Things I Love 35: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Get Back on the Internet . . .

island hammock

“That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“God is good and I am always loved” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“The whole of the life — even the hard — is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up”  (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Yeah, just when you thought I was done with this series, I resuscitate it and bring it back from the world wide graveyard. I’m not even close to being finished with all these thousand and more gifts I’ve received in my lifetime. It’s probably closer to 10,000. Actually, if I were completely honest, there’d be no way to count the blessings in my life for no human number goes that high. So I’ll do my best, starting at #1,036.

1,036) Yet more good coffee and conversation with another friend at Frothy Monkey (after a bit of confusion as to which Frothy Monkey).

1,037) When I stop comparing myself to others and instead compare myself to where I used to be.

1,038) Politically Correct Bedtime Stories.

1,039) Seeing my Romanian friend and sister-in-Christ happily married.

1,040) Rubbing my bare feet against carpet.

1,041) Not getting elbowed in the head or having my bare feet stepped on during volleyball games.

1,042) That possibly the best days and moments of my life are still yet to come.

1,043) Not getting counted off anymore for split infinitives.

1,044) Friends who actually make time to keep up with me and encourage me regularly.

1,045) All the old episodes of Are You Being Served?

1,046) Memories of watching TV as a kid with my uncle in the old camper on our property in Christiana.

1,047) That I’m not named after an airline.

1,048) Anticipating yet another Jonny Lang album coming out in September.

1,049) My gigantic over-the-ears headphones that I use to listen to music late at night sometimes.

1,050) Making up words when I don’t know the actual lyrics to a song.

1,051) Finding out what the actual lyrics are to a song I’ve been singing wrong all this time.

1,052) Just about any movie or TV show featuring Judi Dench.

1,053) Catching up with Union University classmates.

1,054) Ditto for Briarcrest classmates.

1,055) That God loves the crazy people as much as the “sane” ones.

1,056) The short spontaneous conversation I had with the girl named Rebecca who was reading that Mark Batterson book.

1,057) Every one of the 300+ pictures I took at the Set Free VBS this year.

1,058) Seeing those kids being prayed over and loved on and shown Jesus.

1,059) Every time the Kingdom of God takes back a person or a place from the kingdom of darkness.

1,060) Mastering the art of making pimento cheese.

1,061) Saying the words “pimento cheese.”

1,062) Classic devotionals by people like Oswald Chambers and Charles Spurgeon.

1,063) Bowling a game over 100.

1,064) Silence. Sometimes.

1,065) That even my fidelity to God is a gift from God (thanks to Thomas Merton for that one.

1,066) Friends who know the song in my heart and can sing it back to me when I’ve forgotten the words.

1,067) Any old Frank Capra movie.

1,068) Not being in a hurry all the time.

1,069) Knowing that I have an Advocate and Defender who pleads for me before the Throne of God.

1,070) Not nearly being close to finished with these lists.

Translating My Prayers

prayer2

I had a friend from Romania who attended Kairos with her new husband of four months. Since he’s not quite as adept at English as she is, she interpreted most of the Kairos service for him. It was a beautiful thing to see.

Then a light bulb went off in my head. That’s what the Holy Spirit does for me when I pray. I don’t mean that God needs an interpreter to understand my Southern dialect of English, but sometimes my prayers don’t even have words. Sometimes all I have are sighs and groans that are too deep for words, raw emotions that I can’t figure out, much less give voice to.

That’s where the Holy Spirit takes over. Even when I’m praying what I think God wants to hear, the Holy Spirit is inside me praying what’s really in my heart and on my mind. Even if that is anger toward God or frustration with how I think he’s guiding me.

Sometimes in prayer, thoughts come unbidden to my mind that I’m afraid to pray. Or at least I’m tempted to spiritualize so that they sound more Christian. Through the Holy Spirit, God sees beyond my Christian-ese and my thees and thous to the real words I can’t (or won’t) pray.

As I’ve said before, I’m so glad God didn’t give me 90% of what I asked for. He may not have caused that certain girl to fall in love with me, but he gave me something much better. He gave me Himself and an overwhelming sense of a more perfect Love that no human could ever give me.

He may not  have given me riches, but He’s helped me to see how richly blessed I am and how much I have to be truly thankful for.

Sometimes, I go to The Book of Common Prayer when I don’t have words of my own. I’ve used The Liturgy of the Hours recently as well. Some of Henri Nouwen’s prayers have felt like they were my own prayers said better than I could ever say them. Sometimes, all I have is “Lord, help” and “Thank you, Lord.” Even my silence before God is a form of prayer for that is often when I can finally hear Him speaking to me.

So if all you fail to get anything else out of all I’ve written, get this. God wants to hear from you. He doesn’t want pretty words or perfect theology or even coherent sentences. He wants you, all of you. Every bit of joy and pain, hurt and triumph, sorrow and happiness. He wants everything that’s on your heart and on your mind.

This comes from one ragamuffin trying to tell all the other ragamuffins out there where to find the best Bread out there. That’s all.

A Blogger’s Prayer

prayer11

If you blog frequently or even on rare occasion, this prayer is for you. It was both encouraging and convicting for me personally. I hope it will bless and encourage and convict (where needed) each of you as you read it:

“I am no longer my own blogger, but Thine.

Refine me with each post how You will, rank me how You will.

Put me to service, or put me to suffering.

Let me be a follower, instead of seeking followers

Let me post for thee or be put aside for thee,

Lifted high, only for thee, or brought low, all for thee.

Do with me and each post whatever you will, because You alone know best.

Let me not strive but submit

Let me not compete but care

Let me not desire hits but holiness

Let my blog be full of You, and let it be empty of me.

Let me crave all things of You, let me care nothing of this world.

Let my words be worthy of the greatest of audiences: You.

And You are enough.

May I write not for subscribers… but only for Your smile.

May my daily affirmation be in the surety of my atonement not the size of my audience.

May my identity be in the innumerable graces of Christ, never, God forbid,

the numbers of my comments.

And may the only words that matter in my life not be the ones I write on a screen —

but the ones I live with my skin.

I freely and heartily yield every sentence, every title, every post, every comment… or no comments… all to Your pleasure and perfect will.

My only fame is that I bear your name

My only glory is the gift of Your Grace

My only readership, Your eyes that seek to and for to find a heart hard after you.

Make this so. Lord…

Yahweh, You alone are my God, not Google

Jesus, You alone are my Savior, not site meters

And Holy Spirit, you alone are my Comforter, not comments

So be it, today, yesterday, and every post to come.

This is my prayer I have made on earth, over this keyboard…

may it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.”

Things I Love 5: The Blog Series That Just Won’t Die

island hammock

I know I’m approaching slasher film status with my fifth blog in this series. Thankfully, this blog is 100% Jason- and Freddy Krueger-free. I’m keeping it strictly PG for the kids.

So let the list of things I love continue from where I left off at #102.

102) Seeing someone who really hurt me, albeit unintentionally, and being able to be friendly and cordial with her and realize that means that I am truly growing in grace.

103) The freedom that comes when you can finally admit that you were hurt and your world didn’t end.

104) Friends who you can vent to who will not just tell you what you want to hear, but will give you much-needed wisdom.

105) Good soul food by people who know how to cook it up right.

106) The dream of someone out there who will fall in love with me for me.

107) Those moments of unexpected and unexplainable joy.

108) The fact that I have enough things I love to make up five blogs’ worth of material (and counting).

109) That my parents are still married (which I now know is a rare blessing these days).

110) That I can step on my cat’s tail and/or on her foot and five minutes later she will still be in my lap, contentedly snoozing away.

111) The smell of apples (and the taste of a fresh Fuji apple).

112) Chocolate Cheerios (though I’m a bit peeved they weren’t around when I was growing up).

113) The new-found ability to start up a conversation with anyone at any time and realizing that people actually want to talk with me.

114) The amazing display of cheeses at The Fresh Market.

115) The book that inspired all these blogs– One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. One of my favorite books I’ve ever read.

116) Another day to be alive and blessed.

117) French Toast from The Pancake Pantry (but only the one in Gatlinburg).

118) Being in Gatlinburg and having a million happy childhood memories stirred up all over again.

119) Any movie where Fred Astaire dances with Ginger Rogers.

120) Being able to roll over and sleep for another hour.

121) The freedom of not having to try to be friends with everyone.

122) The fact that there will be at least one more of these blogs (and likely more after that).

The One Who Remembers

I looked up the word “witness” in a Greek dictionary just for kicks, ’cause that’s what really cool people like me do for fun, in case you ever wondered.

The definition I got startled me a bit. The literal meaning of the word is “one who remembers.” As I’ve mentioned before, believers are not called to be attorneys and prove the existence of Christianity and God, but to be witnesses and tell our stories.

Being a witness is remembering. It’s remembering where you were before Jesus found you, how lost and hopeless you were, how nothing made any sense and life had no meaning.

It’s about the moment you said YES to Jesus and how your life forever changed in that moment and how you became a new person, or a new creation as the verse in Galatians puts it.

You remember who you could be apart from the constant grace of God and how you’re capable of any sin under the sun apart from the indwelling Spirit of Christ. You remember enough times where you fell into temptation and messed up your witness to keep you from pride and thinking too highly of your own abilities.

Most of all, you remember God’s promises. How he promised to finish the good work he started in you. How he promised to never leave or forsake you. How he would see you through to become every bit of what he created you to be.

The Holy Spirit’s job is to bring those things to mind. His job is to remind us of all that Christ taught us, all of the lessons of faith we’ve learned along the way.

May you and I help each other remember our stories so that we can tell them to those who need to hear them most.

 

A Unique Kind of Blog for Me

I have never done anything like this, but I have never felt so led by the Spirit to promote a friend of mine who will be leaving for Columbia in a little over a month to be an English teacher in a bilingual Christian missionary school in Columbia, South America.

Her name is Lara Spaw and she is one of the best people and godliest women I have ever met and had the blessing to be friends with. Her friendship has made me better, stronger, braver, and more like Jesus.

I am calling to you action on her behalf. First of all, I ask for you to pray for her to have a mind that is Spirit-led and controlled and eyes that are fixed on Jesus. I pray for protection and blessing and anointing over her in her travels and during her stay in Columbia.

But I also am calling you to support her financially. I myself have felt God putting a dollar amount in my heart to give to her ministry, and for me it would be a sin not to give that. But I encourage you to give as you feel led by the Spirit of God.

http://www.rce-international.org/donate/credit-card-donate-page/

This is the link. You will see a box with a scroll tab under the word “missionaries.” There you can scroll down until you see her name followed by the number 11944. Or you can write a check made out to RCE International and send it to PO Box 4528, Wheaton, IL 60189. In the memo line of your check, put “Ministry Account 11944.”

This plea for support is not because Lara is my friend. It is because I believe God called her to Columbia for such a time as this. Who knows but God may work in her and through her to do a mighty work in that country? Who knows but this might be the start of a nationwide revival that goes global?

I don’t know. I do know that God honors those who honor him and blesses those who reach out to the least of these.

Lara, I will be praying for you every day while you’re away and believing in faith that you will be amazed and astounded at what God does not only in you but through you and around you. You gave Jesus a place to start and now He is getting ready to change the world through you and others like you.

Thank you for your friendship and your faithfulness to God’s calling on your life.

It’s Wednesday

It’s Wednesday at 9:48 pm and I can’t think of a blessed thing to blog about. The more I rack my brains together, the less I get. It’s sorta like that feeling I used to get when I sat down to begin writing a term paper or essay. The page stayed blank no matter how hard I stared at it.

I could continue with last night’s thoughts about how knowing who you are in Christ will defend you against the schemes and tactics of the devil. His name means slanderer. He is also known as the accuser. But he has no power over you in you’re standing firm and trusting in the promises and the power of the Christ who defeated him long ago at Calvary.

The truth is that it’s easy to forget these things even after only one day. It’s easy to sink back into old thought defeatist thought patterns and negative name-calling. That’s why the Holy Spirit’s job is to remind us of all Jesus taught us. We’re so very forgetful.

The name I picked out for myself to remind me of who I am was FAVORED. I have been the recipient of God’s unending favor and blessing. When it becomes all too easy to focus on all that I lack and still don’t have yet, I call to mind that I am the Lord’s favored one.

If you pick just one name and hang on to that to remind yourself of who you are when times get tough and God seems distant, you will remember that He may feel far off but He is never more than one cry for help away.

By the way, Wednesday means hump day. We’re over the hump week-wise and it’s all downhill from here. Only Thursday and Friday left to go.

Also a good reminder.

More Thoughts on Fighting From Victory (And not For It)

chariots of fire

I normally don’t do follow-up blogs to ones I have posted. Kinda like the line about not repeating this ever again or something like that. Did I mention my brain is a little fuzzy this evening?

Someone posted a comment on my blog that got my attention. I failed to mention or say correctly that we should pray for strength. Absolutely. We should pray that God will strengthen us with power through His Holy Spirit.

It seems to me that sometimes we should claim the power that is already in us. The Bible states that the power that raised Christ from the dead is in us. It is in us because the risen Christ is in us.

The power that my sin couldn’t overcome. The power that death could not conquer. The power that the grave couldn’t hold down. That kind of power.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t pray to be strong, but rather that God would be strong through me. I want to be a vessel that God pours through, that God loves through, that God comes through.

Sometimes I know how I want to say something in my head and for whatever reason, it doesn’t quite come out in print. On a side note, I have become quite familiar with the taste of shoe leather for as many times as I have put my foot in my mouth and said really dumb things. That really makes me feel like a heel.

Pray for strength. Yes. Claim the power of the risen Christ in you. Yes. The point is that you don’t have to live defeated and downtrodden. You can live in victory because the Victor lives in you.

That’s what I am praying and claiming for myself and for all of you tonight. May God’s peace rule your hearts tonight, friends!

A Christmas letter to my future wife

image

I’m still waiting for you. And did I mention the whole “not good at waiting” part? More accurately, how badly I suck at waiting? I’m getting better, but I am still very impatient 95% of the time. But I know that this waiting will not have been in vain when I meet you.

I keep thinking of our firsts– first kiss (obviously), first snow to hold hands and walk together through, first night in front of a roaring fireplace, first time we’re both snuggled under the same blanket. . . . so many firsts that are yet to come. The best part will be that we didn’t give up and settle, but held out and found out that miracles do still come true.

I am leaning to stop looking for you with my eyes, and look for you with my heart. I will look for you not through my own eyes, but more and more through God’s eyes. I want to fall in love with your compassionate heart and your tender spirit. Your beauty will be Jesus inside you shining through for the world to see. Or at least for those who have eyes to see.

Remember no matter what anyone tells you you are, you are a daughter of the King. You are royalty– a princess. Don’t let anyone ever treat you as less. You were worth every drop of Jesus’ blood not because of anything in you, but because Jesus set His heart on you and declared you worthy.

I think I am slowly but surely becoming the man who will capture your heart and be worthy of your love. I have bad days when I strive and fail and I have days full of grace when I am finally weak enough to let Jesus do it all. That’s all I can do.

I am thanking Jesus for you in advance and thanking you in advance for being faithful to Jesus and never giving up on me. I’ll be thinking of you a lot this Christmas.

Bedtime thoughts

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).

That’s it. Love God and love others.

But for you to love God, you have to know the reality that God already loves you. For you to love others as yourself, you have to love yourself. Ultimately, you can’t do it. Well, I will only speak for myself here and say that I can’t love God or anybody else, even me, on my own strength. I need Jesus in me, pouring out His agape love, or else I am empty and cold and love-less.

Sometimes, God calls you to love yourself as you love your neighbor. Sometimes, it’s easier to love someone else than to love that person you hang around with every minute of every day. That person who looks back at you in the mirror with accusing eyes that speak of all the impure thoughts, mixed motives, and selfish ambition.

That’s when you and I have to believe what God says about who we are over what we see and think and feel. As a friend of mine told me once, “What you think and feel will lie to you.” But God never will.

God is true. God is love. And God loves you.

And you have all the power of Christ that overcame the grave in you. You have His perfect righteousness that covers your own wretched self-righteous rags of filth.

So be free to love. Love God, love others and love you.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.