Brokenness and Community

We are all broken. Some are just better at hiding it than others, but deep down inside we know we don’t work right. I believe when God reveals our brokenness within the context of community, we have two choices. I can see your brokenness and choose to walk away and shut you out or I can choose to walk with you and share your burdens, “and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Ephesians 6:2). I’m not saying it’s wrong to walk away; some are not ready to handle brokenness in others. But to stay and walk with a brother or sister through brokenness is the better way.

I also think about the image of Jesus breaking bread and blessing it. If we want God to bless us, or better yet to bless others through us, we must first be broken. Only in the context of community where we love each other and share joys and sorrows and bear each other’s burdens can this happen. We shouldn’t just pray for blessings on each other. We should be able to pray for brokenness for each other. We should be authentic and transparent enough to be broken and honest with each other.

I am reminded of Henri Nouwen’s term “wounded healer.” If we aren’t broken, we can never reach beyond the surface in our relationships and serving and ministry, but if we are broken, we can empathize with the weaknesses of others. The more we own our brokenness, the more loving and Christlike we will be toward the brokenness in others.

I want to buck the trend that says that weakness is something you don’t talk about. I want to be like Paul who boasted in his weakness, because that’s where Christ’s strength is perfected. Let people see that you are not a perfect saint, but a weak and broken and transparent vessel through which God’s love can pour unhindered to the world around you.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

I want to be maladjusted

I was thinking about a speech Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave where he stated that he was proud to be maladjusted to things like social injustice. I like that terminology. I am also proud to be maladjusted to this world that doesn’t work and to the church when there’s too much world and not enough Word.

I want to be maladjusted to superficial relationships and fair-weather friends and to me when I am both of these.

I want to be maladjusted to when the most exclusive social circles are in church settings.

I want to be maladjusted to inauthenticity in myself and others instead of compassionately bearing one another’s burdens.

I want to be maladjusted to looking out for my own interests as I walk right past the broken and hurting without even seeing them.

I want to be maladjusted to thinking that spiritual problems can have political answers.

I want to be maladjusted to giving God my leftovers and not laying down my life for the Kingdom of Christ.

I want to be maladjusted to a self-sufficient American Church who relies on their own talents, abilities and strategies and does not cry out to the Holy Spirit out of utter need and dependency.

I want to be maladjusted to commitment-phobic Christianity when other Christians around the world are willing to pay with their lives for the privilege of what we take for granted on a daily basis.

I want to be maladjusted to anything less than building-shaking, fire-falling, Spirit-drenched revival among God’s people.

I want to be maladjusted to this world and not try to fit in, but instead be like my Lord Jesus Christ.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

My prayer for tonight

God, I don’t understand why things happen the way they do, but You do.

I don’t understand why I should be so blessed when all I seem to do is complain about what I lack, but You know why and love me anyway.

I don’t understand why people act the way they do, but You do and You call me to forgive them as You have forgiven them.

I don’t understand many times why I act the way I do, but You do and You forgive me.

I can’t fix my brokenness, but You can because You took it upon Yourself at Calvary.

I can’t mend broken relationships, but You can because You make all things new.

I can never be a man of God on my own, but in You I am one because You are in me.

I can never die to my way of doing things and say, Thy will be done,” but You did. And Your power and resurrected life are in me.

I can’t change the world or eradicate injustice, poverty, wrong and evil, but one day You will.

All the things I long to be in my best moments and all I ever dreamed I could be, You are.

To all that I have needed or will ever need, You say, “I AM!”

Thoughts on prayer and healing

I was thinking today about Job’s situation and how it relates to mine (and possibly yours, too). In Job 42, God tells Job’s friends that they have slandered Job and misrepresented God. He tells them that Job will pray for them, and He will hear him and not deal with them as they deserve. Job prays for his friends, then God gives him back what he lost, doubled.

Job had to pray for those who wronged him before God restored him. Job had to forgive the ones who slandered him and his God. Is there some area of your life that needs healing and/or restoration? It could be that God is waiting for you to pray for the ones who hurt you in that area before he restores to you what you lost or heals you.

As much as I pray for God to forgive those who hurt me, that much will God forgive me (see the Lord’s prayer). As much as I pray for God to bless those who slander me, God will bless me. As much as I pray for the restoration and healing of those whose wounds I carry, God will restore and heal me.

This is me thinking out loud again. So take it for what it’s worth. As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

A Question I Ask Myself A Lot Lately (One we should all ask at some point)

My question came to me after I had been reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan.

How can I have the Holy Spirit inside me and have the power of the resurrection and have my life look just like the people around me who have no Holy Spirit? In essence, why can they not tell a difference? Why can’t I tell a difference?

My prayer is from Acts 4:13. May be so immersed in Christ and filled with the Spirit that those around me are astonished and can tell that I have been with Jesus. If I am gifted in every way, but do not have the earmarks of abiding in the presence of Jesus, what good is that? If I have all this education, but lack being filled with the Spirit, it is worth less than nothing.

My prayer goes like this: Lord Jesus, captivate my heart in such a way that I am drawn to You and others see Jesus in me and are drawn not to me, but to the Jesus in me. Make my life an epistle, a testimony of how good You are.

Taking Back the Terms

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I’ve been thinking today a lot about certain words like radical, militant, fanatical and zealot. These days, those words seemed to be used almost exclusively with a negative connotation. I myself immediately think of terrorists or extreme right-wing militia groups who kill abortion doctors or church people who are always picketing something or other and chanting about how God hates this group and that group. I think it’s time we took these words back. Here’s what I mean:

Be RADICAL in serving others and sacrificing of all you are for the kingdom of Christ.

Be MILITANT is loving people as they are right now, warts and all, and living out Jesus to them.

Be FANATICAL in forgiving those who hurt, slander, and insult you; and in finding ways to display the grace of God to them (and to anyone else who has been written off as unlovable and unredeemable).

Be ZEALOUS in seeking the face of God wholeheartedly and in striving to know Him more and more all the days of your life.

I am more and more convinced that the life Jesus calls us to is radical, militant, fanatical and zealous. Anything short of that is unbiblical. This kind of life is something we can not do on our own. We need God’s power working through us. The good news is we have it. It’s “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Lord, fill us with your Spirit and give us the mind of Christ and live through us to the world around us. Make us your hands and feet, so that we may walk in your ways and go to the people You want to touch. May we see with Your eyes and feel with Your heart and go in Your strength.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Confessions of a Ragamuffin (inspired by good conversation tonight at Ben & Jerrys)

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My greatest fear is that people will find out who I really am deep down inside and will leave me and want nothing else to do with me. I project my own self-condemnation onto others and believe that they are angry with me or upset with me or have written me off when it is just me that is not liking me.

Most of the time, I feel the constant need to be approved, affirmed and admired by everyone and my biggest peeve is to be ignored (or to feel that I am ignored). I try to be all spiritual and come across as so very wise and super-saint, when many times the words coming out of my mouth feel like hay and rubble that will not stand the test of the fire. I say I trust in God, but I am almost always working on a backup plan in case God fails me and does not come through for me. I am a mess.

I am also beloved by the God who knows all this about me and more. He was not willing that I should perish, but that I should come to repentence and He will not ever stop loving me. I am blessed. I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies (so why do I still want more?). I am becoming who God has already declared me to be. I am constantly amazed just about every single day at the extreme lengths God will go to in order to prove Himself to me through friends, circumstances, reminders and (most importantly) through His Word.

Thank you to my friends who have inspired me by their honesty and willingness to be naked emotionally and spiritually. Your words and actions make me want to be more like my Jesus. You help pull me out of myself (notice how many “I”s are in this blog) and keep me wanting to live for a kingdom bigger than my own. You will never ever know how you have blessed me. I feel like I have given one tenth of what you have given me, but I want to do more.

So who am I? I am not my weaknesses or my strengths. My greatest strengths apart from God become my biggest weaknesses and the biggest obstacles to me being who God wants me to be. My greatest weaknesses in the hands of God will turn into His perfect strength working in and through me to impact the world around me. I am BELOVED, BLESSED and BECOMING LIKE JESUS. My Abba is very fond of me.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.