love of God

It’s Wednesday . . . Again

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Sometimes, you gotta count the little blessings. So, here I am typing this out on my iPad 3 (which may no be the latest and greatest but works just fine for me).

I have one very sleepy cat in my lap who is consenting to being used as a makeshift iPad desk for the time being.

I woke up this morning. I wasn’t bedridden or comatose. I was able to get out and enjoy a lovely (almost) spring day.

I didn’t go hungry and I had a roof over my head. It’s all good.

Most of all, I have a God who still loves me, who still wants me around, who still roots for me, who still has my best at heart, and who will never give up on me or leave me or stop until He’s finished making me exactly who He meant for me to be.

I may not have everything I want but I have everything I need. I have enough.

I have joy because I choose it and because I choose to see through a different set of eyes. Eyes that see blessings and not lack. Eyes that look for the good and not at what’s wrong.

I think that makes this a good Wednesday. Don’t you?

Life Lessons from A Great Movie

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I finally watched a movie that I had known about for a long time and had always meant to see but never gotten around to. I even bought the movie from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart.

Tonight, I finally got around to it. The movie was What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

The movie is filled with memorable, eccentric characters. The story is anything but formulaic. There are no high-speed car chases or topless women or pyrotechnics or CGI spectacles. Just odd and endearing people living their lives the best way they know how.

One was mentally handicapped. One was morbidly obese. One was just unsure of himself and what he wanted to do with his life. But they loved each other.

I’m sure you have a few of these people in your life. People you wish were different. People who have flaws and bad habits and have done and said some really dumb things. People who can’t help the way they are. Maybe you’re one of them. Maybe you sometimes feel like you wish you could be anywhere else in the world except with these people.

You can still choose to love them. You can see them as they are, warts and all, and love them anyway. Remember that God saw you at your very worst and chose to keep loving you.

Love isn’t blind. Not in the least. Love sees the flaws and imperfections but chooses to seek and find the best in others and help draw it out in them. The way God has loved us all along.

I guess you can tell that I liked the movie, huh?

Authenticity

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I did one of those personality analysis tests and was not too surprised at the results. Basically, it turns out that I’m an idealist who wants to make a difference in the world around him. I pretty much knew that.

The test also said that I am drawn toward authenticity.

I think there are few who wouldn’t want some kind of authenticity in their lives, to be in a place where they can truly be themselves. Not only that, but a place where the people around them are just as genuine.

Ideally, the Church is just the place where that should happen.

Sadly, that’s the last place you find true authenticity these days.

These days, especially in the American Church, most believers feel they have to wear the “super spiritual, got it all together” mask and act as if their lives are perfect. Very few feel comfortable being open and honest about their struggles, addictions, and fears for fear of being judged and condemned.

That’s sad. That’s also not at all the Church Jesus had in mind when He prayed that they be united and one just as He and the Father are one. That’s not the Church portrayed in Acts as sharing possessions and helping out the less fortunate.

That’s not the kind that will draw the hurting and helpless, the kind Jesus told us to reach out to.

Pretending to be perfect is a damaging facade in two ways. First, it’s an impossible illusion to maintain because no one is perfect. Second, it creates the false image that to become a believer, you can’t have any issues or problems or sin-issues.

I think what people are looking for when they look to believers are people who make mistakes and fess up to those mistakes, who fail miserably and pick themselves up and move on, who have flaws and choose to see the good in themselves and others.

I’m praying that I can live with that kind of authenticity. I’m praying you will seek to be just as honest and real and transparent in your own lives as well.

Remember, God above all knows your deepest secrets, your utmost failures and flaws, and loves you just as you are. Not as you wish you could be or how you see yourself on your very best days but just exactly as you are when you’re feeling lowest.

That’s the kind of love I’m craving and the only kind of love that can change me into someone who can love others the same way.

 

American Idols

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I suspect that we’re all guilty of idolatry at some point. I wish I could remember the definition of idolatry I heard earlier today, but I didn’t take very good notes so I’ve forgotten most of it.

It had something to do with us valuing anything more than God, of seeking our identity and purpose in anything other than God.

In biblical times, idolatry often meant bowing down to little tin or bronze statues. But in our time, it is much more subtle. Sometimes it’s harder to detect because it looks like normal devotion.

I wonder how many parents idolize their children. Or how many children idolize their parents. Or maybe it’s men (and women, too, I suppose) who make idols out of their careers or their spouses.

I think anytime you say that your child is your world, you’ve created an idol out of him or her. The same goes for spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends.

You can even make religion into an idol if you get caught up in following rules and rituals for their own sake rather than because it pleases Jesus.

It can be wealth or the desire for wealth. It can be sex or the desire for sex. It can be a relationship or the overwhelming desire for one. Idols are tricky like that. It’s not about an object as much as the desire in your heart.

You can make idols out of genuinely good things, like your children, your marriage, your job, your bank account . . . just about anything and anyone can be an idol if you place it above God in your heart.

How do I know so much about idolatry? Because I’ve had more than my fair share of idols. I can always tell when a relationship has become idolatrous in my life because my peace of mind gets tied to my perception of how well that relationship is going.

It’s easy to point the finger at the Israelites in the Old Testament for their propensity for idolatry. Heck, they were barely out of Egypt before they were bowing down to golden calfs. But that tendency is just as much in me as it was in them. I suspect it’s in you, too.

I think we have idols because we haven’t fully grasped how good God is, how much He’s really for us, and how much He really does love us. Or maybe we’ve just forgotten like those old Israelites did back in the day.

The best way to combat idolatry is to remember. To go back and recall how it felt when you first grasped the love of God for you. Or as the Bible puts it, “to remember your first love.”

Random Factoids About Me

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As part of a new discipleship class I am taking at my church, I had to come up with three little known facts about myself. Side note: if you’ve never actually written yours down, I recommend it. It’s fascinating.

1) I have my Masters of Divinity, making me a seminary graduate and officially overeducated and underemployed. But I am proud of my accomplishment and don’t regret a single moment of it.

2) I can whistle and hum at the same time. Demonstrations are available upon request.

3) I am mostly right-handed, but I write left-handed and eat ambidextrously. I likes my food.

4) I am an Eagle Scout. I managed to earn this award one month before I turned 18, which is the age deadline. Yes, I am extremely proud of it.

5) I am owned by one elderly cat who likes to curl up in my lap and hang around me whenever I’m home. Ok, so that’s fairly common knowledge. My little known fact is that I like both cats AND dogs. Why should I have to pick one or the other?

6) I have never broken any bones in my body to this point. I thought I had broken my pinky when I got hit by a car in December 2012, but it was only dislocated.

7) I write a blog every day and have done so since July of 2010. Then again, if you’re reading this, you probably already knew that.

8) I am the beloved of my Abba and He is still very much fond of me after all these years. I haven’t even come close to fathoming how deep and wide and high and long that love is or why it should exist for me. I only know that it does. I also know that He loves you the same way all the time.

There are more that I am probably forgetting. I may come back later and add one or two more as they come to mind or as I am reminded by family members who read this.

Bye Bye Blockbuster

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I found out today that Blockbuster will close it’s remaining stores by January. I know I haven’t rented or bought anything from one of their stores in a REALLY long time, but it’s still sad. It truly is the end of an era.

You might be old enough to remember going to Blockbusters on a Friday or Saturday night. For me, it was usually not having a clue about what to rent. Or the movie that I wanted was a) all rented out b) not in yet or c) not available for rental anymore. Plan B involved taking a chance on a lesser known movie or hitting the 99 cent middle section for an older flick.

Sometimes, I picked a classic and found a new favorite film. Other times, I ended up with a dud that was unwatchable. But at least it was an adventure. And it got me out of the house on those really slow weekends.

I’m old enough to remember the “Please be kind– rewind” stickers on the old videocassettes. To this day, I have no idea what happened to that Home Alone video I rented back in the early 90’s. True story.

You could say that Netflix killed Blockbuster. Or you could choose Redbox as the culprit. The truth is that times change and things come and go– like video rental stores, VHS, and pay phones.

I’m glad the only things that doesn’t change are God and His love for me. Not even my own weaknesses and stupid choices will void God’s love for me. The Apostle Paul says in his letter to the Romans says nothing in all the world can separate me from God’s love or cause that love to lessen or diminish in any way. Nothing.

Not even unpaid late fees on a Blockbuster rental.

Psalm 139:1-18: How He Loves

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“O Eternal One, You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am;
You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again.
Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking.
You observe my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming,
and You know everything I do in more detail than even I know.
You know what I’m going to say long before I say it.
It is true, Eternal One, that You know everything and everyone.
You have surrounded me on every side, behind me and before me,
and You have placed Your hand gently on my shoulder.
It is the most amazing feeling to know how deeply You know me, inside and out;
the realization of it is so great that I cannot comprehend it.

Can I go anywhere apart from Your Spirit?
Is there anywhere I can go to escape Your watchful presence?

If I go up into heaven, You are there.
If I make my bed in the realm of the dead, You are there.
If I ride on the wings of morning,
if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,
Even then You will be there to guide me;
Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there.
Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me,
the light around me will soon be turned to night,”
You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes.
For You the night is just as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.

For You shaped me, inside and out.
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath.
I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe.
You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;
Your works are wonderful;
I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

As I took shape in secret,
carefully crafted in the heart of the earth before I was born from its womb.
You see all things;
You saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb;
Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;
You established the length of my life before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.
Your thoughts and plans are treasures to me, O God! I cherish each and every one of them!
How grand in scope! How many in number!
If I could count each one of them, they would be more than all the grains of sand on earth. Their number is inconceivable!
Even when I wake up, I am still near to You” (Psalm 139:1-18, THE VOICE).

Is God Fluffy? Questions I’ve Never Thought About Until Now

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I sat in on a very interesting conversation with some friends and a man who’s name I have unfortunately forgotten. It was surreal and made my brain hurt a bit.

The guy said that God called him on a quest. Immediately, I thought something along the lines of “They should make pills for this.” The cheese had obviously slid off of this guy’s cracker.

He said that sometimes He calls God “Master Fluffy.” That one had me scratching me head. Master Fluffy? Really?

I’m just being honest. Keeping it real, as the kids nowadays put it.

Then again, I remembered some things.

Aren’t I taking meds, too? How would I think and behave if I’d been through west this guy has been through (or even half). My cheese might be completely AWOL from my cracker.

And doesn’t God speak of protecting us underneath His wings? Doesn’t He know when the lowliest sparrow falls from the sky? Doesn’t He delight in all His children, including the ones with broken minds and broken hearts?

Most of all, didn’t God put on human skin and come to pitch His tent among us? To laugh and weep with us? To experience every bit of what we face, except without sin?

I can’t help feeling sometimes that the most “normal” of us don’t get God half as much as the ones who don’t always act and speak normally. The ones who need pills to make their minds work right. The ones who felt ugly and stupid and fat and unloveable until they understood how large a space God has reserved in His heart just for them?

To get into God’s Kingdom, you have to be like a little child. I know it means you have to come acknowledging that you are helpless without God.

I like to think it also means you need to see the world through the eyes of a child, with eyes that cling to dreams, look for fairies and pixie dust, find miracles around every corner, and never give up hoping that joy will win in the end.

Celebrate not that you are normal, but that you are unique. Celebrate that there is and will never again be anything in the world quite like you. Find joy in being “heaven’s poetry etched in lives” (Ephesians 2:10).

Then you will start out discovering Eucharisteo, finding joy and thanksgiving and grace in everything, and living your miracle.

Take it from one unique and blessed Ragamuffin.

The Winning Side

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“So what should we say about all of this? If God is on our side, then tell me: whom should we fear? If He did not spare His own Son, but handed Him over on our account, then don’t you think that He will graciously give us all things with Him? Can anyone be so bold as to level a charge against God’s chosen? Especially since God’s “not guilty” verdict is already declared. Who has the authority to condemn? Jesus the Anointed who died, but more importantly, conquered death when He was raised to sit at the right hand of God where He pleads on our behalf. So who can separate us? What can come between us and the love of God’s Anointed? Can troubles, hardships, persecution, hunger, poverty, danger, or even death? The answer is, absolutely nothing. As the psalm says, On Your behalf, our lives are endangered constantly; we are like sheep awaiting slaughter. But no matter what comes, we will always taste victory through Him who loved us. For I have every confidence that nothing—not death, life, heavenly messengers, dark spirits, the present, the future, spiritual powers, height, depth, nor any created thing—can come between us and the love of God revealed in the Anointed, Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:31-39, The Voice)

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I love how Pastor Mike described salvation this morning. He said it was like when you played at recess. The team captain, who also happened to be the best player, picked you. Suddenly, you went from a nobody to being on the winning team, because this guy’s (or gal’s) teams always won.

Jesus picked you. Don’t ever miss that. He intentionally chose you because He wanted you on His team, not because you were the only one left and somebody had to take you.

Jesus set His heart on you from day one. Actually, before then. He chose you before you were born, before your parents were born, before any of creation. He saw you at your darkest moment and said, “This one’s mine.”

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If He loved you like that at your very worst, what makes you think He won’t love you just as much or more now? If God is for you, does it really matter who or what comes up against you? Can anything ever really for a moment come between you and Jesus’s love for you?

One word: nope.

Nothing gets in the way of Jesus loving you. Not your past, not your bad habits, not your fears, not your failures, not your abandonment, not your anxiety, and not even you.

A movie or sporting event becomes way less stressful once you know the outcome. If you know in advance your team won, then you don’t get overly worked up when your team fumbles or misses a shot or strikes out. You can handle the main character in a movie getting in trouble if you know he ends up alright in the end.

Have you read the last page of the Bible? Guess what? Your side wins. Overwhelming victory is yours through Christ. You don’t fight for victory but FROM it. That’s a huge relief (at least for me it is).

That’s some very good news.

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Saturday Night’s Alright for Slacking

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I did nothing tonight. Hard as it is to believe, I spent this Saturday evening in front of the idiot box with a very sleepy cat/therapist named Lucy. This jetsetter, this man about town, actually had a quiet night.

And the world didn’t come to a screeching halt.

Do you ever wonder that people forget about you the moment you leave the room? That when it comes to priorities, you’re not high up on anybody’s list? That ultimately you don’t truly matter to anyone?

Sure, I’ve felt that way some nights. But I know this.

There is never a moment that goes by where I’m not in God’s sight, on His mind, and engraved on His hands and on His heart. He loves me completely, unconditionally, unwaveringly, every second of every day of eternity.

God loves you the same way. God loves each person as if they were the only person who had ever lived and could receive the fullness of Love itself.

That kind of love meets you where you are but does not leave you that way. It can’t help but transform the beloved into the image of the Lover. You become most like what you love most. Always.

I can’t say that staying home was my first choice. Or even on my list of top twenty choices.

But here I am, thankful even on a slow Saturday night that I have everything I need in the world right here. Finding the joy on nights like this really does transform how you see the rest of your life. Giving thanks for the small things makes room to receive the greater things.

I think I’ll sign off in a bit here and go do some actual reading of an actual book, with actual pages that turn and everything. How novel.

May you know in full (or as fully as a finite human can comprehend the infinite) how much your Abba really does love you at every moment, whether you feel it or not.

That’s all for now.