life

My So-Called Blog

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mscl“People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is even. But every so often I’ll have, like, a moment, where just being myself in my life right where I am is, like, enough” (from My So-Called Life).

Yeah, I just probably violated some copyright law with that title, which could either refer to the early 90’s short-lived TV series My So-Called Life or the local band My-So Called Band, who more or less borrowed their name from the show, so I think I’m good.

I’ll be honest. I missed that show when it was actually on the air. I think I caught a glimpse of part of an episode when it was in eternal re-runs on MTV. I was probably too upset that MTV had gotten away from actual music videos to be able to truly appreciate what I was watching. I also seem to recall that my crush on Claire Danes started with seeing that fraction of an episode all those years ago (just keepin’ it real, folks).

Well, here I am, 18 years after the show ended and way too old for the demographic and in serious danger of losing my man card for saying this, but I really like this show. It captures a time, but it doesn’t feel dated.

The styles may be from the Nirvana-era early 90’s, but the themes are universal. The characters feel as real as any of the people I went to high school with. The issues they deal with are issues I dealt with, for the most part. I can actually remember specifically what I felt when I see a character going through what I went through.

I’ve been trying to find one particular quote that really struck me from watching the first three episodes. I just now found it and I’m having that satisfied feeling of “I’m glad I found it” mixed with the relief of “I’m glad it really exists and I didn’t just make it up in my head.”

“What’s amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Like your life just figured out how to get good. Like, that second.”

I realize there is an overabundance of the word “like” in that statement. I also realize that I tend to get annoyed when people overuse the word “like.” Like I just did. Right this second.

All I’m saying is that it’s funny how God uses the unlikeliest things to teach you about life. Like TV shows and songs on the radio and offhand comments from friends. Yeah, that pretty much sums it all up for me.

True Faith

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Well, my team lost again. I was rooting for the San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl and they got oh-so-very-close, but still lost. Thus continues my streak of rooting for the losing team. But I’ll keep rooting for my teams, even if they keep losing.

Some will tell you that faith means that if you believe hard enough, everything will go your way and you will always get what you want and all your dreams will come true. I think that’s partially true. Sometimes, you believe and you receive what you want. But not always.

I think true faith is shown when you see no sign of your prayer getting answered, but you still keep believing the impossible. Your faith deepens and grows when you don’t get what you asked for and when the silence of heaven seems to be your only answer.

I’ve said it a lot lately, but I believe it more than ever before– God is the absolute best at making the impossible possible. He’s the only one who can speak life out of nothing, who can bring a whole universe into being by speaking it.

A church were I attended for a few months has a saying, “Everyone’s welcome. Nobody’s perfect. Anything’s possible.” As of right now, I officially made that my motto. I think it serves as a good model for Christianity.

Jesus will never turn away anyone who comes to him in faith. Nobody gets it right all the time and every one of us has royally screwed up at least once. And no matter how bad your situation is or how far away your dreams seem, it’s never too late and you’re never too far gone to see God show up, for with him all things are possible.

So you’ll probably hear me wailing and gnashing my teeth again after next year’s Super Bowl. But I’m not giving up hope that my team will win one day. And I’m especially not giving up hope on my God. He’s all I really have, anyway.

A Christmas Prayer

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Lord, the time approaches yet again when we celebrate your arrival in human skin to make your home among us as one of us. We celebrate that you became Immanuel, “God with us,” and took your place among us, sharing our joys and sorrows, weaknesses and pains.

We confess that we have so often lost sight of why we celebrate this day. We have made it into the giving and receiving of gifts and of excessive shopping and spending. We have forgotten that at the heart of Christmas, it is your birthday.

Help us also to remember those for whom Christmas isn’t such a happy time. So many mourn the loss of loved ones and live in the midst of family strife and turmoil. So many are facing tough days ahead as many are without jobs, some without homes and even the basic necessities.

Help us to walk along side those who are hurting in this Christmas season. May they find you, O God, to be their burden bearer, their refuge, their safe dwelling, and their peace in the midst of storms. Comfort them, bring healing to their strife, and be in the midst of them as the Prince of Peace.

Help us to remember those less fortunate than we and to be generous to those around us who have needs, both physical and spiritual. May we serve you by serving one of the least of these.

May we remember Christmas every day by being living incarnations of your presence everywhere we go, for you are not only God with us, but you are God in us, too. May we never forget that what started out in a manger ended on a cross, and that we are alive and free because of that terrible price you paid.

So as we get into the days of celebration and merriment, help us to remember that you are the reason for it all. May the best gift we give anyone be to show them your love and point them to you this holiday season.

My Disclaimer

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Just in case you thought I had it all figured out, this is my disclaimer: I don’t.

Sometimes, I have no clue what’s going on. Sometimes it really feels like everybody else on the planet has got their act together and I am wondering where I left my cell phone when it was just in my hand a second ago.

I know what Tom Hank’s character in the movie Big feels like. I know what it feels like to be a kid in a grown-up’s body. Sometimes I ask myself questions like “When did I get grown-up? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was a kid?” and “Haven’t they figured out by now that I’m faking this whole adult thing?”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad to be an adult. It means I survived with the vast majority of my mental facilities. That’s a good thing.

But no, I don’t have my 20-year life plan mapped out and diagrammed just yet. I’m not too sure what I’ll be doing tomorrow. Surprises are much more fun, don’t you think?

I do know that while I don’t have a clue sometimes, God always knows what’s up.

I still believe that he who began a good work in me will complete it. I still believe that he works all things together for good. I still believe that he knows the plans he has for me.

So if you feel like you haven’t quite figured out this whole “being an adult” thing, remember that you’re not the only one. I haven’t, and I’m sure there are plenty of others who haven’t, but just aren’t brave enough to admit it.

I find myself leaning on the sovereignty of God a lot more these days and trusting him a lot more. These days, it’s not about trusting him with my whole life. It’s more about trusting him for the next five minutes.

I think that’s a good place to be.

 

Metro Memphis Memories

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This morning as I was getting dressed, I pulled out an old t-shirt I hadn’t worn in a while. It was my Metro Memphis greeter shirt that I wore as a part of that undenominational Bible study in Germantown, Tennessee. It’s been at least 6 years, but the memories of those days are still fresh in my mind.

It’s funny how random little things can trigger memories of people you haven’t thought about in a long time or places you haven’t been to in years. Maybe it’s a t-shirt or a bracelet. Maybe it’s something that used to belong to someone else, like my grandfather’s old tube radio.

As I wear this shirt, I am reminded of some good times and good friendships I had during those years. It’s highly doubtful that I will ever see any of those people again, but I’m glad to have known them and have them in my life.

I’m also reminded that life really is fleeting and transitory. A truer word was never spoken than when someone once said that the only constant you can expect in life is that change will come.

Of course, God is the same always. But so often people come and go, places change, and it seems that you’re standing in one spot while the rest of the world is rushing around you. At least I feel that way sometimes.

I’ve learned not to try to hold on to what’s passing or to want to go back to what was, but to be thankful for what is and appreciate the people and things in my life as the gifts (and not entitlements) that they are.

If any of you who went to Metro Memphis are reading this, I’m thankful for you and how you made that time in my life so special. If you’re ever in Nashville, look me up and we can meet up at a Starbucks and reminisce about the old days or even talk about the new ones.

Sunshine and Rain (Pump It Up Now)

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It rained all day. And by all day I do mean ALL DAY. From the moment I woke up and saw that it was already raining until just now, when it is still sprinkling a bit.

I know rain is a good thing and that it makes things grow. I know we need it.

Yet some part of me still yearns for a place where it is consistently sunny and 75 degrees all year round. Part of me would like that very much. Then again, that same part of me wants to eat only chocolate all the time, non-stop.

But the part of me that knows that an all-chocolate diet would get old. Yes, even chocolate wouldn’t be nearly so wonderful if I had it all the time. It would get old. So would sunshine 24/7. At least to me.

You need rainy seasons if only to better appreciate the sunshine. Whether that’s in the weather or in life. Sorrow makes up appreciate laughter all the more and pain serves to make joy all the more memorable.

The joke in Tennessee is that we get all four seasons. Sometimes in one week. The weather can at times be very unpredictable and has probably led to an increase in ulcers and nervous breakdowns among weathermen in this fine state.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t go around wishing for pain and sorrow and struggles. Believe me. I’d rather do without them if I could. But those things are inevitable, and when they come, I appreciate laughter and joy and peace all the more because I don’t take those things for granted anymore.

So if the sun comes out tomorrow (and I’m hoping it does), I will be more glad to see it than if today had been sunny instead of rainy. It’s all about perspective.

More Movie Theology

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“I’d imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn’t be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too. . . .Maybe that’s why a broken machine always makes me a little sad, because it isn’t able to do what it was meant to do… Maybe it’s the same with people. If you lose your purpose… it’s like you’re broken ” (from the movie Hugo).

Very few people know what they were born to do. Fewer still are actually living out of that purpose. So many have settled for jobs and routines and hobbies and weekends and wonder why they lead lives of quiet desperation (as Thoreau famously put it).

I think God made each one of us with a purpose. No one is a mistake. No one is an afterthought. You and I are uniquely and expressly designed by our Creator to do what no one else can do.

I am finding out my own purpose. I know part of it involves writing and communicating the truth of knowing who you are in Christ. I know that I want people to know that God doesn’t love them out of an obligation or because He’s God; He loves them because He wants to. He chose you and called you by your own name and set His affections on you. He not only loves you, He likes you.

Not only did God create each of us with a purpose, He made us to help each other find and fulfill our purposes. I truly believe that we can only be our true, God-made selves in the middle of a community of believers who both minister to each other and reach out to a lost and broken world.

May we know what it’s like to see people find their purpose, to see broken people find wholeness, to see lost people found, and to see dead people coming alive again. What could be better?

Thankful for You

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I’m thankful that you are you and not me. Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for me, too, but I’m glad there is only one of me. I’m not sure the world could handle multiple Gregs running amuck and causing all kinds of chaos.

I’m thankful that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God and that you carry His signature on you. You are not a mistake. You are not an afterthought. You are not a copy of anyone or anything else that has ever been or will ever be. You are uniquely you (try saying that five times fast).

Just as unique is God’s plan for you. Don’t get caught up in comparing your life to someone else’s. Maybe you’re not married. Maybe you’re still living at home with the folks long after you thought you would be. Maybe you’re still wondering what you’ll be when you finally grow up.

That doesn’t make you a failure. It means you are not satisfied with the status quo, but you are wanting to find out what you were born to do and what makes you come alive.

Be patient. God’s promises may not happen according to your timetable, but they always happen in His perfect timing. I believe that if you can hold out a little longer, you will be surprised and amazed at what comes next. God is anything but predictable. But I know it’s gonna be great.

Remember that no matter what happens today, no matter what anybody else says to you or about you, no matter how impossible your life seems right now, that I am thankful for you. I’m rooting for you. So is God. And like I’ve said before, what seems impossible to us is not even remotely difficult for God (thanks to Pete Wilson of Cross Point Church for that one).

 

 

Baggage Part I: Letting Go

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Who doesn’t have baggage? I certainly know I do. I’m pretty sure anyone who is over the age of 5 and who still has a pulse has accumulated some kind of baggage over the years.

What is my baggage? Probably right now, I’m carrying around the constant need to be validated, affirmed, approved, and liked every single moment.

I find myself at the end of conversations thinking I’ve said or texted the absolute wrong thing and ruined the relationship. Things like, “Did I really just end the conversation with ‘Text me’? Is it even possible for there to be a lamer ending to a conversation?”

I think I let go of a little bit of my baggage tonight. I think I’ve finally come to the point where I may not trust myself to keep my relationships alive, but I know that God will keep the right people in my life for as long as they need to be there.

I’ve mentioned before that I am a work in progress. I’m 4o and my dating history reads like a black comedy or a tragedy (either one works, so take your pick). I haven’t had a real girlfriend since I was 5 (her name was Carrie, by the way).

I think I’m more comfortable with my own path and not trying to hijack God’s plan for someone else. I’m learning to enjoy the process and the journey and not be so OCD about the destination.

I think I’m learning that I don’t have to be clever or witty (or even overly coherent) for God to speak through me.

I’m finally learning to be patient with my own process and who I am becoming. I’m more patient with the shortcomings of others, because I’ve seen so much of my own and I’ve seen how very strong God can be in my weakness.

What is your baggage? You have a choice. You can either hold on to your shame and guilt and fear and anger or you can hold onto Jesus, but you can’t hold on to both. And yes, I borrowed that one from Mike Glenn.

You don’t have to carry that baggage forever. You don’t have to let it define you or be a pemanent part of your wardrobe. It all begins with saying, “I can’t do this anymore. I need you, Jesus, to take this and carry it for me.” It may be a process, but it’s so much fun to feel the weight fall off.

May you find that what you’ve carried all this time is one day no longer a part of you. May you find more and more freedom in Christ. May you hear and believe the words at this very moment that “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Amen.

A Prayer for My Friends Tonight

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God, I bring my friends before you tonight. I know that You know what they need better than I do and even better than they do.

God, they are burdened and heavy-laden with work and with school, with spouses and with romantic relationships, with family and friends.

Grant them Your perfect peace tonight and enfold them in Your arms so that they can feel You near to know that You are just as near when they can’t feel You.

Grant them the joy than transcends circumstances and events, good or bad. Joy that can only come from You and that other people can only attribute to You.

Give them wisdom in their friendships. Bring people into their lives who will draw out the God-colors in them and inspire them to hunger and thirst after righteousness and to above all yearn for Jesus more than life itself.

Remove the people who hinder them being who You called them to be. Lord, even me, if I am a hindrance to Your work in their lives. Give them the grace to let the people go who You take out of their existance.

Above all, give them a single passion and vision: to follow hard after You, regardless of what it costs or what anyone else around them thinks. May they see only You and love only You. May their love for others be Your love flowing through them.

Lord, cause Your face to shine on them and be gracious to them. Take them to the lowliest people and let them be Your hands and feet to those who will never be able to repay what You do to them through my friends.

I pray for success and prosperity and good fortune for my friends. More than that, I pray intimacy and a deeper, wilder love for You, even if it comes at the expense of success and prosperity and good fortune.

Thank You for my friends. May they know how grateful I am. Much more than that, may they know each and every day and all through the night how You love them and how fond You are of them and how You call them beloved and how You are their Abba Father. May they each hear the sweet sound of You singing with joy over them in the deep waches of the night.

That’s my prayer for them tonight. Amen.