Joni Mitchell and Another Wednesday Evening

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It was a perfect Wednesday evening. Here in the glorious state of Tennessee, we’re in that wonderful time of spring, just before it starts to get sticky hot and humid, where the temperature is just right.

I love driving home when the weather’s like that. There’s something about temps in the low 70s and a cool spring breeze that awakens all my happy memories from childhood and makes me hopeful for the future. What is it in the springtime air that makes me feel a little less anxious and a little more assured of God’s plan for me?

Also, I had Ms. Joni Mitchell playing in the car, which always makes everything better, especially her albums like Clouds and Blue. Those are currently my top two favorites of hers.

We all need days like these when hope seems like a precious and rare commodity. We need little God-winks to remind us that God still cares and still watches and still provides.

I’ve seen too many times where God came though at just the right time to doubt, yet somehow I still do. I think somehow this time will be different than the other 99, that maybe God will be caught napping or away from His desk. Or maybe that He’s decided that I’m not worth the effort anymore.

I remember those thoughts and feelings. I know where they come from. Not from the Father but from the father of lies. I let these thoughts pass right on through without heeding them at all. I remember the promises of God that are always YES and AMEN in Jesus and then I have hope again.

I have to remind myself that every moment is grace, even the lonely moment or the anxious moment or the doubful moment. Every moment that I’m alive to see what God will do next in my life is grace.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

 

Vulgar Grace: Final Thoughts on All is Grace

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“My life is a witness to vulgar grace — a grace that amazes as it offends. A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wage as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten till five. A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck toward the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party, no ifs, ands, or buts. A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief’s request — ‘Please, remember me’ — and assures him, ‘You bet!’…This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion. It works without asking anything of us. It’s not cheap. It’s free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility. Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to try and find something or someone that it cannot cover. Grace is enough. He is enough. Jesus is enough” (Brennan Manning).

I think grace offends most of us because we’re all about the American work ethic and pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and earning our own way and yada, yada, yada. Grace says that no, you did not earn God’s love but you got it anyway. Grace says that what you do deserve is exactly what you don’t get and be thankful for that.

I will love grace as long as I live because without it, I wouldn’t be alive. I wouldn’t be anything at all.

I hope that I can come close to writing about grace as well as Brennan Manning did. Of course, I’d rather not go through a lifetime of alcoholism and all the destruction it wrought in his life. But there are no convenient and easy paths when it comes to dispensing grace to others. It’s much easier to wish karma on to those who hurt others or (especially) us. Karma may appeal more to our ideas of justice, but when it comes to love, grace always wins hands down.

So, go read this book. I’ve even provided a link for you to go directly to amazon’s page to buy it. So there are no more excuses.

http://www.amazon.com/All-Grace-Ragamuffin-Brennan-Manning/dp/1434764184/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1430101511&sr=8-1&keywords=all+is+grace

Now there’s no more crowds and no more lights,
still all is grace.
Now my eyes are wrapped in endless night,
still all is grace.
Now I pace the dark and sleep the day,
yet I still can hear my Father say –
‘all is grace’.

It was easy as a younger man
To squander in the far off land
Where sin is sin, like black is black.
But the older brother sin is white,
this doubt that creeps me up at night –
‘does Jesus love me still?’

Now I take my meds and hear the game,
still all is grace.
Now old friends drop in and bless my name,
still all is grace.
Now a prodigal I’ll always be
yet still my Father runs to me.
All is grace.”

Oh Brother

I have a couple of confessions to make. I don’t mean the kind where I fess up to misdeeds or give you a “Woe is pitiful me” speech. I mean the kind where I let you in on how I occasionally do dumb stuff.

I’d been having trouble with my phone. At least I blamed my phone for the trouble I’d been having. I’d miss calls all the time and not hear (or feel) my phone ringing. I thought the old  iPhone 5 was finally giving up the ghost. It turns out I had somehow managed to have the “Do Not Disturb” feature on my phone activated for weeks without realizing it. FYI: if you don’t want to be annoyed by late night calls or texts, DO turn on this feature, but also remember to turn it off in the morning.

I have since restored the setting and I can now answer all those very important calls from all those very important people I’d been missing out on.

Also, I found out that my hand sanitizer has an expiration date. Or more honestly, HAD an expiration date of June 2014. I was unaware that hand sanitizer could go bad. Or at least not be fresh. Side note: does expired hand sanitizer make your hands dirtier or does it just lose effectiveness?

At the end of the day, I chalk things like these up to experience gained without too much lost. If those are the worst things that ever happen to me, I’m doing alright.

I’ve learned that you have to give yourself grace and allow for the occasional stupidity. As much as you pride yourself on being intelligent, you will inevitably do something dumb that will leave you scratching your head. It will happen. Take it from me.

As for the hand sanitizer, I plan on using it until it runs out and then moving up to the 2015 edition. I figure I’m only three months late.

 

Karma vs. Grace at Christmas

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I hear a lot of people who profess Christianity talking about karma. Well, more specifically, I see many of my facebook friends who post how people who mess them over are gonna get what karma’s dishing out.

It’s funny how people always want karma for others but never for themselves. Just my opinion.

I prefer grace. Period.

I know where I’d be if I got karma. Majorly screwed.

Besides, Jesus didn’t come to give karma. Jesus came to give grace, which in my mind is infinitely better.

Karma says you get what you deserve. Grace says Jesus got and paid for what you deserve. That’s the difference.

Karma is all about what you deserve. Grace is what you don’t deserve but get anyway. Karma may be getting your just desserts, but grace is more like a feast– much more satisfying and filling.

Karma says that it’s up to you. Grace says that God is up to it.

Karma says that if you try really hard and be nice to people then maybe, just maybe, on the next go-round, you won’t be a bug. Eventually, if you’re really lucky and eat all your vegetables, you may wind up in a good place. And I admit that I’m exaggerating a bit.

Grace says that no matter how badly you’ve messed up and how even if you’ve made enough mistakes for several lifetimes, Jesus offers forgiveness and a do-over. Jesus offers a new life, not just in the eternal by-and-by, but here and now. Life to the fullest.

I choose grace.

If you want karma, that’s fine. I don’t want to wish for someone what I wouldn’t want to receive myself. I know that it’s not right to want karma for others and grace for myself. It just doesn’t work that way.

So grace wins in my book, hands down. The end.

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Another Night of Worship

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Kairos is always good. But every now and then, it gets taken up a notch to an epic level known as a Night of Worship. Usually, that means more worship songs. Hence the name.

Tonight’s theme was the love of God from 1 John 4:10. The question was this: “Do you see yourself the way God sees you?”

Often, it’s easy to look in the mirror and see failure, broken promises, and unfulfilled potential. It’s easy to focus on the might-have-beens and on what you lack instead of what you have and who you are.

It becomes infinitely easier to love yourself once you begin to grasp how deep the Father’s love for you truly is. How deep and wide and high and long. How unfathomable. Once you realize you did nothing to earn it and can do nothing to lose it.

It’s easy to worship when the emotions are running high and the crowd is hyped, but what about when you’re stuck in that morning traffic or slogging through emails at work? Or pouring that all-important first cup of coffee while it’s still dark outside?

Music and singing are a part of worship, but not all of it. Not even close. Worship is how you make much of Jesus in everything you do wherever you are whenever you are. Even taking out the trash or scrubbing toilets can be an act of worship when done in gratitude.

Still, the music part is nice.

What I Need on Mondays

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I need one of these first thing on a Monday morning, filled with my delightful blend of coffee, creamer, and sugar. Heavy on the creamer and sugar and light on the coffee. Or as I like to call it– coffee-flavored sugar milk.

I used to not drink coffee at all. Then I graduated to frappacinos, then to cappacinos, then to lattes, and finally to the grown-up drink. The other grown-up drink.

Mondays come awfully early in the week, so I need a cup about the size of the one pictured above. I also need about 8 hours more sleep. And maybe a vacation.

But most of all I still need grace. Every moment of the day, every day of my life.

It’s funny how I start to think I’m entitled to grace. The very nature of grace means that no one is entitled to it, no one deserves it, and no one should expect it because it is still the unmerited favor of God. Or as I’ve heard it put– God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

So that’s it. I need more sleep, a vacation, a ridiculously-sized cup o’ joe, and grace. Not necessarily in that order.

 

A Puritan Prayer on Contentment

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I have a book called The Valley of Vision. It’s essentially a collection of really old, i.e. 1600’s Puritan prayers. I chose one of them at random to share with you (and because it’s just so freakin’ awesome).

“Heavenly Father, if I should suffer need, and go unclothed, and be in poverty, make my heart prize Your love, know it, be constrained by it, though I be denied all blessings. It is Your mercy to afflict and try me with wants, for by these trials I see my sins, and desire severance from them. Let me willingly accept misery, sorrows, temptations, if I can thereby feel sin as the greatest evil, and be delivered from it with gratitude to You, acknowledging this as the highest testimony of Your love.

When Your Son, Jesus, came into my soul instead of sin He became more dear to me than sin had formerly been; His kindly rule replaced sin’s tyranny. Teach me to believe that if ever I would have any sin subdued I must not only labour to overcome it, but must invite Christ to abide in the place of it, and He must become to me more than vile lust had been; that His sweetness, power, life may be there. Thus I must seek a grace from Him contrary to sin, but must not claim it apart from Himself.

When I am afraid of evils to come, comfort me by showing me that in myself I am a dying, condemned wretch, but in Christ I am reconciled and live; that in myself I find insufficiency and no rest, but in Christ there is satisfaction and peace; that in myself I am feeble and unable to do good, but in Christ I have ability to do all things. Though now I have His graces in part, I shall shortly have them perfectly in that state where You will show Yourself fully reconciled, and alone sufficient, efficient, loving me completely, with sin abolished. O Lord, hasten that day.”

Those Puritans sure knew how to pray.

One Day at a Time, One Thing at a Time: My Takeaway from Kairos

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I can be very judgmental at times. I can be all smiling on the outside while inwardly I am silently judging and (sometimes) condemning.

Like for instance I see a guy wearing his hat backwards and I’m all, “Dude, if you’re not in a frat on your way to a party, turn your hat around.” I know. It’s juvenile of me to think that way. It’s also juvenile to wear your hat backwards if you’re over 25. Had to get in one last zinger.

The point is this: would I be so quick to judge a person if I knew how far he or she had come? Maybe instead I’d be quicker to be astonished at the progress that person has made. Would I have done as well in similar circumstances?

It’s one day at a time, one thing at a time. You may be a recovering addict who cusses like a sailor. First, you get clean, then you work on cleaning up your language.

The life of faith is a lot like that. There will always be something to work on, something you could always do better, bad habits to break. Just focus on one thing for one day.

I don’t have the whole faith thing figured out. Some days, I suck at it. Most days, I do okay. Every day I need more grace. So do you.

The point isn’t perfection, but a yearning to be better and do better than you did yesterday. It’s believing that I can’t, but that God CAN. That’s faith.

Friends and Pins and Stuff

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I have a Pinterest account. I think I’ve established that fact.

I will go a while without pinning anything and then I will pin for 30 minutes straight. Or something like that. I’ve never actually timed my pinning sessions.

Lately, I’ve been pinning a lot of Friends- themed pins. It’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that the last episode of that show aired 10 years ago. 10 years.

In my mind, 1994 was 10 years ago, not 2004. It’s like I have a 10-year block in my brain. And I am really not ready for 1984 to be 30 years in the past.

I don’t feel 40-something. Most of the time I feel 30-something (or even 20-something on really good days). The joke is that you feel like you’re in your 20’s until you hang out with actual 20-somethings, then you feel your own age again.

So back to Friends. I still love watching the re-runs. All those characters were so perfectly cast and each one had his or her own quirks and faults and strong points. Like me. I’m sure I have my strengths and weaknesses like anybody else.

I think we all have to realize that as imperfect as we are, so is everybody else around us. If I can give myself grace for not being perfect and for committing the occasional blunder or two, I can do the same for others.

It’s easy to nurse the wounds and play the martyr and hold grudges. Somehow, it feels better. But it’s not the better way. Jesus showed that the better way is forgiveness. The better way is turning the other cheek. The better way is loving your enemies.

Notice I didn’t say the easier way. Usually, the better way is the harder way because it goes against my natural inclinations. I’d rather treat others like they treat me and not give those who don’t treat me right the time of day.

But ultimately, it’s not about how others treat me. It’s about how Jesus treated me when I was a stranger and an alien and an enemy. That’s my new standard now.

And no, I didn’t expect to go from 90’s TV sitcoms to heavy theology in one blog. That’s just how I roll sometimes.

Just Some Of My Own Thoughts

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I’ve been thinking a lot about some things and I thought I’d share some of these with you:

1) Loving someone doesn’t mean you automatically agree with all of their decisions and lifestyle choices. It doesn’t mean you endorse 100% of all that they say and do. In fact, love means wanting the very best for the other and that means you don’t want that person to make bad and/or unwise choices.

2) Disagreeing with someone isn’t  synonymous with disliking that person. Just because I don’t agree with a choice you make or your lifestyle does NOT mean that I disapprove of you as a person.

3) Because a majority of people hold an opinion doesn’t necessarily make it right. I am one of those old fashioned people who still believe  that if the Bible says it, that settles it. God doesn’t need my belief to validate that.

4) I don’t think voicing disapproval automatically constitutes hate speech. There is a way to speak the truth in love.

5) I can’t single out one sin that I don’t struggle with to make a crusade out of. We all struggle with something and we all have screwed up in one arena or another. We all need the grace of God.

You can take that and apply it any way you want. For me, it’s never been about popularity anyway. It’s been about me expressing what I believe and what I love and what irks me.

I hope you will make your decisions based not on emotion but on the truth as revealed in God’s word. I hope you will remember that famous verse about letting the one who is without sin cast the first stone. I hope you will remember most of all that what the Bible calls us to more than anything else is to love people, regardless of whether they choose Jesus or not.

Is that vague enough for you?