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Those Times

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I’ve been living my miracle. I’ve been counting my blessings and finding joy in the everyday minutiae of life. But sometimes . . . .

You know the feeling. It happens when you’re tired or hungry or by yourself– or all three. 

You feel like your friends will all eventually abandon you. Little things, like someone not responding to a text or someone else who usually liked and commented on your posts not having done so for a few days, seem like proof that you’re not really wanted or desired.

You find it’s much easier to wallow in that old mire of self-pity and entitlement than to fight for the joy and to consciously bring to mind the blessings. Sometimes it does feel good (but not in a good way) to feel sorry for yourself and believe that no one truly understands or cares about you. Lies are sometimes easier to believe and more comforting than the truth. Well, most of the time.

It’s at those times when you want to lean on what you’re feeling as a gauge for how you’re doing. It’s times when you want to use your understanding as a crutch for figuring out your life at that particular moment.

But just remember this familiar verse:

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“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding [or feelings]. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6. Amplified)

I added that part about feelings, in case you wondered. But it’s implied in the Hebrew. 

Trust God, not in how you feel or what you think. Those things (thoughts and feelings) aren’t always trustworthy. But God is.

And I know from experience your friends aren’t nearly as ready to abandon you as you think they are. Sometimes, they just get caught up in life, their own pain, crazy work or school, etc. They haven’t forgotten or left you.

Remember even if one or two has left you, God never will. He’s promised with an oath as sure as Himself to be with you, no matter what, not only up to the end, but beyond.

That should help you get past those times.

 

The Wild, Wacky, (Sometimes) Wonderful World of Facebook

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

facebook-funny

I’m sure I’ve posted about this topic before, but I forgot what I said, so this may or may not be a repeat.

I’m a fan of facebook. I mean, where else can you see updates of what your friends are doing and where they’re hanging out. You even get to see pictures of their kids, their grandkids, their pets, their cars, their houses, what they ate for breakfast, etc.

Yet, I also know that facebook can be a very lonely place. Kinda like the proverbial “being alone in a crowd.”

If you’re looking to facebook for affirmation, you’re bound to be mightily disappointed. Who hasn’t posted a status update and almost heard the crickets chirping? Who hasn’t poured their heart out and gotten no response? It’s easy to feel ignored on facebook.

Possibly you’ve had a friend or two that seemed to be the ones who consistently commented on and liked your posts, but have seemingly gone silent on you, making you wonder if you’ve done something to offend them.

As I’ve learned, lots of people might read your posts without commenting or even liking. That won’t show up in the oh-so-important little part at the top that tells you how many friend requests, messages, and notifications you have. And when someone doesn’t comment on or like your posts, it just means they’ve got lives to live and their own mess to deal with. That’s all.

On a side note, if you’re looking to people for affirmation, whatever they give you will never be enough. You might think that you’d be fine if people would only just “like” your posts. But when that happens, the next natural step is wishing that people would make comments on those posts. It’s never enough, whether on facebook or twitter or in real life.

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I personally have had to step back and take a break from facebook when I found myself upset that a friend of mine responded to everyone else’s comments on their post but mine. Yeah, it got that crazy. And yes, they do make pills for that.

My facebook philosophy is this: I gotta be real, honest, transparent, and me. It may not be popular (’cause I know deep down that I’m not very popular– it takes special people to appreciate my brand of weirdness). I also make an effort to be encouraging and positive and stay away from political stuff (who has ever changed their politics due to something they read on facebook, anyway?)

I will sometimes go through and comment on my friends’ status updates and “like” what they post because I know that sometimes you need visual affirmation that someone out there knows where you are and what you’re going through. But that’s just me. I don’t expect that from anybody else anymore.

So have fun posting pictures of your dog in tuxedo and of the pasta you ate last night. But keep it in perspective. The only true affirmation you need comes from God, and he’s already given it to you. He loves and accepts you just as you are and not as you should be.

It’s Time To Play “Name That Fear”

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I have an image in my mind of that old TV game show where the contestants were constantly yelling, “Big bucks! Big bucks! No whammies!”

It’s time for me to name one of my fears, that big ol’ ugly whammy that has always gotten to me– the fear of abandonment.

I’m putting this out there so that 1) it will lose its power over me and 2) so that you can be brave enough to name your own fear and diminish its power over you. So here goes.

My fear is the fear of abandonment. I’m afraid that you will get to know me and then decide that I’m not worth the effort, that I’m really too messed up for you to deal with, and you will go away.

I go through long stretches where I am good and that fear isn’t a problem. But then someone won’t respond to a text or will stop commenting on and liking my facebook posts and that old fear creeps up. That voice says, “See? They’ve given up on you” or “They’re gradually pulling away from you and pretty soon won’t have anything to do with you.”

Or maybe I’m at a social event and a friend isn’t as friendly as usual and I wonder if I’ve done or said something to offend them. I fantasize in my mind how they’re really angry with me and are just waiting for the right moment to tell me where I can go and what I can do with myself (putting it nicely). I’ve actually played out those scenarios to the point where I’ve thought a friendship was over when it wasn’t even close to being over.

Sometimes you can recognize a lie and believe it anyway because it’s familiar. It’s all you’ve known and lived with your whole life. But when you name it and where it came from, it loses its power over you.

So, I name that fear of abandonment from the pit of hell and I claim the blood of Jesus over it right now. I receive my status as the beloved of God, chosen by Jesus.

Now if I could just hit some of those big bucks. . .