loss

Mountains of Spices

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“In acceptance lieth peace,
O my heart be still;
Let thy restless worries cease
And accept His will.
Though this test be not thy choice,
It is His—therefore rejoice.

In His plan there cannot be
Aught to make thee sad:
If this is His choice for thee,
Take it and be glad.
Make from it some lovely thing
To the glory of thy King.

Cease from sighs and murmuring,
Sing His loving grace,
This thing means thy furthering
To a wealthy place.
From thy fears He’ll give release,
In acceptance lieth peace” (Hannah Hurnard, Mountains of Spices).

For the unfamiliar, Hannah Hurnard was a missionary to what is now the state of Israel. She also did a bit of writing, including two allegorical novels that reference the Song of Solomon as well as the fruit of the Spirit and other biblical references. They’re both great.

In the first one, Hinds’ Feet on High Places, the story is the journey of Much Afraid and her journey to the Kingdom of Love in the High Places. The second is how she went back to try to reach some of her relatives with the same love she had received.

One phrase I took with me was acceptance with joy. That’s the key. To accept the good and the bad, not begrudgingly but with joy, is the secret to peace in the midst of turmoil. That does NOT mean that we celebrate tragedy or calamity but that we see God working even the worst into something good. We know that God uses pain and suffering as the means to make us more like the Good Shepherd and give us compassion for others who are hurting so that they can know the same love we have found.

There’s a kind of wisdom that only comes from trials and tempests. The wisest people are often the ones who have seen the most loss and grief and pain, yet have chosen joy and acceptance over bitterness and cynicism. These people are the ones who can save you from a lot of heartache if you will only listen to their hard-won advice.

Lord, make us Your servants who share the name Acceptance with Joy. Help us to see the joy that lies beyond the sorrow and the hope that lies beyond grief. Help us keep our eyes fixed firmly on You, the only author and perfecter of our faith. Amen.

The Purpose of Prayer

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“Every time we pray our horizon is altered, our attitude to things is altered, not sometimes but every time, and the amazing thing is that we don’t pray more” (Oswald Chambers, in The Place of Help).

Oswald Chambers also said something else that I’ve thought a lot about over the years. He said that prayer doesn’t so much change the things around me as it changes me and I change things. I think maybe I’d say that when I pray for God to change my circumstances, what I really want is a shortcut out of the difficult season. God wants me to endure the season so that I am changed by it.

It’s like the old story of the cocoon and the butterfly. If you “help” the caterpillar out of the cocoon rather than watch it struggle, you deprive it of the strength it needs to fly. When we pray for God to take us or those we love over an obstacle rather than through it, we are robbing ourselves of sweetness of learning to know God deeper through the struggle and coming out of it more like Jesus.

I don’t think my problem is not praying enough as much as it is praying the wrong way. I still pray to God like I used to write to Santa Claus back in the day. I have my list of what I want, and when the list is over, I’m done. But prayer really is so much more than getting from God as it is getting to know God. And getting to know myself in the process.

“Prayer is not getting things from God. That is a most initial stage; prayer is getting into perfect communion with God: I tell Him what I know He knows in order that I may get to know it as He does”(Oswald Chambers, Prayer: A Holy Occupation).

Grieving a Furry Friend

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“I will never laugh at anyone for grieving over a loved beast. I think God wants us to love Him more, not to love creatures (even animals) less. We love everything in one way too much (i.e., at the expense of our love for Him), but in another way we love everything too little.

No person, animal, flower, or even pebble has ever been loved too much—i.e., more than every one of God’s works deserves” (C. S. Lewis, The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III).

Over the years, we’ve lost a number of pets. It never gets easy. Even when they get to be old and full of years, you think that final goodbye will be easier, but it never is. It’s like they take a piece of us with them when they go.

I remember when Lucy passed, I grieved more over her than over some people I had lost. I don’t think it was because I loved her more than I loved them but because she was always nearby, an immediate presence. I would never make fun of anyone who grieves over losing a dog or a cat (or any other kind of beloved critter).

There are many different ways to cope with the loss. One that I’ve found is to go to a shelter and find an animal who needs to be loved. I’ve heard grief expressed as love with nowhere to go. If you rescue an animal, you have an outlet for that love. It’s not that you love your previous pet any less, but you can continue that love with a new pet.

I like to think our pets will be in heaven. The Bible says that all of creation longs for the day when it will be restored. Maybe that includes all those critters we’ve loved and lost. I like to think so. I like to think that Murphy, Reggie, Gracie, Sammie, Paddy, Oliver, Dixie, Lucy, Linus, and Molly will all be there when I finally get there (plus a few more that I’ve forgotten).

All animals are God’s creations, and to love them well is to honor God well. I only wished that they could live a little longer, but I am grateful for each and every one of them.

Live Gladly

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“The greatest honor we can give Almighty God is to live gladly because of the knowledge of his love”(Julian of Norwich).

I think one of the biggest turnoffs to faith is people who profess Christ but spend most of their days with sour faces and unpleasant dispositions. If you truly have been made alive by the grace of God, shouldn’t you be filled with joy?

I get that people have bad days, but even on the bad days there is good. Even the worst days have a little bit of good in them. I don’t think people should fake being happy when their lives are falling apart, but I think that people who know the peace of Jesus should live like it and live like it matters because it does.

I knew a man once who was a former pastor and a greeter at a church event I attended weekly. I found out that he was dying from cancer, but every time I asked him how he was doing, he would say he was fine. He never complained or whined. He showed up as long as he was able and served with a smile because he knew that cancer would not have the last word.

Looking back, I feel a bit ashamed because I know I probably complained about my life to a man who was in a battle way worse than anything I’ve ever faced. Still, he was gracious to me. He showed me Jesus in the midst of his own pain and suffering.

My prayer is that I can be like that. I hope I can exude joy so that people around me who don’t know Jesus will want to know where that joy comes from. That’s actually my prayer for all of us. May we be living billboards of grace whose lives preach just as good of a sermon as any words we could ever use. May our words and deeds (not one or the other but both) tell of a good God and a gracious Savior who can save anybody at any time.

A Wedding and a Feast

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I confess that I haven’t always loved the idea of heaven. Back in the day, I somehow got the idea that heaven was an eternity-long church service. Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, but back in the day, church meant singing lots of hymns with words like “thou” and “thee” and “verily.” It also meant a lot of standing up and sitting down and listening to a preacher who yelled a lot. And also it meant wearing stiff uncomfortable clothes including dress shoes, a suit, and a clip-on tie. I may have ben stylin’ but I sure wasn’t lovin’ it.

I love the idea that heaven is a wedding. I’ve been to a few weddings, and the best ones were always a kind of celebration that left me feeling joyous. I still wore churchy clothes, but at least I was having a good time.

And I can definitely relate to a feast. As a self-diagnosed foodie, I love going to any kind of a celebration or party where there is food. Any time there was a church potluck or a family reunion, my favorite part (besides seeing the people, of course) was the food. Especially when it was the good kind with eight different varieties of fried chicken and enough casseroles to feed Custer’s army.

What made me fall in love with the idea of heaven was reading C. S. Lewis’ The Last Battle. Lewis describes heaven as waking up on the first day of summer after the school term has ended or the first day of vacation has begun. It’s that feeling of freedom and joy multiplied by infinity and stretched across eternity.

While I want to see my grandparents and all the other people that I loved and lost, the absolute best part will be seeing Jesus there. It will be the place where my faith finally becomes sight, where the best of my dreams finally come true.

More and more, I’m ready to go. The more I see of this world and the chaos and insanity in it, the more I long for the next. I long for the people I love to be there. All of them. That’s why I’m telling you again that the best decision you will ever make is to repent of your sins and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You will never regret it.

Still Rolls the Stone

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As you know, I am currently collecting old CCM vinyl. One of my favorite parts is discovering artists that I missed back in the day because they weren’t my style of music at the time. One of those is Bob Bennett, a singer-songwriter in the vein of James Taylor and Dan Fogelberg.

One of his songs that resonated deeply with me is the song Still Rolls the Stone, which speaks to Easter but also speaks to God’s ability to make any dead thing come alive and to turn those of us who were dead in our trespasses and sins into living sons and daughters of God.

Basically, the gist of the song is that because of an empty tomb on a Sunday morning, we can trust God to keep His promises and to finish what He started in each of us:

“Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone from the grave

I tore off my grave clothes
And cried a pool of tears
For the voice of the Living One
Who spoke the stars and spheres
Has called me from my darkness
And led me to this place
Where the dead leap
And the blind see His face

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone from the grave

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone from the grave

Hearts aflame with mercy
Like the sun in midnight sky
While the doubter shrugs his shoulders
And the cynic wonders why
But as it is in Heaven
So now we proclaim
The Lord tells us here to do the same

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
(Rolls the stone away)
Still rolls the stone from the grave, oh…

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
(Rolls the stone away)
Still rolls the stone from the grave

In the still of a Sunday morning
A grave stands open wide
And a promise kept
While the world slept
Means that no one is inside

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone from the grave, oh…

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
(Rolls the stone away)
Still rolls the stone from the grave

Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone
Still rolls the stone from the grave” (Bob Bennett)

Those Two Little Words

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If I were to quote a passage, do you think you’d catch it if I left something out? Like this:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your considerate spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:4-7, Legacy Standard Bible).

Did you notice anything missing? Now let me quote the verse with the missing part put back in:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your considerate spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:4-7, Legacy Standard Bible, emphasis added.

I added the bold to make it obvious. Two little words “with thanksgiving” were missing from the first quotation. But that’s what is missing in a lot of our prayers and petitions. At least I can speak for myself and say that I go through a lot of requests in my prayers without ever giving thanks. But I think that’s the key.

I’m not saying that a few magical phrases will automatically make God grant you everything you ask for. But I wonder if sometimes if the gratitude part is what keeps us from seeing God at work in our petitions. Maybe the giving thanks part is like praying in faith believing you have already received what you ask for.

The answer may not always look like what you expect. But you can be sure that God honors His promises to give us what we ask when in faith with thanksgiving.

And note that it does not say that we’re ever to give thanks FOR everything but IN everything. We shouldn’t be thankful for cancer or car wrecks or wildfires. But we can give thanks in the midst of those things because God is working even in those cases for good. Out of those ashes will come something beautiful.

But let us be thankful people, regardless. Even if God did nothing else for us from here until eternity, we’d still have a million reasons for gratitude and thanksgiving. We could still give thanks if for nothing else than salvation and the next breath.

So let’s not leave those two little words out next time. Or, maybe I shouldn’t leave out those two little words next time.

All I Needed to Say

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I know several people who are dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one. It’s never easy, especially with the recent end of the Christmas season that makes loss even more difficult to bear. I found a post with the lyrics from a Michael W. Smith song from his second album. Let these words sink in and express your own grief and loss:

“Sad goodbye
Never quite got said
Now the time is gone
We’re moving on
Even though it hurts so bad

If I could
I’d turn back the days
And I’d love again
To be your friend
In a hundred different ways
But we can’t turn back the time
The days

So if I never said, all I needed to say
I’ll say it now
You know I loved you once
I love you stronger today
Please love, find me a way
Words, I still need to say
But I don’t know how

Can’t stand still
Still I can’t move on
Lord, I need your strength
Need you and me
‘Cause a part of me is gone

In time, I will know
What I’ve yet to see
That through all the pain
You hurt the same
And you’re standing here with me
More than anything it’s you
I need

So if I never said, all I needed to say
I’ll say it now
You know I loved you once
I love you stronger today
Please love find me a way
Words, I still need to say
Please show me how

Words, I still need to say

So if I never said, all I needed to say
I’ll say it now
You know I loved you once
I love you stronger today
Please love find me a way
But I don’t know how
Please love find me a way
Please show me how” (Amy Grant / Michael W. Smith).

Christmas with the King

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I ran across a Christmas poem that resonated with me deeply. This year, I have known people who have lost loved ones. I was blessed to be a part of a crew of deacons that went caroling Sunday at the homes of a couple of our widows.

This poem speaks to the Christmas experience of those who are no longer here with us. I think they’re probably having their best Christmas season ever. And the good news is that for them it never ends.

“Martha Bennett sent us this encouraging poem in a Christmas Card. Thanks Martha, Thanks for your encouragement.

I’m spending Christmas with Jesus this Year

I see the countless Christmas trees
Around the world below
With tiny lights like heavens stars
Reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I’m am spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear.
But the sound of music can’t compare,
With the Christmas Choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description,
To hear an angel sing.

I can’t tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior face to face?

Please let your hearts be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I am spending Christmas in heaven,
And walking with the King!”

As Billy Graham said that when you hear he had died, it was not true. He had simply changed his address. That’s true for all those we love who aren’t here this year. They’ve simply changed their address, and their faith has been made sight.

Never the Same

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“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

You can say the same for the heart. There are certain experiences in life that stretch your heart, like marriage, having a child, death, or a loved one moving away. Once your heart is stretched, it can never go back to what it used to be.

I can honestly say that I have known people in my life that have left imprints in my mind and in my heart. Some are no longer living. Some have moved on to different places or different phases of their lives. I may never see these people again this side of heaven, but I know that I am different and better because of them.

You never know sometimes when it’s the last time you’ll ever see someone. You think there will be more time, more experiences like this one. Sometimes, you get closure and a chance to process the grief of a goodbye, even if it’s not the grieving of death. Other times, you don’t.

One option is to be bitter and to focus on what was that will never be again. Or you could be thankful for what was because it made you who you are now. God never promised that every single person in your life would be there indefinitely. Some are only meant for a season. Some are to teach you a lesson. Some are like angels used by God to minister to you in a particularly difficult passage.

The best way to pay it forward is to be that kind of person to someone else. Just as someone was once God with skin on to you, so you can do your best to be that to someone else. You can’t be Jesus, but you can be the physical manifestation of God ministering to that person as His hands and feet, His voice.

Some of you might be reading these words right now. To you I say, “Thank you. I am more like Jesus because of you.”