kindness

It’s All About Perspective

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You know what it’s like to be around people who constantly focus on everything negative. In any given situation, you can always count on these people to find something wrong or where it’s good now but it might rain or storm tomorrow. At times, we’ve probably all been that person depending on how much sleep we got last night or the enchiladas we had for lunch that aren’t agreeing with us.

But being around people who are constantly negative is draining. You find yourself being pulled into a kind of Pit of Despair when the person you’re talking to is complaining nonstop and has next to nothing positive to say about anything.

As I’ve mentioned numerous times, I think the key is perspective. And what helps your perspective more than anything is cultivating an attitude of gratitude. Being thankful can change the way you see your world.

I get that some people seem to have more than their fair share of bad luck or rotten circumstances. Some people never seem to get any breaks. For some, I really think that a negative outlook leads to a negative outcome in a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy kind of way. Other people can be going through a season of suffering and still keep a smile on their faces.

The ones who are best at staying positive are the ones who know that this life isn’t all there is. They have their hopes set not on a better tomorrow but in the One who holds all our tomorrows in the palm of His hand. They’re looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where everything bad will be no more and all the best parts of this life will have only been like an appetizer before the real feast.

The moral of the story is what I’ve probably said a thousand times but still can’t say it enough into my own brain — giving thanks makes it possible to see the good in your day and in your life and to see God at work around you. That’s the key.

Nothing to Report Here

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I’m enjoying a very low-key Saturday night. I’m hanging out with three very sleepy dogs in the Bellevue area of West Nashville. I’m actually having a little trouble keeping my eyes open. Such the party scene this is.

I love dog-sitting. I love dogs, too, even though I am a self-professed cat person. I don’t believe you should have to choose one or the other. Both cats and dogs can be very loving and affectionate in their own ways.

The best part of all is that moment when you win an animal’s trust and a bond is formed. I tend to think that goes for people as well.

All it takes is patience and kindness. Both of those go a long way in just about every situation you find yourself in. Just patience and kindness.

I think social media could stand a little more patience and kindness, but that’s a topic that will have to wait for another day.

Rewind and Be Kind

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“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see” (Mark Twain).

That’s your to-do list for tomorrow: be kind.

The saying goes that you never know what any of the people you run across are going through or what battles they’re facing, so be kind always.

I truly believe it takes more energy and effort to be a jerk than it does to be kind. The payoff for kindness is much more rewarding, too.

All it takes is to remember a time when someone was kind to you when you didn’t deserve it and how it felt. Then all you have to do is pay it forward.

That’s it for tonight. Short and simple and sweet. Be kind.

The end.

A Good Deed Is Never Lost

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“A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love; pleasure bestowed on a grateful mind was never sterile, but generally gratitude begets reward” (St. Basil).

I heard this quoted on an old episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show earlier this evening. It jumped off the screen the moment I heard it.

That’s the key– planting a lifetime’s worth of courtesy, kindness, and gratitude. You never go wrong if you steep yourself and those around you in these virtues.

True, the Gospel comes in words as well as actions, but you cultivate the ground for the gospel seed to take root with the courtesy that leads to friendship, the kindness that leads to love, and the gratitude that leads to reward.

These days, most people are too impatient for these virtues. They want microwave relationships and instant gratification. I still believe that the best things worth having are the things you work for and work on over a lifetime. They never come quickly or easily.

The old adage is true: people really don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care. All the knowledge in the world is useless outside of the context of relationship.

Evangelism is of no good if you only see people as potential converts and not as flesh and blood real-life human beings with stories to tell and hearts that break. Sharing your faith doesn’t work if all you’re after is the conversion and not the relationship.

Regardless, courtesy and kindness and gratitude are never wasted. You alway reap a reward when you sow these because you always end up better for them.

Oh and The Dick Van Dyke Show is classic television at its very best. It’s also on Netflix. I highly recommend it if you missed it the first time around (like those of us who were born too late).

 

Patience and Kindness

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When it comes to dog-sitting, the most valuable asset you have isn’t necessarily how knowledgeable you are about all things canine. It isn’t how much training or experience you have.

For me, the two most important assets are patience and kindness. Those two things can win over most dogs.

I think that goes for most people as well. In any relationship, you almost never go wrong by exhibiting patience and kindness, remembering that it was God’s own patience and kindness that won you in the first place.

The last place I dog-sat, I remember how two of the dogs used to be so afraid of me. One would bark at me almost nonstop and the other would run from me. Now, both of them love me and are quite affectionate toward me.

Was it any extraordinary skill of mine? No. It was that one-two combination of patience and kindness.

Remember that when you’re dealing with someone who’s difficult or who drives you to distraction. A little patience and kindness goes a long way. Mix in some empathy and understanding and you can find an enemy becoming a friend. Of course, above all you need the love of God in you to flow through you, but that patience and kindness is key.

That’s my mantra for the night– patience and kindness. Patience and kindness.

Try it out sometimes.

 

People and Things That Make Me Really Tired

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I used to get upset at a lot of things. Now when I’m confronted by these same things, I feel the overwhelming urge to lie down and take a nap.

Here’s a list of the people and things that make me really tired (note that this is 98% in jest and not to be taken too seriously):

  1. People who won’t speak to you or acknowledge you even when you’re literally sitting right next to them. Is it that hard?
  2. Every piece of electronic equipment that seems to slow down when you’re trying to get through the end of the day.
  3. People who are super impatient and hyper-aggressive drivers that will cut in front of fifteen cars to arrive at their destinations a whopping thirty seconds earlier.
  4. People who still think that spiritual problems have political answers, even after twenty plus years of evidence to the contrary.
  5. People who make lists about people who get on their nerves.
  6. People who are unkind and/or neglectful to animals or children (or other grown people). Kindness literally costs nothing and benefits you greatly, at least a lot more than jerkiness does.
  7. Being up since 5:25 am, which is totally unnatural, unbiblical, and unethical (in my opinion),

Quite honestly, I make my own self tired a lot. I catch myself doing and saying stupid stuff a la Joey Tribbiani. I catch myself thinking judgmentally toward others when  I would expect grace if I were in their shoes.

I think my guardian angel looks at me a lot and shakes his head and face-palms over me on a daily basis. I think I even drive him to drink alcoholic beverages (which is probably frowned upon in heaven).

I know that God looks at me and sees none of the royal mess-ups I make or my daily screw-ups but instead sees the perfection of His Son Jesus. He looks at me more completely and perfectly than anyone else (including me looking at myself in a mirror) and is pleased.

And that, my friends, is the only opinion that matters.

The end.

 

Relationships and Such

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I had some random thoughts on relationships based on what I’ve been observing on my social media outlets. I thought I’d share some of them with you. Don’t you feel so very lucky?

1) If you want to date better people, become a better person. You don’t attract what you want, but what you are.

2) In the end, you don’t choose your family, but you do choose to love them because they’re the only family you’ll get and once they’re gone, it’s too late to forgive and reconcile and make things right again. The pain of reconciliation and letting go of your pride is nowhere near the pain of regret and of chances forever lost.

3) The wisest people aren’t the ones who think they know it all, but the ones who know they have a lot to learn.

4) As I’ve said before, the only thing that can truly be your world and fulfill you and make you complete is Jesus. Anything and anyone else– husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, sons, daughters– can’t. To try to make someone your world is to commit idolatry and to place a burden on them that they were never meant to bear.

5) As underrated a virtue as it is, kindness does matter. Long after the six-pack abs and GQ looks have faded, kindness is what will get you through the storms and dark passages of life. Choose a mate who is attractive but more than that who is kind and generous.

6) Now you have that Natalie Merchant song stuck in your head. My work here is done.

7) The old saying is true. You really never understand other people until you’ve climbed in their shoes and walked around for a bit. Until you’ve seen life from their perspective.

8) In the end, it really won’t matter that you worked 60-hour weeks or accumulated trophies and awards and accolades or made lots of money. What will matter are the people whose lives you’ve touched. All that you can take with you is what you’ve given away.

Patience and Kindness

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image

I think I finally figured out what won these dogs over that I’m dog-sitting. It wasn’t my oh-so-charming personality. It wasn’t giving them a little extra food in their bowls. It wasn’t my hypnotic and soothing voice. What was it?

It was patience and kindness.

That’s how God won me over. Probably that’s how God captured your heart, too.

That’s what will win the world, I think. Just plain simple patience and kindness. No one wants to listen to a message of love from someone who’s impatient and rude. No one wants to be yelled at.

It is so true. People don’t care what you know (or even Who you know) until they know you care about them. Not just as souls to be saved but as people who really and truly matter to God. People created in the image of God who have worth and value simply because God made them.

I know I personally need quite a bit of patience and kindness both from God and from other people. That’s why I try to give it out whenever I can.

By the way, this is a milestone. My 1,500th blog post. Yay me.

What I Read This Morning

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the-voice-bible

I’ve been reading through the Bible this year in a different translation. It’s called The Voice, and I really like it. It’s not perfect, but I have yet to find a translation that was perfect. That’s why I tend to use more than one and go back and forth between different ones.

That being said, I was struck by reading a familiar passage in a different way. Here it is:

“If you’re listening, here’s My message: Keep loving your enemies no matter what they do. Keep doing good to those who hate you. Keep speaking blessings on those who curse you. Keep praying for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, offer the other cheek too. If someone steals your coat, offer him your shirt too. If someone begs from you, give to him. If someone robs you of your valuables, don’t demand them back. Think of the kindness you wish others would show you; do the same for them.

Listen, what’s the big deal if you love people who already love you? Even scoundrels do that much! So what if you do good to those who do good to you? Even scoundrels do that much! So what if you lend to people who are likely to repay you? Even scoundrels lend to scoundrels if they think they’ll be fully repaid.

If you want to be extraordinary—love your enemies! Do good without restraint! Lend with abandon! Don’t expect anything in return! Then you’ll receive the truly great reward—you will be children of the Most High—for God is kind to the ungrateful and those who are wicked. So imitate God and be truly compassionate, the way your Father is.

If you don’t want to be judged, don’t judge. If you don’t want to be condemned, don’t condemn. If you want to be forgiven, forgive. Don’t hold back—give freely, and you’ll have plenty poured back into your lap—a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, brimming over. You’ll receive in the same measure you give” (Luke 6:27-38).

That’s a hard teaching. I know I could never do all that in my own strength. But that’s what t I’m aiming for. That’s what we’re all aiming for if we truly follow Jesus.

I had another thought. People want to paint Jesus in their own colors. Either they make Him into an ultra-rightwing conservative or a peace-loving liberal fanatical. I do think there’s some merit to both, but yet each side falls short in its vision of the Messiah. Jesus Himself prayed for Jerusalem that she might know His peace, but yet He also said that He didn’t come to bring peace but a sword.

To me, Jesus was so much more than either conservative or liberal. He was (and is) the Eternal God-Man and, just as God’s thoughts and ways are so much higher than ours, so in a way is Jesus. He’s beyond any of our categorization.

One thing I know. Jesus didn’t come to legitimize one side or the other. He didn’t come to justify a belief system or a political platform. He came to seek and save the lost, no matter where they came from.

He asks one thing of us. His command is, “Follow me.” More than an ideology or a systematic theology, Christianity is and has always been about following the person of Jesus. That’s it.

What I Want for Christmas in 2013

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catslist

You read the title and thought, “Aww, he’s going to wish for things like world peace and global sing-a-longs.” Not really. I have some selfish wants that I’m sharing as well as some (mostly) altruistic wishes. 

1) I would like world peace, but I know the heart of people too well. All I can hope and pray for is peace within the hearts of as many people as possible who are willing to surrender everything to Jesus.

2) One red Mini-Cooper, preferably with white stripes and/or a British flag emblem on the roof and/or on the sideview mirrors.

3) For a personal trainer or someone who will help me get more motivated to live healthier.

4) A MacBook Air ’cause they are so light and fluffy. And because PC laptops are just too slow and clunky.

santaswishlist

5) For each person to see his or her true value in Christ and to know that true beauty comes from being uniquely and marvelously designed by a Creator and loved infinitely.

6) A trip to New England at some point in my life. Ideally in the fall but I’m not picky about when. I would love to try Mystic Pizza🍕 in Mystic, Connecticut and visit a few lighthouses while I’m there. 👍

7) A date with Kari Jobe. 😁 

8) For chocolate to not have fat grams and calories. 🙏

9) Gift cards to amazon.com, Best Buy, Frothy Monkey, iTunes, and Ecko (so I can look swanky).

10) To see every cat and dog in a shelter find loving homes with loving people who will take care of them and treasure them.

11) That stone house in downtown Franklin with the red door that looks so homey.🏡

12) For Concord Road to be four lanes instead of two with a turning lane.

13) A really nifty cowboy hat.

14) Anything I’ve listed on my Amazon wish list.

15) For more kindness and compassion and understanding between people.

economy