grandfather

Time Machines and All That

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rod-taylor-time-machine

I had a mini-marathon of Mad Men Season 6 tonight. Every time I watch that  show, I have a longing to be transported back to the 60’s and all the history that was in the making during those years.

There’s something  about retro and nostalgia that comforts me. Even if it’s from before my time, I’m still drawn to it.

I had an idea for a motel that I think would work. Each room would be completely furnished from whatever was popular and trendy from a particular year or decade. So, there might be a room dedicated to 1965 or to the 50’s. And there wouldn’t be any technology that came after in these rooms.

Maybe that’s a dumb idea, but I’d pay to see that.

Sometimes, I think I’d like to go back and sit and talk with people in my life who have passed on. People like my grandmother and two uncles on my Dad’s side. Both my grandfathers. My childhood friend. People that I at times took for granted and now wish I could spend time with.

This may be me repeating myself yet again, but don’t take those people in your life for granted. Don’t ever assume they know how you feel about them. Nothing brings more regret than unspoken words. People are in your life for a limited time and once they’re gone, you can never retrieve the time or the chances you had with them.

I know that scientifically time machines aren’t possible. But I still like the idea of them. I like reading stories and seeing movies about people who can travel through time. It just appeals to me.

I may not be able to go back in time or into the future, but I can be fully present where I am and not miss the moments God gives me. That’s the best I can do to honor those who are gone from my life.

 

It Runs in the Family

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boots

When I was little, I used to love to go over to my grandparents’ house. One of my favorite things to do there was to find a pair of my granddad’s boots and walk around in them. They probably came up to my knees and were way too big for my little feet, but I didn’t care. Just the fact that I was walking in my grandfather’s shoes was enough for me.

Fast forward about 30 or so years. I’d been living in Nashville for 5 years and felt the time was right to complete the acclimation by purchasing a pair of cowboy boots. I mean, I’d already started listening to some country music (just not the kind where the girl thinks the tractor is sexy).

I looked at a lot of boots. There was one pair of Dan Posts (shown in the above picture) that I was drawn to the first place I looked. No matter how many other places I looked, I couldn’t find any others that seemed to call my name the way these did. I can’t explain it other than to say that these boots spoke to me.

I shelled over $230 bucks for these bad boys. I know in cowboy boot world, that’s not a lot. Boots can easily get up into the $3000 and up category, especially if they’re custom made. But that was a LOT of money for me to spend on shoes.

It turns out that my grandfather’s favorite kind of boots were Dan Posts. I didn’t find that out until after my purchase, but it was a kind of  confirmation for me that I had picked the right pair.

Now every time I put them on, I feel like I’m walking in his shoes, so to speak. And it feels good. It makes me grateful to have been a small part of a legacy of love.

 

A Bittersweet Christmas

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

bud

It’s been a bittersweet 2012 Christmas.

I’ve loved being with family and seeing my 14-month old niece getting the hang of walking and just starting to say her first words. Seeing my nephews’ faces light up with all their Christmas presents has been fun, too.

But today I’ve also been thinking a lot about my granddaddy who took his life 30 years ago tonight. It was Christmas Day 1982 when he decided that life wasn’t worth living anymore.

I still remember where I was when I found out about his suicide. I remember my pastor at the time coming over to tell me and how my 10-year old brain couldn’t process the news, so I went back to my room to watch the football game on my little black-and-white TV. I still don’t think I’ve completely processed it yet.

I have trouble remembering what he looked like, especially when he smiled, or what his laugh sounded like. I do know that I still miss him and I have so many things I’d like to tell him.

I’d tell him that he missed out on a lot. Like my sister and I growing up. Her getting married and having children. All of us getting older and closer together as a family. And most of all, how we’ve found God to be a comfort and a refuge.

I’d tell him that we all loved him so much. That we still love him so much, even 30 years after he left us. I’d tell him that there’s nothing so bad that family can’t help, and especially God’s love can’t get you through.

I’d say that I understand now a little better why he did what he did. I’m glad that he’s found peace at last in the arms of Jesus and has no more fears or worries or self-doubts.

I have something that belonged to him– an old tube radio from the 50’s that still works. It’s nice to be able to turn it on and think that I’m listening to the same radio that he kept on his workbench all those years. It makes me smile and remember him in happier times.

I’m a little more thankful for my family tonight. I hope to hug them more often, be more present in their lives, and tell them I love them as often as possible. You never know when it could be the last time you might have the chance.

Tangible Memories

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I have my grandfather’s old radio. It sat on his workbench for years and kept him entertained while he tinkered and puttered around in his garage.

Now it sits in my bedroom, a tangible reminder of someone that I loved who is gone but not forgotten.

It’s more than a collection of old tubes and dials and wiring. It’s like a piece of my grandfather is here with me, even though my grandfather has been gone almost 30 years.

I hope one day to leave a legacy like that to someone. I hope that the words I have written or spoken, the things I have done, will inspire someone else to go out and make a difference, to do what most other people say can’t be done.

The radio still works. It takes a minute or two for the tubes to warm up, but after that it sounds as good as it ever did. Legacies are funny that way.