ignoring

More Beautiful Words

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

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“Some of us tend to do away with things that are slightly damaged. Instead of repairing them we say: “Well, I don’t have time to fix it, I might as well throw it in the garbage can and buy a new one.” Often we also treat people this way. We say: “Well, he has a problem with drinking; well, she is quite depressed; well, they have mismanaged their business…we’d better not take the risk of working with them.” When we dismiss people out of hand because of their apparent woundedness, we stunt their lives by ignoring their gifts, which are often buried in their wounds.

We all are bruised reeds, whether our bruises are visible or not. The compassionate life is the life in which we believe that strength is hidden in weakness and that true community is a fellowship of the weak” (Henri Nouwen).

I’ve done that before– dismissing people because of their apparent woundedness. I’ve also had it done to me a few times.

I can say with all sincerity that these words are true. You and I may have every right to dismiss these people, but we do lose something– those untapped gifts lying hidden in those very wounds.

Maybe next time I can see those people and their wounds with a different set of eyes next time– eyes of grace. Maybe next time I can remember Who saw my wounds and sought me out anyway. I can remember that He gained His own scars for the healing of mine.

Just a thought.

Life Lessons from Candy Crush Saga

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 19 Comments

I’m a fan of Candy Crush Saga. In the past few days, I’ve been slightly addicted to . . . er, I mean really dedicated to this game. My pattern is that I’ll be stuck on a level for quite a while then suddenly I’ll breeze through several in one sitting. 

I’ve learned something about the game. You have to be intentional with just about every move you make to be successful.

Life is like that. You may wish for more hours in a day (just like I might wish for a few more moves in the game before I run out), but really the question is how intentional are you about using the time you’re given? Are you task-focused or people-focused. At the end of the day, you have to decide what really is important and what’s not.

I’ve said it before but the harsh truth is this: you will find time for the things and the people that matter to you. If you find yourself making excuses over why you can’t find time for someone, maybe it’s because they aren’t really that important to you. You may call yourself their friend, but the truth is you’re just an acquaintance.

You can’t do everything and you can’t be friends with everyone. You have to decide who and what you’re going to invest in and make those things and people your priority. You choose people whose qualities you most want in your life, who are headed in a direction you want to go, and who will ultimately help you become your truest self, i.e. more like Jesus.

If your so-called friends can’t ever make time for you, let them go. Pray for them and wish them well, but don’t keep trying to reserve a place in your life for someone who doesn’t want to be there. You will find plenty of people who want you around and who want to spend time with you and will live it out. Remember the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E. No other way shows your love for people than spending time with them.

After all that, do give people plenty of grace. I gave someone chance after chance to be my friend, but they ignored every request I made to spend time with them and hang out with them. They only responded to me after I suggest that it be best for us both to move on.

As for that infernal game, one day I will defeat level 23. I’ve come tantalizingly close, but then managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s my talent. Did I mention how much of a gamer I’m not?

Anyway, as always, take what’s useful to you from this and leave the rest. Hopefully, God will speak some truth into your life from these ramblings. Thanks again for investing in my life by taking the time to read these posts.

 

The Real Dirt on Relationships

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

someone

No, this isn’t another one of those blogs on dating. Yeah, I know the typical cliche topic whenever you go to a singles group or Young Adult Bible Study is dating, relationships, and– the holy grail of all singles– marriage.

This is not one of those.

“If someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. Don’t bother reserving a space for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.”

I know we’re all busy. We have lives and jobs. Some of us have marriages and kids. Some of us have pets. We all have a plethora of activities and groups and social events we’re a part of. There’s still only 24 hours in a day and that’s not going to change any time soon.

But the harsh truth is this: if someone means something to you, you will find time for them. If you can’t (or won’t) find time for them, it means that they don’t matter. You may tell them they matter, but if your actions speak otherwise, that’s what the person will hear. Actions do speak far louder than words.

If someone doesn’t respond to your texts or posts, the same thing applies. I understand that you might not have time to reply in that instant, but if you care about the other person at all, you will find the time to respond. Even if it’s just “I got your text” or “Thanks, but no thanks” is better than nothing at all. To not respond at all is perceived as ignoring the person, and as we all know, my or your perception may not be reality, but it’s all we have to go on.

You do have to learn to let those people go who won’t make the effort to be a part of your life. And making an effort means making or finding time. Always. Embrace those who stick with you through your moments of temporary insanity, through when you’re not as easy to be around. Those are rare gems that don’t come along every day.

I should add that not every single relationship will be like this. Some healthy relationships involve people who won’t see or hear from each other for a long time, but when the two get together, it’s like no time at all has passed. My advice is to always in every relationship give the other person grace and the benefit of the doubt.

As I’ve said before, you can’t be friends with everyone. At least not in the sense of investing in people and cultivating meaningful relationships with them. You will either have many shallow relationships or fewer but deeper friendships that last.

Most of all, hold all of your relationships with an open hand and a surrendered heart. God will put some people in your lives for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, or 5 years. Sometimes, you only get one conversation. Sometimes, you get years of companionship. Don’t try to hold onto someone God has only put into your life for a short time.

That’s all I have for tonight, just some things that have been ruminating in the old noggin of mine for quite some time.

Whatever you did to the least of these, you did it to Me.

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).

I have been thinking about that verse quite a bit today. Not so much in the sense of the poor and downtrodden, which is obviously the main ones Jesus is talking about here. But what if at one point I am the least of these. Or what if you are the least of these. How would you treat me? How would I treat you?

I’d like to think I would treat you with respect and dignity and be Jesus to you. The truth is that whatever I do or don’t do to you at that moment of your utmost weakness, I do to Jesus. It’s interesting that Jesus always identifies with the broken and downcast and outcasts rather than identifying with those who are socially acceptable (like I tend to do nearly all the time).

Am I ignoring Jesus in someone else because He doesn’t look or act like me? Am I brushing past Him when I walk past someone who is less polished and more socially awkward? If I am harsh and critical with myself when I am at my lowest ebb, what am I saying to Jesus? Whatever you and I did or didn’t do to the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you and I did or didn’t do to Jesus.

So treat everyone you meet like you would treat Jesus, all of us go through times in our lives when we can identify with the least of these through our brokenness and weakness. In the end, what will matter most will be what we did or didn’t do for the least of these, whether they were living in a cardboard box in the slums or in a mansion.