joy and peace

Set Free VBS- Day Three

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I’m pretty sure I’ll have no trouble getting to sleep tonight. I’m tired, but it’s a very good tired. I spent most of day three of Vacation Bible School taking pictures with my REAL camera, i.e. not a camera phone, but one with interchangeable lenses and telescopic zoom capabilities. I took 220 pictures today, compared with 83 for the first two days combined. And it was hot. Did I mention that?

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It was beautiful seeing so many children (over 100 all together) seeing the love of Jesus lived out with flesh and blood by people who gave up their time to come to an impoverished part of town where there were no TV cameras or any other kind of media present.

The main verse of this year’s VBS was 1 Timothy 1:7–  “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control” (from the Amplified Bible).

Many of these kids know fear all too well. Maybe it’s from gangs or from abusive parents. Maybe it’s fear of never breaking out of the cycle of poverty. Whatever the case, Jesus didn’t come to perpetuate that cycle but to break it. His perfect love casts out fear and when he comes into a human heart, He brings power to overcome fear, love that replaces the fear, and self-control to make good choices and not keep up the cycle of fear and hate.

SONY DSCThis week, the Kingdom of God broke through a little more. The Set Free neighborhood may not look any different, but I truly believe that the Spirit of God dispelled the spirit of fear for a little while and people saw what life could be like apart from that fear. People saw what living in the true joy and peace that belonging to Jesus brings.

I was so blessed to be even a small part of what God is doing and has been doing in this neighborhood. I know God changed at least one life over the course of this week– mine. I can’t ever go back to who I was last week or see the world the way I used to see it. God has broken my heart a little more and made it bigger. Hopefully, I’m becoming more and more of a conduit who receives from God only to give it away to those who need it more than I.

Keep praying for these kids. Keep praying against the spirit of darkness that pervades so much of the area (as well as so many other places in this city). Pray that the seeds planted over the last three days will take root and germinate and turn into a harvest of people coming to know Jesus.

I know I’ll be back next year, God willing. I hope you’ll be there, too.

 

What Happens Next?

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Recently, I admitted to someone that I had feelings for her. It took a lot of courage and bravery for me to do that and my mind ran through the gamut of responses I would receive from “I never want to see or talk to you again and I’m getting a restraining order against you,” to “I love you, my strong handsome hunk of man. Let’s go right now to Vegas and get married.” OK, I didn’t really seriously consider that last one. But I did hope she liked me the same way I liked her.

She didn’t. It turns out there’s a guy she’s interested in. And that’s okay. I can pray for God’s will in that relationship and still be good friends with her. I call that a win.

I allowed myself a process of letting the grief come. I went into Baskin Chapel at my church and knelt down and let the tears come. I grieved over saying goodbye to a dream that felt so good and so right. Then I got up and moved on.

I’m not saying we won’t ever ever be more than friends ever. God is still God and he’s still in control. I’m still praying the prayer that never fails– Your will be done.

But it’s good to know that God’s got me in this. Even through the joy and peace mixed with hurt and sadness, I know God is right here with me. I know I’m not falling apart only by his amazing grace.

Maybe I’ll meet someone else and start the process over. I hope so. One thing I know for certain that there’s no time that my God won’t be with me and there’s nothing he can’t work for my good and his glory. I still believe that the best is still yet to come and God’s not even close to being finished with me.

I’m still living my miracle.

 

Sunshine and Rain (Pump It Up Now)

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It rained all day. And by all day I do mean ALL DAY. From the moment I woke up and saw that it was already raining until just now, when it is still sprinkling a bit.

I know rain is a good thing and that it makes things grow. I know we need it.

Yet some part of me still yearns for a place where it is consistently sunny and 75 degrees all year round. Part of me would like that very much. Then again, that same part of me wants to eat only chocolate all the time, non-stop.

But the part of me that knows that an all-chocolate diet would get old. Yes, even chocolate wouldn’t be nearly so wonderful if I had it all the time. It would get old. So would sunshine 24/7. At least to me.

You need rainy seasons if only to better appreciate the sunshine. Whether that’s in the weather or in life. Sorrow makes up appreciate laughter all the more and pain serves to make joy all the more memorable.

The joke in Tennessee is that we get all four seasons. Sometimes in one week. The weather can at times be very unpredictable and has probably led to an increase in ulcers and nervous breakdowns among weathermen in this fine state.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t go around wishing for pain and sorrow and struggles. Believe me. I’d rather do without them if I could. But those things are inevitable, and when they come, I appreciate laughter and joy and peace all the more because I don’t take those things for granted anymore.

So if the sun comes out tomorrow (and I’m hoping it does), I will be more glad to see it than if today had been sunny instead of rainy. It’s all about perspective.