The Lost Art of Porch Sitting

I think in my twilight years I want a house with a front porch. It doesn’t have to be a big house. It can even be one of those tiny houses as long as there is room enough in front for a rocking chair and/or a wicker swing.

I see houses all the time that have front porches of all sizes and types and shapes, from wraparounds to those that barely stretch past the entry. But I very rarely see anyone sitting on those front porches. Most people are too busy and have lost that art of being able to sit on their front porches.

I think it’s a lost art. It’s one thing to be physically present on a front porch but be mentally elsewhere, whether it be on social media via all the devices or with thoughts that are a thousand miles away. Sometimes, all you need is a front porch, a rocking chair, and a good book. Or even just the front porch and rocking chair on a beautiful sunny day.

We’re so addicted to our devices that 15 minutes without them can seem like 15 years. It’s easy to spend all that time wondering what you’re missing out on or what breaking news you haven’t heard about. But all that can wait for a few moments of hearing the hum of a creaky porch swing or the song of the cicadas.

People did that back in the day. They’d spend afternoons and evenings on the front porches, visiting neighbors and sharing sweet tea and their lives. They didn’t have devices. Further back in the day, they didn’t have television. Those front porches were their social media, their grapevine, their community all rolled up into one.

Back when I was little, I’d sometimes curl up on a porch swing and fall asleep to the creaky swaying rhythm and gentle breezes blowing. I’m sure that life can’t be THAT simple again, but I wonder if we don’t overcomplicate our lives with too much stuff and too many activities and not enough margin. We can choose to say no to things to have room for rest and reflection.

I want to get good at front porch sitting, not doing anything other than waving at neighbors and being in the moment and hearing the small still voice of God.

Social Rules to Live By

This post is a bit outside my wheelhouse, so to speak. What follows is some good advice that I wish I had learned earlier (or maybe paid better attention to when someone else was trying to teach me). Some of these may be more applicable than others, but I hope they will all be useful at some point in your life:

  1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to.
  2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person who loaned it to you remembers or asks for it. It shows your integrity and character. The same goes for umbrellas, pens, and lunch boxes.
  3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you to lunch or dinner.
  4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh, so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids?’ Or ‘Why haven’t you bought a house?’ Or ‘Why haven’t you bought a car?’ For God’s sake, it isn’t your problem.
  5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.
  6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time.
  7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember, what may seem like 6 to you might appear as 9 to someone else. Besides, a second opinion is good for an alternative.
  8. Never interrupt people while they are talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all.
  9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and shows how appreciative you are.
  10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
  11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately.
  12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.
  13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.
  14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctor’s appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay.” Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness.
  15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed by how rudely you treat someone below you, but people will notice if you treat them with respect.
  16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.
  17. Never give advice until you’re asked.
  18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age or salary.
  19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it.
  20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreover, eye contact is as important as your speech.
  21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.
  22. After reading a good message, consider saying “Thanks for the message.”

APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don’t have.

I am including the original post to give credit where credit is due.

Balloons

“Sharing what a dear friend once posted:

A professor gave a balloon to every student, who had to inflate it, write their name on it and throw it in the hallway. The professor then mixed all the balloons. The students were then given 5 minutes to find their own balloon. Despite a hectic search, no one found their balloon.

At that point, the professor told the students to take the first balloon that they found and hand it to the person whose name was written on it. Within 5 minutes, everyone had their own balloon.

The professor said to the students: ‘These balloons are like happiness. We will never find it if everyone is looking for their own. But if we care about other people’s happiness, we’ll find ours too'” (William Groce).

I think that’s what the goal of evangelism and missions really is. It’s to help people find true joy and happiness in Jesus. The purpose of this Christian life is to glorify God, love Jesus, and love others. In other words, you get fulfillment when you help others find theirs.

Jesus said it to the effect that if you work to save your own life, you lose it, but if you lose it by giving it away for others, you actually gain it in the end. The best way to rediscover joy is selfless service and helping others find joy.

Squinting in a Fog

Today will go down in history as the Day of the Eclipse. Supposedly, today’s eclipse will be the last one I’ll be able to witness until roughly around 2044. So I definitely wanted to take advantage of this one.

There I was in a prime viewing spot with proper eclipse glasses in hand — later on face when the actual event took place. The only issue was the continual cloudy sky that prevented me from getting a really good glimpse of this solar event.

For a moment, I didn’t think I’d be able to see anything. But as the cloud covering moved across the sky, the eclipse peeked briefly though those clouds from time to time. I was able to see, but not very clearly, so the whole experience was not as good as 2017 when I experienced the whole thing from start to finish.

Life is like that. The Bible speaks about how we now see through a mirror dimly. We experience God through the haze of our own sin and the limitations of our own finite frailty. We are disconnected from the big picture, only able to catch brief glimpses that are sometimes obscured as if by fog or clouds.

But one day, the Bible says, we will see face to face and will know fully as we are fully known by God instead of only knowing in part. We will see our story as God sees it now. Then we will understand. Then we will worship.

“We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!” (1 Corinthians 13:12, The Message).

Being the Easter People

Easter is over, according to all the stores and calendars. There are no more cute little bunny displays at your local Hallmark or Cadbury eggs or wicker baskets at the grocery store. Seemingly just about everybody has moved on to the next big holiday, which I believe is Mother’s Day in May.

But for those who celebrate Easter as Resurrection Day, the celebration goes on. We know that Jesus is still risen and alive. Plus, if you follow the Book of Common Prayer you know there is still Ascension Day and Pentecost to come.

I’m not against all the Easter bunnies and baskets and Easter egg hunts and all the candy. I’m especially not against the candy. But when you reduce Easter to these symbols and turn it into just one day, it cheapens the meaning.

Just as the birth of Jesus ushered in a new way of counting the years (as we moved from B.C. to A.D.), so Easter is equally a marker in history where everything changed. Many Old and New Testament prophecies came to pass on that day.

I hope that we won’t go back to business as usual next Sunday. I hope we will retain the message of Resurrection Day through all the weeks and months to come. The worst moment, the worst day, the worst part of your life is never the final defining moment in your life because Jesus is alive and the tomb is empty. Your hope is never in vain because Jesus conquered sin, death, hell, and everything else that will ever come against you to defeat you.

Easter isn’t just a day but a mindset. As Pope John Paul II said, “Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”

Easter Monday

I did something new this year that will most likely be a tradition from now on. I went to see Andrew Peterson on his Resurrection Letters tour on Easter Monday. I’ve been to three of his Behold the Lamb of God concerts, but not one for Easter.

Of course it was amazing. Every part of it pointed to Jesus as the one who overcame death and the grave, the Lamb slain for the sins of the world. It helped me to once again put everything else into perspective in the light of the empty tomb.

I was captivated by the line of a song that mentioned the resurrection of daffodils in spring. That happens every year after all the trees go bare and the ground is barren during winter. Spring really is the perfect picture of the resurrection with all the flowers and buds coming back from a kind of death to full bloom.

I like spring, but I’m not a fan of all the pollen. But even that means that new life is coming, because all that pollen will germinate the seeds that will burst forth in growth and life. I think I can handle a bit of sinus overload if it means seeing the riot of colors that will follow soon after.

But all that points to the one day when those who have died in Christ will rise. All of the creation that was ruined in the fall will be restored and renewed. What seems so stressful and what keeps me up late at night won’t seem important in view of all the new life. In fact, I probably won’t remember what was causing me all of the anxiety.

Just as surely as spring follows winter, so will Jesus return in the same way He departed from the disciples.

“Is He worthy? Is He worthy?
Of all blessing and honor and glory
Is He worthy? Is He worthy?
Is He worthy of this?

He is!
Is He worthy? Is He worthy?
He is!
He is!” (Andrew Peterson/Ben Shive).

Palm Sunday

“Almighty and everlasting God, who, of thy tender love towards mankind, has sent thy Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, to take upon him our flesh and to suffer death upon the cross, that all mankind should follow the example of his great humility: Mercifully grant that we may both follow the example of his patience, and also be made partakers of his resurrection, through the same Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen” (from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer).

Today is Palm Sunday, a week out from Easter Sunday. This is traditionally the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey to shouts of “Hosanna!” and “Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.”

The crowd was cheering and laying down palm branches before His path. Apparently, in that day palm trees symbolized victory and triumph. Maybe the crowd was anticipating an imminent overthrow of Roman rule. Maybe they were expecting Jesus to start acting the part of an earthly king.

Were those people the same ones who later shouted for Barrabus to be released and for this Jesus to be crucified? I’ve heard a lot of sermons that hinged on the same people at one moment praising Jesus and at the next condemning Him. But I’ve also heard that it wasn’t necessarily the same people.

Regardless, Jesus looked beyond the praise to the pain. He focused beyond the crowds on the cross and all the torture He would shortly endure. His mission wasn’t to get the approval of the crowds in that moment but to set His face toward Jerusalem and Golgotha. His purpose was to lay down His life for the flock.

I heard in a sermon today that to appreciate the joy of Easter Sunday, you need to walk through Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. Take in all the mocking. Being abandoned by His disciples. The beatings. The whip that tore strips of flesh of His back. The carrying of the cross up the hill to Golgatha. All those hours in agony up on that cross. Giving up His spirit and dying.

It’s important to remember that sin isn’t something that God ever takes lightly or brushes off. The Father doesn’t wink at our transgressions and ignore all the wrong we’ve done. Sin always has a cost, and that cost is always death. In the Old Testament, the price was the sacrifice of an animal that pointed forward to the ultimate sacrifice to come. In the New Testament, that ultimate sacrifice is Jesus willingly laying down His life for us.

Take time in the next week to reflect on the fact that Jesus bore the whip and the nails for you and me. He chose the wounds and scars that we might be healed. He died that we might live. And then you can celebrate Easter Sunday a week from today with joy.

Longing for Simpler Times

I’ve been in a nostalgic mood a lot lately, thinking about people who have passed and remembering places like my grandmother’s house on Dee Road in Memphis. Sometimes I have a longing to go back to those people and moments that is so strong that it feels overwhelming.

Maybe it’s because I’m really wanting to go back to when times were simpler. At least they were for me. I didn’t have so many cares or concerns. I knew my parents loved me and would take care of me. I knew my family loved me and watched out for me.

I see now that the times weren’t necessarily simpler, but my life was simpler. Because my parents did their job, I didn’t have to grow up carrying the proverbial weight of the world, dealing with issues beyond my years. I could be a kid, safe and secure from all alarms.

I do think the world seemed less chaotic than it does now. Maybe that was because of the absence of 24-hour news channels constantly telling me how bad the world is. Maybe it’s because I was blissfully unaware of so much of the evil around me. Maybe it’s just that the world is trending down as we get closer to Jesus’ return.

I do know that the Jesus I asked into my heart when I was little is the same one who is with me now. His promises are the same. His presence with me is the same, though I am probably more aware of it — and my need of it. I am just as loved and cared for and cherished and secure as I was back then because it was really Jesus all along who was my protector and provider.

So maybe those places and people I miss were glimpses of something greater that I will only ever fully realize in heaven. Those were like the appetizer before a really great feast. My best days aren’t behind me — they’re ahead and coming soon.

Old School CCM

Maybe this makes me super old, but old music just sounds better. It sounds like real people playing real instruments and singing with real voices.

I grew up on 80s and 90s music, but if you want to get me started and never shut up, start talking to me about 80s and 90s Contemporary Christian Music. Mention artists like Kim Hill, Steven Curtis Chapman, Susan Ashton, PFR, dc talk, Julie Miller, Rich Mullins and so many of those others.

I’m pretty sure I’d win a trivia contest based off of old-school CCM. Or at least I’d know some of the answers.

One of my favorite artists from back when was Julie Miller. She had a unique sound and voice and could write songs like nobody else. Probably my favorite of hers is a song called “Nobody But You.” It’s so honest and transparent and true. Here are the lyrics:

“I have seen the night of a million tears
I have seen an angel’s smile
I have come of age and remained, these years
With the longings of a child

Nobody but you can find my heart
Nobody but you sees in the dark
Nobody but you can call my name and scatter all my pain

I have had the fears of an orphaned heart
I have had a homeless soul
I have been embraced in the arms of grace
You have brought my spirit home

Nobody but you can find my heart
Nobody but you sees in the dark
Nobody but you can call my name and scatter all my pain

Nobody but you can find my heart
Nobody but you sees in the dark
Nobody but you can call my name and scatter all my pain

Nobody but you, nobody but you
Nobody but you, nobody but you
Nobody but you, nobody but you
Nobody but you” (Julie Miller).

There’s Always a Choice

“I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to him, firmly embracing him. Oh yes, he is life itself, a long life settled on the soil that God, your God, promised to give your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” (Deut. 30:19-20).

The children of Israel had a choice. They could choose to serve and obey God, or they could follow after the gods of the peoples in the land they were called to occupy.

Both choices had consequences. Choosing to follow Yahweh led to life and blessing, while running after idols led to curses and death. There was no third option with no consequences.

Today, we have a choice. Following God leads to life, and following sin, self, and Satan leads to death. Jesus said that He was the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one could come to the Father and eternal life but through Him.

The good news is that while you’re living, there’s always time to change the road you’re on. No matter what you’ve done in the past, what terrible choices you might have made, what wreck you might have made of your life, you can always come to God, and He will never cast out anyone coming to Him in faith.

Choose today. Choose Jesus.