Lucy the Wonder Cat

Happy 18th Birthday, Lucy

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Today, I carried a pang of sadness in my heart. You see, my old cat Lucy would have turned 18 today.

It even seems a little silly to me to carry on grieving for a common ordinary cat who passed away back in June. But Lucy was no common ordinary cat. At least not to me.

She was one of the few constants in my life in a time that saw geographical and career upheaval in which I relocated to Nashville from Memphis.

She was a quiet presence in my life through those good and bad days. She always ended up in my lap, curled up and either asleep or very near asleep. She usually wound up sleeping on the pillow next to mine, comforting me with her quaint little snore.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day, June 21, when she crossed the rainbow bridge.

I honestly don’t know if our pets will wind up in heaven, but I like to believe that she’ll be there on the other side of the rainbow bridge, waiting for me when it’s my turn to cross over.

In the meantime, I find that the sadness continues to give way to happy memories. I feel blessed for every day of the 17 years she was with me, even those painful last six days.

When she got sick that last time, I kept hoping that she could somehow manage to pull through one more time, but this time, it was not to be.

I know in my heart she tried her very best to stay, but in the end her furry little body finally failed her and she was just too weak to go on.

I have a rambunctious new kitten named Peanut, who is a tortie and full of curiosity and life. She could never take the place of Lucy, but she’s a channel through which my love for Lucy can flow.

So happy 18th birthday in heaven, my little Lucy. I’ll always love you can carry you in my heart forever.

 

Missing the Old Gal Again Tonight

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

When I came up the stairs tonight, I caught myself looking for my old cat Lucy in one of her familiar napping spots either on the couch or on top of the chair. It took a second before I remembered that she’s been gone since June of last year.

Even though I had her in my life for 17 years, I still wish there had been more time.

It seems that with our loved ones, we get greedy (but in a good way). No matter how much time we have together or how long they live, it never seems like enough. Even if they live to be 105 years old, it still will be too soon for them to say goodbye.

I don’t have an answer for how to learn to be content with the amount of time we or our loved ones are given. I do think that it’s important to take all the time we have with those we love and redeem it to its full potential.

There will probably always be regrets after the fact of missed opportunities and wasted time. There will be days when things overtake people in your priorities.

You can’t go back and undo yesterday’s missed opportunities or go forward to make sure you do right.

You can only use what time you’re given in the time that’s called today, the gift of the present.

You can choose to be fully present to those who love you and whom you love.

I know to some it may sound crazy to grieve over the loss of a pet, but I don’t regret my tears. I see how the memory of her passing is giving way to all the memories of the beautiful moments we had.

Plus, I have Peanut to help continue to heal my heart.

As the old saying goes, don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

 

Post-Thanksgiving Pre-Advent Thoughts

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Apparently, this will be one of those odd years where Advent doesn’t immediately follow Thanksgiving. According to my understanding, Advent begins next Sunday. I’m not exactly an expert on these things, so it may very well be that I’m wrong about this. If so, be gentle.

Today seemed like a good day to look at old memories on Facebook and Timehop. I’m reminded that two years ago I was dog-sitting in McKay’s Mill for a very lovable and friendly dog named Millie who has since crossed the rainbow bridge.

I also see pictures of my late beloved Lucy, who was looking very contented and well-fed at the time. Part of me still wonders if I missed a clue that might have helped her live a little longer. Most of me knows that she was deeply loved and had a very good life. I was blessed to have her for those 17 years.

I also finally got around to one of the classics of modern cinema. I’m talking about Weekend at Bernie’s. No, it was not a great piece of filmmaking by any stretch, but it was a good representation of the good and bad of 80’s movies.

Today ends the extended version of the weekend known as Thanksgiving/Black Friday. I got caught up on my sleep, made it through a migraine on Saturday, and had a lovely day today.

I’m not sure what to read out of The Book of Common Prayer next. I guess I’ll get a head start on the Advent readings. It’s never too early to start getting my heart ready for the celebration of the promised Messiah.

Here’s a little taste:

“What is coming upon the world is the Light of the World. It is Christ. That is the comfort of it. The challenge of it is that it has not come yet. Only the hope for it has come, only the longing for it. In the meantime we are in the dark, and the dark, God knows, is also in us. We watch and wait for a holiness to heal us and hallow us, to liberate us from the dark. Advent is like the hush in a theater just before the curtain rises. It is like the hazy ring around the winter moon that means the coming of snow which will turn the night to silver. Soon. But for the time being, our time, darkness is where we are” (Frederick Buechner, The Hungering Dark).

Thoughts on Grief

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“I don’t believe grief passes away. It has its time and place forever. More time is added to it; it becomes a story within a story” (W. Berry).

Don’t worry. No one I know has died lately.

I was just missing my old cat Lucy a bit today after seeing an old video of her and ran across this memory on Facebook.

How true it is.

Grief never passes away. You never completely get over the sadness.

I heard that grief and loss is somewhat like losing an arm or a leg. You don’t go back to the way you were before, but you can learn to live with a new normal.

Even though I haven’t been touched by grief lately, I know several who have. I also know that this life is fleeting, so grief is inevitable for any of us who haven’t completely closed off their hearts to love.

I also know that we serve a God who in Jesus is completely acquainted with grief. Isaiah called Him a Man of sorrows.

This same Jesus also took the sting out of grief and death when He burst out of the tomb on that Easter Sunday morning. Now those of us who belong to Jesus don’t have to grieve as those who have no hope. We have hope.

I still don’t know how it works with animals. I’d like to think there’s that rainbow bridge and I’ll see Lucy again one day. I do know that all the best parts of what we had will live on in my memory and what awaits in heaven will be far better than anything I could ever possibly imagine.

In the meantime, grief and loss are a part of life. Right now, I wish they were not. One day, I know for certain that they won’t be.

 

Happy Half-Birthday, Peanut

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Between all my activities (including a Kairos Greeter Team Pumpkin Carving Event Where No Actual Pumpkins were Carved), I almost completely forgot that my little rescue kitten is now 6 months old.

I didn’t actually forget as much as I’m really bad at math.  Based on the fact that she was 11-weeks old at the time I adopted her from the shelter on June 30, I guesstimate her birthday to be on April 15. That means her actual half-birthday was this past Monday. But I’m guessing by her very relaxed, semi-comatose state that she’s not too terribly upset.

She’s been nothing but a joy and comfort to me since my old cat Lucy crossed the rainbow bridge. She’s absolutely hilarious and her name fits her very well, as she’s a nut.

I’m still adjusting to life with a geriatric cat to life with a kitten. I forgot that kittens are so energetic and clumsy. They can also be super cuddly and affectionate.

I absolutely think that Peanut being in my life is a God-wink. He knew I needed a furry little critter to love and He practically put her in my lap. As with most God-moments, it wasn’t what I was expecting but just what I needed.

I’ve told the story about how she rescued me at the shelter (as well as how she herself got rescued from I-65). You might have to go back a few blog posts to find it, but it’s there.

I’m hoping and praying that she lives at least as long as Lucy, who made it all the way to 17. However long she lives, I’m sure it will be filled with love.

At the moment, she’s laid out in front of my laptop (so excuse any typos) and very much content. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

 

 

An Update on Peanut

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

It’s been almost 3 months since I was rescued by this little furball at the Williamson County Animal Shelter. I’ve told the story about how I had a completely different cat in the carrier, ready to take home, when Peanut stuck her little paw out of the cage and gave a little piteous mew that said, “Take me instead, please!”

I did, and the rest so far is history.

She typifies the loving and affectionate nature of just about any rescue. She shows her gratitude for being taken out of that solitary little cage every chance she gets. Add that to the fact that she is 100% kitten and what you end up with is sometimes completely hilarious and always a lot of fun.

She’s quite literally growing on me. She’s more than doubled in size since I first brought her home back in June. Maybe that explains why she will eat just about anything in sight (including dog biscuits).

She can never take the place of my beloved Lucy, whom I still miss dearly. She’s her own person with very unique traits and characteristics. She has helped my heart to heal by providing another outlet for the love to flow.

I do recommend that if you’ve lost a beloved pet, go to a shelter and find a cat or dog to rescue. You could pay a lot of money to a breeder for a specialized pet, but I personally think you’ll never regret saving the life of an animal that might otherwise be euthanized.

This whole Lucy to Peanut transition has taught me that while life never quite goes according to expectation, it somehow always turns out better. God really does work all things together for good to those who love Him. That’s not just a quaint saying that you can cross stitch and stick on your refrigerator (to borrow a Mike Glenn saying) but an every day reality.

Don’t ever take anyone in your life for granted at any time. Ever. Not people. Not pets. Always let them know how much they mean to you and always make time for them because you never know when they won’t be around any more.

God is good. Life is great. I am still blessed.

More Lucy Memories

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Lost in all the hoopla about the solar eclipse, Monday, August 21, marked two months since my Lucy crossed the rainbow bridge. While I have Peanut, my lovable and playful kitten to heal my heart, I still find myself at times missing the old gal fiercely.

Tonight, I stood at the railing overlooking the stairs. I remembered how Lucy used to look up from the bottom, see me, and come running up the stairs to me. Every single time. Even when she was older and couldn’t run as well, she still willed herself to run to me, greeting me with her friendly chatter.

I remember how when I got home and found her in one of her usual napping spots, the first thing she did when she saw me was let out the hugest yawn ever. I believe it wasn’t because she found me incredibly boring but rather because she was completely relaxed and at ease with me.

I’m finding out these days that it’s possible to carry around two conflicting and completely opposite emotions at the same time. For me, it’s joy and grief, peace and longing. Sometimes, it’s hard to know where the one ends and the other begins.

It’s another reminder of the “now and not yet.” Sure, there’s good to be found here and we can have the peace of Christ, but we wait the perfect consummation of all our hopes and joys. We know that we were made for another and better world — heaven– and we have a longing and a desire that nothing earthly can satisfy.

I do wish that rainbow bridge had visiting hours. I’d go see my Lucy every chance I got. I bet she’d come running up to me and greet me with that ginormous yawn of hers. I would expect nothing less.

The Apoc-eclipse Has Come!

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Today, August 21, 2017, will be known as the day that I officially saw a solar eclipse. With my solar eclipse glasses firmly in place, of course. Going blind from retina damage is definitely not on my bucket list.

It started around 11:58 with the total eclipse part coming in at 1:30. It was amazing. It helped that my viewing location was at my sister’s neighborhood pool.

The verse in the Psalms comes to mind about the heavens declaring the glory of God and the skies proclaiming the work of His hands, and I can’t think of any other time when that was more evident than today. Truly, it was as much a work of art as it was a natural phenomenon.

I’m not sure I can fully explain all that goes into an eclipse, or what it happens. I can say that I’m thankful to have seen it at least once in my life time.

One element that will stick with me is the phenomenon known as shadow snakes. Just before and just after the moon covers the surface of the sun, apparitions can sometimes appear on the ground that look to the casual observer like snakes crawling away. To me, they looked more like reflections of rippling water in a pond.

I’m sure my new kitten Peanut was confused by it getting dark in the middle of the day. Or possibly she used it as a good excuse for taking a nap– the Johnson tradition.

I’m also thankful that my boss decided to give us all the day off to experience this phenomenon with our friends, family, and other loved ones.

PS On a sad side note, I realized today that it’s been exactly two months since my beloved Lucy crossed the rainbow bridge. I still miss her and think about her at some point every day. I still wish that rainbow bridge had visiting hours.

I will always love and miss you, Lucy.

 

 

A Little More Heartache

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I was doing just fine tonight. I’d celebrated my sister’s birthday earlier and we’d all had a grand time (except for a food allergy scare with my nephew, but even that turned out fine in the end).

Then I saw a short video of my recently deceased cat Lucy kneading the pillow next to mine, getting ready for one of her patented naps. I wanted so badly to reach through my computer screen and pull her out if only for one more night beside me. My heart still aches for moments like these that I know will never come again.

I know that you can’t short-cut the grieving process, whether it’s for a pet or for a brother or sister, husband or wife, son or daughter. It’s not a process that you ever get through, but a process where you learn to live with a new normal, like an amputee learns to live without an arm or a leg.

I’m also learning how very deep the grace of God is. I’m learning that His arms are indeed strong enough to carry and long enough to save those who feel they are drowning in sorrow and grief.

I know that faith in God doesn’t always make the road easy, but it makes it possible. I’ve learned when you’ve exhausted all your own strength and peace and joy, God becomes your strength and your peace and your joy.

Strength doesn’t mean the absence of weakness but persistence in the presence of it. Peace doesn’t mean that there’s no conflict or storms, but the knowledge that God can still calm the waves and winds of your soul. Joy doesn’t mean the absence of sorrow and pain but the ultimate belief that God can transform those griefs into gold and work even the worst possible circumstances into something far more beautiful than you could ever have dreamed.

I’m resting in the strength of God tonight. Soon, I’ll go to the shelter and bring home a cat who won’t replace my Lucy but will honor her memory with all the love that’s still left to give.

God is still good, so I am still good.

 

At the End of the Day

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

At the end of the day, I’m well spent.

I’m still a little heart-sore over my little departed fur baby Lucy. It’s an ache that I know will never fully go away, but it comes with lots of memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

I’m worn out from hoofing it all over downtown Franklin after a full day of work. I’m especially looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow with no 5 am wake-up call to interrupt my dreams.

Overall, I’m still blessed. I’m even thankful for the rain for making me appreciate sunshine all the more.

“At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together” (Psalm 4:8, The Message).