It’s A Good Feeling When . . .

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It’s a good feeling when you can finally be you– the real you– with no shame or embarrassment. That you can be a full-on goober and not care what anybody else thinks. That you can be the ultimate anti-hipster and go against all that is hip and trendy and not give a rat’s . . . tail.

It’s a good feeling when people walk out of your life and you can smile and wave goodbye and move forward. When you know the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind. The people in your life are God’s blessing to you. When He removes people from your life, it’s often a bigger– though underappreciated– blessing. You never really know what He protected and saved you from when He did that.

It’s a good feeling when you’re content with who you are and realize the best things in life can’t be bought or sold or even valued. When you hear your Abba’s voice and decide that that one voice speaks more meaningfully to you than all the other voices of popularity and fame and success.

It’s a good feeling when you can finally forgive yourself for not being all things to all people, for not being perfect all the time, for being a forgiven sinner and not a first-rate saint. It really is a good feeling when you can not only hear God calling you His beloved in whom He is well pleased, but receive it and live out of it and never ever get over it.

So go live boldly. Make big mistakes and fail ridiculously. As one of my favorite quotes from a movies goes, “Have the courage to fail big and stick around and make ’em wonder why you’re still smilin’.”

And most of all, go out and love being you because not even you can love being you as much as God does.

 

Throwing Rocks 2

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It almost always happens when I write one of these blogs that I will remember something I left out. In this case, it was when I woke up in the middle of the night around 2 am that I remembered what specifically I left out.

Maybe the person who needs your forgiveness the most is you.

Even if someone else did the wounding, it’s easy to blame yourself for letting it happen. Especially if the abuse went on for some time. You stayed and made excuses and didn’t run when you had the chance. So a part of you feels that you deserve what you got.

First of all, you don’t.

And second, you survived. You’re still here, which counts as a win in my book.

Sometimes, you just need to forgive yourself for not living up to your own unrealistic expectations. Or to the expectations that the culture and society has hoodwinked you into believing were essential to your success.

You need to know that God’s plan for you is your own and no one else’s. Maybe you’re not where everyone else seems to be at this point in your life. But you are where God put you. Where God wants you to be. Where God is using you and molding you and making you more like Jesus. And that is by far the best place to be.

I know I’d rather have Jesus and nothing else than to have everything else and not have Jesus.

So everything I said about laying those rocks down and building that altar still applies, even the person who you’re aiming at is your own reflection in the mirror. Let the altar be as a reminder of the time when you stopped letting your failures or unmet expectations or your shame define you. When you started to let your Creator define you.

I think that pretty much covers it.

Easter Season Liturgy Part III

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“Your light is the only light we need
as we travel through life’s mystery
Your word the only voice we hear
that still small voice that leads us
to the place where we should be
Your presence is the only company we need
as we walk this narrow road
Your fellowship the warmth we crave
to help us on our way
May the truth of Easter
The joy of Easter
And the blessings of Easter
Be with us this day and all days
AMEN”

“Almighty Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, instituted the Sacrament of his Body and Blood: Mercifully grant that we may receive it thankfully in remembrance of Jesus Christ our Lord, who in these holy mysteries gives us a pledge of eternal life; and who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever. Amen.”

It is Maundy Thursday, the night before Good Friday, when Jesus endured the sufferings and torture of the cross. It is on this night that He instituted the Lord’s Supper, also referred to as Communion or Eucharist.

On this night, He foreshadowed the brokenness of His own body with the bread and the pouring out of His blood with the wine. He gave the single command to “Do this in remembrance of me.

Regardless of whether you believe the elements are symbols or actually become the body and blood of Jesus, do this in remembrance of Me.

Not because you are sinless, but because you are forgiven, do this in remembrance of Me.

Not because we hope for victory, but because the victory has already been won, do this in remembrance of Me.

Come to the table, with hands open in a posture of submission, dependence, and obedience, and take these elements.

Do this in remembrance of Me.”

 

Easter Season Liturgy Part II

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Seeing as  how this is Holy Week, I thought I’d continue with the theme I started yesterday. This is a prayer of confession and forgiveness that was also a part of the liturgical Kairos service last night:

“We serve a risen Saviour yet live as if in chains. Forgive us, Lord that we are so hesitant to live the resurrection life. Forgive us that we fail to show through word and action the truth that you loved us into your kingdom through the glorious mystery of the Cross. Forgive us that there is still fear in our lives that prevents us from achieving our full potential. Draw us close. Open our eyes to the glory of the risen Christ, our hearts to the wonder of the Cross and our hands to the service of your kingdom where you have placed us. That your name might be glorified through our lives.

AMEN

God of resurrection
of life and death
rebirth
All: Renew our hearts and minds
God of promise
of all beginnings
and all endings
All: Renew our hearts and minds
God of hope
of new growth
and harvest
All: Renew our hearts and minds”

I hope that for me, Easter is a reminder of the penalty that I could NEVER have paid that was paid for me, the cost to redeem me from sin that I could NEVER have afforded but was paid for me. He who knew no sin BECAME sin that I might become the righteousness of God in Christ. He who never did wrong and never took ONE disobedient step ever in His ENTIRE life bore the punishment and shame for ALL my misdeeds and sins and disobedience and rebellion.

As much as I’m all for Easter eggs and bunny rabbits and candy (especially those Cadbury eggs), I hope I never lose sight of why I really and truly celebrate Easter this and every year. Jesus died FOR ME.

A Grain of Salt

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I don’t know what in particular inspired it, but I was reminded of an old phrase that’s become quite the cliche: “with a grain of salt.” As it “take what she says with a grain of salt” or “take him with a grain of salt.”

It means that appearance isn’t always everything and sometimes what people say and what they mean are two very different things.

I’ve learned to take people and relationships with a grain of salt. I’ve learned that first impressions aren’t always the most accurate, regardless of what all those business books have told you. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at some of the people I’d initially written off as being snobbish or stand-offish or unfriendly. In fact, some of the best people who’ve been the most influential in my life weren’t my favorites when I first met them.

I’ve learned that some people are blessings and some are lessons. It doesn’t make them bad or good people, either way. God puts some people in your life for a lifetime and some for a season. You can’t expect to make a lifelong bosom companionship with someone God only meant to be in your life for a short amount of time.

I’ve learned to take my own self with a grain of salt. I know now to almost never say never. As in “I’ll never be that way” or “I’ll never  do that.” You never know where you’ll be or who you’ll be tomorrow or next week or next month. Sometimes, you’re best intentions go wrong and your best plans fail. Sometimes you do need to give up on certain people and plans and move on.

I’d probably be highly embarrassed if some of my old journal entries got published. I was so certain of life and God and people. I’ve come to the point where I realize that wisdom isn’t how much you know, but more the realization that there is so much you don’t know and possibly never will. Wisdom means the ability not only to learn, but to adapt and change and– sometimes– unlearn.

So these days, I take everything– especially myself– with a large helping of salt. It sure does make life a lot easier.

 

Making Today Count

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I saw an interesting movie tonight called The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, about a man who is born old and ages backwards.

His life intersects with many others as they grow older and he grows younger. He never knows when or if he will see any of them again, so he chooses to make the most of the moments he spends with them.

I may not be growing younger, but I know that I’m not promised a tomorrow. Neither are you. No one is.

The goal is to live every day as if it were your last and savor every moment as if it would not come again. Because there will never again be a moment exactly like this one.

This may be me repeating myself yet again, but I don’t care. Love the people in your life and never take them for granted because you don’t know if you’ll see them tomorrow. Never let an opportunity go by to let the people you love know how much you love them. Don’t assume they know. Tell them.

One day, the degrees you’ve earned won’t matter. The promotions won’t matter. The bank accounts and the big fancy houses and luxury cars won’t matter. Those lives who you’ve touched, who’ve touched your life, will matter.

So live that way now.

Life Lessons from A Great Movie

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I finally watched a movie that I had known about for a long time and had always meant to see but never gotten around to. I even bought the movie from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart.

Tonight, I finally got around to it. The movie was What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

The movie is filled with memorable, eccentric characters. The story is anything but formulaic. There are no high-speed car chases or topless women or pyrotechnics or CGI spectacles. Just odd and endearing people living their lives the best way they know how.

One was mentally handicapped. One was morbidly obese. One was just unsure of himself and what he wanted to do with his life. But they loved each other.

I’m sure you have a few of these people in your life. People you wish were different. People who have flaws and bad habits and have done and said some really dumb things. People who can’t help the way they are. Maybe you’re one of them. Maybe you sometimes feel like you wish you could be anywhere else in the world except with these people.

You can still choose to love them. You can see them as they are, warts and all, and love them anyway. Remember that God saw you at your very worst and chose to keep loving you.

Love isn’t blind. Not in the least. Love sees the flaws and imperfections but chooses to seek and find the best in others and help draw it out in them. The way God has loved us all along.

I guess you can tell that I liked the movie, huh?

A Beautiful Borrowed Lenten Prayer

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I found this Lenten prayer from Henri Nouwen when checking my email. I’m subscribed to a site that sends me a daily quote of his because I am a huge fan of his writing. This one spoke powerfully to me and echoed my own thoughts better than I could ever express them. It seems very appropriate for this Ash Wednesday.

“The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.

I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.

I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.

Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me. Amen.”

I could only add that God would give me the discipline to take the time I normally spend on social media and use it to delve into His Word and not just read words but to have my mind and heart transformed by what I read.

 

Happy Birthday Eve to Me!

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Everyone knows about Christmas Eve. Apparently, Thursdays are now being referred to as Friday Eve. So why can’t the day before my birthday be birthday eve?

Birthdays are always a good time to reflect and look back. Sure, I’m not where I thought I’d be at this point, but I am alive. I survived another year. I woke up this morning. That has to count for something.

The fact that you and I are here means that God isn’t through with us just yet. He still has a purpose for you and me.

I believe God has already told us what our purpose is: for Him to shape us into the spitting image of Jesus. I also think that we do that when we savor life and relationships and moments. We do that when we show gratitude in everything and find joy everywhere.

Jesus lived life to the utmost and has called us to do the same. Through His power, we can. I’m not saying all our days will be perfect and sunny and bright, but even on the darkest of days there will still be joy to be found and a multitude of reasons to give thanks.

So I’m happy to be here and thankful for another day of life. And if I wake up tomorrow, I’ll celebrate another year of being alive and loved and blessed.

The Continuing Adventures of Mr. Excitement Himself

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I had quite the fun-filled day. Ok, there were no bungee jumps or skydives or cliff dives involved. No high speed chases or death-defying stunts either. But for me, it was fun.

It started off with a bit of bowling. I have to admit I bowled two royally sucky games but I had fun. Plus, any excuse to get out my $7 Goodwill bowling ball and my $5 thrift store bowling ball bag is worth it (and it ups my cool factor by 50%).

From there, I met some of my Kairos greeter friends at Edley’s BBQ on 12th Ave. South for some good food and good comversation. Not to mention something called Brunswick Stew, also known as a little bowl of heaven. I highly recommend it.

That led to some supremely good ice cream at Jeni’s Spendid Ice Creams  just down the street. They had a flavor called goat cheese  with red cherries (which I was not brave enough to try but I will get it next time. And yes, there will be a next time very soon).

I’ll have to put in at least 48 straight hours on the elliptical to burn off all the calories I consumed, but it was worth it. Sometimes, you just have to say “To heck with it” and live a little. Not every day, but every once in a while.

I drove home under a full moon with good music playing and a sense of peace and well-being. In moments like these, I fully appreciate how completely blessed I am and how I already have everything I need.

PS I have a birthday coming up in 12 days. I accept all major credit cards, cash, check, and servitude. I also accept birthday dinners and surprise parties. Just FYI.