love

Farewell to Mayberry

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I saw recently where Andy Griffith passed away. For me, it’s truly the end of an era of innocence and simplicity. Sure, I know that the old Andy Griffith Show wasn’t the most realistic TV show ever, but even if it was only a dream, it was a good dream.

Thank you, Andy.

You showed the world that a true man doesn’t need swagger or bravado to be a man. A true man doesn’t need to yell or hit people to prove his masculinity.

You showed that being a real man means being a good nephew, a good father, and a good citizen. You showed that masculinity means leading by example and not just with words.

You showed me it’s okay to admit when you’re wrong and ask forgiveness. You weren’t perfect by any means, but you never quit being the gentleman or took the day off from doing the right thing.

Thank you for your humble attitude, your love for your son, your love of God, and your quiet determination.

I and every other man look at you as a hero and hope to be the kind of man you were someday.

 

Cutting Hearts

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I spent my evening doing something that I honestly never thought I would ever do again in this lifetime. Something I hadn’t done in a very long time.

I spent it cutting out paper hearts. It was part of preparation for Vacation Bible School we’re doing down at Set Free Church, a ministry that helps homeless men find their way back and helps heal families.

Then I got to thinking. Isn’t that sort of what God is doing with my own heart?

I don’t mean that God is using literal scissors, although at times that’s what it feels like.

I mean that God is in the process of reshaping and remolding my heart into one that can He can use to reach out to the people around me.

Sometimes, that means my heart gets broken. I’ve had countless times where my love for another went unreturned. I’ve had times when a dream I cherished got dashed to pieces.

More often than not, it means a snip here and there. I lose a bit of my selfishness and make room for doing for others without expecting anything in return. I lose the need to always be acknowledged and loved and learn to love and serve those who may never be able to repay me.

Ultimately, it’s about my heart looking like God’s own heart. It’s about my heart beating with His heartbeat and feeling His feelings and loving those He loves with His own perfect love.

It’s a lifelong process that involves Him chiseling away at my hard heart while softening it at the same time.

That’s my prayer for you, too. That you would have God’s own heart beating within you to love the unloveable and reach out to the hopeless and helpless and show the world that no one is beyond the reach of God’s power to heal and change and transform.

I know, because I was one of those hopeless ones at one point. So were you.

Lost

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“Only love has saved me now

Turned my fear to holy ground

I was lost but now am found

Only love has saved me now”

I was lost.

I was the lost sheep that the Shepherd left the other 99 to go and find. I was the one who wandered away, who thought I knew better than the very Shepherd who had led me all the way to this point. Still, He came for me.

I was the lost coin that the woman turned the house upside down to find. In my own eyes, I wasn’t worth very much but in her eyes I was worth every bit of effort it took her to find me.

I was the younger son who ran away and blew my inheritance. I wanted out and to be on my own. I was the one who finally came to his senses and made my way shamefully back home, rehearsed speech in hand, only to have my own father that I denied and disowned come running up to me and throw his arms around me and love me more than ever.

I was the older son who stayed, but rebelled in his heart. I dutifully kept the rules and thought that entitled me to something. I was so caught up in doing the right thing that I missed grace when I saw it with my own eyes.

I am found.

I am learning what it means to be valued in God’s eyes. I am finding out what it means when He calls me Beloved and tells me I was worth every bit of what He paid to win me back.

I am learning to see other people the same way. Not as those who can meet my needs and make me feel validated, but those whom God has placed alongside me for me to bless and encourage and be Jesus to every step of the way.

I once was lost but now I’m found.

Amen.

5 Minutes

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I’ve been trying to lose weight and get in shape. Lately, that means putting in an hour on the elliptical. For me, that’s a lot.

Some mornings, I feel there’s no way I can last that long. So I try for the first 5 minutes. After that, I try for 10. And so forth. If I break an hour down into 5-minute segments, it’s not nearly so bad.

Life is like that.

Some days, you think there’s no way you can survive for the next 24-hours. You feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. Don’t try. Just take the next 5 minutes and breathe deeply and slowly and think to yourself, “I can survive the next 5 minutes.”

Sometimes, you are held captive by your fears telling you that you’ve really messed it up this time and that friend is gone for good. It’s tempting to try and fix what really isn’t broken (which never works, by the way). Or you take the next 5 minutes and are able to start seeing the cracks in the fabric of that lie.

You can do anything for 5 minutes. You can pray or be silent or wait. You can breathe slowly and deeply. You can remember one blessing God has given you and dwell on that.

When I’m stressed out and can’t sleep, 5 minutes of meditating on the goodness of God can make all the difference. It can take me from almost falling back into my old approval-addiction, “nobody likes me” trap to remembering that I am still blessed with family and friends who surprise me all the time in unexpected ways with grace at every turn.

So set your stopwatch or your phone for 5 minutes. It may be a small start, but sometimes all Jesus needs in your life is the smallest place to start. Then He can do amazing things in your life.

I am living proof of that.

 

The Kind of Friend I Want to Be

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I get it. I’m an idealist at heart. I have good motives (most of the time), but lousy execution (some of the time). On the way home from Movies in the Park, I got to thinking again what kind of friend I want to be. I apologize in advance if some or all of this is a repeat.

I want to be that friend who never gives up on you. I want to extend forgiveness and second chances to you as many times as God did for me. Which is quite a lot, I can tell you.

I want to be that friend who believes the best in you even when you can’t see it yourself. I’ve had those friends who did that for me. I have a God who does that better than anyone else.

I want you to be better because of me. I want to do everything in my power to help you become every part of who God made you to be. I want to see you realize all of God’s dreams for you. And believe me, His dreams for you are bigger and more amazing than anything you or I could come up with.

Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I do this out of my own need. These are all things I long for in my friends, so maybe the first step is me becoming all of those things to the people I call friends.

Obviously, the most healthy relationships are built out of wholeness and completeness, not neediness. But I do think we help each other to become whole and healthy and complete by friendships based on forgiveness and unconditional sacrificial love.

If I try too hard sometimes and get a bit Steve Urkel on you, I apologize. Like I said, my good motives are sometimes executed poorly. Sometimes, I get carried away with the posts and texts and messages. But it’s from a good place of wanting to encourage and bless you, so just remind me to take a pill and give me grace, ’cause I always stand in need of it.

I’m getting better. I am learning that you can’t fill my needs and validate me as a human being. Only God can do that. Once you learn that, you are free to be the kind of friend you always wanted.

As my friend and fellow blogger always says, “You think about that.”

Good Conversations

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I had a really good conversation with a good friend I’ve known for a while today. It was at Starbucks, so of course quality beverages were involved. In this case, it was two chai frappachinos with caramel on top. I highly recommend one if you ever get the chance.

It was one of those conversations that makes you a better person. It was one where I realized again just how blessed I am to have friends like this. I truly believe that I will look back 50 years from now and see that I am more like Jesus because of conversations like this one.

What will you remember about your conversations 50 years from now? Will you remember anything worthwhile that you said or heard? Will you be able to point to those times where you changed for the better because of the healing and encouragement and blessing spoken into your life?

I know I am who I am because of God speaking life into me through so many friends and family members. Not all the words were easy to hear, but every word carried the power of God to transform and renew me.

Thank you, friend, for blessing me every time I see you. It’s because of you and others like you that I am finally able to see myself and love myself the way God does and love others the same way.

May you be blessed a thousand times over for your words of comfort and kindness to me. May you never forget how fond your Abba is of you and always feel His smile of approval over you in everything you say and do.

The same goes for all of you reading this right now.

 

Transitions

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I’m in career transition. That’s the politically correct way of saying I’m out of a job. It sounds much better than saying that I got tossed out on my lazy rear.

It’s hard when part of your life that took up so much of your time is now gone. It’s difficult when that routine you’ve gotten so used to is suddenly thrown out on its ear and you feel like you’re in free-fall.

According to Ephesians, those who have come to put their faith in Christ are in a transition of sorts. A life transition.

You who were once without a hope in the world now have an eternal, imperishable Hope that will never fade or fail.

You who were once strangers and outcasts that nobody wanted are now adopted sons and daughters of the King of the Universe and heirs to Heaven.

You were once captives and slaves to your addictions and bad habits and fears are now free to finally and truly be yourselves.

You who felt worthless and without value now know that you are priceless in your Abba’s eyes and that not even the life of His own Son was too high a price to pay for you.

I know what it’s like to feel unwanted and unloveable. I know what it’s like to feel that you don’t matter to anybody and that nobody would miss you or even notice if one day you were gone.

I also know what it’s like to finally believe what Jesus says about me and to begin to live it out. To have people speak life and healing into me on a daily basis and be able to do the same in return.

The best part of the transition is that in God’s eyes, you are already there. You are already holy and perfect and blameless. He sees you as His masterpiece and loves you like you had never messed up to begin with.

Remember that it’s a process and sometimes you won’t feel like it’s working, but it is.

Remember that no matter what, you are still your Abba’s child and He is still very, very fond of you.

FEAR

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I heard something really awesome in a sermon I was listening to a few days ago. It was about fear.

I have lived a lot of my life controlled and dominated by fear. I played it safe and didn’t take risks because of fear.

But the preacher spelled out fear for me in a way that really helped me to understand it.

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

In other words, what I’m so very afraid of isn’t reality. Most of the anticipated futures that keep me up at night never come to pass. Most of the times when I fear I’ve messed up and blown another relationship, it turns out it was all in my head.

The Bible says that perfect Love casts out all fear. I am learning that slowly.

It’s hard to live out of love when you’re so used to living in fear, but it is so much more freeing. It’s how God meant for us to live.

Greater is He that is in me than what I’m afraid of. Greater is He who lives in me that what I’m facing.

Greater is He who calls me Beloved and knows my name than all of sin and hell and the world put together and thrown at me.

Because God is with me and for me and in me, I know that I have nothing to be afraid of anymore. That is freedom.

May you find the freedom of the Love of your Abba Father overcoming all your fears, so that you can step out boldly in faith into the future that God has for you right now.

Amen.

Speaking Life into Each Other

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Have you ever posted something on facebook with one specific person in mind, just hoping that person would read it and comment on it? I have. . . I mean, a friend of mine has. . . . ok, I’m so busted. That was me.

Maybe if you’ve done it, too, you were like me and felt crushed and ignored when said person didn’t comment or even like the post.

I realize now how co-dependent and passive-agressive that was (not to mention somewhat OCD). Looking back, I see just how silly and juvenile that was.

The thing with co-dependency is that you always need to be liked and affirmed and acknowledged. The sad part is no matter how people do, it will never be enough. It’s kinda like a drug, where you need more and more to feel normal.

What I need are friends who will tell me the truth in love.

As I have mentioned before, I am in the healing process. I am finally learning to like me. I can finally stand to look at myself in the mirror. I can finally like being around me.

It’s because I have people around me who speak life and healing and wisdom into me. I have people who see me the way God sees me and help me to see myself that way.

In a conversation with a friend at Starbucks, I had an interesting revelation. My friend said that Hebrews speaks of Jesus as putting a human face on God. Then I got to thinking afterward, maybe you and I put hands and feet to Jesus when we serve each other and those around us in need. When we speak the words of Jesus into each others’ lives.

I am a lot better at not wigging out when people don’t respond to my posts or texts. I get that people have lives and issues other than me and that I can’t realistically demand to be the center of everybody’s attention all the time. That’s not healthy.

But I know that I have God’s full attention 24/7 and that He is speaking to me all the time. Sometimes when I’m alone with my Bible open or sometimes when I’m in a one-on-one conversation with a friend or sometimes through random posts or texts or sightings around town.

I am coming to the point where it’s not about me, but helping people to find their YES in Jesus and come to know and believe about themselves what God says about them and sees in them. That’s my ministry and calling.

May you be as comfortable in silence and solitude as you are in a crowd and learn to love yourself as God does. It is so very freeing.

Footprints in My Heart

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I’ll give you a bit of insight into my blogging process. Often, I will have no idea what to write about until I hear a line from a movie or a song, or hear a sermon, or see or hear something random.

Many times, I still have no clue even as I begin the blog. I just start writing and the words come out and I am more amazed than anybody and what comes out. I bet that’s what some of the writers of the Bible felt like. And no, I don’t think my blog is anwhere close to being inspired on the same level as the Bible.

Tonight, it was a quote I read a while back and have posted on my facebook page more than once. It’s about people that come into your life and change you for the better. You are never the same after.

I know I have several sets of footprints in my own heart. Family members and friends have touched the deepest part of my heart and blessed me in ways that they will never even know.

People who have seen the worst in me and still believe the best of me. People who have seen my dorkier moments and have stuck around. People who have shown me Jesus time after time and have helped me be more like Him.

Even seemingly small things like getting invited to volleyball games and pizza have meant the world to me. And if you’re reading this, you know who you are and you should know that I am honored and privileged to call you friend,

I am who I am because of these people. I have found healing and freedom and release to be me because of the words spoken over me that I finally had the courage to receive and believe.

I know I’ve probably said this too many times, but I am grateful for all of you. I am blessed way more than I deserve and way more than I can begin to repay. The only way that I know to even try to pay it forward is to be the best me I can and try to be a blessing as much as I have been blessed.

May each of you know the joy of having footprints in your own hearts that you will carry with you until you die. And after.