for themselves and standing up for those who no one else wants to help.

A true man is passionately and unashamedly in love with Jesus Christ and doesn’t care who knows it. A true man will be the one who, after he’s gone, people will remember not him but the Spirit of Jesus in him.

There are probably a lot more good characteristics of a godly man that I left out or simply forgot. But these are just a few of the ones that I think make a real man. In this man’s humble opinion.