That Longing Inside

till we have faces

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back” (C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces).

It’s that longing. If you watch TV at all, you are led to believe that you can fill that longing with a new car or a new kitchen appliance. Or maybe if you drink the right beer or wear the right kind of sweaters. Just about anything and everything from fast food to cologne to mattresses will satisfy that deepest of longings inside of us, or so we’re told.

I think all of us have deep longings that nothing we do or buy or acquire can ever truly satisfy. For most of us, we’re unable to even name what that longing is or even pinpoint what it is that we truly desire.

That C. S. Lewis guy also said that if we have longings that nothing in this world can satisfy, then it means that we were created for another world. I think he was on to something.

I personally find myself longing more and more for a world I’ve never seen before, but one that I have dreamed about. I imagine it will look a whole lot like Mr. Lewis’ Narnia, especially the one described in toward the end of his book, The Last Battle.

“Death opens a door out of a little, dark room (that’s all the life we have known before it) into a great, real place where the true sun shines and we shall meet” (C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces).

 

 

Conflicted But in a Good Way . . .

I’m feeling a bit conflicted at the moment, but in the best way possible. Right now, you’re probably feeling confused, so let me explain.

I’m very sad that a friend of mine is leaving for overseas missions tomorrow and I won’t get to see her for a while, but I’m filled with joy that she is fulfilling God’s call on her life and going to a place where her deep gladness will meet the world’s deep need and lives will be transformed and changed and a country will never be the same because of her (and I “borrowed” part of that from Frederick Buechner, for the record).

I’m unsure of my next step, but confident that the God I serve is more than able to get me there. Since I lost my job, I’ve felt as if I’m free-floating without an anchor to hold on to or to keep me centered, yet I’ve never had more peace that God really is in control and guiding me toward exactly where He wants me to be.

I’ve never been in a place where I’m more keenly aware of my deep need for God at every waking moment, but I’ve never been more sure of God’s goodness or power. I’ve never been as able and willing to boast in my weaknesses to find that the power of Christ really is made perfect in my imperfections.

Ultimately, I am filled with a longing that nothing in this world can satisfy, yet at the very same time,  I am completely satisfied in Christ and content with where He has me.

What about you?